


Love's Playlist

by ShineYunhyeong21



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Non-Idol AU, Romance, Songfic, Ups and Downs, it's a relationship, maybe smut??, still don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-07-02 01:58:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 130,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15786624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShineYunhyeong21/pseuds/ShineYunhyeong21
Summary: Yunhyeong and Hanbin's Relationship told from start to finish through song titles.OrSongs that relate to a certain moment in the relationship and I don't really know how to word this.





	1. MY TYPE

**Author's Note:**

> "You're my type, when I look at you I want you so bad, I go crazy." - My Type by iKON

Sitting in the skate park with Bobby and Jinhwan, I was leaned back on my hands staring at the sky. We came on whim and it wasn’t like any of us knew how to skate, so we brought our bikes but in the end that laid at our feet. Sighing, I glanced around wishing that we had gone to eat or something, even though we were all broke and would mostly end up at Jinhwan’s eating ramen again.

“Woah.” Jumping, I looked at Bobby to see that he was staring at something, so following his line of vision I came to see a group of guys walking the track. “They’re hot, right?”

“The gay just jumped out.” Giggling at Jinhwan’s words, I stared not being able to take my eyes off of them as well. “But, yeah, they are hot. Especially that guy with undercut and blonde hair, oh, and the one with the short black hair.”

“Whore!” The one that had caught my attention had grey-ish blue hair and the kindest smile I have ever seen. “But, let’s go see if they want to hang.”

Grabbing Bobby’s arm, I stopped him because that idea was crazy. We didn’t even know them – what if they were thieves or something. I might be broke, but I have some expensive stuff on me. Shaking his head, he grabbed my hand yanking me from where I sat as we ran down the slope towards where they stood staring at us. My head was hung because he looked even better the closer we got. His black skinny jeans, white converse, and light blue long sleeve shirt fit him so well. Ugh, he was just my type, but nobody was going to know that.

“HEY!” Squeezing my eyes closed, I took a deep breath as Bobby let me go and doing the only thing I knew how to do, I walked away leaning against the fence. “I’m Bobby, this is Jinhwan, and that loser over there is Hanbin. Do you guys want to hang with us?”

I was expecting them to say no, and just brush the two of them off, but they just had to say yes. Sighing, I stuffed my hands into my plaid jacket trying to look cooler than I am. They were making their way over to me for introductions and I was just glad that my snapback covered a good portion of my face.

“Like I said this loser is Hanbin. He’s a little shy, but once you get used to him he’ll warm right up. Isn’t that right, Hanbin?” Giving a curt nod, they laughed before walking past me and I fell right into line with them.

“Hanbin, right?” Peeking out from the corner of my eye, I saw the white converse and for a second my heart had stopped only to start beating hard in my ears. “I’m Yunhyeong, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Mumbling my words, I felt like an idiot but he laughed causing me to calm down a little bit. “I haven’t seen you around here before.”

“Oh, I recently just moved in with my cousin, Chanwoo. My parents moved farther from my school because of work, and I didn’t want to move, so now I live with Woo.” Woo? I want him to give me a cute nickname – no, stop, that’s creepy Hanbin.

“Mhm, well I hope to see you around more often.” Picking up my walking pace, I saw that they were at least half a mile ahead of us. “We don’t want to be left behind, right?”

“I don’t mind.” Coming to a halt, I almost tripped over myself trying to look back at him only to see him shrug before his hand came up grabbing my arm with concern on his face. “I want to become friends with you.”

“F-Friends? With me?” Gulping, he smiled again and my mind was blown with how sincere he was being.

“Of course, who else? Unless, there’s a ghost then I can’t do it.” I smiled wide for the first time since we started talking – what is he doing to me?

“You don’t like ghost?” He looked around before coming in close to me.

“I’m absolutely terrified of horror movies, but don’t tell anyone because I get enough shit from Woo as it is.” Nodding, we continued to walk slow talking about everything and nothing as everything about him was fascinating to me.

We were nowhere near close to catching up with them, so looking over I saw our bikes and without much warning I dragged him towards them. Picking up my bike, it wasn’t motorized like Bobby’s which meant that I was going to have to use a lot of leg power but for him I didn’t mind. Getting on, we stared at each other – mine in fascination and his in confusion.

“Handlebars or back pegs?” A shy smile came onto his face as he thought before going to the front of the bike and jumping on the handlebars. “Ready?”

“Let’s go!” Laughing, I pushed off racing us towards the others who were now becoming closer to us causing me to go faster as I wanted to break up the little group. “Watch out!”

His squeal caught the attention of the others and like the red sea they parted allowing us through. Looking back, I stuck my tongue out at them and before I knew it they were riding along side of us with bright smiles on their faces. The blonde guy with the undercut was riding Jinhwan’s bike with him on the back pegs, and Bobby had the clean cut looking one with the middle part riding behind him on his bike. The one who I could only guess to be Woo, had brought out a motorized scooter and was keeping up with us before speeding up to be in front of us. All of us rode around the track like that a few times, racing one another while also trying to crash into each other – it was the most fun I had in weeks. But like all things our fun had to come to an end as it was getting late and they needed to head home, and being the gentlemen that we are, we offered to walk them home.

“Look at those two over there! And Hanbin was being all shy in the beginning!” Turning around, I glared at Bobby as he was poking fun at Yunhyeong and I. “Sorry.”

Yunhyeong’s hand snuck around my arm as he held the handlebar on which he once sat on before sliding his hand slowly closer to my own. I froze a little but he only smiled while bringing his body close to my own, and before I could stop myself I whispered what I’ve been thinking all day.

“You’re my type.” I expected him to push my away, instead he ended up coming closer to me, his hand finally on top of mine.

“And you’re mine.” My bike hit a rock causing it to shake in my hands and if it wasn’t for him I would have ended up on the ground, on top of my bike.

“Hey, we go this way, so don’t do anything.” Scoffing, I rolled my eyes as the other four parted off leaving only Yunhyeong, Chanwoo, and I.

“Hyung, Jaewon texted me and told me to meet with him, so I’ll see you at home, okay?” He nodded causing us to stop as we watched the younger scooter off in a different direction.

“Is that okay? Not to be that person or anything, but it is dark out and he’s on a scooter – not to mention that he is younger than us.” Snorting, I raised my eyebrow at him not really getting the joke.

“Chanwoo does whatever he wants, and no one can tell him otherwise. So, if he gets jacked for his scooter then, oh well.” Nodding, we continued our walk in the correct direction and I was kind of glad that he lived close to me. “Well, this is me.”

Blinking, I turned to see the apartment building that was right across from my own. Smiling, I bid him goodnight before turning my bike to leave only to be stopped by his arm grabbing me and pulling me towards him. The bike was the only distance between us causing my smile to fall a little as nervousness sat in – what was he going to say? What was he going to do? Are we going to kiss? A million thought ran through my mind and it wasn’t until I felt his hand sneaking into my pants pocket that I even noticed that he was closer than before. Pulling my phone out, he looked down swiping it unlocked before going to my contacts and adding himself with a heart emoji.

“Put a code on your phone. Who knows what I might send?” And with that he was gone, it was as if he was never here, even though I watched him enter the building.

My whole body shook as I pushed my bike towards my building and entering, I rode the elevator not saying a word – I didn’t want to ruin this moment. Making it home, I left my bike in the entryway and stepping through the door that lead into my actual home, I greeted my parents before running into my room. Slamming the door closed, I did the only rational thing I could do, I jumped on my bed rolling and flopping around with an idiot’s smile on my face. ‘Who know what I might send?’, the words made me tingly because who knows?

Texting the group chat that Bobby, Jinhwan, and I had, I told them to suck it as they were always quick to say that I would never date anyone because I didn’t know people. Well, look who’s laughing now! I met someone who is also interested in me as much as I’m interested in them, even though it might not last but I can still laugh. Knock on wood! I hope it latest forever and ever!

Everything about him was my type, even the way how his eyes creased when he laughed. I think this is what you call love at first sight.


	2. #WYD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What are you doing tomorrow? I miss you." - iKON

After our faithful meeting a few weeks ago, we started to walk the short distance to meet with our friends before we as a collective group headed off to school. I was surprised to know that had been going to my school for like ever, which was weird because I knew everyone that went there.

Laughing at a joke that Bobby made, I accidently bumped into him causing him to trip a little. Catching him, I apologized but he only shook his head smile still in place as he held my arm. That warm tingly feeling was back and looking away from him I saw the look that Jinhwan was giving me – it was a mixture of a smirk and a smile. As we got closer to the school, I removed his hand going towards my best friends as we had different class from them and walking away I couldn’t help but notice the sad look that was on his face.

“You didn’t have to throw his hand away like that.” I was confused because I gently removed it. “I can already hear your thoughts, and you didn’t. You flung it away as if it was an insect.”

“O-Oh, I did?” Scratching the back of my neck, I groaned now fully understanding why he looked so sad. “I’ll apologize to him later.”

“Mhm, yeah, later.” Punching Bobby, he jumped away all but running down the hall causing me to follow as I wanted to know what he meant by that.

Class was pretty eventful as Bobby kept telling our classmates my business and the future that he envisioned for Yunhyeong and I, all I could do was laugh because he was an idiot. A giant one. Lunch had come around and like always, we ate outside at our favorite table which had those two arguing on if they should text the others to join us. I didn’t really care as I was more focused on my food – well that was until I saw a familiar blue-ish grey head running around a few feet in front of me. Pulling out my phone, I sent him a text and keeping the chat open I watched as he flopped down at his own table pulling his phone out.

_Me:_

_Wyd?_

_Yunhyeong ♥:_

_At lunch, why?_

_Me:_

_Look up._

His head flung up and as intended we made eye-contact causing me to smile as I gave him a small wave. He gave me a bigger one which had his whole table turning to look at me, and chocking a little at the intense stares, I snatched Jinhwan’s juice gulping a good amount of it down. A blush had crept up on my face hearing the ‘ohhs’ that came from the table making it basically impossible for me to look at him again. Stuffing my mouth with the rest of my food, I tried not to choke even though that was becoming hard to do with Bobby and Jinhwan kicking me and making weird, or lewd, noises every time I even tried to look at him. Once lunch was over, I had texted him again asking him what he was doing causing him to reply that he was heading back to class. Laughing, I had suddenly thought of something, so putting my phone back into my pocket I didn’t reply back to his text just yet.

I let an hour past before texting him the same thing again, and again, liking the fact that he slowly stopped using words and began to use emojis. When there was only an hour left for school, I asked him again causing him to send me a picture of him in class with one of his friends peeking over his head. More soon followed as he made it impossible for me to even ask because the moment I started typing another picture was sent. I started to save the cute ones which had Bobby calling me a creep, but Jinhwan was on my side this time saying that it was cute.

“Hanbin becomes cute when he’s in love.” Coughing, I hit my chest shaking my head because it was a mutual interest, not love. “You are in love, dummy. It’s only been a few weeks and all you do is either talk about, stare at, or text him.”

“Yeah, to be honest, you only text us before going to bed as you tell us to suck it; and I really don’t want to.” Walking away from them, embarrassment had begun to settle in as they had a point but I wouldn’t be so quick to call it love.

It was love at first sight though – that could be chalked up to him being my type.

I was so into deny my love for him that I didn’t even realize that I had speed past him and our other new friends who were staring at me as if I had lost my mind. Making it home, I went straight into my room ignoring the fact that my mother had said that dinner was on the table and she was going back to work. As the front door closed, I couldn’t help but sigh before flipping over and burying my face into my pillows.

Do I love him? Am I in love with him?

My thought process was interrupted by my phone going off causing me to lift myself up a little as I dug around in my pockets. Pulling it out, I saw a message from Yunhyeong and without a second thought I opened it and began reading it. Why was I so quick to answer his messages? I usually make Jinhwan and Bobby wait for a few hours before I stop feeling lazy enough to text them back, but with him the moment they came in I was replying.

_Yunhyeong ♥:_

_Wyd?_

The smile that was pulling at my lips had me flipping around so that I was now on my back staring at my phone screen.

_Me:_

_Thinking…_

_Yunhyeong ♥:_

_About?_

My fingers ghosted over the three letters that I wanted to press, but I didn’t know if he was going to respond kindly to it. We might be each other’s types but that doesn’t mean that he holds any feelings for me. I don’t even know if I hold feelings for him. Whatever, I might as well go for it and get whatever is coming to me.

_Me:_

_You._

Putting my phone face down, I left it not wanting to know what he was going to say just yet. I think I’ll eat dinner then I’ll take a shower before checking. Yes, that was the best idea because it’ll clear my head and prepare me for his answer. Running into the kitchen, I sat down at the table uncovering the food that had gone warm from sitting there for the time that it had, but I didn’t care scarfing it down as if it was my lunch. Eating more than I should have, I cleaned everything up so that it wouldn’t go bad before they got home later to eat. They might not even eat. Shrugging the thought away, the bathroom was calling my name so I went into it. I took a long shower on purpose, even took a few extra minutes to pick up my clothes from the floor and toss them into my hamper. Changing into my normal pajamas that consisted of only underwear and sweatpants, I flopped down causing my phone to fly in the air and catching it I noticed the way how my screen lit up allowing me to see the notification. Pressing in the code to unlock my phone, I tapped his name waiting for our text thread to appear.

_Yunhyeong ♥:_

_Call me ~_

The worry that I had left me as I hit the call button placing the phone on speaker and laying it next to me, listening as it rang.

“What are you doing?” His voice sounded different over the phone than it had in person, or maybe it was just the fact that it was getting late.

“Lying in bed. How about you?” It felt so awkward seeing as how this is the first time we’ve ever talked like this.

“Just got done doing my homework.” Humming, my head felt like it was swimming and I didn’t know why. “Hanbin~?”

“Hm?” I had zoned out a little trying to figure out the feeling as it was making my chest hurt.

“I like you.” Sitting up, I took the phone off the speaker holding it to my ear. “I don’t know what I’m saying, but I was thinking about you too, and then you had said – I just like you, okay.”

Laughing, I threw my head back causing my body to follow as I flopped back onto my pillows. The smile that had stretched itself across my face wasn’t leaving any time soon, and I know knew what Jinhwan meant. I was hopelessly in love with someone I had fell for at first sight. My head went from swimming to being on cloud nine and the pain in my chest because full-blown hard thumps that kept me laughing.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” A small gasp had left his lips forcing my smile to become even bigger – if that was even possible.

“Nothing, why?” Staring at my ceiling, I thought on what to say but it was hard to try and think on it, so I might as well just say what I feel.

“I miss you. Let’s go on a date?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I remembered that I was broker than broke but I could still make it work.

“Okay, just text me a time and I’ll be sure to make time for you.” Shaking my head, I ran my fingers through my hair messing it up even more than it already was.

“Goodnight, Yunhyeong.” His reply was quiet almost as if he was afraid to say it.

Hanging up, I reached over my bed for my charger and grabbing it I turn around only to see that he had sent me a message. Opening it, I found a photo of him giving me a heart and out of my own creepiness, I set the photo as my lock screen not caring to hear what Bobby and Jinhwan would say when they saw it. I was going on my first date with my first lover. I was more than ecstatic.


	3. TODAY = DAY 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why do you look prettier today?" - iKON
> 
> "It's day 1 from today..." - K.Will

Nervousness had set in once more and the two people who I called my best friends were laughing at me from my couch. I ran around the kitchen like a chicken with my head cut off trying to pack this last minute lunch because I jumped up this morning thinking of going on a picnic. What was I thinking, right? Exactly my thought because I didn’t know how to really cook and these gimbap rolls didn’t look anything like gimbap. Groaning, I took off my snapback ruffling my hair before putting it back on as I needed a new plan, but I was pressed for time and I needed to be there before him.

“Why don’t you just make some sandwiches?” Staring at Bobby, his idea was great but like I said I couldn’t cook, and if something as easy as gimbap looked anything but that, then the sandwiches wouldn’t come out good either. “Ugh, you’re hopeless.”

The both of them stood coming into the kitchen as I told me to sit at the table and do something with myself. Nodding, I kept my hands tightly tucked in between my legs while staring at the time on my phone wondering if I should reschedule for an hour later. Or I could go pick him up? Yeah, I’ll just pick him up and we can ride my bike over to the park. Texting him, he sent me a photo of him smiling as he winked – I’m having a heart attack – he was dressed better than I was causing me to wonder if I should change.

“Should I change?” They turned looking me over before shaking their heads and going back to the food that I had destroyed.

“It’s very you, so you shouldn’t try too hard.” Agreeing, I took a deep breath focusing back on the photo that I would soon make my home screen – sorry, Bobby and Jinhwan, but our group photo has lost its spot.

“You’re such a creep that it isn’t even funny.” Rolling my eyes, I clicked off my phone to stare at my lock screen that I had set no more than 10 hours ago.

“What about you?” He flinched before putting his hands up as I saw him staring at Donghyuk more than a few times and it wasn’t even his face. “Should I bring some food to give to Chanwoo, too?”

“Why would you do that?” Even I didn’t know but the idea had just entered my head. “I know you want to get along well with the family and all, but please don’t try too hard.”

“Fine, I’ll stop and only focus on him.” They both huffed in relief leaving me to worry about my hands as they finished cooking.

When they had packed everything up, I thanked them before kicking them out as I didn’t need them snooping or anything – it was the only thing they were good at. Grabbing my bike, I wheeled it out into the hallway with us and onto the elevator listening as they were staring to act like my parents. Talking about not having too much fun and be home by a certain time, like I know what I’m doing; plus, I don’t have curfew, so I can go home whenever I wanted to. Making it outside, they skipped off saying that if I need anything that they’d be at Jinhwan’s place. Waving them off, I headed towards his building only to see that he was already outside, and as he walked, fast, towards me I stopped getting on my bike.

“Handlebars or back pegs?” He chose the pegs this time causing his hands to squeeze my shoulders. “I’ll be careful.”

Pushing off, I peddled slower than normal taking in the warm air that welcomed us. He let one hand go putting it out to his side feeling the air on his fingers causing me to peddle a little faster so that he could get the full affect. The park wasn’t really all that far seeing as how it was in the same area as the skate park, but I took the long way not wanting his hands to leave my shoulders just yet. Riding onto the sidewalk, I rode past others apologizing to the few who I almost ran into and pulling up to a bench that was shaded by a tree, I screeched to a stop causing his arms to wrap around my neck as his body was fully pressed into me.

“Yah! I thought you said that you’d be careful.” Hoping off, he smacked my shoulder causing me to laugh as the stop was supposed to be smoother.

Walking my bike towards the tree, I leaned it against it before sitting down next to him, untangling the bag that held our food from my wrist. It was bright red from the strap as the wind forced it to twist until it was tight, but I didn’t mind all that much. Turning a little, I laid the food out in front of us, and it looked better than the mess that I had tried to make.

“You made all this?” Shrugging, I did start it off but when it came to actually finishing it and making it look good then, no. “I’ll enjoy the meal!”

Clapping his hands together, I followed after him handing him half of the only sandwich that Bobby made as Jinhwan had fixed the gimbap. Waiting, I watched as he bit into it causing a satisfied noise to fall from his nose as he began to talk about how good it was. My laughter was nervous-like as I bit into my half nodding in satisfaction because I never knew Bobby was so good at making sandwiches. Half-way through my sandwich, I dug into the bag grabbing his can of Pepsi and handing it to him he thanked me while opening it. Crumbs littered his face and even though it was unnatural of me, I reached out wiping them away and pulling away his eyes were wide in surprise.

“Why am I like this today?” Whispering the words to myself, I couldn’t help the mysterious feeling that I had identified only yesterday as it poked at my heart.

“What are we doing next?” He continued to eat even though I was clearly freaking out because I was being weird. “Hanbin? Hanbin?!”

“Huh? Uh, what do you want to do?” He held out a piece of gimbap and leaning over I took it straight from his fingers.

“Let’s go play on the playground! I haven’t played at one in forever.” Nodding, I laughed at the child that had come out of him – it was cute, like him.

We finished eating and packing up, I tied the bag to the handlebars of my bike before pushing it alongside of us as we went towards the playground that not many children were at today. They must have weekend classes. Leaning my bike against another tree, I didn’t want anyone to steal it while we were having fun. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me towards the empty swings and sitting down next to the one he took, we both took the same number of steps back before letting go.

“I bet I can go higher than you.” Raising my eyebrow, I laughed at his challenge because I was sure to win.

“Bet!” Swinging my body weight forward, he followed until the chains were shaking from the speed we were going at. “I win!”

“Liar! I won!” We spoke while passing one another causing me to let go as I jumped off landing over the small bar that kids jumped over or something. “HA! I’m going higher than you!”

Shaking my head, he slowed down a little and getting behind him I began to push him liking the feeling of his weight in my hands. Once he had enough momentum with that, I ran back in front taking out my phone so that I could capture this moment. His smile was child-like as he waved at me behind the lens of my camera and snapping it I couldn’t help but wonder how he could look even better than he did every other day. Taking a few more pictures, he jumped off tumbling into me as he couldn’t fully stop himself.

“You remind me of Bambi.” His face scrunched up already knowing that he had got my meaning.

“Well, you were the one who was tripping over his bike every time we met.” Agreeing, I couldn’t help it as his small touches left my stomach twisting up (in a good way).

“Should we sit for a minute?” I was in the lead this time as I took him to another bench, and pushing him to sit I laid down placing my head in his lap. “Your thighs are comfortable.”

“Thanks?” Everything felt natural as he took off my snapback running his fingers through my hair in such a soothing way that I almost fell asleep.

A lot of time passed like that with him running his fingers in my hair, my eyes closed and whole body relaxed. It wasn’t until he tapped me saying that he should be getting home. Sighing, I sat up rubbing my face of the sleep that was trying to force its way inside of my eyes.

“Since you’re tired, I’ll ride the bike.” Nodding, I watched as he got on riding only a few feet ahead of me before stopping to turn back with a smile.

Jogging a little, I caught up with him liking how he did circles around me while gently calling my name. Calling his back, we continued to do that until we got closer to our homes only to stop and go the rest of the way in this comfortable silence. He was practically walking the bike as he sat on it and placing my hand on the handlebar, I stopped him as we made it to his building. Getting off, he huffed a little while fixing his clothes causing me to look elsewhere as I didn’t want to be creepy by staring at him like that. I want my thoughts to say pure for as long as they can.

“Hanbin,” Turning, his lips crashed onto mine rendering me speechless as he pulled away his smile even bigger than before. “This makes today Day 1!”

Running off, I thought of falling out on the ground but thought against it as the ground was dirty, so going home I fell out on my bed. Screaming, I couldn’t believe that I had my first kiss and first date all on the same day! My door flew open causing me to jump only to see my dad as he told me to shut up because I was being too loud. Apologizing, I laid down putting a pillow over my face so that I could scream into it. Today is Day 1.


	4. COMPLEX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want to be taller than your tall ex-boyfriends..." - Zion.T

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ex is a real-life model, just in case anyone wanted to know.

Three months had passed since our first date and we’ve been going strong and smooth. Our friends tend to poke fun at us a lot, but why wouldn’t they when we’re one of the best looking couples ever.

Graduation was right around the corner and we were now out shopping for outfits. I didn’t really understand it but he said that we should at least look good after changing out of our uniforms. Nodding, I went along with whatever he said because I just wanted to see him trying on different outfits while modeling them for me. Ugh, I was a creep. Smiling, I had my arm around his shoulder leaning on him a little as we stood in front of a rack of slacks looking at each color and size.

“I think this one will look good on you.” Turning to face me, he held the pants at my waist causing us both to look down as they were a little short. “Why are you tall and skinny? I guess, you can get them tailored.”

“Genetics?” Laughing, he shook his head turning back to the rack to look for a different pair that was actually my length.

“Yunhyeong?” We both froze looking over and up to see this tall, buffer than me, guy who was extremely handsome. “Oh, it is you. How have you been?”

“I’ve been good, Hyung. How about you?” They talked back and forth for a while completely ignoring my existence until I cleared my throat catching both of their attention. “Hyung, this is Hanbin, my boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you.” He held back his laughter causing me to look around as I couldn’t figure out what the joke was. “I’ll see you around, Yunhyeong.”

Watching him leave was like watching a model exit a runway and it pissed me off. Looking at Yun, he shrugged going back to the clothing but you couldn’t just brush that off like that. He was clearly laughing when you introduced me as your boyfriend. Does he know something I don’t know?

“Who was that?” Clenching my teeth together, I held a smile causing him to glance back at me noticing that my eye was twitching.

“Oh, my ex. His name is Jo Geunhyeong and he graduated two years ago.” My mouth dropped open because how can he go from that to me, and to say that I’m his type, the lies! “He hit a growth spurt and started working out when we were dating, if you were wondering. The tattoos are new but they look good, don’t they?”

“Yeah.” My spirit was crushed, now; how could he lower the bar that much?

Finishing our little shopping trip, we held hands making our way to the bus stop so that we could get home, well it was more so to Bobby’s place than actual home. Everyone was meeting up over there for pizza and a movie – a non-scary movie, as I had to force the other to change it, twice. When the bus came we rushed on and telling him to sit with the bags, I held the handle next to his seat momentarily forgetting the fact that my self-esteem had hit the floor only moments before. He kept poking my leg causing me to jump around as I told him to stop which garnered a few stares from those around us.

“Hanbin?” Looking at him, he took my free hand in his fingers swinging it around. “Thank you.”

“For?” Using his head, he glanced down at the bags causing me to nod before staring at my reflection in the slightly tinted bus window.

The bus pulled up to a stop that wasn’t ours and as other people got on and off the bus had started to become crowded, so taking a few steps forward I was pressed into his side a little more. Sighing, I rolled my neck a little catching a glimpse of the people who stood behind me and they all looked similar to his ex. Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t believe that I was acting like this – I’m with him now so what does it matter. Right? Wrong! They all look so much better than me and anyone could see that. One of them accidently bumped into me causing them to apologize but I ignored it instead watching as he accepted it saying that it was no big deal.

Getting off when our stop came, I held the bags leaving his hands empty for him to skip around me with a smile on his face. He must find this funny. Biting my cheek, I tried to hide the frown on my face but it was hard to do that when we were getting closer and closer to our destination. Entering the building, we rode the elevator in silence, well I was silent while he was jumping around – it was his first time here. Exiting on his floor, I greeted his parents who walked past us telling us not to make too much of a mess. They must be going on a date or something. Telling him the apartment number, he ran down the hall knocking on it smile still in place.

“Hurry up, loser!” Bobby’s head peeked from around the entryway causing me to sigh as I picked up speed a little. “Did you buy me something?”

“No, we were out shopping before you had the great idea to change the time for us to come over.” Huffing, I sat the bags down by the door finally giving my hands a rest – why were those bags so heavy?

“Well, my parents suddenly said they were going on a date, so I picked out another movie.” Shaking my head, I went to plop down on the floor in front of the couch. “Which one first?! I have a sad movie, a comedy, and some random one I picked last minute.”

Everyone started shouting for what they wanted but I sat back watching them with a smile as any movie was fine with me. After settling on the first movie which was the comedy, they said for the sad one to go last, so the random one was in the middle. Clicking on the movie, I watched as that little ball with the smiling face jumped around a box before going inside of it as the words ‘SHOWBOX’ radiated through the whole house. Jinhwan brought over the pizza sitting it on a small table in front of the couch making it so that everyone could reach it. My legs were open with my knees propped up and I guess that meant that it was a seat because Yunhyeong came flopping down in the space.

“Ew! Get a room!” Donghyuk voice was loud causing the others to join in but when we looked over they were all a little too close to one another.

“Oh, where’s Chanwoo?” The younger didn’t seem to be here which had everyone shrugging besides Yunhyeong.

“He’s probably playing videos games with Jaewon.” The conversation died out there as the characters had finally started talking.

The pizza was gone by the time that the first movie ended leaving us all to groan as hunger was still eating at us. We decided that the other two movies could wait, and getting ourselves together, we headed out to find some cheap restaurant to eat at. There were a lot around here – well they were cheap to us as we knew the people well. Walking around, I listened as they argued on what to eat and I would have joined in if my mind was elsewhere. Some older guy had passed by us with a sleeveless shirt that showed off this amazing body that he had underneath. Gawking, I touched my body to feel the flat and undefined stomach that laid under my shirt, and my arms were a little scrawny as the muscle wasn’t all that nor did I have the veins that his ex’s arms had.

“Should I start working out?” I said it to no one in general, but Junhoe came up poking me only to nod.

“You should at least make up for your lack of looks. So working out will give you something worth looking at.” Scoffing, I couldn’t believe that he had just called me ugly without actually saying it.

“Stop, June. I think Hanbin is handsome the way he is, so don’t go being an asshole.” Junhoe rolled his eyes before catching up with Jinhwan who was talking animatedly with Donghyuk and Bobby. “Where is this coming from? Just yesterday you were saying that I was thankful for having to fall in love with such a handsome and well-built guy.”

“Uh, well -,” My words were stuck in my throat as he stopped me on the side of the road.

“Is this about Geunhyeong Hyung?” Whistling a little, I tilted my head not thinking that he would put two and two together so quickly. “Well, you’re better than him and every way. Just because he has muscles, tattoos, and a handsome face doesn’t mean anything. His personality went to shit and he was an overall asshole to me. He felt that because his looks had improved that he could do anything he wanted and treat me however, so don’t worry about him and just be yourself, okay?”

“O-Okay.” Taking my hand, he pulled me into the restaurant that the others had entered.

“Did you get scolded? What did you do? Huh? Huh?” Pushing Bobby’s face away, I took my seat opposite from him wondering when he had become so nosy. “What did he do, Yunhyeong?”

“Nothing.” Bobby frowned slouching in his chair at the fact that he wouldn’t be getting more out of either of us. “Bobby, how are you and Donghyuk?”

Donghyuk was coughing hard at the question causing an uproar of laughter to come from the rest of us as they wouldn’t even look at each other. Ordering food, it was brought to us rather quickly and while eating the normal atmosphere returned to us. He was right, I should only worry about being myself and no one else. Grabbing his hand, we held them under the table not wanting Bobby or Junhoe to become loud enough that they realize and point it out.

I’ll only do things to better myself and our relationship.


	5. When I'm with you...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When I'm with you I'm like an excited kid...  
> When I'm with you my heart flutters so much." - Park Kyung ft. Brother Su

We graduated without a problem; there shouldn’t have been a problem - we just graduated. That was also the first time we met one another’s parents and that went extremely well. His parents invited me to eat dinner with them the day after seeing as how I ate with my parents that night, and agreeing, I was slowly securing my spot in the family.

It has been a few days since the dinner and we were now worried about our future – he’s more worried than I am. I don’t really know what I want to do but I know college isn’t for me. I hate school with a burning passion as I’m horrible at studying, so when I was asked I quickly cancelled that idea. Maybe I’ll do my two years in the military then join the police force. That seems like the best plan for right now. Recently, even though he said that I didn’t need too, I began working out as I was tired of looking sickly. And at this very moment, that is what I’m doing as he lays sprawled out over my bed shaking his head at me.

“It’s the first time I’m over here and all you’re doing is working out?” I was in the middle of a push-up, so pushing up I turned to look at him before bringing myself back down.

“Let me get this out of the way, then I’ll give you as much attention as you want, okay? 57!” Coming back up, I was sweating like crazy but the burn was nice and it made me feel as if I did something.

“Did you decide on what you’re going to do? Because I’m leaving for college in a few months.” His hand came down smacking my bare back causing me to lose my concentration, and fall onto the floor. “You can always do late enrollment.”

“Nah, college isn’t for me. I think I’m just going to become a police officer.” Turning around, I started to do sit-ups seeing as how my push-ups were cut short. “What are you going to college for anyway?”

“Nursing. I want to help people.” Coming up, I grabbed his arm pulling him off the bed and on top of me, laughing as he hit his elbow on the edge of the bed. “What was that for?”

“Well, since you want to help people, help me workout.” He nodded with his normal smile causing me to think that he was actually going to help, but I was surely wrong.

He started slapping my stomach and chest telling me to work out faster or else he was going to go home and tell

 his parents that I was neglecting him. Shaking my head, I finally stopped as his hits were starting to hurt – they were turning my chest red from the force. Leaning against the side of my bed, I held my chest exaggerating my pain just wanting to see what he was going to do.

“D-Does it really hurt that bad?” Nodding, I pouted acting as if I was going to cry. “Let me see.”

Rolling over, I still held my chest causing him to force my hands away and he did the exact opposite of what I thought he was going to do. He laid on my chest hugging me tightly, and here I’m thinking that he was going to blow on it or kiss it better.

“Is that all?” Sitting up, he raised his hand about to slap a red area again. “I apologize for my words.”

“Pervert.” Taking his hand in my own, I kissed it liking the way how he squirmed before giggling only to pull it away with a pout on his lips. “Oh! I forgot. Today is our 100th day, so what do you want to do?”

The world had seemed to stop as I had totally forgot about that. To be honest, it wasn’t even a thought until now and I don’t want him to be disappointed in the fact that I forgot. Think, Hanbin, think! I should do something above my normal budget because picnics are nice but he must be tired of eating in the park all the time. Ramen? No, that’s still too cheap.

“Let’s go see a movie.” He nodded smiling and I couldn’t help but look away as I didn’t even know how much money I had in my wallet at the moment.

The front door opened making us both scramble to stand as we peeked outside of my room to see my dad. He waved us out and walking towards him, he gave us each a piece of candy as if we were children. Yunhyeong, the nice person that he is, thanked him with a wide smile before popping it in his mouth saying that it was good. And my dad being the sucker for cute things that he is, melted a little while digging around for more. They were a match made in heaven if I had to say so myself. After finding more candy, he gave it to Yunhyeong, who ran into my room saying that he wasn’t going to share any with me. Shaking my head, I pulled my dad in asking for money and after being questioned to death, he finally gave it to me before leaving saying that he only stopped by to get a file for work. I was now 50 dollars richer.

“What movie should we see?” Jumping, I didn’t realize that he had entered the area once more. “I’m thinking something cheesy. How about you?”

“Uh, since I’m treating you, it’ll be a surprise, okay?” He looked skeptical of whatever my choice was going to be as he knew that I liked horror, thriller, and action movies while he like rom-com, comedy, and sad movies. “I promise it’ll be a good choice.”

“I’ll kill you, if it’s a horror movie.” Shaking my head, I ‘pffted’ him as he just chose the movie we were going to see – I just want to see his reaction.

“You should go dress up a little more.” Looking down at himself, he actually wasn’t undressed or anything but I just wanted to have enough privacy to see what horror movies were playing. “We’ll go eat after.”

“Oh, okay.” Walking him to the front door, he glared at me a little and I couldn’t help but wonder if he caught on. “Text me when to come out.”

Nodding, I watched as he got on the elevator, glare still in place but it softened up a little. Once the doors closed, I slammed my own running into my room and starting the computer up. While it started up, I began to dig through my closet and drawers looking for something to wear because he was also probably tired of seeing me in a snapback and hoodie. I’ll still wear a jacket seeing as how it gets cold in the movie theaters. Picking out the whole outfit, I looked it over a few times changing what didn’t look good, or didn’t go well, before deciding on a white shirt, a light denim jacket, and dark wash jeans with my normal jewelry.

Laying it out on my bed, I jumped into my computer chair searching for the movies that we playing at the movie theater. They all popped up fast and choosing the scariest looking one, I found a decent time which meant that we’ll have to leave in an hour to make it. Texting him to be ready in an hour, I took a quick shower before changing and gelling my hair up and back liking the height and how it framed my face.

“I can’t believe Yunhyeong fell in love with such a handsome being as myself.” Checking myself out, I danced a little liking the look a lot more than I thought I would.

Looking in my wallet, I saw a few bills in there which meant that I was going all out today. I’m proud of myself. Picking out my shoes took longer than I thought it would because there was something wrong with every pair once I put them on. Finally slipping my feet into some white vans, I ran out the door not wanting to be late – which was kind of impossible as his building was right across the street. Making it outside, I leaned against the wall of his gate trying to find a pose that made me look cooler than I already am.

“What the hell are you doing?” I had my hand behind my head leaning my side on the wall with my ankles crossed. “You look stupid.”

His laughter was so loud that I’m sure the neighbors would have complained if we were inside. Grumbling, I stood up straight fixing my clothes trying to act as if that didn’t just happen.

“But it was a cute stupid. Do it again, I want to take a picture.” Squinting at him, I slowly got back in position but this time I made it look better than before. “Woah, I’m dating a model because damn.”

“You really know how to make someone feel special.” Wiping away imaginary tears, I threw my arm over his shoulder walking us towards the bus stop. “Where do you want to eat after?”

“Are we getting snacks at the movies?” Shrugging, it was really up to him as I was rolling in money at the moment. “If we do, then we should get something light; but if we don’t, then probably something heavy.”

“What?” I was confused causing him to shake his head before calling me an idiot.

“Something light – like a sub, and something heavy – like fried chicken, I guess. I don’t really know if they’re accurate examples, but you get what I’m saying, right?” Nodding as to not annoy him because I still had no idea what he was talking about. “No you don’t, but it’s fine.”

I dropped the conversation, more than glad that the bus had finally arrived. Getting on, we rushed to get a two-person seat so that we could sit together and putting him in the inner seat I took the outer one. You never know; people are crazy nowadays and I would rather get hurt than him. Staring out the window, together, we had started a game of finding weird colored cars as there aren’t that many people who buy a car that isn’t black, white, dark blue, or beige. There aren’t even that many red cars because people who usually have them are rich in a way – it’s normally a red sports car.

“I can’t wait to get a car.” The thought was meant to stay in my head but I had accidently said it out loud.

“I want to be the first person to ride in it when you get it, okay?” Smiling, we pinky promised one another before going back to our game which we both lost.

The walk from the bus stop to the movie theater wasn’t far but seeing as how we had more than enough time we decided to walk slow as if it was far. Heading inside, I told him to wait by the concession stand while I got the tickets. Buying them, I had to hid my mischievous smile not wanting him to know what I had just done. I allowed him to pick out the snacks before guiding him towards our theater taking notice of how he looked at all the signs that said what was playing in that room. He started to drag his feet the closer we got but I clearly had more strength than him, so dragging him along was easy. Grabbing seats at the top, I forced him into the seat with a smile before getting comfortable in the seat liking how the theater was filling quickly. He now had no chance of escaping unless he wanted to hear other people complain.

“We’re so over.” Laughing, I took the popcorn from his lap popping a few pieces into my mouth ignoring the rest of his curses.

Dimmed lights and a bright screen now greeted us. Biting my lip, I was purely concentrated on the movie and it wasn’t until a jump scare that I remember that Yunhyeong was with me. His whole chair shook as he curled into himself covering his ears repeatedly whispering ‘no’ and that ‘it wasn’t real’. Elbowing him, he jumped again before our eyes met and noticing the tears that were in his I felt bad. The movie wasn’t even all that scary and the plot was something that was non-believable but with him taking it to heart like this I knew he was going to flip on me once we left. As the end of the movie came, more jump scares and loud sounds started, and he was practically in my lap crying and begging me to leave. Patting his arm, I covered my mouth not wanting to let him know that I was dying of laughter at this whole situation.

“That wasn’t even scary.” The voice of a girl a few seats down said loudly once the movie ended causing me to cough as he rushed to leave the theater.

Making it outside, I tried to stop him from going too far, and having chased him from our seats to where we are now I knew he had a few more miles left in him. Grabbing his arm, I pulled him towards me and wrapping my arms around him, his head laid in the crook of my neck as he sobbed loudly.

“I hate you. Why would you do that when I told you that I didn’t want to watch anything scary?!” He started to punch me trying to break my hug but I only held on tighter.

“I’m sorry, okay? I just wanted to see why you hated it so much. I wouldn’t have if I knew that you were going to cry.” He punched me harder than before finally hearing the laughter in my voice because the situation was unimaginable. “I’m serious this time, I’m truly sorry.”

Holding my stomach, I couldn’t believe that his hits earlier were practically tickles to this. Walking away from me, I followed after him trying to hold in my pain as I should do more ab work outs – maybe I can get him to hit my stomach while I work out. I think I saw it somewhere on the internet. Calling his name, he kept walking before entering a fast-food place and going right in after him, I stood next to him in line wanting to see what he would order.

“Are you still mad at me?” Wiping his tears harshly, I got the memo that he was indeed very mad at me. “W-What are you going to get?”

Completely ignoring me, he began to order his food and if I hadn’t jumped in last minute then I probably wouldn’t be eating with him. Paying for it, he went to get a table – he just walked away but I’m just going to say that he got a table – while I waited for our order to be called. When it was, I took the tray walking over to the window that he sat by and sitting down I looked him over to see that he looked more sad than mad.

“Forgive me? Please!” Giving him my best puppy-eyed look, he snorted before grabbing his burger acting as if he didn’t just give me a reaction. “You can do whatever you want to do to me, okay? I’ll even stand in the street and scream whatever you want me to.”

His eyebrow raised at my words causing him to pull out his phone, fingers moving fast. Sitting it down, he waited for it to go through and pulling out my own phone I unlocked it to see the message that he sent me. Without hesitation, I stood heading outside of the building and in front of the window where he was seated. Clearing my throat, he had his phone out recording me and sucking in a deep breath, I put my hands around my mouth to make my voice even louder.

“I’M AN ASSHOLE,” Screaming, he laughed while covering his mouth but I wasn’t done. “WHO IS FALLING DEEPER IN LOVE WITH THE CUTE PERSON IN THE WINDOW RECORDING ME!”

Eyes quickly turned to him causing him to fumble with his phone, dropping it in shock from me outing him. Jogging back inside, I took my seat grabbing my burger and unraveling it, I bite into it with a smile. Covering the side of his face, he kicked me asking why I did that but I shrugged as I was telling nothing but the truth. I had fallen into the pit of youthful love, and seeing as how I’m falling hard, he’ll have to go down with me. We ate quickly, more like I tried to keep up with him, and leaving the fast food place we decided to walk around taking in the night sky.

“That’s cute, isn’t it?” Walking past a shop, it held things in the windows with customized pictures on them.

“Yeah, it is.” A thought had entered my head, but I would act on it later because then I could use my dad’s card. “Let’s take a picture.”

He was quick to run to a nice spot that had good lightening and sitting next to him, he moved me around until his back was pressed flat against my chest. My heart was beating like crazy - it was always like this whenever he did anything like this. Staring down at him, he was trying out different poses, snapping away, and wrapping my arms around him tightly I placed a small almost non-existent kiss into his neck.

“When I’m with you, I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve and you’re the one present that I’ve been dying to get.” That was extremely poetic if I do say so myself, I’ll have to rub that in Junhoe’s face later.

“You’re so cheesy!” Looking up at me, I took his face in my hands kissing his forehead before patting his arm to stand as I didn’t need Chanwoo blowing up my phone. “But I like it.”

The bus ride and walk to his home was warmer than it had ever been, and I was on cloud nine. Standing against the wall that I had so foolishly posed myself against hours earlier, I didn’t know what to do with myself. He stared up at me with these pretty eyes that made my feet want to dance but I stopped myself not wanting to seem creepy.

“Y-Yunhyeong?” Blinking once, twice, three times, I couldn’t hold myself back anymore and leaning down I captured his lips in mine slowly kissing him.

His back was flush against the wall with his hands tugging on my jacket while I devoured his mouth tasting the sprite that he drunk to wash away the burger he ate. Smiling into it, we were forced apart by a car driving by as it honked loudly at us. Apologizing, he hid his face in my jacket laughing loud and hard causing both of our bodies to shake from the force. Placing one last kiss on his lips, I ushered him inside the gate not wanting him to get in trouble for being out so late. Watching him enter the building, I ran all the way home tripping over my own feet in pure happiness at the fact that this relationship was going so well.

“How did it go?” I was practically jumping towards my room when my dad’s voice had me slipping and falling to the ground. “I’m guessing, well.”

“Y-Yeah.” Shaking his head at me, I crawled the rest of the way to my room ready to jump around on my bed screaming in joy.

Laying down, my phone lit up with a message and checking it, I saw that it was the photos from our date. I’m going to get them printed on a bunch of stuff, so that if he ever tries to bring someone else home they’ll see my face everywhere. Ugh, why was he so cute?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know the next few chapters will be spread out over the two years of mandatory military service, so there isn't going to be a lot of details so to say. Also, a lot of time skipping.


	6. Wait for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, you and me, we're under the same sky but we can't meet.  
> But believe in me, I'll be there for you." - iKON (Team B)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I was going in order of debut till now, but I needed a song for this chapter and decided why not go back to pre-debut days. Anyways, enjoy.

Everyone seemed to be on my ass about deciding my future, so with a little pressure I enlisted knowing that it’s better to just get it out of the way. But I couldn’t help but feel as if they knew I was coming because the moment I signed my name they had already given me my date with a smile. Seeing as how my sides were already shaved, I only had to cut the top off and I’m not going to lie I cried a little watching my hair fall onto the apron that covered me. After the cut, Bobby took to rubbing my head for good luck saying that he needed it for when he asked Donghyuk out on a date – like they aren’t already… never mind.

They decided to throw me an enlistment party. It’s a little suspicious how eager they are to get rid of me, even my parents joined in on the planning. Rude, and it always will be. Yawning, I sat on the couch stretching a little looking over my friends as they were sprawled out across the living room being rowdy. The “party” had started only an hour ago and the excitement had already died out a little. My mom was in the kitchen cooking with Yunhyeong’s help while my dad was next to me arguing with Bobby about some sport.

“Don’t look so bored. I spent a lot on those balloons.” Scoffing, I couldn’t believe that Jinhwan had actually brought balloons – he’s cheaper than I am.

“I’m not bored, it’s just that we aren’t really doing anything.” They could at least turn on music and dance or something instead of just sitting around like we always do.

“That’s being bored, but I’ll help you. DANCE PARTY!” Connecting his phone to the wireless speaker, today’s top hits blasted through it causing him to stand as he started to dance.

Soon almost everyone had joined in showing off their moves, even my dad was getting down. Laughing, I watched enjoying the dance battle that had soon started from pure competitiveness. They had broken off into teams with my dad leading one and Jinhwan leading the other. I was in charge of music seeing as how I wasn’t really in the mood to sweat at the moment. Changing the song to a more upbeat one, my dad’s team went first as Bobby jumped over his shoulders only to dougie and hit whatever old popular dance he could think of. Donghyuk, who was on Jinhwan’s team, went next actually showing off dance moves for the song that was playing. Chanwoo, Junhoe, my dad, then Jinhwan followed doing their best moves before group dancing started and all I could say was to be careful with the floor as I’m sure our downstairs neighbors were throwing a fit right now.

“This seems fun. Why aren’t you joining in Hanbin?” Glancing over, my mom stood next to the couch clapping along to the beat of the music.

“A little tired, but I’ll soon become energized, so don’t worry.” She nodded before heading back into the kitchen.

Once they tired themselves out, we had brought out the board games which I was quick to join in on – I like board games. We played until we were called for dinner, but even then it was hard to walk away. Moving the game, we sat out the long table and filling it with food, we all thanked my mom and Yunhyeong for the food before digging in.

“So, Yunhyeong are you going to dump this loser and get with someone hotter?” The fork in my hand fell, hitting my plate before bouncing off and onto the table.

“June!” Stuff went flying at him as he tried to dodge it laughing the whole time.

“So, Jinhwan when are you going to kick him to the curb and get with someone hotter?” At least Bobby was finally on my side.

“Don’t worry, I already have another guy on the way. He’s way taller and hotter, not to mention -,” Tilting his head we groaned at the meaning and I was just glad that my parents were confused.

“YAH! How dare you?!” They started to argue over the food causing me to go back to mine as my stomach started to growl.

Bobby, Donghyuk, and Chanwoo joined in on the arguing saying some crazy things that had my parents gasping but they didn’t even try to stop it – it was pretty funny. The non-almost-couples arguing went on for a while which proved us some dinner entertainment, while the couples sat back listening and eating as if this was normal.

“You got something on your face.” His fingers brushed the side of my mouth getting rid of whatever had stained it. “There.”

“GET A ROOM!” They whole table now turned on us causing me to throw my arm over his shoulder pulling him into me.

“Don’t try and taint our pure love with your dirt. We know what you guys do behind closed doors *cough Junhoe cough Jinhwan cough*.” Calling out the two who didn’t know what they wanted to be, they both blushed quickly going back to their food.

After that eventful dinner, we wrapped up the game with me winning and then everyone was on their way. Chanwoo and Yunhyeong stayed behind to help clean up the mess as they lived right across the street. My parents had gone to bed seeing as how they had to get up early for work, so it was only the three of us standing in a confusion of balloons and fallen party streamers.

“Oh, I got a text from Jaewon, so I’m leaving.” My mouth fell open in surprise as he ran out of here faster than I have ever seen him run.

“I guess it’s only us.” Nodding, I went to grab the broom still confused on what to do with these balloons – I can’t pop them with my parents being asleep. “I’ll get scissors and we can let the air out slowly.”

Well that was better than my idea; I was going to just kick them in my room. Telling him what drawer they were in, I swept them into a pile in the middle kicking a few of the stray ones before actually sweeping the floor. I moped after knowing that I could just vacuum in the morning once they were gone, and once I was done with that I sat down on the floor watching him pop the balloons as I didn’t want to wrestle with the dishes. The sink was overflowing, and it’s clear that they did this on purpose.

“Are you going to wait for me?” Leaning on the couch, my head rested on the cushion, not being able to take my eyes off of him.

“Of course. How is that even a question in your mind?” Holding a balloon close to my face, he released it causing the air to hit it while it deflated. “The real question is, are you going to wait for me? I know how some guys get when they join the military and if you’re going to cheat, then we can just break up now.”

“I would never.” To be fully honest, the thought has never once crossed my mind. “And, you?”

“College does get crazy.” Kicking him, he laughed while shaking his head, the last balloon clutched tightly between his fingers. “No, I wouldn’t. I’ll fight everyone off saying that my boyfriend is in the army and will beat them up.”

Smiling, I nodded already content with his answer because as long as he’s willing to wait then I’ll try my hardest.

The day was finally here and I was nervous with the fact that I didn’t know what to expect. The whole gang was here making this half-circle around me as they were looking around with wide-eyes at the other soldiers. Some were crying, other putting on tough acts, and I seemed to be the only one who looked as if I didn’t know what I had gotten myself into. Sighing, I took off my snapback playing with it in between my fingers.

“Don’t tell me your nervous?” Bobby and his loud mouth was always drawing unwanted attention. “Don’t cry, Hanbin. We’ll cheer you on from out here.”

Punching his shoulder, he shut up finally realizing that now wasn’t the time to be cracking jokes. The siren went off calling for us, so hugging everyone I lingered a little longer on Yunhyeong. I know, I should have given all my love to my parents but they’ve been clinging to me since after the party, and that was a week ago. Placing my snapback on his head, I patted his cheek before running off only to look back and wave at everyone.

We stood in a large group inside the gate, all of us looking around at one another. Sighing, again, I pulled on my duffel trying to distract myself from the murmurs of those around me. They started calling names and telling us where to go, and soon we were in groups of at least 12 or 14. Our instructor looked mean, and the moment he opened his mouth that was confirmed as he started yelling at us from the first word in his little speech. This was going to be a long two years.


	7. WHAT'S WRONG?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's wrong? What did I wrong? Tell me, what's wrong this time? Like a habit, you say forget it. What do you mean forget it?" - iKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added Winner members to make them have more friends; other idols will be added later, as well.

Winter was now upon us and school was to get out for the Christmas Break. The time we got out was more than enough, but I wasn’t all that excited for it seeing as how I’d be spending it with my parents like how I do every year.

The professor dismissed the lecture telling us to enjoy our break causing me to stand while packing my books in my bag. I made a few new friends in the short amount of time that I was here, nothing beat my gang though. Jinhwan and Donghyuk ended up taking a Business Major, Junhoe was a Music Major, and Bobby was an Arts Major, which meant that I was the only one on this side of the college. Walking out of class, Jinwoo, one of my new friends, joined me as our dorm rooms were in the same building – we were on different floors, though.

“What did you make on your final?” Sighing, I couldn’t help but shake my head at the paper that was burning a hole in one of my folders.

“C+, it could have been higher if I memorized my terms better. How about you?” He sighed this time causing me to wonder if his grade was lower than mine.

“Same. I only did bad on the procedure portion.” Nodding, I struggled with that a little when I was studying. “Ugh, break is going to be wonderful. I can finally go home and stretch myself out on my full size bed. Those twin beds don’t give me enough space.”

Laughing, I agreed as you become so used to something that once you down-size it’s hard to get used to it. Making it to the top of the streets that lead towards the dorms, I noticed a familiar figure that stood out way too much for him to be a student. Rolling my eyes, I tugged on my hat a little hoping to walk past him without him noticing me but that proven to be impossible.

“Yunhyeong!” Flinching, his voice was so loud that it caused others to turn and look at us, whispering as they walked away. “Are you really going to keep walking?”

Grabbing Jinwoo’s arm, I rushed him down the stairs not wanting to talk to the other. He didn’t seem to know my phone number or how to reply to my letters, so why should I give him any of my time? Getting down the steps, my arm was grabbed causing me to almost fall but he had saved me by pulling me back.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He nodded waving as he headed left and now it was only the two of us surrounded by a thousand onlooking students. “What do you want?”

Snatching my arm back, I moved out of his embrace to turn and look at him, he lost a lot of weight in his face since the last time we saw each other. He also gained more muscle which had his clothing looking tighter than it was supposed to be, but now isn’t the time for that. I’m mad at him and he should know that.

“I came to visit you and you’re ignoring me.” Snorting, I couldn’t believe the hypocrisy because I’ve been being ignored for almost 2 months – that was the last time we’ve spoken to each other.

“Well, you should have gone home because I don’t want to see you right now.” Walking away, he followed close behind me tugging on my hood as I lead us to my dorm.

“Why? What did I do wrong?” Scoffing, I pulled out my key card unlocking the door and leading us into warmth. “Yun? Come on, talk to me, please. I missed you.”

Shrugging, I pressed the button for the elevator more worried about what I should pack. I’m sure to get more clothes once I go home and seeing as how it’s cold I’ll be swimming in sweaters for the rest of the season. I just hope they aren’t ugly because mom doesn’t really have a taste for fashion like I do. Stepping onto the elevator, I pressed my floor before leaning against the wall, and I guess he thought it was an invite to touch me because next thing I know he’s pressed into my side hugging me. Pushing him away, he kept coming back until we made it but even then, he still held onto me as I went towards my room already knowing that Donghyuk must be inside packing. Opening the door, we were greeted by the mess his side of the room was along with an excited Bobby who clearly was far from his dorms.

“HANBIN!” The jumping started as Bobby stood rushing the other who looked as excited as he was. “I missed you so much, bro. How come you’ve never visited?”

“Sorry, I wanted to but on my last leave my parents were dragging me around to meet family members.” Smacking my lips, I couldn’t believe that he was using his family as an excuse for not calling anyone.

Slamming my suitcase on the floor, I threw it open stomping over to my drawers and throwing those open I snatched things out tossing it into my suitcase to be folded later. I did a lot of slamming and opening which had the other three watching me the whole time in confusion. When I left this morning, I was pretty happy about the break and seeing my family, now my mood was ruined because of some asshole. Flopping down on the ground, I started to fold my clothing only to stop when Donghyuk had called for me.

“Huh?” Glaring at him, he put his hands up in surrender mentally taking a step back.

“I asked if you were okay?” Shaking my head, I gave him a tight smile before going back to my folding which was pretty vicious and not as neat. “Okay! Well, Bobby and I are going skiing with his parents over the break. What are you two doing?”

“I’m going home to my parents.” Yanking a few things off my bed, I folded those up as well hating the fact that I actual slept with a blanket that had his face on it – well it was both of our faces, but that didn’t make me hate it any less at this moment.

“I’m going wherever Yunhyeong’s going.” Freezing, I stared at him in disbelief because I didn’t know anything about this. “I convinced my parents to let me spend Christmas with him, or more so these two weeks before I have to go back to base.”

“I bet your mom threw a fit like she always does.” They laughed but I was still frozen at the fact that I was actually a little excited at the fact that he was finally spending time with me.

“Well, I have everything, so we can leave.” Donghyuk zipped up his suitcase, a fresh smile on his face as Bobby took it heading out of the room. “I’ll see you after break, Yunhyeong.”

“Bye.” Whispering it, I dropped my head wishing that he would have stayed a little longer.

Folding up the rest of my things, I didn’t actually leave until later tonight, so I was going to do what I always did. Lay down until it’s time for me to go. Taking off my coat, hat, and gloves, I moved to lay down only to be stopped by him grabbing me. Glaring at him, he brushed off my whole mood, pulling me closer to him lips ready for a kiss that I wasn’t going to give him.

“What’s wrong?” Pouting, I felt childish, but as long as it got my point across I don’t care. “Are you going to tell me or just stand here sulking?”

“Forget it.” My eyes were going to get stuck if I keep rolling them but it was the only way for me to get that feeling out. “Why are you even here?”

“I said I missed you, and I’m not just going to forget it, so tell me what it is.” Staring at one of the many photos that littered my side of the room, I started to think if arguing right now would do us any good.

We did argue a little the last time we talked and that was only because he was so busy listening to another soldier tell stories instead of listening to what I was saying. I still don’t understand why he called me when he was clearly busy doing other things. But who cares, he needs to know what he did wrong and fix it. I’m being faithful and he’s neglecting me.

“Why haven’t you called or texted me in two months?” He looked down on me with a look probably already knowing that I was going to bring it up.

“Sorry, I’ve been busy.” What else did I expect? It’s always busy this, or busy that.

“I’m tired of hearing about how busy you are, Hanbin. Do you know that we’ve been dating for 8 months now and the last time I saw you was almost 5 months ago? Even when you are on leave, your mother has to send me picture of you just to let me know that you’re still alive!” Pushing him away, my arms cracked with the force as I’ve been holding this in for a while now. “It’s fine if you can’t visit me but at least reply to my letters. I’m not even asking for much but you can’t even fucking deliver on any of your stupid promises.”

“Can we just enjoy this break without arguing? I said I was sorry, okay, and I really am.” The fact that he was trying to push my words away as if they didn’t matter frustrates me.

“How is it arguing if I just want answers? You always get pissed and sulky when I don’t answer the phone, but the moment I have a problem with it, it’s not a problem anymore.” My eyes started to water a little at the emotions that were trying to run out of me. “Do I mean nothing to you now that you’ve tasted some harsh training? Am I something that you can just push around? What even are we at this point?”

Sighing, I fell to the ground hugging my knees not liking the vulnerability that had just hit me. How can 5 months of him being away make us like this? What is going to happen in the next year and 7 months?

“All I want you to do is write me back, and actually talk to me when we’re on the phone. Is that too much to ask? Am I asking t-too much?” Sniffling, I wiped my nose with a harsh hand as I hated being like this.

He got down on my level hugging me but I couldn’t even return it – I didn’t want to. His body was warm even with the thin layer of clothing his wore, and I missed it a lot. Closing my eyes, I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat from the tears that were trying to make me cry.

“No, it isn’t. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that I acted like that. Can you forgive me?” Looking at the clock, it was time for me to go so moving him off me I stood. “Where are you going?”

“Home. My train arrives in like two hours and it takes at least one hour to get to the station.” Picking up my suitcase, I put back on my coat before opening the door, waiting for him to get out because I needed to lock the door.

“Why didn’t you go with Chanwoo and his family?” Is that really any of his business? “I’m just curious.”

“They’re going to arrive later tonight, and they’re also driving.” Getting back on the elevator, I looked him over to see that he was empty handed. “Where’s your luggage?”

“I went there first thinking that you’d be with them, and after being told to ride with you from the college I gave Chanwoo my stuff.” Huffing, I rolled my eyes a little because what if something happened on the way there?

I’m still very mad, but he did apologize and actually looked sorry, so I should give him a chance.

“Mhm is that so?” I tried to sound happier than I actually am but it was kind of hard. “Did you get your train ticket?”

“I’ll just buy it when we get there.” Nodding, I really had nothing else to say as he would do whatever he was going to do.

He kept trying to talk to me as we walked the campus towards the gate. I answered what I wanted to and what I didn’t was met with silence. Hauling a taxi, we got in telling the driver where to go and leaning back into the seat we started slapping each other’s hands as he kept trying to hold mine. Even though I’m trying that doesn’t mean that I’m comfortable enough to be lovey-dovey with you. The whole ride there he kept trying to touch me and I kept slapping his hand away – to be honest, I was enjoying it more than I should be. Paying the fair, he got into line buying his ticket while I went towards the platform that the train normally arrived on.

“Yunhyeong, want something drink?” Giving a curt nod, he smiled wide tripping over himself as he looked for a vending machine or something.

“I’m in love with an idiot.” Rubbing my face, I watched out for the train just in case it decided to come in early.

“I got us coffee since it’s cold.” Taking the cup, I sipped on it scooting over a little as he took his seat next to me. “Are you really not going to forgive me?”

“I’m trying.” Sucking his teeth at my words, I smiled into my cup a little.

“What can I do? I want you to smother me with your love this break, but that won’t be possible while you’re mad.” Slurping, it was long and drawn out as I thought on what he could do to make it up to me.

“Just reflect on what you did and don’t do it again.” Nodding, he took out his phone texting on it before showing me that he set a memo.

Sighing was all I could do because he really was an idiot. I wanted to see him reflecting, not a memo to remember to do so. Crushing my cup, I tossed it in the garbage not saying anything else as I waited on the train. When it arrived, we got on taking our seats – I sat down first and he sat next to me – and leaning my head against the window I slowly started to drift off. Falling asleep, I had woken up to the train shaking a little and glancing around I noticed that my body wasn’t pressed into the window anymore. Instead I had my head on his shoulder while his head was on top of mine snoring rather loudly. Quickly pulling out my phone, I snapped a picture before stuffing it back in my pocket. Getting comfortable, again, I fell back asleep liking the comfort and warmth that he was providing in this moment.

I wish he would actually understand what he did wrong instead of just acting like it so that we won’t fight. He’ll have to grow up a little more.


	8. JUST U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I got trouble with my baby. Mayday, Mayday, I fell in the sweet sea." - Jeong Sewoon ft. Sik-k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle bells...

A few days passed since our “argument”, and even though he said he was trying, he was still kind of avoiding me. When we arrived, his parents greeted me warmly saying that they missed me which had him shaking his head. We ended up sharing a room together with Chanwoo – the younger had pleaded to sleep on the futon, but Yunhyeong forced him into bed with him making me sleep on the futon. He still slept with the blanket I had given him, along with the shirt I brought him with my face on it – it was so cute.

Christmas was today, and like every other household, we woke up early to go down, eat breakfast, and open gifts. I mean, everyone in the home was basically an adult besides Chanwoo, so there weren’t many gifts that laid under the tree. I had gotten Yunhyeong’s gift on my last leave, and after having my mom wrap it and make it pretty, I took it back to base with me hiding it among my things. The instructors did checks often but they didn’t seem to mind much whenever they found it – they were actually pretty gentle with it.

Groaning, I stretched while heading into the living room and seeing that they were all sprawled out, I took to leaning against the wall. Chanwoo was pretty excited as he had gotten a new gaming system, a new keyboard for his computer, and a bunch of games. He reminded me of child and it was refreshing. The actually adults, aka parents, exchanged wine and clothing – typical. Yunhyeong had got clothes and money causing him to thank them already knowing that the look he was giving meant that he was sure to not like the clothing, he was picky about fashion. Smiling, I didn’t expect anything as I had come last minute and my parents just said that they were going to throw my gifts in my room, but I was more than surprised when Yunhyeong’s dad came to stand next to me holding a small box.

“Merry Christmas.” Thanking him, I slowly opened it not wanting to ruin the wrapping, and the moment I opened it I saw a silver watch with a black band. “Being on time is important when you’re in a relationship, okay?”

“Yes, sir.” Patting my shoulder, he went back to his wife who was trying to read the fine print of the wine she received.

“What did you do?” Jumping, Chanwoo had snuck up on me out of nowhere, and I could have sworn he was sitting on the other side of the room. “To Hyung, I mean. Why is he so sulky?”

Looking at the other, he had his arms crossed over his chest while staring at the floor grumbling under his breath. Shrugging, I knew he thought that I didn’t get him anything, but that was all a part of my plan – lead him to believe that I didn’t get him anything, then BAM! Present, right in his hand. Smirking at my plan, the snow outside had gotten a little heavy which meant that it would look pretty later on tonight when I give him his gift.

“Let’s eat!” Moving off the wall, I followed the family as they headed towards the table, and taking my seat next to my cutie I smiled at him big and wide.

His hand came out pushing my face away but I just couldn’t as he looked so cute first thing in the morning. His eyes were slightly puffy, along with his face, and his hair was a mess that he tried to smooth down but it didn’t work. To be honest, it made it worse. Once my plate was sat down, I ate fast as if I was in the canteen and only had a few minutes to eat – well that was what normally happened as the instructor would come rushing in telling us to get back out there. Scooping my bowl of rice clean, I started stacking up my dishes causing me to sigh before looking around to see that everyone was staring at me.

“W-Would you like seconds?” Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I shook my head with a thankful smile as I shouldn’t eat too much. “I’ll take your dishes then.”

“What are you a child?” Yunhyeong grabbed my hand gently wiping it with a paper towel that he had dipped into his water.

“Only if you want me to be.” Chanwoo gagged causing me to look at him to see that he was actually going to throw up if he kept at it. “Oh, uh, later can you go out with me? If you want to that is.”

“Why?” I could tell that he was expecting something by the glitter that had entered his eyes causing them to sparkle. “I mean, sure, yeah.”

The fact that he had tried to act as if he wasn’t excited already told me that I had him reeled in. Excusing myself, I went into the bathroom to shower and clean myself up already knowing that I’d be getting another haircut when I get back to base. I ended up having to cut my shower short because Chanwoo didn’t know anything about personal space as he came barging in telling me to hurry up and get out. I don’t really understand why he was rushing me when he was just going to stay in the house all day playing video games. Getting out, I wrapped a towel around my waist heading into our shared room to see that no one was in there, they must still be eating. Slipping on my underwear, I looked through my stuff trying to find an outfit for this evening – it didn’t have to be anything spectacular but I needed to make it seem as if I tried.

“My eyes!” Turning around, Chanwoo stood in the door way covering his eyes while swaying around. “My pure eyes!”

“Stop being over dramatic, loser.” I was about to give up when an idea had suddenly crossed my mind. “Since you’re here, help me.”

“With what?” Closing the door, he came over to me squatting down so that we were both now staring at my mess of a bag.

“An outfit. I don’t know what to wear for later, and seeing as how you’re always around Yunhyeong, I thought you would be perfect help.” Looking him over, I couldn’t really say that he was the best dressed as he tends to wear plain shirts and whatever pair of pants he finds in his closet.

“Where are you going?” The words were on the tip of my tongue but I stopped myself knowing that he liked to report back to others. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

“That’s what you said last time, and next thing I know all of our friends were very much aware of the fact that all Yunhyeong and I have done was kiss and hold hands.” He laughed at the memory even though I was subject to many phone calls filled with endless teasing. “Now, help me before he comes over here.”

He looked through it before tossing me two items and telling me to wear actually outside wear that was meant for this weather. Leaving me to sit those aside, I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a short sleeve shirt as the house was warm.

“Now where did I put those -,” Digging under the pile of unfolded clothes, my fingers came in contact with a thick stack of papers that I’ve been working on since enlisting. “Got it.”

“Got what?” Quickly stuffing it back under the pile, I smiled at the other who was sure to see the error of his ways when he gets his gift, or gifts.

“Nothing.” Nodding, he laid down wrapping himself in my blanket mumbling a little. “Taking a nap?”

“Mhm.” Crap! I’ll just work on it later when he’s awake, for now I guess I can go play with Chanwoo.

Leaving, I went into the living room sitting on the floor with Chanwoo telling him to put the game on two-player mode. We played well into the night, he beat me so many times that I couldn’t even count. Finishing our last round, he stood doing this little dance while laughing in my face causing me to suck my teeth as he was an asshole. Standing, I looked at the time to see that we needed to be heading out or else we would miss the event. Running into the room, I looked to see that he was still knocked out, so changing quickly, I sat down next to him lightly pushing him awake.

“You need to wake up or you won’t get your present.” He jumped up causing are face to be only an inch apart, our breath mingling with each other’s. “Wear something nice.”

Pecking his lips, I moved watching as he stumbled out of bed and into the hallway. My movements were quick as I stuffed everything into this random bag that his mom had given me yesterday. Putting on an actual coat, I sat on the bed waiting for him to return and when he did his hair was wet along with his face. Seeing that I was fully dressed and waiting, he ran around the room throwing on a sweater and a pair of dark jeans causing me to tell him to wear thick socks. He gave me a confusing look before doing so which told me that he was game for anything. Once dressed and fully bundled up, we headed out telling his family that we would be back before midnight.

“Before midnight? Where are we going?” Signaling that it was a secret, I took his gloved hand in mine squeezing it in reassurance. “Why didn’t you dress for the weather?”

“It wasn’t this cold when I left base, so I didn’t think much of it.” I was freezing without a hat or scarf and anyone could tell.

“Let’s go in this shop.” Pulling me into the shop we were about to pass, he dragged me towards where the hats and stuff was at. “Should we match since it’s Christmas?”

The hat, scarf, and gloves he wore were all black like most of his wardrobe now, and picking out a similar style for me we went to the counter paying for it. Putting the hat and scarf on for me, he told me that that was my gift. I didn’t mind as this was last minute, so I understood him not buying me anything. Continuing our walk, it didn’t take long before we saw a crowd of people standing around what I wanted to show him. Grabbing his hand, I pulled him towards it noticing all the phones that we out taking a picture of it, and the closer we got the more his face lit up.

“We missed the first half but in the second half there are more tricks.” Finding a good spot, I moved him to stand in front of me and wrapping my arms around his neck we watched the ice skating show.

It wasn’t really an annual thing that they did here, but when I found out about it from one of the soldiers I was bunking with, I just knew that I had to bring him. The second half was an hour long but being out here in the cold made it feel as if the time was way longer. The crowd dispersed once it was over leaving us to just stand there and marvel at the skaters who were slowly but surely making their way off the ice still doing a few tricks.

“It’s over?” He sounded more disappointed than I thought he would be causing me to walk him towards the restaurant we were eating at. “Do we really have to walk like this?”

“Yup, or else we’ll lose all the heat.” I didn’t want to let him go, that was all. “Did you enjoy it?”

“I guess.” Biting his hat, he giggled swatting me away causing me to pull away so that I could open the door. “It smells good in here.”

Taking off our shoes, we made our way towards an empty table that was in the back and sitting next to one another, I called for one of the workers. Ordering for us, she left saying that it wouldn’t take long which was hard to believe as the place was pretty full.

“Wow, you’re buying me meat? I was sure that we would eat ramen.” His laughter filled my heart and I couldn’t help but gush at it a little.

“Why are you so cute?” Reaching my hand out, I lightly grabbed his face squeezing a little to make his lips pucker before leaning in and stealing a kiss. “I should change your name in my phone.”

“Stop kissing me. I’m still mad at you.” Snickering, I took out my phone trying to think of a cute nickname for him. “Also, where did your fight go? You’ve been acting different since we arrived.”

“What – Oh, I just want to enjoy my time with you, and I know that you secretly like it when I cling to you.” Gasping, he shook his head pushing me. “Am I wrong? Then I guess I’ll stay to myself from now on.”

“No!” Glaring at me, I didn’t see any malice behind it so taking that as I cue to kiss him again, I did. “I said stop kissing me, idiot.”

When the food came, I took off my coat and other stuff so that I could grill the meat without worrying about my clothing catching on fire. While cooking, I kept handing him pieces wanting him to eat until he couldn’t and halfway through the serving he started turning to tongs to my mouth. Chewing, I finished cooking the rest of the meat and cutting it into bite size piece I plated it not wanting it to burn. Pulling the plate closer to us, I sat down watching as he was making wraps with pure concentration on his face.

“Open.” Doing as he said, I opened my mouth and in went one of the wraps. “You need to eat more. Your face is too skinny; I like it when you have a little chub.”

“So, if I become fat you’ll like me even more?” Licking my lips to clean them of the grease from the meat, he thought on it before nodding.

“I’ll like you no matter what you look like, but that attitude of yours needs to be fixed.” Tapping my lips with the next wrap, I didn’t even have a chance to say anything back before it was being shoved in my mouth. “Not a lot, just a little.”

“What should I fix?” Covering my mouth as to not show the whole restaurant the mushed up food, he scrunched up his face in disgust.

“Figure it out on your own.” Stuffing his mouth, I shook my head noticing that the table was now emptier so I should give him his gift.

The bag fit perfectly in my coat pocket even though I had stuffed the papers inside, and pulling it out I sat it on the table slowly pushing it towards him. It took a few seconds before he noticed but when he did he started choking while trying to swallow what was in his mouth. Hitting his back, he coughed before thanking me. Smiling, I watched as he took the papers out sitting them to the side and grabbing the small box he unwrapped it as if it was a nuisance. His hands shook as he popped open the box staring at the ring inside and pulling my dog tag from out of my shirt I showed him the exact same ring.

“I went through a lot of trouble asking if I could wear it around my neck -,” The small speech that I prepared was cut off by his tears causing me to freeze not knowing what I did. “Y-Yunhyeong, are you okay?”

Nodding, he bites his lip sliding the couple ring - that took more than one day to pick out – onto his ring finger. Ah, my poor heart, he was just too cute. Ruffling his hair, a smile came onto my face as he leaned over laying his head on my chest, tears still running down his face.

“Also, I haven’t replied to your letters because I’ve been collecting my response so that you could read them all at once. I kind of got carried away at the end drawing horrible pictures that tell a small story.” He cried even harder at my words, so rubbing his back I tried to calm him down as people were staring to stare at us.

“You make my heart hurt.” Laughing, he really knew how to choose his words. “One minute you’re making me sad and the next you’re making me extremely happy. My heart can’t take all this up and down.”

“I love you.” It shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise to him seeing as how I’ve been telling Jinhwan and Bobby about how much I was in love with him, but by the way he grabbed my hand I knew he was a little shocked.

“I love you, too.” That was all I needed to hear.

On our way back to the house, he clutched the bag with the letter tightly to his chest as if they would disappear the moment he sat them down. With my arm over his shoulder, we entered the house to see that it was quiet meaning that everyone was either asleep or chilling in their rooms. Going to our own, Chanwoo had taken over the whole bed, snoring loudly and limbs all over the place. Shaking my head, I stripped out of my outerwear and clothing in general putting on my sweats and t-shirt watching as he only threw on a shirt. We laid down on the futon together both straight as a log scared to touch one another – this was the first time we were sharing a bed together.

“Hanbin,” Humming, I turned onto my side causing his back to slide up against my chest until we were flush together. “thank you for everything.”

“The same could be said to you.” Wrapping my arm around him, I laid my head on the other ready to hear Chanwoo’s voice in the morning. “I forgot – Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”


	9. WELCOME BACK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm glad you returned, I'll treat you better now. Welcome back." - iKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Almost done with the debut album.

Two years passed by like that and before I knew it he was being discharged, sadly, I couldn’t go to pick him up because I had a test that day. At least we talked on the phone as he said that his hair was already growing back and he wouldn’t feel naked for long. Laughing at his stupidity, I told him to visit me whenever he got the chance which he said would be soon, but knowing him I couldn’t count on that. That was 3 weeks ago.

Walking out of class with Jinwoo and his boyfriend, Mino, we were talking about how the professor was pmsing today for no reason. I don’t know what his problem is but he should fix that before coming to class. Fixing the snapback that Hanbin had given me, I noticed a figure walking towards me and upon further inspection it was Wonho, he was one of our classmates.

“Hey, Yunhyeong – Jinwoo.” His smile was wide causing me to return it as the sun seemed to make it shine brighter than it actually was. 

“Hey, Wonho. You weren’t in class earlier; did something happen?” Shaking his head, I glanced at Jinwoo who was giving me the same smile that Jinhwan gave me whenever he noticed something.

“No, not really. Uh, can I get the notes from you?” Nodding, we all moved to the side realizing that we were blocking the way of others.

Digging through my bag, I produced the notebook handing it to him and when he took it our fingers touched a little. Looking elsewhere, I took my hand back clenching it a little as he did it on purpose. Closing my bag back up, I shouldered it trying not to act like I was rushing to get away from him – I wasn’t but I kind of was.

“You can bring them to my dorm later when you’re done.” He nodded while turning to leave only to turn around and surprise me at the sudden closeness. “Y-Yes?”

“There’s a party later and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.” Oh, so he does like me, and here I am thinking that Jinwoo was poking fun.

“Sorry, Wonho, but I have a boyfriend and I don’t think he’d appreciate me partying with other guys.” Apologizing, I moved around him not wanting to see the disappointment on his face. “I’ll see you later, though. For my notes that is.”

Running down the stairs, I caught up with the two who had abandoned me in my time of need – they were horrible friends. Taking Jinwoo’s other arm in my own, I sighed deeply already knowing how awkward it was going to be in class now.

“So?” Glancing up at him, I noticed the expectant look that he held and looking at Mino he also held a similar one.

“I have a boyfriend.” Flipping up hand up to show him the ring, he scoffed a little causing me to pull away because we already had this conversation before. “I like being faithful - even though we don’t see each other a lot. He also just got discharged 3 weeks ago, so I won’t be lonely anymore.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know but a little partying every once in a while, won’t put you in the dog house. He probably partied on his leaves without you knowing, so don’t have such a stick up your ass. Plus, Wonho is one of many who have asked you to a party and you’ve declined them all.” Rolling my eyes, I huffed as he was really trying to justify their proposals.

“So, what you’re saying is that if a random girl or guy came up and asked Mino to a party, you wouldn’t get mad? Especially if you knew that they liked him.” He stopped walking stilling a little, and I knew that I had caught him in his own trap. “My point exactly!”

Letting his arm go, I unlocked the door holding it so that they could follow behind me. Pressing the elevator, he started asking Mino what he would do in that situation and it seemed that finally someone was on my side. The people you meet in college always have weird mindsets. Snickering at him, he kept trying to flip it around the whole elevator ride up and when my floor came I stepped off telling him that anything he said for now on was invalid. Going towards my shared dorm with my best friend, I opened it to see that he was laying on his bed with Bobby – why don’t they just make it official?

“Donghyuk, do you want to hear the funniest thing ever?” He glanced up from his work with a big grin and I couldn’t help but feel a little afraid. “Anyway, so Jinwoo, Mino, and I were walking and I got stopped by Wonho – who totally has a crush on me – and he asked me to a party. And do you know what I did?”

He started shaking his head causing me to laugh a little not noticing that his eyes weren’t even looking directly at me, they were staring behind me. Jiwon made this little gurgle sound but I ignored it turning around to take off my bag and sit down at my desk.

“What did you do?” Screaming, a dark figure was suddenly coming at me causing me to run and jump in the bed with the other two.

Hiding behind Bobby, I had my arms wrapped around his neck tight with my eyes closed not knowing who that was, or more so what that was.

“I-I can’t b-breathe.” He was tapping my arm to let him go but I just couldn’t not until the figure made itself known. “H-H-Hanbin.”

“Huh? Hanbin?” Letting up a little, I looked a little closer causing the light to come on showing that the figure was in fact Hanbin. “O-Oh, my heart. I almost had a heart attack, asshole!”

Grabbing my shirt, I rocked back and forth a little trying to calm my heart down only to be kicked out of the bed by the other two who were complaining about the bed being crowded. Sitting on the floor, I leaned my head against the bed wishing that he had made his presence known when I entered the room.

“I said no, that’s what I did.” Taking a deep breath, I crawled my way over to my desk still in disbelief that I had lost 10-years off my life. “What are you doing here? I thought you were getting ready to go into the academy.”

“I am, but I missed you, so I thought I would surprise you.” Holding out his hand, I took it standing with his help before sitting down in my chair. “Then I hear that someone just asked you out, and I can’t help but be a little salty.”

“Don’t worry, I only like you.” His lips were wet with something as he pressed them into the side of my face, not that I minded. “Now, go over there while I finish this paper.”

“Rude, but I will do as I’m told.” Smiling, I took out my laptop plugging it into the wall so that it didn’t die on me like last time.

Fixing the snapback, again, I cracked my knuckled getting to work because it was due in two days and I was only half done. Looking at where I had left off, I racked my brain for the terms that were in my lent notebook that I would double-check when I got it back later. Typing away, I had worked on the paper for at least an hour before my stomach started to growl causing me to save it. Looking at the others, Hanbin was flipping through one of my many textbooks while the other two had given up on their work deciding to chat about whatever it is that they talked about.

“Who wants to get delivery?” It seemed to spring everyone into action as Donghyuk began to dig through his side drawer for the many menus he had in there.

“We got pizza, Chinese, and seafood?” Everyone was quick to cancel out seafood meaning that we were down to pizza and Chinese food. “They’re having a special for the pizza today.”

“Pizza it is.” Pulling out my wallet, I flipped through the bills to pay for the half that I would share with Hanbin only to be stopped by said person.

“It’s on me.” Bobby started ‘oohing’ before jumping on my bed tickling the other asking where the money was at. “Stop, idiot! I have a card.”

“Since when?” We all stared at him but he only shrugged, and pulling it out a few seconds later we looked at the blue piece of plastic. “It’s real~.”

“Why the hell are you whispering? And of course it is real, I got it a week ago.” Kicking the other off of him, the room fell silent as we didn’t know what to do because Hanbin wasn’t complaining about being broke – he wasn’t broke. “Why did it get so quiet? Is me having money that big of a surprise?”

“Yes.” All three of us said in unison with big nods of our heads.

“You guys aren’t my real friends.” He huffed a little before crawling towards me. “Now order the pizza before I close my wallet forever.” 

Bobby scrambled for his phone as Donghyuk kept screaming at him to be faster – they were a mess. Looking away from them, I was met with a smiling face whose eyes were staring me over in amazement. Pushing his face away, he only came back but this time he was closer causing our noses to touch and my eyes to cross as I stared at him. Puckering his lips, he was trying to kiss me but I backed away annoyed with these sudden changes in his movements and personality. He was just different since he left the army but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It’s only been 3 weeks, so I should think much on it, right? Right.

“They said it’ll be 30 minutes.” Nodding, I turned going back to my essay as I had another one to work on for a different class.

“I didn’t know you were so diligent.” Snorting, I couldn’t believe that he was the one to say that. “What? All I’m saying is that you’re smart.”

“I know I’m smart, but the same can’t be said for you, Binnie. How are you going to the police academy when you don’t study? Are you really going to try your hardest?” His arms wrapped around my neck pulling himself closer until he was practically hanging off the bed to lean on me.

“Of course, I have to provide for you somehow and no other job peeks my interest.” Provide for me? Where was this coming from?

“Well don’t jump too far ahead, or else I’ll be the one providing for you.” He started blowing air into my ear causing me to scrunch up.

“You two are disgusting! I’m starting to lose my appetite.” Looking at the two who were practically devouring each other, I rolled my eyes because they were disgusting.

“Then Yunhyeong and I can enjoy the pizza by ourselves.” The knock on the door had me pushing him back up the bed so that I could stand and answer the door.

Holding my hand out, he slapped the card in it telling me the pin and walking to the door I opened it with a smile expecting the pizza guy. But to my surprise it was Wonho – I forgot he had my notebook. Slipping the card into my back pocket, smile falling a little before I made it permanent leaning against the door a little to block everyone else. It was enough that was had classes together, he doesn’t need to know what my room looks like.

“I was just returning your notebook.” Taking it from his hands, I nodded turning a little to toss it on my desk. “Also, I know you said that you didn’t want to go to the party later, but I was hoping we could go as friends. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Ah Won – I’m busy right now writing an essay, so I won’t be able to -,” There was a presence behind me and by the look on his face I knew it wasn’t Donghyuk.

“Who is this?” This was so awkward – I’m literally standing in between my boyfriend and the guy who has a crush on me. “He doesn’t look like he’s carrying pizza.”

“This is my classmate. I let him borrow my notebook earlier.” His arm came up slinging itself over my shoulder. “Well, I’m busy so I won’t be able too, sorry.”

I moved to close the door but Hanbin had kept me in place along with keeping the door wide open. They were staring one another down, it made my heart race not knowing what was about to happen. The elevator opened revealing the pizza guy, so moving around them I ran to where he stood with a thankful smile. Paying, I took the pizza heading back towards the room – they were talking? Why were they talking? They had nothing to talk about. Wonho left a few seconds after leaving me to stare at the loser in the doorway who was watching the other leave. Shaking my head, I pushed past him sitting the pizza on the floor causing the other two to jump at it like they were predators and the pizza was their prey.

Sitting down, I grabbed two slices holding one out to the other who had sat down a little too close to me. Biting it, the slice hit his chin before he grabbed it eyes on me the whole time. He was such a baby.

“Oh, before I forget, welcome back.” His smile was wide causing me to grab a napkin wiping his face.

“I can’t believe I’m going to spend all summer and winter at an academy. I graduate in the spring, though, so make sure you’re all there.” We all nodded but we already knew we would have to check our schedules to make sure we didn’t have classes.

“We’ll be sure to tell the other two.” Bobby snatched the last slice causing Hanbin to reach out and snatch it back. “How’s Chanwoo? Is he still playing video games with Jaewon?”

“Of course, who else will he play with? Last time I talked to him, he said that they were going to hang out, but I think it was more so a date because of the fact that they were going to eat at a restaurant. Chanwoo never eats at restaurants unless his parents force him to go. He likes fast food more.” Ripping the slice in half, Hanbin gave me half like he always does and I just stuffed it in my mouth. “Also, what did you say to Wonho?”

“Who?” Staring at him, it seemed to click because he was nodding a few seconds later. “The notebook guy? Nothing much. I just introduced myself and he said it was nice to meet me before sulking away.”

“I think he’s in love with our Yun.” Laughing, I shook my head even though the thought wasn’t impossible. “No? But when I talked to him last week he said that he was going to ask you out. He was going to treat you right.”

Grease was dripping from Donghyuk’s words making me shiver a little in disgust. A long deep growl had us all turning to look at Hanbin who had entered his own world, and by the way his hands twitched I knew he was murdering the other. Kicking Donghyuk, I shook my head wondering why he would say that. He shrugged giving me this apologetic look but the damage was already done and someone was jealous.

“Hanbin?” Blinking, he looked at me a tight smile on his face. “I said I only like you so don’t listen to these two idiots.”

Coming down from where he was, he laid his head in my lap looking up at me with weird eyes. Was he trying to be cute?

“I was so lonely without you, and when we talked last time I didn’t get to say that I missed you.” Running my fingers through his hair, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. “I’ll treat you better from now on, okay?”

Nodding, I didn’t want to break his mood by saying that I didn’t need to be treated better, but it’s the thought that counts, right?


	10. Somebody Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wasn't myself in that moment; I wasn't myself last night, I think I drank a ton of alcohol..." - Sik-k.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the first drama commence!

The first week of the academy was easier than I thought it would be as we were learning how to drive, about how to operate the computers, and we had to learn a foreign language. Driving and computers was easy but I could barely speak the language I was speaking, which meant that I needed outside help. And who better than my cutie who was taking Japanese – I intentionally chose that language because I knew he was taking it. Think smarter, not harder – I think that’s the saying, whatever if it isn’t.

The weekend was now here and like everyone else my age, I was going to party. Well to be honest, I didn’t really want to at first but Bobby had persuaded me in joining him at this club that everyone was raving about. After a whole week of bothering me, I caved him telling him that I wasn’t staying long as Yunhyeong was coming over to study with me. I was hoping to do a little bit more than studying, but I wasn’t going to rush him into anything as that was just lame.

My hair had grown back enough for me to style it somewhat. I still felt like a soldier but at least I could change it up since I’m never going back. I threw on a beanie not really caring all that much as I was only going for an hour or two then leaving. My phone lit up causing me to take a quick look to see that Bobby was downstairs. Running out, I locked the door before skipping down the steps and outside towards the car that I couldn’t believe his parents willingly brought him. It was a newer model, not that new but still new, and it seemed to sparkle even though it was black and slick.

“Get in loser, we’re going clubbing!” Rolling my eyes at the Mean Girls’ reference, I slid into the passenger seat buckling myself in, tightly. “You really dressed up, and here I am thinking you’ll come in sweats and a plain t-shirt.”

Looking myself over, I was wearing my normal club attire of a black t-shirt, a jacket that hung from my shoulders, ripped black jeans, and to make it pop a little I put on an orange beanie to match my orange shoelaces. Glancing at him, he was the one who had dressed up as he was wearing a white button down, black jeans, and a black suit jacket causing me to wonder if he was going on a date.

“You’re one to talk. Is Donghyuk going to be there?” Shaking his head, he got this dopey smile on his face causing me to gag. “Disgusting.”

“Not as disgusting as you and Yunhyeong, like cheese oozes from you two.” Lightly punching his shoulder as to not drive us into a wall or something, I sighed slouching into the seat a little.

“I’d rather have cheese than whatever you do.” The car came to a stop causing me to look over to see that we were in front of Jinhwan’s place – his parents’ place. “He went home?”

“Yeah, he said that the college dorms were suffocating and that he was going to move out soon.” He shrugged as if it was nothing, when that was a big step for the mama’s boy. “I personally don’t find them suffocating.”

“That’s because you’re always in Yunhyeong and Donghyuk’s dorm. Do you even have a dorm room?” The back door opened making his laughter drift out of the car and into the street.

“I do have a dorm, but someone is always occupying it with another person, so I never get to do more than sleep there.” Pointing at the one who got in not knowing anything, I nodded in understand as Jinhwan didn’t know a lot about sharing a space.

“Already talking shit, I see?” Shaking my head, I looked back out the window already knowing that he would try and argue that we were wrong – we’re never wrong.

The rest of the drive was filled with pre-club warm-up music that had my ears ringing from all the screaming those two did. Parking around the corner from the long line that we had passed by, I regretted not staying at home. And that’s saying something seeing as how I’d usually rather be anywhere else. Getting out, I walked behind the two who were excited about just the three of us hanging out like how we used to, along with the fact that we were going clubbing.

“Hurry up, loser.” Walking a little faster, we went to the back of the building and after knocking on the door it was opened by someone Bobby knew. “What up?!”

“Only you three?” Bobby nodded and we were let in without any problem which was a little weird – I’d rather wait in the long line. “Tablo is up in VIP.”

“Who’s Tablo?” He threw his arm around my shoulder pulling me deeper in the club ignoring my words. “Yah! I asked who Table is?!”

“Just a Hyung I know!” The music was loud as it made your brain shake with the force of it. “Oh, there he is.”

We were suddenly headed up a pair of stairs causing me to look around before my eyes landed on a male who looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. So we were on the same boat. Pulling on us until we were on top of the platform, he finally let us go to greet the person named Tablo. Jinhwan stood next to me, his shirt was unbuttoned even further than it was when he had first got in the car and I just knew that this wasn’t going to be a good night.

“Guys this is Tablo, he owns the club.” Nodding, I stuck my hand out which he took with little enthusiasm that mimicked my own. “That’s Hanbin and that’s Jinwhan, my best friends.”

“Okay, well Tukutz is Djing and Mirtha Jin is in the room chatting with people I don’t care for.” That was all Bobby needed before we were bursting into said room.

He was greeted as if he was the star of the party causing me to look at Jinhwan for help but he only shrugged. After being introduced to everyone in the room, we were made to sit down. Passing us drinks that I couldn’t even pronounce I sipped on it not really wanting to get drunk. I felt out of place here and anyone could see that. Bobby was chatting with others and Jinhwan had his attention stole by one of the many people in this room leaving me to just stare at the ceiling or floor.

“You seem lonely.” I had the glass pressed to my lips when the voice had startled me a little causing me to gulp down more than I wanted to. “I’m Chaeyoung but everyone calls me Rose.”

“Hello.” Doing a quick look over, her hair seemed to matched her name as it was this pink color that wasn’t really pink.

“Don’t be so shy, I don’t bite.” My laughter was dry but she didn’t notice as her hand latched onto my arm squeezing it a little. “Are you friends with Bobby?”

“Yeah, best friends.” Crossing her legs, her right one draped slightly over my knee causing me to take notice of how short her white skirt was. “H-How do you know Bobby?”

“We’re in the same Art class.” Moving a little, I reached over filling my glass again trying to figure this whole situation out because this is the first time it has ever happened to me. “So, you two must have known each other for a long time, right?”

“Uh, yeah, since we were little, along with Jinhwan over there.” Throwing my second glass back, the alcohol wasn’t kicking in fast enough and it was starting to piss me off.

“Do you want to go dance with me?” Jinhwan was staring at us with a raised eyebrow. “This is a really good song.”

“Oh, sorry, but I can’t leave my friends. Who knows what might happen, isn’t that right, Jinhwan?” I spoke a little louder hoping that he would get the idea to help me.

“Yeah, who knows.” He didn’t sound the least bit convincing and it was clear that she noticed.

“Then I guess we’ll just drink until a really great song comes on.” Pushing her leg off of me, I stood reaching all the way across the table for the strongest alcohol in the room.

I kept filling my glass and she kept hanging on me no matter how many times I pushed her away. People sure were clingy nowadays. Sighing, I rubbed my neck glad that the alcohol had kicked in because my head was now floating. My eyes watered a little from the burn but other than that I held a wide grin on my face. The music all started to sound the same and I nodded along to all of it. I was soon being pulled up and even though I was stumbling a little, the hand didn’t let up as I dragged me down the stairs and into the crowd. Bodies were all over the place as they collided into me on accident, or on purpose – who knows. We finally stopped, a body pressed itself into me and even though the height was a few inches shorter it reminded me of Yunhyeong. I wonder what he’s doing right now? Is it time for us to study? Can I even study?

The body grinded against me and out of instinct my hands latched onto the hips. Our bodies swayed together and along with the occasional grinding I couldn’t believe how drunk I had gotten. What time even is it? I was only supposed to be here for two hours’ max, then go home, but here I am dancing with someone I could barely make out. A familiar scent hit me causing me to let go a little as it smelled like Yunhyeong. Was he out clubbing? If he wanted to we could have gone together. I want to see his club attire.

“HANBIN!” My body felt as if it being snatched through a hole as I suddenly lose the warmth of the body pressed against me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Huh? What do doing?” The words felt foreign in my mouth and I think it made sense. “Y-Yunhyeong’s here.”

“Yunhyeong isn’t here, idiot! Come on, you’re drunk.” Pulling me, I pulled back not wanting to move as my eyes felt heavy. “Hanbin, come on! I’m taking you home.”

“W-What about Jinhwan and Bobby?” Opening my eyes wide, I looked for my friends only to be pulled on again – this time I followed. “JINNIE! BOB!”

“Stop screaming, I’m right here.” The dirty blonde hair had finally made its appearance causing me to wrap my arms around it. “I can’t breathe! Let me go!”

“S-Soory.” He kept pulling me towards somewhere I couldn’t make out and it wasn’t until another arm wrapped itself around me that I remembered we were in a club. “Boby?”

“No, it’s Rose.” The rest was blur because next thing I know I’m outside leaning against a wall for support. “Where do you live?”

Putting my finger to my chin, I thought on it shaking my head a little as I almost told her my parents’ address. I almost forgot they kicked me out – well, not really kicked out, they said because I finished my service that I should be able to live on my own. They’re paying for everything until I graduate from the academy, then I’m on my own. Telling her what I could remember, she seemed to get it without much information. Leaning against her, we walked for a minute before I was being pushed into the back of a car causing me to hit my head on the door. Groaning, I took my head in my hands slowly closing my eyes wishing that the pain would go away.

“I put my number in your phone, okay?” Shrugging, I fixed myself so that I was fully sitting up and not taking up two seats. “Also, you should visit me on campus sometimes.”

Laughing, I couldn’t understand what she was saying nor did I feel her hand that was rubbing its way up near my crotch. She never touched it but her hand rested dangerously close by it. Gulping, my throat felt tight causing me to cough to clear the feeling. The car stopped and I was being pulled out of it. Looking around, I noticed my building so taking a step forward I was pulled back and pressed against the wall. Glancing down at the person who was manhandling me, lips were suddenly being pressed into my own and I froze because these weren’t Yunhyeong’s lips. Sobering up a little, I lightly pushed the person away finally noticing that it was that girl from the club and she was leaning in for another one but I stopped her.

“H-Hanbin?” The voice that called me was soft and broken. “H-Hanbin?!”

My head snapped up to see the one person who has been on my mind for most of the night. Ripping her arms off of me, I stepped towards him with shaky legs but before I could say anything he was running away from where he stood. Squatting down, I rubbed my face slapping myself as I couldn’t believe this – why me?

“Who was that?” Jerking her hands off me, I stood storming into the building and up the stairs ignoring the dizziness that had hit me.

That tight feeling was back in my throat the moment I stepped into my apartment, so slamming the door and locking it, I threw off my jacket running into the bathroom. Sticking my head in the toilet, my whole body lurched forward as all the alcohol rushed out of me at such a fast pace. My stomach tighten till the pain was unbearable causing me to hold my shirt away from my body as if it would make the pain lessen. When the first round had finished, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand sitting back on my calves trying to catch my breath. Pulling out my phone, I hit his number listening to the song he had set as his ringer tone; it stopped and I was met with his voicemail.

“Y-Yun -,” My throat became tight and my mouth started to water causing me to stick my head back in the toilet.

I threw up all throughout the first voicemail, and I sent it on accident while trying to erase it so that I could make a better one. Calling him again, I was sent to voicemail causing me to leave another message this time without throwing up. Wiping my mouth with toilet paper, I tossed it into the toilet flushing it as I listened to the song for the 5th time in such a short amount of time. Standing, I gripped the sink with such force that I’m surprised that it didn’t crack under the pressure. Washing out my mouth, I rubbed water over my face to see that my hat was no longer on my head as it had fallen to the side of the toilet. I can always pick it up later.

Stumbling out of the bathroom and towards my bedroom, I collapsed on the floor next to my bed not having any strength left to hold myself up. Holding my phone out, I went to my messages already knowing that he wouldn’t answer my phone call.

_Me:_

_Yunhyeong, please answer me._

_My Cutie ♥:_

_Leave me alone…_

_Me:_

_No, listen to me, please._

_It was a mistake; I don’t even know her._

_She was all over me and I was drunk, so I didn’t think much of it._

_My Cutie ♥:_

_So, you’re sober now?_

_Well, since you are, leave me alone and never talk to me again._

_Me;_

_W-Wait!_

_It wasn’t me. I promise I’d never willingly do that to you._

_I love you._

Tears ran down my face as he read it but didn’t respond. Is this it? Screaming, I chocked on a sob not understanding how he could just leave me without fully listening to my side of the story. What am I saying? I was caught kissing someone who wasn’t him by him. I’m such garbage. Why did I get drunk? Why?


	11. Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For some reason, today the TV dramas I always watched have such obvious cliche scenes that seem to be laughing at me..." -iKON

I ignored ever last call, voicemail, and text message that he sent to me. I just needed to clear my head because the fact that he had gone drinking when he knew we were supposed to study was one thing, but kissing someone else was something totally different. I don’t care if he was drunk or sober, he should have pushed her away with more force instead of allowing her to try and comeback for a second kiss.

If only I hadn’t gotten lost on the way to his place; if only I had arrived a few minutes earlier then maybe I would have been able to stop it. After a few days of blaming him, I am now on to blaming myself; what the hell is wrong with me?

I abandoned my dorm for the summer allowing Donghyuk to use it to his heart’s content, along with the fact that he was sure to look for me there. Originally, I thought of going to my parents’ but I didn’t want to risk it, so I went to Chanwoo’s place. He had caught the flu or something and needed someone to take care of him while my Aunt and Uncle were busy with work, so I readily volunteered on the premise that no one knew I was here. They questioned me, and after giving them some bogus answers of wanting to spend this summer relaxing, they left it at that.

“Your phone is ringing, again.” Pulling on my face mask – I don’t want his germs – I grabbed it to see another message from him. “Why don’t you just talk to him? I’m tired of him calling me. The idiot doesn’t know when to give up.”

“Why are you talking if your throat hurts?” He had coughed and strained his voice throughout his small speech leaving me to roll my eyes.

Reading all the unread messages, he was in conflict with himself as one minute he told me to forget about him and the next he was saying that he didn’t mean it. What right did he have to be an emotional mess when he was the one who was caught locking lips with some random girl?! Not to mention that he had Bobby and Jinhwan calling me as well trying to explain the situation that I didn’t care to hear – it was his fault, so the responsibility lies solely on him. Sighing, I turned off the ringer before flipping it upside down as I needed to finish cleaning up the rest of these snotty tissues.

The buzzer went off but I made no movement to go get it as it clearly wasn’t Chanwoo’s parents or mine as they knew the code. It rang a few more times causing me to sigh deeply as I finished picking up the tissues. Grabbing the mop, I began to mop his bedroom floor not wanting the germs to be stuck to the floor or something. Honestly, I was just trying to busy myself so that I didn’t crack – I wasn’t going to crack. I had already cried when it had first happened meaning that I had no more tears for the situation.

“If you’re not going to get the door, then I will.” Choking on my spit, I shook my head trying to push the younger back down but he had clearly made up his mind. “I’ll make him go away, okay?”

He said that but we both knew that he wasn’t going to go away. Putting the mop back, I went into my bedroom, the guest bedroom, closing the door as I didn’t want to hear whatever conversation that they were going to have. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I snatched off the face mask and gloves trying to figure out what I was going to do.

“I said he isn’t here, Hyung. I’ve been here trying to take care of myself, so unless you want to get sick I think it’s best if you should leave.” They were coming down the hall, clearly Chanwoo was struggling to get him to go away. “HYUNG!”

“You suck at lying, Chanwoo.” Covering my mouth, I held my breath but it was useless in the end. “If he isn’t here then why is his phone here?”

“He stopped by and left it.” There goes that awkward laugh that gives everything away. “I’m serious, he isn’t here.”

His feet stopped in front of my door causing a shadow to be lightly casted under it. The door knob jiggled but didn’t move as I had locked it when I entered. Knocks turned to pounds, and whispers became almost screams, and my name went from full to one of the many nicknames that he had given me. Standing, I went towards the door, unlocking it, and opening it I stared at him. The anger that I had been feeling had returned and I wanted to slam the door in his face but I didn’t, instead I dismissed Chanwoo telling him to rest and that I’d bring him his dinner later. He was reluctant only to leave when I glared at him.

“What do you want?” We both had tight grips on the door – mine’s was to keep him out and his was to get in.

“Can we please talk?” Sighing, I let the door go allowing him to enter because I had nothing to say to him. “Thank you.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Acting as if I had no idea, I crossed my arms staring at him as he closed the door before crossing the room to sit on my bed.

“I was drunk and I didn’t know that was going to happen. I know you don’t want to hear anything about it, but I can’t lose you. We’ve been together for 2 years now, and I really do love you, so if you could find it in your heart to accept me -.” Cutting off his words with a scoff, I shook my head because he clearly got that out of a book or something.

“Drunk? You keep saying that, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that you did it. To be honest, you looked as if you liked it.” He slumped off the edge of the bed onto his knees, shaking his head as if it would dismiss my thought.

“No! I didn’t like it. I pushed her away, didn’t you see that? I don’t even remember what she looks like, let alone her name, so how could I like it?” Closing my eyes, I took a few steps back causing my back to the hit the wall, it was keeping me grounded at this point.

“Her name is Rose and I heard she gave you her number, so come up with something else.” I kept my eyes closed not caring to see him think over what I had said.

“I deleted her number, when I woke up the next day. I promise on everything that I love you, and that I only want you. I only want to be with you; I only want to be kissed by you; I only want to be in your embrace; I only want you to love me back.” Arms wrapped around my waist pulling me from the wall as his head was in the crook of my neck, tears wetting the skin there along with another fluid that I didn’t want to name.

“Get out.” My voice trembled at the words because I never thought that I would be saying them to him. “You told me to forget you, so let me do that.”

“I-I didn’t mean it! I was just upset that you weren’t answering me, and I thought that you would if I said that but you still didn’t – please, don’t leave me.” His hold was even tighter causing me to wonder if he was trying to morph us into one person.

“H-Hanbin, I think it’s best if -,” Lips were smashed into my own desperate for me to kiss back, and even though I longed to, I didn’t.

“Don’t say it.” Speaking against my lips, the tears that I’ve been holding back fell mixing in with his own that stained my skin. “You don’t want me to go, please say it. Please say that you don’t want us to end, and that you’ll forgive me. I’ll take full responsibility, okay? I said I would take better care of you, but I can’t if you leave me like this.”

Pushing his face away, I covered my own trying to figure out my feelings. Of course, I loved him and only wanted to be with him but can I just ignore what I saw? Can I act as if nothing had ever happened for the sake of saving my heart from breaking even more? Picking me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist not wanting to be dropped and as he walked us over to the bed my mind was frazzled. Laying me down, I choked on a sob that shook my whole body because I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want us to be over, but I can’t forgive him that easily. I don’t want to be seen as a pushover, but I want to forgive him so bad.

“How are you going to take responsibility?” Removing my hands, he took my wrist into his hands gently squeezing as if I needed reassurance – no, I just want to hear what he had to say.

“I-I’ll stop drinking, and I won’t go to clubs anymore.” Those were things that’ll only stay in place for a short amount of time, because he’ll surely drink again, and he’ll be persuaded to join his friends at a club.

 “I don’t trust you, no, I don’t believe you. So, prove to me that it was a mistake and I’ll think about where we go from there.” Nodding, he put his full weight on top of me forcing me to stay in this position.

We laid like that for a long time, and it wasn’t until Chanwoo opened the door that I remembered what I was actually here for. Rolling him off of me, I stood pushing the other out of the room as I already knew what he was going to say. Going into the kitchen, I took out the soup that I had made him earlier and putting it on the burner I started to warm it up.

“You’re both idiots.” His coughing filled the air behind me causing me to nod because I know I am. “How many days has it been, and you’re already taking him back? Shouldn’t you hold out a little longer, Hyung?”

“What if I hold out too long and there is nothing to take back?” Grabbing him a bowl, I sat it next to the pot that was taking forever to warm up.

“Then move on. I know you’re deeply in love with him, but you also can’t stomach stuff like this.” Taking a deep breath, I tilted my head back trying to force the tears back in because I was done crying.

“Woo, please just let me an idiot this one time. I don’t need to hear anything about my stupid feelings and what I can and can’t stomach.” Turning up the burner, he came to stand next to me but I pushed him away not wanting his germs. “I cried like he was going to war when he enlisted, and not to mention all the times after. He does stupid things that hurt my feelings, but I’m so happy with him that I don’t know if I’ll be able to find this with anyone else. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Did they have sex?” Shaking my head, he sighed loudly causing me to look at him. “Be happy, Hyung. I know how messed up your last two relationships were, and if he really makes you that happy, then be happy with him. You can’t just throw two years down the drain over a drunken kiss that he didn’t even want; and yes, I was eavesdropping.”

Chuckling, I knew he would because that was just who he is – a nosy brat that doesn’t like others in his business. Dumping the soup into the bowl, I handed it to him with a soup telling him to be careful as it was hot.

“How did you just flip like that? One minute you’re saying to give it time and the next you’re saying that we should be together. Is this reverse psychology or something?” He shrugged before going into his room the sound of his game resuming a few minutes after.

Sitting down in the living room, he was asleep in my bed so I had nothing to really worry about until he woke up. Turning on the TV, I was met with a scene in a drama that mirrored my current actions. It was cliché really, but I couldn’t help but feel as if the character was laughing at me. Laughing at the fact that they could get money out of a break up, while the only thing I’d get was more heartache.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters before we hit New Kids: Begin Era


	12. Stay With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hope you stay with me - stay unchanged forever - I hope you stay with me." - Jay Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, he's that maybe smut that I put in the tags. hehe - awkward first time. 
> 
> A few things you should know before reading:  
> 1.) I'm not all that great at writing smut, but I am getting better; also I tried to make it a little awkward.  
> 2.) Both Hanbin and Yunhyeong are virgins - especially Hanbin with his no dating ass (it's a joke).   
> 3.) Some teasing is sure in the next chapter, other than that ENJOY!

After that I only went to the academy and back home, not wanting to slip up. I needed him to believe in me again, so that his trust would come back meaning that I had to keep to my promises. Not clubs and no alcohol, no matter how much Bobby and Jinhwan come over waving those things in my face. I want him with everything in my being, and if I lose him then I might as well give up on the life I’ve been leading so far – which was almost impossible.

With them not being in school, my home became the hangout spot for everyone including Chanwoo and his “best friend” Jaewon, who looked a little mischievous. Who am I speak on others, right? There was clearly something more going on between them but they both didn’t seem to acknowledge it only saying that they mainly played video games. Yeah, right, like they haven’t gone on little dates here and there disguising them as nothing more than a hanging out.

Tonight, I was supposed to study with Yunhyeong and I still planed on doing that but the others had caught wind of us studying and decided to invite themselves over. I tried to keep them out only to have them force their way in dirtying up my clean home. Sighing, I cleared the table of their bags pulling out my workbooks and homework waiting on the other to waltz in. I had given him the code in hopes that it would be a start to him trusting me again – that didn’t really work out like how I thought it would because he never uses it, instead ringing the buzzer for me to open the door for him. The buzzer sounded causing Bobby to jump up from his spot on the couch to open the door for the other who wasn’t really expecting him.

“Thank the heavens that you’re here! Hanbin has been being a loser for majority of the summer, and it’s a total buzzkill.” Looking down at my papers, my head still remembered that night and when I had gone to apologize to him – it soon became the first images I saw when I thought about him.

“Oh, well, we’re supposed to be studying. I didn’t know that you guys were coming.” They rushed him to sit down on the floor next to me, our bodies never touching.

“We kind of forced our way in here, when we heard that you two would be having a little study date.” Reaching for the remote, I turned down the TV a little wanting to hear the correct pronunciation for these words.

“Study date, huh?” Standing, I acted as if I forgot something not wanting them to know that we hadn’t actually made-up yet.

“I forgot a book in my room.” Rushing into my room, I started to move things around not even taking notice of the two who followed me in full concern mode.

“You’re as bad of a liar as Chanwoo is. I thought you said that you made-up.” Scratching the back of my neck, I ran my fingers through my hair trying to get my mind together.

“We did, kind of – I’m still very deep in the dog house. He won’t let me touch him, cook for him, or anything. He always leaves saying that he’ll see me after my classes to review, or more so for him to see how I did on my language tests.” They just shook their heads leaving me to search for an imaginary book on my own – some best friends they are.

They’re the reason I’m even in this position! If only I had been stronger enough to resist Bobby’s temptations ways, then none of this would have happened. Picking up a book that I was using to study for another class, I headed back out into the living room to see that everyone one was still pretty much confused on what had just happened. Sitting down, I stuffed the book under my leg, hiding the title from the others as I picked up my pen ready for my lesson. As we – I – studied, they just lounged around asking each other if they were going to the homecoming dance that was months away. It’s always best to prepare for things in advance. I wonder if he’ll allow me to take him? Will we even be fine by then?

“You’re not saying it right. Repeat after me, again.” His teeth were clenched as I kept messing up on an easy word but I couldn’t say that it was because I was thinking about him.

“Sorry.” I felt like a puppy that was being scolded and it hurt, deep down.

Mumbling the word, he relaxed a little hand reaching out to touch me only to pull away once he realized what he was about to do. Nodding, he said that I had it correct this time and I should practice writing it just in case I messed up when saying the word later on. Scribbling the word over and over again, I couldn’t believe that our relationship had suddenly be denounced to a tutor and his idiot student.

“I guess this is the part where we take our leave, right?” Looking at Junhoe as he stood pulling Jinhwan with him, I just gave them a reluctant nod. “Who wants to go out for drinks?”

“Jaewon and I are going to play video games, so I’ll be home late Hyung.” Yunhyeong nodded with his usual smile on his face while telling the younger to be careful.

“We’ll go with you two. How about – never mind. Let’s go.” Glaring at Donghyuk, who almost slipped up they piled out closing the door harshly behind them.

Going back to my work, he scooted even further away from me now that our friends weren’t here leaving the space next to me cold. I wish everything could just go back to how it was, quickly. I missed everything about him even though he was always next to me, but then again, is he really next to me? Huffing in annoyance, my thoughts were getting the best of me meaning that I can’t study like this – I hate studying anyway. Placing my face in my hands, I had to force my tears back because this wasn’t supposed to happen. We were the blueprint for our friends when it came to happy relationships, and yes, we did have our moments but we were always happy with each other. Now, we’re only breathing the same air while confined in the shell of a relationship that we both want to work. The only problem is that we’re conflicted on how to fix it without hurting the other in the process, even though that is kind of useless at this point as I’ve already hurt him enough.

“Hanbin?” Sniffling, I sucked up my snot going back to my work as I couldn’t keep him here all night. “Let’s stop for tonight, okay?”

“No, let’s get this out the way.” Trying to pronounce the next word, I chocked a little forcing myself to start over. “I-I got this.”

Smiling at him, he reached out to me again but this time he didn’t pull away instead he placed his hand at the back of my neck. Coming closer to me, he pulled me into him and laying my head on his chest I took his scent in missing this closeness. His other hand rubbed my back causing my hands to shake as I brought them up to wrap around his waist. He didn’t flinch away like he always did, so holding on even tighter I swallowed one of the many lumps that had formed in my throat.

“Don’t push yourself, idiot.” Chuckling, I couldn’t believe how long it has been since he called me that.

“I-I’m not.” Taking a deep breath, I stopped myself from glancing up at him already knowing that he was looking down at me – if I did I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.

“Okay, well I need to go.” He patted my back to let him go causing me to shake my head because not yet. “Hanbin, can you let go? I told my Aunt that I would help her cook tonight.”

“Go tomorrow.” Releasing my grip, I ran my hands up his back stopping at his neck as I massaged it a little. “Stay with me tonight.”

“I -,” Kissing him, I didn’t want to hear about what he can and can’t do anymore; I’m slowly dying on the inside every time he walks out that door. “…stop…”

Nodding, I pulled away standing ready to walk away because he told me to stop and I wasn’t going to keep forcing my love on him when he clearly doesn’t want it anymore. My chest hurt with the first step I took away from him and my head followed with the next step. What am I doing wrong? Sighing, my hand was grabbed causing me to look back to see that he had followed behind me instead of going towards the front door.

“I’ll s-stay with you.” Licking his lips, the pain in my chest went away as he wanted me as much as I wanted him, this wasn’t a one-sided battle.

Rotating my hand out of his grab, I took his wrist instead pulling him towards me, hand already wrapping around his waist so that he didn’t run away anymore. Pressing him into the wall, the decorative painting shook at little at the force but I wasn’t really worried about that right now. I guess, I took too long as he was leaning up to press his lips into my own, his fingers tangling in my hair to pull me in deeper. His mouth open causing our tongues to tangle together in a fight of dominance that he allowed me to win, even though I was kind of winning to begin with. Breaking the kiss, we were both very much out of breath our noses touching as we tried to stop that lightheaded feeling from the lack of oxygen.

“A-Are you sure?” He nodded smashing his lips on mine again, this time in a closed mouth kiss.

Gripping his thighs, I hiked him up me and the moment his legs had wrapped around my waist and his arms had found their position in my hair, I carried him off to bed. Kicking the door open, I kicked it closed behind us not caring about the neighbors that were sure to complain about the unusually high level of noise tonight. Laying him down, the kiss was broken again as we just stared at one another in the dim light of my bedroom window. The sun had long gone down causing the street lamps to light up the darkness that was outside.

“I didn’t really prepare for this.” Sniggering, his laughter came from deep within leaving me a little embarrassed.

“Neither did I, so maybe we should get ready? Is this breaking the mood? Because I feel like it would.” Shrugging, I had no idea as I’ve never been in this position before. “Whatever, let’s just go for it and face the consequences tomorrow.”

Gripping my collar, I was yanked back down into another kiss that hungrily accepted. We were having our first time amidst the storm that had ensued only a few weeks earlier. Pulling on my shirt, I broke the kiss as I pulled it over my head tossing it somewhere only for him to smile before doing the same. Now, we were both half-naked and I was rock hard while he didn’t really seem there yet – he must have more patience than I do, of course he does. Undoing his belt, I unbuttoned his pants shimmying them down his hips and thighs until I successful had them off and in one hand. Tossing them wherever my shirt was, I forced my sweatpants off wanting to be fully ready for this and wherever it leads – if it leads anywhere – no, it was defiantly leading somewhere.

Glancing around, I tried to remember what I saw in thousand hours of porn that I had watched showing me how to do this, or somewhat of a way to do this. I didn’t have any of the fancy stuff – I didn’t even own a condom but by the frustrated look on his face he was sure to say that he didn’t care. Reaching over him, I grabbed the lotion that was on my side table and sitting it next to his hip I slipped my fingers in his waistband slowly pulling them down. Once he was free, his legs parted on their own causing me to just stare at him in his full naked glory.

“Don’t stare like that, it’s embarrassing.” His voice had jumped a few octaves and I couldn’t help but laugh because it was cute, especially the way how he covered his face trying to hid his blush.

Squirting lotion onto my fingers, I used my thumb to rub it in a little before placing my head by his entrance watching him the whole time to make sure that he was okay. Pushing lightly against it, he tensed up only to relax once I used my other hand to gently rub at his sides. My middle finger had gone in until the first knuckle and he was tense once more, clenching tightly around the first third of my finger – it was sure to come off if he didn’t let up. The rubbing was only doing so much, so leaning up, I captured his lips in my own trying to distract him from the feeling – thank you, amateur porn. Slipping my finger all the way in, he whined against my lips causing me to shush him like how a mother would when her child was in pain. Waiting until he gave me the okay to move, he kissed my cheek nodding a little, so bringing my finger out a little I thrusted it back in.

Moving my finger in and out, he soon became desperate whining for more and not being one to deny him, I stuck my pointer finger in beside my middle finger. His face contorted in pain and waiting until he got used to sudden stretch, I began to scissor him open making sure to stretch him good as I didn’t want him to tear or anything. He soon started to meet my fingers, moaning quietly while pepper kissing around my face. My dick throb and jumped at every sound he made, and it was honestly painful to wait but I knew that this was something that couldn’t be rushed. Adding a third finger, I finally hit what I was looking for which had him screaming, head falling back in pleasure.

“I-I can’t wait anymore, put it in.” I was thrown a little off guard at the sudden demand that he had given me, but I did as I was told.

Pulling my fingers out, he whined at the loss causing me to smirk as I ripped off my underwear noticing the dark spot that had covered the top of it. It slapped harshly against my stomach, a hiss leaving my lips at the sudden cold that had interrupted my warmth. Lining myself up, I froze wanting to be reassured that this was what we both wanted.

“Are you sure?” My throat was tight as I squeezed the words out because I can jerk-off and go to bed.

“If you ask me that again, I’m going to punch you.” He nodded even though his words were harsh, so pushing in I was stopped by his hand coming out to hit below my chest. “Slowly, idiot.”

Going at a snail pace now, I pressed myself flush against him bottoming out. Our breathing was shaky as it filled the room, us staying like that, unmoving, for longer than need – just to be sure. Taking a deep breath, I held it slowly pulling out, grinding my way back in not wanting to thrust into him too hard, just yet. After getting used to that pace, I picked it up going faster and harder liking the way how he screamed my name every time I had come in contact with his prostate. The pleasure I was feeling had me blacking out for a few seconds only for me to come back to see that I had his thighs gripped tightly in my hands as I slammed into him. He was surely to bruise, but like I said I’ll take care of him no matter what it is.

“ah – fuck! H-Hanbin, please!” His dick laid neglected on his stomach, the hardest I have ever seen it, so letting his left thigh go I changed our position.

Throwing his leg over my shoulder, I continued my fast and hard pace this time with my hand gripped tightly around his shaft slowly stroking it wanting us to come together. Kissing his neck, I nibbled at the skin before giving it a few hard sucks wanting it to be known that he was mine. Once the skin started to darken, I kissed it only to move onto another area of his neck doing the exact same thing. Jerking him off faster, we were both close as my stomach and balls had tightened up uncomfortably while he clenched around me as if there was no tomorrow.

“I love you.” Slamming into him, I came so hard that my whole body shook violently.

“I love you, too!” His scream filled the room as he came all over his stomach and my hand leaving us to just stare at each other for a minute.

He groaned announcing to me that he was uncomfortable, so lightly taking his leg off my shoulder, I rubbed my hand on the sheets before slowly pulling out. When I had pulled out all the way, my release chased me causing it to dribble out in tiny beads.

“Didn’t I tell you not to stare?” Snapping out of the trance that I had entered, I apologized moving to lay next to him too tired to take a shower. “We should bathe.”

“Mhm, too tired.” Grabbing the blanket that had been pushed into the wall in our “haste”, I threw it over us pulling him into me.

“Come on, this’ll be hard to get out.” Sighing, I threw the blanket away jumping over him, stretching a little as I waited for him to follow. “I can’t – move.”

Covering my mouth to hide my laughter, I knew it was my fault but his little pout was just too cute. Scooping him up bridal-style, more came out of him as he suddenly clenched up on to relax which was disgusting now that I look at it for a second time. Taking us into the bathroom, he flicked on the light for me and sitting him on the toilet I turned on the faucet to run us a bath seeing as how he said we should bathe. Also, I can’t spend the whole shower holding him up. The air around us had become filled with shyness at what we had just done and not to mention that we were both naked and about to take a bath together. Looking away from him, I had suddenly gone back the middle school me who was scared at the thought of someone else loving me the way that my parents loved one another. But here I am, now, deeply in love with someone who loves me as much as I love them – fate works in mysterious ways.

The water was at a good enough level, so turning it off, I helped him into the water getting in right behind him. Sighing at the hotness of the water, my muscles relaxed causing me to sink further into the water. His back was soon pressed against my chest, the both of us fully relaxed and seemingly without a care in the world. Tilting my head, I watched as he played in the water making me wonder if he wanted bubbles because I could make some.

“You know,” He flinched a little, my voice snapping him out of whatever bubble he entered, only to glance over and up at me. “In the time you weren’t talking to me, and avoiding me, I realized how meaningless my everyday life was without you. I spent so much time wanting to be next to you, kissing you and hugging you, that I didn’t even think that one day you might leave me.”

“I’m not going to lie, but you really broke my heart, when you did what you did. And I know, you didn’t do it on purpose but I couldn’t help but feel as if you had, and that was wrong of me. Then when I thought that maybe it was for the best if we just broke up so that you could be free to do whatever you want, my heart had stopped beating for a few seconds. I tried to picture life without you or with someone else and I drew a blank. A drew a big fat blank and I was stuck.” Running my fingers through his hair, I played in the now wet strands as they were soft to the touch. “When I had told you to get out, you don’t know how bad I wanted to tell you to stay instead. I really didn’t want you to leave me.”

“I guess it’s a good thing that I stayed even though you told me to leave.” Chuckling, I grabbed my body wash nudging him to hold out his hands as I forgot to the get us wash cloths. “Let’s just go back to the way we were, okay?”

“We can try, but it won’t be easy though because we know what had happened.” Nodding, I watched as he ran his hands over his body, my eyes following every last movement. “Actually, I think the us now I better than the us that was still in our own high school love story. We’ve matured now, and we both know what we want, so let’s just stay like this.”

“So I won’t get any kisses and hugs anymore?” Splashing water back at me, I wiped my face enjoying his laughter that held nothing but joy.

“The love we’ll have this time around will be the same but less cheesy, okay?” Holding out his pinky for me to take, I hooked it with my own before bringing it to my lips to kiss it – the taste of scented soap wasn’t pleasant. “Or cheesier, either one is fine with me.”

By the time we finished talking and cleaning ourselves, the water had gone cold, so draining it I helped him out for a second time. Wrapping him in a towel, I spun us around as we were now towel buddies and taking him into the bedroom I sat him in my computer chair as I needed to change the bed sheets. I’ll just worry about us first. Grabbing him a pair of underwear and an old t-shirt, I tossed it to him causing him to catch it with ease while I put on my own underwear and sweatpants as I don’t really like sleeping with shirts on.

Swapping out the bed sheets, I threw the others one in the hamper to be washed tomorrow whenever I felt like doing it. Probably after I get back from my afternoon class, if I even go. Pushing the chair towards the bed, he jumped on it getting comfortable and doing the same I threw the blanket back over us ready to not be bothered for the rest of the night. Maybe, unless he wanted a round two, then I was totally up for that.

“You alone are enough for me, okay? I don’t want anyway else, so please don’t make it so that I have to think about leaving you again.” Turning to face me, tears rolled down his face and pulling him into me I put our heads together smiling like the idiot I was.

“As long as you still love me, I won’t have a reason to make you leave me.” Gently wiping his tears away, I promised myself to never make him cry again, unless they were tears of joy.

Ugh, I love him so much.


	13. RHYTHM TA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is just a song so get on the Rhythm!" -iKON

When morning came, I was a little surprised to find a body sprawled out over across my own, but then the memories from last night flooded back in. The guys were going to get some fun out of this. Sliding him off me, he let out this whine causing me to push him a little slower as he seemed to be in pain. Scooting down the bed, I stood taking a quick glance at the clock knowing that I’d have to start getting ready or else I’ll be late. I can’t believe I slept in like this – I needed it though because I was exhausted. Calling Jinhwan, I couldn’t leave him alone already knowing that he really couldn’t move all that well last night meaning that it had to be worse today. He agreed which I expected as he told me vivid details of his first time which meant that he could help – ugh, I’m thinking about it again.

Going into the bathroom, I washed up before coming back out and putting on my uniform – yes, we had to wear uniforms. At least they were police issued. I was buttoning up my shirt when he had started banging on my door screaming at me to let him in. They were sure to get me kicked out. Lightly jogging to open the door for him, he gave me this weird look only to push past me jumping onto my couch.

“Good morning to you, too.” Waving his hand at me, I rolled my eyes going back into my room to finish getting ready.

Tucking in my shirt, I pulled the belt tight and fixing my tie, I was ready to go. Turning to the other who was still sound asleep, I squatted down lightly shaking him away. His eyes snapped open and upon seeing me he tried to roll over only stopping before coming back on his stomach. Laughing, he yelled at me to get away from him as I was indeed laughing at his pain.

“Jinhwan is here to help you if you need anything. I’m going to class, or more so training, whatever I’m leaving.” Heading towards the door, I grabbed my bag reminding myself to grab my papers off the table. “I’ll see you later.”

“Have fun.” Closing the door, I grabbed my papers off the table stuffing them in my bag.

“I’m leaving, Jinnie.” He sat up glaring at me as if I had done something wrong, so ruffling his hair I ran out the door grabbing my wallet and phone.

Arriving at the academy, I entered class only for everyone to be split into groups of four but we’ll be working with partners. They said we’d be starting field training and the first thing on that training was conducting traffic stops with the help of officers already in the field. Looking at my partner, I was a little giddy for multiple reasons and he looked as if he’d rather be somewhere else.

“I’m Hanbin.” Holding out my hand, he took it in a firm grip almost shaking my arm off.

“Wonwoo.” Nodding, he let me go walking towards our mentor who held a kind smile.

It was hard to get acquainted with him as he wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone, but by the end of our training we had exchanged numbers, so I did something right. Rushing to clean up, I kept checking my phone looking at the many congratulatory messages from our idiot friends. Putting the last cone away, I put on my jacket ready to leave when I was stopped by a few of my classmates – who’ve been asking me to party with them since we started.

“Party at my house tonight. Starts around 7, but get there whenever, and I’m not taking no for an answer this time, Kim.” The one who normally threw the parties spoke, patting my shoulder in a way that meant he wanted to see me there. “See you at 7.”

Sighing, I watched them walk away laughing in excitement about the party that they were going to have so much fun at. Shouldering my bag, I made my way towards the bus stop wondering how I was going to get out of this without one of them trying to corner me next week. I can’t wait to graduate. Making it home, Jinhwan came out of the kitchen with an apron and gloves on causing me to wonder if he was cleaning or cooking. Shrugging it off, I looked towards the couch to see that Bobby was here chatting it up with Yunhyeong about something I more than likely couldn’t understand. They didn’t talk much but when they did it was always only something that they only understood. Going into the bedroom, I changed out of my uniform throwing it in the hamper to be washed along with the soiled sheets and any other laundry that I had. Putting on something more comfortable, I flopped down on the couch starting at the clock as I had a little over 4 hours to decide on what I want to do.

“So -,” All attention was now on me and I barely even said anything, they must have been expecting me to say something. “I got invited to a party and I need to find a way to get out of it. Any ideas?”

“Why do you want to get out of it?” Shrugging, I had my reason but they didn’t need to know about it – they already knew too much. “Well, just say that your mom got sent to the hospital or something along those lines.”

“They literally go to a police academy, it’ll be easy for them to figure out if he’s lying or not, idiot.” Jinhwan came plopping down in front of Bobby with a smile on his face. “Let’s just go.”

“Let’s? How did you just insert yourself into the party I’m trying not to go to?” Rolling my eyes, I looked at Yunhyeong who was staring at me not saying anything.

“Because it’s a party and we love to party; and, not to mention, we’ll be going back to school in a few weeks, so we need to have as much fun as possible.” Why were my friends no real help?

“Then party on campus, once you go back.” Both Bobby and Jinhwan, sucked their teeth at my words causing me to wonder where all this attitude was coming from.

“Just go, Hanbin.” I was more than surprised by his words as we both knew that I was going to continue standing by my promise. “It’s fine, just go. I need to go home anyway.”

“No! You’re coming with us, and you have no way out!” Bobby jumped up placing his hands on his pointing at Yunhyeong as if he was some superhero of villain, either or. “I’ll call the others and tell them to come over. Donghyuk should have some clothes that you can wear Yunhyeong.”

Those two went off into different parts of my home making phone calls among other things, leaving Yunhyeong and I to stare after them. Turning towards him, he smiled patting my leg as if to say that it was really okay. I wonder what Jinhwan has been saying to him while I was training – it was probably something wild and not at all true. Leaning back, my head rested on the top of the couch as I had no way out now. They were really no help at all.

Time seemed to move fast because before I knew it, my living room was crawling with the six of us – Chanwoo had a project to work on – all bustling around trying to look presentable for the party. I found no real reason to do so as they’ll more than likely never see these people ever again, but I kept that to myself.

“It’s a house party, it might get hot.” They all shrugged still putting on their jackets causing me to do the same as I wasn’t really one to talk.

We were all dressed and ready to go, the only problem was that we all wouldn’t fit in Bobby’s car unless someone either rode in the trunk or lapped up. Junhoe had the great idea of doing a game and the last person had to sit on someone’s lap, so we did the ladder game. I jumped in excitement at the fact that I wouldn’t have to sit on anyone’s lap, but as it slowly got down to the last two I couldn’t help but sweat a little. It was a match between Donghyuk and Yunhyeong who had decided that it was best to play rock-paper-scissors instead of the ladder game. If Yunhyeong lost that meant I would have to sit in the back, but if Donghyuk lost that I meant I got to sit in the front – the only problem was whose lap would he be sitting in? This is all illegal, and I very well know of the dangers of riding like this, but they were hardheaded with partying being the only thing on their minds. While I was lost in my thoughts, they had played their last set and watching Donghyuk jump away excitedly I could only sigh as I would be stuck next to the loudest couple on earth.

“It seems that the virgin – oh wait, the no-longer-a-virgin couple will be lapping up!” Scowling, I took his hand in mine kicking everyone out of my apartment so that I could lock the door. “So, was it good Yunhyeong?”

“Yah! Don’t ask him that, you sound like a creep.” Kicking my leg out, I tried to hit Junhoe but he moved just in time for me to end up twirling a little.

“I’m just curious.” When isn’t he curious? “Don’t worry, I’ll get Jinhwan to tell me.”

“YAH!” Those two ran off getting into the car giggling like schoolgirls causing me to look at Yunhyeong who was laughing as well. “Did you tell him?”

“He wouldn’t stop slapping my ass and lower back until I did. Sorry, but the pain was too much.” I couldn’t really be mad at him as I would probably have done the same thing – Jinhwan has now entered my death list. “He also questioned me about the hand shaped bruises that were imprinted onto my thighs.”

Sliding into our seat, I patted my lap causing him to sit down, blush hidden in the darkness of the car. Pulling the seatbelt as far as it could go, I buckled the both of us in moving the part that went across our chest behind me as it was chocking him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I laid my head on his back waiting for Bobby to get his pre-game music together before driving off. The ride was smooth besides the loudness that Koo Junhoe was as he screamed ever last song as if it was the last one. By the time we pulled up on the party, it was in full swing as people were rushing into the gate that hid the yard that was filled with the music from inside.

Bobby parked in a line of other cars that filled the side of the road, and we all piled out staring at the huge home in front of us. He never said anything about being rich, well who would when you’re in an academy full of people who didn’t want to go to college. Arms snaked around my own causing me to look over to see that Yunhyeong was smiling at me, and it reminded me of the first time we had met. The only thing missing was my bike that I’m sure my dad was having fun with and the snapback that usually had tightly snapped on my head. The setting, clothing, and group of people were different but the feeling was the exact same – the feeling that had made me believe in love at first sight.

“Come on, this is your friend, isn’t it?” I wanted to shake my head because we weren’t friends, barely acquaintances, but I nodded not wanting to explain anything. 

Leading us inside, the one who was throwing the party ran over to me with so much enthusiasm that I was sure he was to shed his skin and turn into a new person.

“You made it! And you brought others – the more the merry, I say. Drinks are in the kitchen and by the gate over there. They’re having some sort of dance battle out in the backyard, and other than that the vibe is really chill, right now.” Turning to ask them where they wanted to go first, I was met the sight of their backs as two headed into the backyard and the other two went the gate where the drinks were.

“Thanks.” He smiled before walking away to greet the others who were arriving. “Do you want to get a drink?”

“Sure.” I was a little skeptical but he nodded pulling me into the house.

Entering the kitchen, I got us both beers not wanting to do anything strong tonight just in case the others were drunk off their asses. I was in the process of getting my license, so I could drive us if needed. Handing him his beer, he kept his arm wrapped tightly around my own as we made our way through the crowds of people heading towards the backyard. Once outside, I leaned myself against the gate watching Donghyuk dance as if his life depending on it with Bobby hyping him and the crowd up. Smiling, a body was suddenly pressed into mine causing me to flinch, broken memories of that day hitting me. It took a few deep breathes for me to realize that it was Yunhyeong, he was just trying to get a better look at what was going on.

After the dance battle broke up, everyone went back to whatever they were doing, whether it was light swaying to the music or playing beer pong on an expensive glass table. That was sure to get broken by the end of the night. Junhoe and Jinhwan had made their way to the backyard amidst the excitement of the battle, and like always they came straight to us both looking a little tipsy.

“Are you two just going to stand there like cardboard cutouts?” Glancing around, everyone else was doing something – even if it was virtually nothing – leaving us to look as if we didn’t want to be here.

“Do you have any suggestions?” Slinging my arm over Yunhyeong’s shoulder, I moved my beer from one hand to the other noticing that it was still full.

“Come inside with us, the music is better in there anyway.” Sighing, I allowed Yunhyeong to pull me forward as we followed behind the two who were more than likely crashing at my place tonight – I still had laundry to do.

The house was warm from all the people in it only for it to cool down as they all started to make their way out into the backyard and front of the house complaining about it being house. Of course it’ll be hot with all these people in here. Bringing my beer to my lips, I took a big gulp gagging at the bitter taste as they had gotten the cheap stuff. The music that was playing inside wasn’t necessarily better than the one outside as it was the exact same song, but at least in the house we could control the music. Leaning against another wall as I didn’t want to sit down – I don’t want to be responsible for anything breaking on my watch. I brought the bottle to my lips once more and it seemed as if I had only blinked because Bobby was standing next to the music pressing randomly as if he owned it. Where did he even come from?

A loud hard-hitting bass came through the speakers causing everyone to freeze for a second and when the rest of the instruments came in it had gotten crazy from there. Girls were going wild, and the guys were eating it up. The song was one I personally liked but I was afraid that they’d try and get me to dance, and to be honest I wasn’t really one for dancing at parties.

“Don’t act like a hotshot, I know you want to play.” Laughing, I started nodding my head along to the beat giving in to Yunhyeong’s words because it was just a song.

The next few songs that played were almost alike to the first, and if the crowd wasn’t bouncing along, our small group would have looked dumb. We were having the time of our lives and it seemed as though no one could stop us. We partied well into the night but as the alcohol started diminishing and people were starting to stumble around, I knew that it was time for us to go home. Grabbing Jinhwan and Junhoe, Yunhyeong grabbed Bobby and Donghyuk bringing them outside to meet me and the other two who were in fact drunk off their asses. It was just as I said. Pushing the four of them into the back of Bobby’s car, they figured out how they’d sit on their own leaving Yunhyeong and I to take the front two seats. Sticking the key in the ignition, the car roared to life and pulling out of the spot he parked in I started making my way back to my apartment.

At least we all had fun, and no problems arose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it for the Welcome Back Album. The only two songs I didn't use were 'I Miss You So Bad' and 'Dumb & Dumber'.


	14. Ah - Ah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You, baby, you excite me, baby in my heart. I'll be honest, I wanna be with you from morning to morning, just us two." - Teen Top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If your curious, it's the same puppy from the Dumb & Dumber Music video.

Like Jinhwan said school for them was coming in close, and being the good boyfriend that I was, I wanted to have fun with my lover before we both got too busy for each other. He basically spent every day at my apartment, be it in the morning or afternoon, he always found his way in. Not like I minded or anything, but this particular week he was at home with his parents.

I had gotten my license a week earlier and my grandparents were so kind as to let me have their car as they didn’t drive it – I truly love them. The car was fairly new, one of the latest models as my grandpa wanted to be flashy for once, only for them to only drive it once. Cleaning it out, and filling it with my things, I drove myself to and from the academy everyday showing off.

Seeing as how he’s with his parents, I thought why not pick him up. The train ride is a little over an hour so driving there shouldn’t take me all that long; plus, I had promised him that he’d be the first to ride in it. It took a lot to deter my parents and friends, but I had kept my promise. The drive there was peaceful as I hyped myself up, ready to see him again. He said that he had done something amazing in the last two weeks and he was excited to show me. Which meant that I had to be even more excited in case it wasn’t exciting at all. Laughing at myself, I was sure I looked crazy to others but they should just stay in their own cars, thank you very much. Turning on the radio, I cranked it up high enjoying the rest of my drive surrounded by music.

Arriving, I parked in the driveway with a huge smile on my face as I fixed my clothing and hair – I needed a haircut but nobody had to know that. Walking up to the front door, I was suddenly attacked by a puppy as it gnawed on my pants leg. Bending down, I unlatched it from my leg, picking up to get a better look at it. It was cute. Carrying it in one hand as it was so small, I entered the house and the first thing I saw was Yunhyeong looking around as if he lost something.

“Looking for something?” He jumped violently before turning to look at me, seeing the puppy first.

“Lucky!” Taking the puppy from my hand, he kissed it walking away cooing at it.

“Uh, I’m here too.” I was completely ignored for a dog – this is a new low.

“I know. You were carrying the dog when you entered.” Sitting on the ground with said dog, he watched it roll around in between his legs.

“Who’s dog is that?” Finally entering the home, I sat on the couch feeling a little jealous at the scene.

“My dad’s. He brought it because he was lonely without me in the house. Isn’t that right, Lucky? Aww, you’re so cute.” The cooing continued leaving me to play with the watch on my wrist that I had gotten for Christmas, the one his dad gave me.

“Hanbin?” Glancing towards the kitchen, his mother emerged causing me to stand as I bowed in greeting. “You got here earlier than expected. Did you take an early train?”

“No, Mother. I drove.” Taking out the keys that I had stuffed in my pocket, they both seemed surprised – they were one in the same.

“When did you get a car? Because last week you didn’t have one.” Running through a shortened version of the story, they both nodded before going back to what they were doing. “Give me a minute and we can go, okay.”

Nodding, I sat back taking in his new appearance as he looked good – he looked like a hot piece of your favorite pie right out of the oven with ice cream on top. Stop Hanbin! His mother is in the next room! He had cut his hair dying it blonde for this photo shoot he did for the fashion department as they asked him to model for them. I didn’t know all the details but it didn’t matter because he looked good. He always looked good.

Biting my lip, I became a little gooey while staring at him and it wasn’t until he threw one of the dog’s toys at me that I remembered where I was. Huffing, he stood leaving the puppy to run to me trying to get my attention. Picking him up again, I laid him in my lap watching as he played a game of tug-of-war with my fingers. Chuckling, the sound of bags hitting the floor had me looking over to see that he had everything and was ready to go. Telling him to give me a minute, he glared probably feeling the same jealousy I was earlier when he had taken the puppy from my hands. Putting the dog down, I stood taking his bags and bidding his mom farewell, we headed towards my car together.

Popping the trunk, I careful sat the bags in the trunk not really knowing what his surprise was and if it was in one of the bags. Jogging around the car, I got in staring at him for a few minutes as he seemed distracted by something. Leaning over the armrest, I stuck my tongue out licking his face causing him to push me away disgusted by my saliva. I don’t know why? More than my saliva has been on him.

“That’s gross, Binnie!” His whining was cute causing me to pucker my lips waiting for my kiss. “I don’t want to.”

“Then we’re going to sit in the driveway all day and night.” Pushing myself back into my seat, I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel in wait.

I heard the seat move under his weight causing me to turn catching his lips before they planted themselves on my cheek. Holding my face, he kissed me a few more times leaving me to smile like an idiot.

“Let’s go eat. I’m starving.” Rolling my eyes, I nodded not understanding how he didn’t eat when he’s been at home all this time.

Starting the car, I pulled out of the driveway and back onto the road listening to the directions he gave me for this diner. It was the first time I ever took a good look around where he’s parents moved to and it was basically a farming town, but with a lot of businesses. I ended up missing my turn as I was too deep in my own thoughts causing him to sigh loudly before he started going on this long speech about being aware of your surroundings and blah blah. Nodding along like the good son that I was, he slapped my arm noticing that I wasn’t really listening to him – it burned. Turning around, I started listening again and as we pulled up on the small diner I couldn’t help but think that it looked straight out of an 80s American movie.

Grabbing my hand in his own, he pulled me behind him practically skipping, either from the food or genuine happiness. Entering, we grabbed seats by the window wanting to soak in the sun more, or whatever it was that he explained it as. A waitress came over handing us menus before taking our drink order and leaving. He suddenly stood running back out to the car causing my eyes to follow him as he threw open the trunk rummaging through his bags. He came back a few seconds later with a thick stack of papers and when he sat it down I realized that it was a magazine.

“Remember how I told you that the Fashion Design major was doing a photo shoot for the end of summer and beginning of school?” Nodding, he smiled while flipping through the book stopping close to a half-way point. “Well, look who’s a star.”

Turning it around, he pushed it towards me and the only thing I could see was long legs that stood out against the shorts that he wore. Blinking, I had to stop my mind from wandering because I’ll end up dragging him out of here and into the back of the car. The socks that he wore fully pulled up did nothing to hide the definition of muscle that were his legs. Taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I flipped through the pages seeing the many different pairs of shorts that he wore along with the few photos that he wore ripped jeans in. I was suddenly disgusted by the sight of Bobby in shorts as his photo had popped up after Yun’s spread was done – I need to wash my eyes.

“So, what do you think?” Moving the magazine down a little, I peeked over the top edge to see that he was waiting expectantly.

“Do you still have those shorts?” That was not supposed to be the first words out of my mouth, but they were the only thought going through my mind.

He gave me this knowing smirk that I ignored in favor of ordering as the waitress was back with our drinks. Once our order was placed, I turned back to him choking a little as he was playing with his straw between his lips while staring at me. No, calm down, Hanbin. He’s only waiting on an answer for his spread that is actually objective.

“It’s good – you look good.” Giving me a wide grin, I returned it already knowing that I’ll be having to ward off creeps that want to see his legs. “Oh, do you want me to drop you off at your dorm or are you coming home with me?”

“Sir, please stop trying to take me home, it’s pathetic.” Kicking his leg, he laughed loud with his head thrown back causing others to stare at us in wonder. “Nah, but I really need to start getting ready for the upcoming semester, so the dorms please.”

Nodding, I had already made up my mind on wanting to do something with him, so he’ll be coming home with me and I’ll take him to the dorms tomorrow - I just wanted to hear his answer. We ate in light chatter when I food arrived as he told me about all the stuff he did with his parents while I talked about my training at the academy, it was the only thing I was really doing at the moment. He offered to pay for the bill even though I was pretty adamant on paying it myself, but he had slipped the girl the money when I wasn’t look, so I left her a tip.

Getting back in the car, I drove as if I was heading towards the college, but when it was time to get off on that exit, I bypassed it. He immediately noticed asking if I knew where I was going causing me to nod as we didn’t want to be late, the climb was pretty steep. Taking an exit four down from the one he wanted me to, I slowed down a little looking for the sign that would tell me where to park once I came upon it. Shushing him, he continued to ask where we were going which wasn’t all that bad once you learn to zone him out but then the poking started. Sighing, loudly, I found the sign and turning into the parking lot it wasn’t as full as I thought it would be. Jumping out, I closed the door walking around the car to see that he wasn’t getting out – when did he become such a brat?

“Are you going to sit in there and fry or come out?” It was humid from an impending rain that was sure to come later tonight, and it was only going to get hotter as the heat was pretty high as well. “Yunnie?”

Tapping on the window, he started grumbling under his breath before opening the door and getting out. Slinging my arm over his shoulder, I didn’t really care about his grumbling as he was going to enjoy the view while I enjoyed the fresh air. I need to clear my mind and prepare myself for the upcoming long months of training that’ll lead me towards a somewhat bright future. Coming to the bottom of the steep steps, we took our first step at the time until we were making a small game out of it, trying to see how long we could go for. It lasted for a while until we got the half-way point only to find out that we were nowhere near halfway.

“H-Hanbin, can we go home? I’m dying!” Stopping, I was a few steps ahead of causing me to look back and see that he was leaning against the railing. “My legs hurt so much.”

“We’ve only been climbing for less than 20 minutes. How are you already tired?” The fact that he used to be able to outrun me seems like a myth with the shape he’s in now. “Come on, get on.”

Squatting down, I watched as he rushed towards me slumping on my back, relief washing over his face. Lazy. Gripping his thighs, I stood hiking him up a little waiting for his arms to hold my neck before I continued the rest of the climb for us. Making it to the top, he jumped off running towards the thick wooden railing that kept others from falling or trying to jump off. Shaking my head, I pulled out my phone already knowing that he’d want pictures. My phone was filled with so many pictures of that if anyone had happened to just peek over while I was scrolling through the photos they would think that I’m a creep or pervert.

“Yunhyeong?” Calling his name, he looked back causing me to snap the first of many photos.

We took a few together but they were mainly individual photos of each other. Sitting down, I leaned back into the bench watching as the sun was getting ready to set which was the main reason I brought him here. He flopped down in my lap as if the bench we were on was occupied by others.

“You know; I’m not going to make it back to the dorms on time.” Acting surprised, I gasped causing him to turn fully until he was straddling my waist. “You’re horrible.”

“I’m glad you finally figure it out, now it’s time for me to reveal my real self.” Grabbing at my chin, I acted as if I was going to pull off my face and when it wouldn’t move, I turned around before giving him a funny face.

“That’s so ugly.” Dropping the face, I pouted a little missing the way how his face lit up. “Bet, I can one up you.”

“Impossible, but you can try.” Crossing my arms over my chest in wait, he prepared himself only for him to show me a face that wasn’t ugly at all. “I’ve seen better for Chanwoo when he’s not doing anything.”

“Did you just call my cousin ugly?” Shrugging, he slapped my chest but it only made me laugh. “That means I’m ugly by association.”

“Mhm~.” His face turned up at my lack of comfort for him as he knew that he and Chanwoo are not actually ugly, but in the joking sense they couldn’t be cured.

“Fine, I guess I’ll keep my shorts to myself.” The sun was gone the moment he said that leaving a light pink tint behind. “We missed the sunset!”

“That’s because you suddenly tried to one up my ugly face.” He stood causing me to follow as we argued all the way down the hill trying to figure out who was at fault for us missing it.

Of course it was both our faults as we should have been paying attention, but neither one of us wanted to take the blame. In the end, we settled on putting the sun at fault because it went down too fast. Driving us back to my place, I carried his bags inside while he walked behind me drumming a beat into my back and ass laughing at the sound that it made. At least, he didn’t use all his strength to do so or else I wouldn’t have an ass. Opening the door, I dropped the bags by the couch flopping down onto it ready to relax for the rest of the evening.

“I’m going to take a shower!” Humming, the sound of the bathroom light coming on was enough for me to acknowledge that he was actually going to take a shower.

Turning on the TV, I flipped through the channels before landing on some drama that Bobby was telling me that Donghyuk was obsessing over. They might as well dorm together seeing as how Bobby is practically living in the room with them; and Yun can just move in with me. That would be nice – the two of us living together – because I can take him to school and pick him up, and I wouldn’t have to worry about if he’s okay all the time as we’d be together. I should make that one of my goals after graduation, but I’ll have to get his opinion on it first. I might as well just ask him when he gets done with his shower.

“ _You should just come to me already. We’ve been playing this game of tug-of-war since we were children. You practically live with me!_ ” Nodding only to the last statement that the character had made, it was true as we were already practically living together.

“ _I-I can’t! We both want different things in life, and I can’t continue to sacrifice myself for you. I love you – I really do, but I’m not in love with you._ ” Wow, that hurt and the words weren’t even directed at me.

“ _Fine, then get the hell out of my life. I never want to see you again._ ” He turned running back to his car causing me to shake my head as he should have pressed on and gotten more answers out of her.

Oh, no! I’m turning into an old lady.

“What are you watching?” The other main character in this melodrama that we call life entered the living room drying his hair with a towel.

“Some drama Donghyuk’s been obsessing over.” Sitting down, he stared at the TV watching the commercial that had suddenly came on. “I’m sure an accident is going to happen when they come back from break.”

“Of course, how else is she going to feel horrible about the way that she’s been treating him.” True, it was also one of the only ways scriptwriters knew how to move the plot along and heighten the drama. “When did you start watching dramas?”

“When did you start watching dramas? You seem to know more about it than I do.” We were idiots as we literally sat through the rest of the commercial break thinking about it. “I guess, in the military? Whenever we had free time I was either listening to music, writing, or watching dramas with others.”

“I watch them with my mom whenever I go home, so it’s been a while for me too.” Oh, god, we were an old married couple that watches dramas together – well, not together really but you get what I’m saying.

Laughing, the accident scene had started causing our attention to drift from each other to the screen. The guy was speeding down the road, tears in his eyes at fact that he was rejected, and like any drama you see the light of the other car and the frantic face of the main character. The sounds of sirens filled the black screen before showing the body that hung upside in its car, kept in place by the seatbelt he was wearing. They went through the whole thing of rushing him to the hospital and the girl running in wildly into the emergency room after being informed about the situation only a few minutes before. Heading towards the nurse, she frantically asked for the guy that she had just rejected and that where were it ended – cliffhanger.

“Well, that was expected.” He suddenly stood stretching a little causing me to stare at him.

“Where are you going?” Pointing to the kitchen, I already knew that he was going to try and cook, even though we had eaten only a few hours ago. “We just ate, Yun.”

“It’s been a little over 3 hours since we did, and it isn’t that late, meaning that we’ll be hungry again.” Why was he such a mother? “Fine, I’ll cook later.”

Sitting back down, he turned off the TV as what came on next wasn’t something that we were particularly interested in. Pulling a pillow to my chest, I hugged it tight watching him as he got on his phone looking at it with so much focus that I’m sure he’ll have forehead wrinkles in the future. Would we still be together in the future? I hope so, but then again, the future isn’t always clear. Of course, I want to be with him for a long time but there might come a time when we both fall in love with other people. We’ll breakup and live our lives with complete strangers; and if that day ever does come I hope that we can still be friends.

“What are you thinking so intensely about? You’re going to tear the couch pillow apart.” Glancing down at the pillow in my arms, I was holding onto it tighter than I should have.

“Do you want to live together?” He stilled, phone turning off in the process as he just stared at me for a while – it was longer than I had expected to be honest. “Not right now, just whenever you’re ready.”

“Can you wait until graduation?” Sucking on my bottom lip, I nodded because I waited all this time for us to have sex, what’s a year and a half going to do? “Then, I’ll move in with you once graduation rolled around.”

“Okay, I’d really like that.” Biting on my finger, he crawled across the couch taking my finger from my mouth replacing it with his lips. “I like that too.”

“Well, I can show you those shorts now. If you want -,” Scooping him up, I carried him like a child into my bedroom not caring to hear anything else he had to say.

I needed to see those shorts in person.


	15. See Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wanna go see the ocean babe? (You & I) If I'm with you I'm down down down down." -Hyolyn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little end of summer fun. Also, don't worry I'll start using the NK:B era songs.

It was the last weekend before they started classes up again, and Jinhwan had the wonderful idea of going to the beach. Originally, I thought he was joking but then he had sent the whole group a date and time to meet up. The meet up spot was Jinhwan’s parents place as they had the spare key to his older sister’s house in Jeju. She was gone on business and gave him the okay to use it, and he was quick to jump on the opportunity roping us in with him.

Throwing the many bags into my trunk, I looked at Bobby to see that he was doing the same with a scowl on his face. Sighing, I looked to my right to see Chanwoo and Jaewon as they were all over each other as if no one else was outside with them. Weirdos. A hand came up patting my waist causing me to glance back to the right to see that Yunhyeong was smiling at me with a thick pair of sunglasses on.

“Chanwoo and Jaewon are riding with us, right?” He nodded which made me smirk as I was going to smooth out that relationship that those two had.

“Yah! Don’t touch me.” We – Chanwoo, Jaewon, Yunhyeong and I – all stopped what we were doing to see Jinhwan dodging every single last touch that Junhoe tried to give him.

“What’s wrong with them, Hyung?” Shrugging, I closed the trunk leaning on it a little watching in amusement. “Hyung, are we going to have to change our seating?”

I was about to shake my head as it wouldn’t be likely, but suddenly Junhoe was coming over to us throwing Chanwoo towards them.

“I’m riding with you.” He got in the back sounding as if he was rip the world apart if anyone said anything against it.

Giving Chan an apologetic look, I told Jaewon to get in already knowing that those two wanted to ride together. Yunhyeong got in the back so that he could talk to his best friend, and Jaewon got up front with me looking nervous. My smile had become mischievous because we were now close enough for me to lay the foundation down. Bobby drove off first with the guidance of Jinhwan who seemed to be grumpier than we had originally thought – well, the look on Donghyuk’s face was an indicator of that. Following behind him, I kept the radio off trying to listen to the soft whispers of the two in the back as if there was a barrier separating the car in two.

“So, Jaewon, right?” He flinched before turning to look at me, eyes shy as he stared at my side profile.

“Y-Yeah, Hyung. I’ve been to your place a few times before.” Clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth as it was a known fact, as he had eaten my favorite chips one time. “Did you need something?”

“You and Chanwoo are dating, right?” He chocked a little only to sputtering spit all over my dashboard.

“Uh – w-we’re best friends?” Rolling my eyes, I took my eyes off the road for a spilt second to look at his confused face.

“Cut the bullshit, we know that there is more going on between you two and that’s fine. You’re both 3rd years this year, so it isn’t like anyone is going oppose you two being together.” Nodding at my own words, he looked horrified at the fact that others had caught on to them. “Or did you two not make it official yet?”

“N-No, we did, I think? I don’t really know, Hyung.” They were being difficult for no reason. “I mean, we both put our feelings out there and we do go on dates now, but there isn’t really a title yet.”

“So, you two are going out!” I said it loud on purpose causing the whispering to stop as they were now fully invested on what was going on up front. “Well, I’m thankful that someone is willing to take that brat off of our hands.”

A warm hand smacked the back of my head making me almost lose control from the pain. Glaring at him through the rearview mirror, he rolled his eyes before going back to the conversation that he was having with Junhoe. Him and Chanwoo were one in the same – the older was just more violent, while the younger tended to say more hurtful things.

“I wouldn’t really say that he’s a brat; mhm, he’s chic?” Gagging, he laughed but I was genuinely disgusted as they were worse than Yun and I.

“Just don’t break his heart or anything, okay?” He was still laughing which had me tilting my head as my words weren’t funny at all.

Traffic had become heavy causing us to crawl forward slowly as if we were snails; and using this to my advantage, I fully turned towards the younger with a blank face. His laughter soon was reduced to nothing as he started coughing to hide his fear.

“I’m dead serious; if you break his hear, I’ll kill you and make it look like an accident.” Dropping my voice a few octaves, I watched as his whole body shivered before he gave me a bunch of quick nods. “How about some music?!”

The two in the back had finally ended their conversation leaving them to just lean back and watch the road and many cars around us. They nodded causing me to smile as I turned the radio on and up to a pretty high volume. Smiling at Jaewon one last time, he gulped quickly turning to stare out his window – my job here is done. The rest of the drive to the port was filled with loud singing from the two in the back who were trying to out loud each other – well, that was what it seemed like. Arriving at the port, we got in line with all the other cars and when our turn had come up I passed off the needed stuff before being handing some card to hang on the mirror. Thanking the staff, I waited behind Bobby as they were going to tell us when to board and where to park.

“We’re going to have so much fun! I haven’t been to the beach, or Jeju, since I was little.” Arms wrapped around my neck as he was hanging off of his seat in excitement. “Have you ever been Jaewon?”

“Uh, yeah, I go to the beach ever summer. It’s my dad’s way of having a small family vacation.” Well, that’s nice, my parents usually work extra hours in the summer.

“I don’t see what’s so great about it.” Junhoe’s thought had ruined the whole festive mood that was had going. “Water is water, sand is basically dirt, and the bugs are annoying.”

“Don’t think about it like that, June. Think about it like a calm, sun filled vacation, okay?” He scoffed at Yun’s words causing me to pat his arm in comfort because Junhoe was always like this.

“You and Jinhwan are made for each other.” The line had finally started to move, so pulling forward I ignored his scream of ‘What is that supposed to mean?!’.

We ended up parking in two different lanes as Bobby ended up being the last car in the lane. I was the first in the next lane, and after parking an attendant came over telling us to go up to the first floor and relax. Nodding, I told everyone to get out as the ferry ride wasn’t a long one but with June and Jinnie being like this it was sure to feel like one. Heading up to the deck, we met with the other four who were chatting calmly while waiting for us.

“Yo!” Bobby came to me the moment our eyes locked and by the look on Donghyuk’s face I could tell that they were close to ending up like the other two. “Follow me really quick.”

Leaving the group as confused as I was, we headed outside going to the front of the ship to lean against the railing. The ferry was still loading meaning that the only ocean that we really saw was divided in half by the land that we had just got off of. Taking a deep breath, I blew it out my nose slowly loving the smell of the water.

“Do you think I’m wrong?” Blinking slowly, I was even more confused because he hadn’t given me a back story. “Sorry, um, Junhoe and Jinhwan are arguing because Jinhwan wants them to finally date for real, but Junhoe thinks that everything is fine the way it is. He asked for our opinion the drive over here and I said that I didn’t see what the big deal is, and they all jumped on me. Then Dong started asking me if I wanted to be with him and I said the same thing Junhoe said. It’s fine as it is and if we’re both greedy for more then we’ll get together.”

“Why are you two such idiots?” Scratching his head, it was pretty clear that he was sure that he didn’t do anything wrong. “Jinhwan was on Junhoe the moment he realized that they had a lot in common and the same could be said for Donghyuk and you. They’re now just accepting the fact that they’re in love with you idiots and you two are pushing them away. It makes it seem as if you’re only with him for sex and the comfortableness that you two have, so if you’re really curious, yes, you are in the wrong.”

“Wh – I didn’t think about it like that, but I just don’t know at this moment. We’re all busy trying to graduate, so the aspect of us being in a relationship wasn’t one I made one of my priorities. Thanks, Hanbin.” Nodding, I patted his back before turning to head back inside as I was feeling a little hungry.

Going back to the six, who were sitting and chatting comfortably, I sat down next to Jaewon causing him to become a little stiff. The tension surrounding us made the air thick but I brushed it off focusing on eating whatever Yunhyeong had grabbed out of the snack cart. Pulling out my phone, I started surfing YouTube for something to watch as whatever beef they were having amongst themselves had nothing to really do with me. Finding some funny video compilation, I laughed throughout the rest of the ferry ride completely enjoying myself to my heart’s content. Somewhere in the middle of my laugh fest, the others tried to make up with each other only for it to become worse as they had no real idea on what to say – idiots.

“I’m riding with you.” Donghyuk got in the back next to Junhoe forcing Jaewon to ride with Chanwoo like he had originally planned to.

Yun had gotten in the front with me, eyebrows furrowed and concern covering his face, but I shook my head telling him that it’ll be fine by tonight. We’re only here for two days and one night anyway, they’ll be sure to make up. Following Bobby again, we arrived at the two story home that had a huge front yard that overlooked the beach we would be playing at. Maybe, I should become a lawyer, because the house was very extravagant. Parking in the long driveway that was hidden behind a large wooden gate, we all piled out staring at our surroundings.

“Did your sister win her last case?” Asking as I was genuinely curious, he laughed with a small smirk.

“How do you think she brought the pool?” We all turned to look at the pool that sparkled in the sunlight – when did that get here? “Well, let’s go in and decide on our rooms. There are four.”

“Two, two, two, two, right?” He nodded walking up to the house to unlock the door for us.

Opening the trunk, everyone who was originally supposed to ride in the car grabbed their things causing me to close it with a huff. Entering, everything was modern showing that she had redecorated since the last time we’ve been here which was about five years ago. Seeing as how Yun and I weren’t in disagreement at the moment we ran up to the second floor choosing our room first. Chanwoo and Jaewon took the other room upstairs leaving the other four to grumble about the downstairs bedrooms. They ended up splitting up with Junhoe and Bobby sharing while Donghyuk and Jinhwan shared a room – tops in one room and bottoms in the others.

“It doesn’t seem like those four will be going anywhere together, today.” Sighing, I sat our luggage against the wall because they really just had to fight before the trip.

“Well, let’s make them. I didn’t drive all the way out here to not have fun with my friends.” Sitting next to him on the bed, I could already see the gears turning in his head as he thought of a plan.

“How about we go down to the beach now? It’ll loosen everyone up and make them more accepting of whatever answer the other two give them.” That was a better idea then the one I had, so nodding, he jumped on my back causing me to piggyback him downstairs.

“Do you guys want to go to the beach before it gets too hot out?” They stared at the two of us as if we had four heads before nodding as they all stood departing towards their rooms to change. “That went better than I expected.”

“Mhm, let’s go get changed.” Racing back up the stairs, we got changed into our swim trunks. “Sunscreen, sunglasses, first-aid kit…”

“Do you really have to bring all that?” Leaning against one of the bedpost, he threw me a sideway glare, continuing to pack his bag.

“Of course, what if someone gets injured? Or sunburnt?” Not wanting to make him angrier, I stepped back as he clearly knew what he was doing. “I think that’s everything. Let’s go.”

Heading back downstairs, we caught up with the other six who were waiting on us – four with foul looks on their face and the other two in relief. Walking down to the beach, Chanwoo and Jaewon stuck close to us not wanting to be the mess that the other four was going through which was understandable. I had Chanwoo in a headlock by the time we made it to the sand causing me to let him go only to be put in one instead. His grip was way tighter than my own but I wasn’t going to break, especially not after I had threatened his lover – I had to show him that I wasn’t weak.

“Woo, let up.” Letting me go, I had to take a few deep breaths to find the air for my lungs. “That’s a good spot.”

Pulling me towards a spot that was right in the sun, he smiled before pulling out a large mat that all of us could fit on. How did he fit that in his bag? Shaking away the thought, I helped him fix it and once it was okay everyone had seemed to pile onto it keeping a good amount of distance from each other. We could have stayed at the house and swam in the pool if it was going to be like this. A heavy sigh fell from my lips as I uncrossed my legs allowing Yun to slide in between them with a bottle of sunscreen held out for me to take. Squirting a good amount in my hand, I rubbed my hands together before lightly slapping his back finding it funny how the white handprints looked against his skin. Rubbing it in, he did the same for my legs complaining about how I had so many new marks and scars from training. It not like I can really avoid the training as most of them time it consisted of us running through different scenarios for a make-believe crime scene.

“You two are still gross.” Holding back my look of disgust at his words, I glanced at Jinhwan who was still pretty moody. “It must be nice.”

“YAH! Stop!” My attention was shifted from the person who was now sulking after being mad for the last few hours, to Chanwoo and Jaewon playing in the water.

“Explain it, again, and if he’s still being an idiot, then date someone else.” Standing, I brought Yun with me as I was itching to play in the water as well.

Letting the water run over our feet, he whined at how cold the water was even with it being warm outside. Pushing him in, he screamed causing Chanwoo and I to laugh at the sound his body made when it came in contact with the water. He resurfaced fast glaring at the two of us before he started to splash us with big flicks of water that now had us both soaked. This meant war. Going deeper into the water, I started splashing him back and as the other two joined in we spilt into teams of two – Chanwoo and I on one team, with Yun and Jaewon on the other team. By the end of our match, we were all coughing up water alongside of our laughter and glancing back at the shore the other four was just sitting there.

“Are they always this lame, Woo?” Jaewon’s question had us all tilting our head because it was hard to explain without being around them all the time, or majority of the time.

“The jokes might be lame, but they themselves aren’t. They’re just going through a crisis at the moment, don’t worry about it.” Throwing some water in Chanwoo’s face, he growled but I ignored it slowly swimming my way back to the land.

Running my hands through my hair, I pushed it out of my face and sitting on the water’s edge, I used my feet to play with the water. We came here to have fun, so I should stop thinking about them and their problems. They’re my friends but it really has nothing to do with me. I’ve been telling them since they started fooling around that they should define their relationships but they told me to shut up. And after all the countless advice I’ve given them it has come to this, so whatever happens it happens.

“Don’t look so serious, your face becomes scary.” He poked my forehead causing me to grab his hand bringing him down so that we sat together again. “Worried about them?”

“No, I was but not anymore. It’s their problem not ours.” Leaning back, I let my body become one with the sand as I stared up at the blue sky with the bright sun.

“Aww, my Binnie is so caring.” Furrowing my brows, he poked at them with this funny smile. “I know you still care, even though you’re acting like you don’t. How about we send them back to the house and go for a walk?”

“A walk? Weren’t you just complaining – oh, a walk!” A wink was all it took for me to run off towards the others telling them to go home.

We went with them to shower and change, but when we left it was the only the two of us. Our walk consisted of some trees and dirt covered knees. Taking the long way back to the house, I wiped his mouth causing him to hit me as I had missed getting some on his face and hair. I cleaned it off with my shirt though, so we were kind of even. Walking up the driveway, we saw the two youngers sitting outside kicking around a ball both running to us when we came into view.

“You might not want to go in, right now.” Raising my eyebrow, a deep blush covered Chan’s face.

“They’re all in there “making up”, if you catch my drift, Hyung.” Ohhh, I was right – it seems that they finally got over themselves.

“ – fuck! I’m sorry!” They should really close the windows because that’s nasty, especially since the voice belongs to Jinhwan.

“Well, you two continue playing, we’re going to the car really quick.” Smirking, they shrugged going back to the ball while I ran towards the car with him close to me. “Maybe we should do some making up of our own.”

“Chanwoo and Jaewon are right there!” Whispering, he didn’t even stop me from pushing him into the backseat.

“Then be quiet.” His mouth hung open at my shamelessness but he didn’t complain when my hands started to unbutton those godforsaken shorts that made my body burn with desire.

Once everyone was done “making up”, Yunhyeong decided to cook for everyone to replenish their energy. I offered to help him cook seeing as how everyone else was busy rearranging their sleeping quarters, and playing video games. Going through the cabinets, he handed me a cutting board, some vegetables and a knife telling me to be careful. I’m not going to lie, I’m not the best cook but I know how to use a knife. After almost cutting off my fingers – twice – I handed him the cutting board causing him to look at it with this funny look on his face that expressed his concern in a different way. He still used them, though.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I leaned my head on his shoulder watching as he cooked loving the smell of it. I stayed like that until Jinhwan came limping into the kitchen looking happier than he’s ever been. They must have gotten together, or else he’d still be grumpy. Going towards the fridge, I grabbed him a water bottle causing him to flash me a thankful smile before leaning against the counter.

“All is well?” He gave me this knowing look as if I hadn’t heard half of his moans from outside. “Together?”

“Together.” A proud smile had come onto my face at the fact that they had talked it through.

Donghyuk came in a few seconds later, taking Jinhwan’s water bottle, limping as well.

“Together?” Jinhwan and I asked at the same time causing him to give us a shy smile before gulping down some of the water.

“Together.” The sound of Yunhyeong giving a small happy scream filled the air around us making me laugh.

“Well, dinner is almost ready, so tell everyone to sit at the table.” Those two left to get the others leaving only the two of us again as I helped him plate everything. “Should I cook something else besides Steak?”

“His sister has chicken and lobster in the fridge, but Bobby doesn’t eat lobster. I think steak is enough.” Nodding, I brought the first two plates out sitting them in front of the two injured ones before going back to get the wrongdoers food, then the youngers food.

Grabbing our plates last, we sat down watching as everyone ate without us – some friends they are, right?

They all started to leave the table one by one causing me to watch them run off to their rooms. They were disgusting! How can you eat then go do that? Nasties. Shaking my head, I watched as Chanwoo whispered something to Jaewon before running upstairs and by the look on Jaewon’s face I just knew that they were not innocent. Jaewon finally snapped out of his trance causing us to make eye-contact and it was as if he had seen a ghost. Making my eyebrows jump, he stood rushing to the kitchen then up the stairs catching my little message.

“Want to go back to the beach?” Smiling, he rolled his eyes as it was dark out, not to mention he just took a shower. “Not to get wet.”

“I’m down.” That was all I needed as I took our plates putting them in the sink with the others, rinsing them off and putting them in the dishwasher.

I was hoping for a round three after a nice long walk on the beach.


	16. B-DAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We're a swarm of bees coming in like it's our birthday." -iKON

After our last minute trip to Jeju, life seemed to be coming at us fast and school seemed to be the only thing that we were all doing. With us all being Juniors this year, the workload seemed to double for our majors as I had all these certifications that I needed to get along with on-sight training. It was funny sight really, to see all us nursing majors running around campus with burgundy colored scrubs.

Hanbin’s birthday was also coming up which meant that I was making it harder on myself to have all my work done by then so that we could spend it together. I also took it upon myself to get a part-time job as I wanted to buy him a gift this year. He’s always spending his money on me, and it’s nice and all, but he should enjoy the finer things in life sometimes as well. There were a lot of things that I wanted to do with him as he was in the military when I had originally wanted to do it with him. Like, celebrating Halloween together and other holidays that don’t warrant him a leave.

I would like it if we got to do more couple-like things instead of always being at his place or the dorms. Our dates typically consist of fast-food, or cooking, talking, and then going home at the end of the night. It’s starting to become repetitive. So, being the master planner that I am, I came up with a bunch of stuff for us to do before the end of this year because next year will be 3 years and I want to do even more stuff with him then. But for now, it’s best to get the nice and cute stuff out of the way.

Sighing, I jumped onto my bed wishing to just die for a couple hours in hopes of getting a goodnights sleep, but clearly Donghyuk had other plans. The moment my eyes closed and my breathing began to even out, he came bursting through the door yelling at me to get up. Groaning, I ignored him hoping that he would just leave, sadly, he didn’t care enough to do that.

“Come on, Yoyo! We’re going to be late! The mall is going too close!” Sitting up, I kept my eyes closed forcing back my tired tears as I got up changing out of my work clothes.

“Don’t ask me to go anywhere else for the rest of the weekend.” Looping his arm in my own, he walked us out of the dorms and towards the gate where Bobby was so kindly waiting in his car.

“The mall, right?” Donghyuk nodded as he got into the passenger seat rolling up the window causing me to slump into the backseat trying to stay awake. “You look as if you got ran over by five trucks.”

“Mhm, thanks for your concern.” That was the las time I joined in on the conversation for the rest of the ride.

When we arrived, those two walked in front of me arm-in-arm giving off happy couple vibes while I looked like the grumpy third-wheel that would rather be anywhere else, which was true. I had originally asked him to go with me as I had no classes or work this weekend, and he had readily agreed, but now that we are here I regret asking. My steps were slowly as I tried to hide the fact that I was swaying like a doll tied to a tree in the middle of a storm, but they both took notice immediately coming to me. Breaking their little arm loop, they decided to add me to the chain in the middle walking me fast towards one of the shops that bobby said Hanbin liked to shop at.

“Can we slow down a little? I’m tripping over my own feet.” They both shook their heads pulling me right into the store only stopping when we came to a wall full of hoodies, coats, and jackets.

“We all kind of established already in high school that Hanbin likes hoodies, a lot. So it’ll be great to just get him a hoodie, or another denim jacket?” Bobby’s free hand was moving fast as he pointed at the ones that he knew Hanbin would like.

“No, don’t do that! Get him something that’s unexpected but nice. How about this?” Donghyuk grabbed a sweater off the rack that was neck to us, showing it in my face. “He doesn’t wear a lot of sweaters, even when it’s cold out.”

“Then what makes you think he’ll start wearing them?” They started arguing about what MY boyfriend would like, so breaking away from them I walked to a different part of the store.

Their arguing could still be heard in the background but it was soon being overshadowed by the stores music allowing me to finally think. We just got in here and I’m already muddled. I know I should buy something that he is going to wear a lot, or at least on more than one occasion, but I also have to think about the seasons. It’s fall right now, meaning that winter is right around the corner, then again spring is right after that and he graduates in the spring. Should I buy him a graduation dinner outfit? Yeah, okay, that’s one outfit and then I could get him a sweater and a hoodie. There a little bit of everything! Not, those two can shut up.

Digging through the rack filled with dress shirts, I picked out this black button down and going towards the pants I now had to think about slacks or jeans. He likes to wear jeans more than slacks, which means that if I buy him slacks he might not wear them. No, he’ll wear them, especially if I force him too. Flipping through the slacks I grabbed a black pair as the all black ensemble would look good on him, but only if he wears the right shoes. I’ll worry about that later. Going back over to the other two who had finally shut up and were looking for me, I took the hoodie that Bobby picked out and the sweater that Donghyuk picked out before heading to the register to pay for it.

“That was easier than I thought it would be.” Thanking the cashier, I took the bag rolling my eyes at the other who two as we got done with this fast. “Do you want to hit up another shop?”

“We can look around but I really just want to go back to the dorms and sleep.” Completely ignoring the second half of my sentence, they ushered me towards another store that he frequented.

We did that for a while until an hour had passed and I now had an extra bag that was much smaller than the first one as I was tricked into getting him some jewelry. Bobby was very persuasive and I could now understand what Hanbin is always talking about. I got dropped back off at our dorm as Donghyuk said that him and Bobby were going to go on a date or something. Waving them off, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me and jumping back into bed I didn’t even think about changing. Sleep was more important at this moment.

A few weeks passed since then and it was now the day that we’ve all been waiting for. Getting myself together with Donghyuk’s unwanted help, I pulled my pants up again while holding my breath as I quickly fastened the belt. Blowing out the breath, Donghyuk’s laughter filled my ears causing me to look at his relaxed figure that was sprawled out across my bed. Why didn’t he just lay in his own?

“Can you even feel your legs?” Looking at the pants that I had just struggled to put on, I moved my legs around a little before nodding. “Doesn’t look like it. Why don’t you put on some different pants?”

“Because these make my ass look good; plus, I already asked Hanbin his opinion on facetime when I was modeling them for him a few days ago. I didn’t tell him what it was for though, but he said that this was the best outfit.” Bending over, I slipped on my socks before looking at the many shoes that were laid out in front of me.

“I’m guessing you struggled then as well.” Flipping him off, I gave a slight nod because I had the mute my phone so that he didn’t hear my struggle. “It is a nice outfit, though.”

“Of course, I’m a fashionista.” He rolled his eyes before digging through the jewelry that sat in a pile on the edge of my desk. “These shoes or these?”

Holding up a pair of white shoes and a pair of black shoes, I played with them a little as I waited on his opinion.

“What jacket are you wearing?” Sitting down the shoes, I picked up the two jackets I had picked out earlier. “If green, then black shoes; if white, then white shoes.”

Trying on the white jacket, I looked over my outfit shaking my head as the white was such a big jump with the all black outfit that I’m wearing. Taking it off, I put it back on the hanger before stuffing it in the closet with the other clothing and shoes that I’m not going to wear. Putting on the green jacket, it looked so much better than the white, so slipping my feet into the black shoes I let out a sigh of satisfaction. Doing a small spin so that he could get a better feel for the outfit, he gave me a thumbs up causing me to smile as my friends were amazing especially Dong.

“Your phone.” He picked it up looking at the message causing me to wonder why he called my attention in the first place. “Lover Boy is here!”

“Huh? At the dorms, or at the gate?” His fingers moved fast asking the important question only for his face to fall a little when he got the answer.

“Dorm.” The first word out of my mouth was a cuss words as I slipped on my ring along with one of the necklaces that Donghyuk picked out for me. “Slow down, he isn’t coming inside.”

“You know I hate it when people have to wait on me.” Grabbing the bag with his present in it, I took my phone out of Dong’s hands before making my way towards the door. “I didn’t do my hair! What should I do?”

He jumped up sticking his fingers in my hair ruffing it up a little only to push me out the door saying that I looked good. I take back what I said earlier, they’re horrible friends. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself down as I got on the elevator as this wasn’t our first date, so why am I nervous? Maybe it’s because this is the first birthday I’m spending with him since we started dating. No, it’s fine, calm down. Yeah, this is going to go smooth and wonderful. Making it to the lobby, I saw his back as he was waiting outside the door staring around as if it was his first time here. Lightly jogging towards the door, I pushed it open startling him a little bit but the moment our eyes met we both got shy smiles on our faces.

“Hey.” I was a little star struck over the fact that he looked and sounded so good.

We’ve only been talking to and seeing each other through our phone screens these last two months as our schedules never lined up enough for us to actually see one another in person. That must be why my heart is beating so fast.

“Uh, Happy Birthday.” Licking his lips, he gave me an idiot’s smile and my heart just had to skip a beat at it.

“Come on, we’re meeting my parents at this fancy restaurant.” Taking my hand in his, he was practically skipping alongside of me – when did he become so cute?

He opened the car door for me causing me to laugh at how he gave me this weird bow before closing the door. Once he was in the car, I put the bag into the backseat already knowing that I was going to give it to him when his parents gave him his gifts – whatever they may be. We held hands the whole drive chatting about our day as we didn’t get a chance to talk to each other as we knew we’d see each other later tonight. Arriving, it was indeed a fancy family restaurant as the large windows and bright lights gave it an extravagant feeling. You could see his parents from where they sat by the window causing us to stand outside of it making funny faces at them. They laughed while waving us to come inside.

Entering the restaurant, I took the seat next to his dad causing me to hug and hold onto him as he reminded me of my own dad, just a little sweeter. Hanbin kicked me from where he sat next to his mom who was enjoying the show of affection that I was giving to her husband. It’s not my fault Hanbin has been acting cold towards them – I still visit whenever I get the chance and I make Chanwoo check in on them from time to time. Pulling away, I rolled my eyes at the other who acting jealous over his own father.

“You two seem to be excited. Was the drive okay?” Nodding, she smiled before saying that she had already ordered for everyone. “Aw, my baby is finally 22 years old. I can still remember when you were turning 2 and your father accidentally left you at the house.”

“It was a mistake anyone could make! I was carrying too much stuff and you were just sitting in the car dancing your life away.” Laughing, Hanbin shook his head while his parents started going back and forth on whose fault it was.

“Fine, I was a little excited and I should have helped, but you shouldn’t have said that you had everything and I could wait for you in the car.” They finally agreed that they were both at fault causing me to lean on my hands in awe at how cute they were – I hope Hanbin and I could become like them.

“Moral of the story children, is that when you have your own make sure to split the work load in half for birthdays, instead of trying to look strong in front of your beautiful wife.” Glancing at Hanbin, he was staring down at his hands with a small smile on his lips causing me to rub my foot against his calf catching his attention.

“Yes, we want at least 3 grandchildren from you two.” Blushing, I nodded even though I never really thought about us adopting or anything like that really – I always became giddy at the thought of marrying him.

“Mom! Can we talk about something else, please?” She grabbed his face playing with it embarrassing him even more, especially when she started calling him all his childhood nicknames. “Mom~!”

“Let up, honey. Can’t you see that Yunhyeong is here?” I was honestly enjoying this more than I probably should be causing me to laugh as I reached over to table lightly patting his face.

Once the deep red blush had left his face, the food had finally arrived taking are attention away from him and onto the food. As we ate, he started to pick off my plate like he always does causing me to grumble at the fact that he always did this. I want to eat my food, too! But he gets mad whenever I try to eat his food – he was just like his dad as his parents seemed to be going through the same problem as us. Me and his mom made eye contact causing us both to sigh before going back to our plates eating whatever they had left for us to eat. Greedy.

The table was cleared and we were now left with only alcohol as his parents wanted to have at least one drink with him before we went our own separate ways. Excusing myself, I went to the bathroom pulling out my phone to call Jinhwan and see if everything was going smoothly. It took a minute for him to answer but when he did all I could hear was a lot of screaming and banging around.

“It’s going great.” Scoffing, I didn’t even get a chance to ask before he just blurted it out. “I swear it is! Bobby just – kind of – maybe dropped the cake, but don’t worry we brought another one; and the other rowdy ones are working hard on the decorations.”

“YAH! STOP POPPING THE BALLOONS!” The voice in the background clearly belonged to Donghyuk who seemed to be on his last nerve with whoever was popping the balloons.

“Well, dinner is coming to an end, and you guys don’t sound nowhere near done, so I’ll keep him busy for the time being. Text me when we can go home.” He spoke fast before hanging up not even giving me a chance to ask him to repeat himself – this was sure to be a disaster.

Going back to the table, his dad was speaking passionately about something that had the other two red in the face as they tried to block out his words. Listening to his words, he was only talking about marriage and the early years that him and his wife shared before Hanbin had to come along and ruin everything. I was only gone for a few minutes and he’s already getting himself drunk. He must have had a long day at work. It took a few more drinks before he fell quiet which meant that it was time for us to go. Hanbin helped his mom carry his dad to their car and after putting him in the passenger seat, we stepped back watching as his mom drove off telling us to be safe.

“How many drinks did you have?” Putting up one finger, he used another to motion that he only sipped on his only drink. “Let’s look around so that you can get all of it out of your system. It might not be much but it’ll still show up if we have to go through a drunk driving checkpoint.”

“Which direction, Mr. Kim?” Choking a little, I hide it with violence as I slapped his arm before heading towards were the streets were crowded. “Aw, come on! How about Mrs. Kim? Okay, I’ll stop!”

Smacking him in the back of his head, he kept apologizing but the smile on his face meant that he was enjoying it. Pulling me into his side, he wrapped his arms around me as we walked the streets looking at the different stores and restaurants that littered it. The whole time he kept trying to buy me stuff causing me to decline every time as it was his birthday, so he should be asking me to buy stuff for him, not the other way around.

“How about this?” Huffing, I gave him a pout while crossing my arms as I just told him that I didn’t need anything. “Just go inside and try it on, please! Please, it’s my birthday wish!”

I can never win against him. Grabbing his wrist, I pulled him into the store so that I could try on the stupid shirt. To be honest, it was barely a shirt but because I need to keep him busy, I’ll wear it. Looking through the sizes, I grabbed my own before heading into the fitting room only to be stopped as he tossed me a pair of pants. Taking a deep breath, I changed laughing at my appearance before coming out as I stared at him wondering if this was what he really wanted.

“Sorry, I can’t whistle but if I could -,” Pointing at me with this funny smile, I turned to looked in the mirror outside of the dressing room as the outfit wasn’t that bad, it was just dated. “You’re giving me a 90s idol feel, and I like it.”

“A crop top and baggy pants is giving you idol vibes?” I was flabbergasted to say the least, but it did look good on me – I have a great idea! “What days in December do you have off?”

Looking at his phone, he told me what days he had off and looking at my own schedule I picked one telling him not to do anything that day. We’re going to take couple photos and since he’s suddenly into the 90s vibe, it’ll be 90s inspired. We can give them to our parents as gifts, that’ll be too cute. My phone rang causing him to look at it as he was holding it for me.

“Who is it?” Flipping it, I was more than glad to see Chanwoo’s names as I all but snatched it out of his hand.

“Chanwoo? Nice timing~!” He told us to hurry up before the candles melted causing me to run back into the dressing room to struggle once more.

With my pants finally on, I told him that I wanted to give him something when we got to his place, and he must have thought it was birthday sex because he all but ran out of the shop and down the street. Once we were in the car, he burned rubber as if I was going to disappear if he didn’t drive fast – as fast as he possibly could while obeying the rules of the road. I had to remind him more than once that he was about to become a cop and that he shouldn’t set a bad example.

Arriving, he parked taking the presents that he gotten in one hand while throwing me over his shoulder and even though he was struggling he didn’t put me down. He carried me like that from the car, into the elevator, and towards his apartment door. I didn’t give him the benefit of struggling as he was sure to be more than surprised when everyone jumps out on him. Pressing in the code, he threw the door open finally sitting my down causing me to plug my ears as a loud bang went off from the confetti popper. I could tell that he was in the midst of having a heart attack as he hit the wall holding his chest with wide eyes.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOSER!” Their voices formed an out of sync choir but he had gotten the message.

“Don’t die yet, you need to blow out the candles.” Bobby pulled him towards the cake that Chanwoo was holding with a smile.

It took him a few seconds to snap back to reality causing him to quickly blow them out before turning to stare at me with a scowl on his face. Mouthing ‘sorry’ to him, I went towards the couch to sit with the others who were eating and drinking to their hearts content.

“H-How did you get in here?” Picking up a bottle of beer, I sipped on it knowing that my cover was about to be blown.

“Yun gave me the code.” Jinhwan spoke loud over the chatter of the others who were trying to get him to sit down and enjoy himself.

“You what?” Looking away, I searched for the remote to turn on the TV so that we could watch something while we got waste. “Song Yunhyeong!”

“I thought I was Mr. Kim.” Pouting, I turned up the volume quickly trying to get out of this situation as he was sure to change the code and not tell me. “Sit, sit, sit.”

He was glaring at me as he took his seat causing me to hand him a beer hoping that it would make him forget. Once he was seated the festivities were in place and he was slowly but surely forgetting that Jinhwan could now barge in whenever he felt like it. I was going to give it to Bobby, but I thought against it knowing that Jinhwan was more responsible than the former. Donghyuk was very adamant on telling me about their new dating life and I’ve heard more than a few stories of him locking his keys in the car amongst other stupid things. So, of course, Jinhwan was the best person to give the code too.

When I finished my first and only beer, I sat back slumping into the couch watching what was on TV as they had started to drink every last drop of alcohol that was in the apartment. They’ll all surely be alcoholic before they reach their 30s. Chanwoo left an hour later as he had school tomorrow, so walking him to the door I told him to be careful before hugging him off. The rest of the intruders took to falling asleep in odd places around the living room that was sure to have them in pain when they woke up.

“Do you have extra blankets and pillows?” He pointed towards the hallway closet causing me to sigh as I went to get it.

With full arms, I dumped it onto the living room floor. Laying everything out, I told everyone to lay down comfortably which was a fight with Junhoe as he kept screaming about their still being alcohol in his cup. Throwing the blankets over the four of them, I went back to the couch for the remote to turn off the TV not wanting to disrupt their drunken slumber, even though I’m pretty sure that it wouldn’t have. Grabbing the empty bottles off the table, I took them into the kitchen placing them in the sink so that I could rinse them out then recycle them. Once the bottles were out the way, I put the cake back in it packaging and sticking it in the fridge all that was left was to clear away the dirty plates and containers from their takeout.

“Going to bed?” Hitting my chest, he had scared me causing me to turn and see that he was carrying the dirty plates and containers for me.

“Yeah, after I do the dishes and wipe down the table.” Taking said dishes, I put them on the counter next to the sink as I still needed to rinse out the bottles.

“I have a better idea.” Squinting at him, I thought of all the possible ideas that he had and the fact that I was picked up off the ground had answered me thought. “I still have 20 wishes left.”

“Huh? 20?” He started telling me how his first wish was to eat dinner with me and his family; and his second was to when I tried on that outfit for him.

“I think we can knock all 20 out tonight.” And with that I was whisked away to the bedroom.

We didn’t come out until morning and when we did they were still knocked out on the floor and the dishes were still undone sitting by the sink. Some birthday, right?


	17. Kiss Me Like That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You prevent my heart from playing tricks. You make my blood flow busily throughout my body." - Shinhwa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin's birthday is Oct. 22nd for those that didn't know, so that's why I did Halloween out of nowhere.
> 
> Costumes (Costume Ideas) -  
> Hanbin, Yunhyeong, Bobby, and Junhoe's come from the Dumb & Dumber MV  
> Donghyuk, Chanwoo, and Jinhwan's come from pictures that were taken at concerts  
> I saw a photo of One with cat ears on at a fansign, or something, so that's where his comes from.

To be honest, I’m not really one to celebrate such things as Halloween as I feel that I’m a little too old to do such a thing, but it seems that my friends don’t think so. Junhoe said that there was a Halloween party being thrown on campus and since everyone was going that we needed to go as well. I clearly thought against it trying to come up with some excuse not to go, only to be roped into going by the devil, Yunhyeong. He came over saying that it was going to be fun and that I should just enjoy myself. I had no choice but to go because he gave me this cute pout telling me that he already had an idea for our outfits.

But now that I think about it, I got out of going to the Halloween party that that guy was trying to force me into going to like he always does. Whatever! As long as nothing goes wrong then I’m totally fine.

We had at least three hours until we were supposed to meet up with everyone at Bobby and Jinhwan’s dorm, so that we could walk together. Well, it more so Junhoe leading the way as he was the only one who knew where it was – supposedly. Yunhyeong had the bathroom on lock-down to get ready leaving me to sit and smooth the gel in my hair back as it was starting to set. He wanted to go with the 50s theme, and seeing as how he had blonde hair at the moment he thought that ‘Grease’ was a great costume. I didn’t really mind all that much as I didn’t have to go out to buy anything because I had a white t-shirt, black jeans, and a leather jacket in my closet. Throwing it all on, he rolled up my pants and styled my hair before running into the bathroom to get ready.

My phone rang causing me to snatch it off the table to see that it was Bobby.

“What’s up?” He didn’t answer for a few seconds causing me to pull the phone away from my ear as he probably called me on accident. “Bobby? Hello?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I did call you.” Sighing, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes because he was a mess. “What time are you guys arriving?”

“Yun is in the bathroom getting ready, but I’m good to go, so whenever he’s done.” He made some weird noise before his laughter filled my ears – it was pretty loud and very clear.

“Oh, okay, well just text me when you leave so that I can meet you downstairs.” Nodding, I hung up as he was clearly busy doing something else.

I saw something blonde move to the side of me out of the corner of my eye causing me to turn and see that he was definitely very much ready. The tight leather pants, the even tighter shirt that seemed to ride up whenever he moved too much, the oversized leather jacket and red converse to replace the red pumps that Sandy wore. His hair was in tight curls that were already falling making me want to mess them up even more.

“Wow, you really look good.” Pulling a sucker from his jacket pocket, he popped it in his mouth giving me this flirty look.

“Tell me about it, stud.” The sudden urge to devour him washed over me but I stopped myself as our friends were waiting on us. “I did a good job, right?”

Nodding, I stood causing him to come over tucking in my shirt – his fingers were dangerously close to starting something he wouldn’t be able to finish. Handing me a sucker, I leaned down taking it from his fingers rolling it around a little in my mouth. Grabbing my keys off the table, I pulled him towards the door as we needed to go before Jinhwan starts blowing up my phone asking stupid questions. The ride there was filled with him doing dance moves from the 50s and him showing me all the suckers that he had in his jacket pocket. When we arrived I texted the idiot that we were downstairs. I didn’t get a response nor did it say that he had saw it causing me to wonder if they had already left. We still had a good hour and a half before we were supposed to leave, so that didn’t make much sense. Did he fall asleep?

“Give me all your money!” The voice was familiar causing me to sigh as Yun had started screaming while holding onto me for dear life.

“Are you an idiot or what?” The idiot had come out of the shadows dressed in all black like he was about to rob a bank or something.

“Maybe, but at least I can say my outfit was a success. Isn’t that right, Yunhyeong?” The one he had asked the question to was clearly in the middle of watching his life flash before his eyes as he stared at nothing in particular.

“Leave him alone.” He laughed while opening the door for us to enter the building. “Who’s all here already?”

“Basically everyone besides Junhoe and Donghyuk. Even Chanwoo and Jaewon arrived before you two.” Of course they would, they didn’t have anything stopping them from arriving early.

Nodding, we rode the elevator up to their floor noticing how their voices were already loud and we were still at the end of the hall. Their neighbors must hate them. Entering the room, we greeted everyone causing us to all share a few laughs at everyone’s costume choice. Chanwoo was clearly the Joker, Jaewon was a cat (all he did was put on cat ears), Jinhwan was a devil with his little wings, and Bobby was a thief. We all had choose such drastically different things that you could just tell our taste from the amount of effort we each put into our outfits. There clearly wasn’t enough seating area for everyone, so leaning against the wall I watched as they all chatted happily with one another.

Another hour had passed before Junhoe and Donghyuk had arrived both dressed in their costumes that seemed like it took a while to do. I didn’t know what Junhoe was until he opened his mouth to show fake fangs. He had color contacts on that made his eye look icier than they actually were – he was a vampire. Donghyuk’s outfit was an easy guess as he was coupling with Chanwoo – he was Harley Quinn with his little ponytails and eye shadow.

With the whole gang here, we left out already knowing that the party was in full swing and we were late - fashionably late, Junhoe said. Rolling my eyes, we walked towards the center of campus where the festivities were being held causing us to be eloped in loud music that didn’t go with the spooky season. Looking around, there wasn’t really much going on besides the abundance of food and sweet stuff that had made its way onto campus but besides that people we were just standing around talking with each other. Making our way deeper into the “party”, I caught sight of a familiar face causing me to turn in a chance for escape but she had already saw me.

“Hanbin? HANBIN!” The sound of heels rushing towards us had me turning back around to give her a tight smile. “Why didn’t you call me? I thought we had a good time.”

My eyes had blown up at her words because what the hell was she talking about. What good time? How can she be so shameless? My mouth had fallen open as I tried to find my words but they seemed stuck in my throat.

“W-W-W-What?” A hand on my shoulder had me turning to look at the many disapproving faces of our group, especially Chanwoo’s whose was filled with pure anger.

“Are you sure? You weren’t that drunk when we had -,” Coughing loudly, to mask her words I shook my head not believing that this was actually happening to me and on Halloween of all nights.

“Does your throat hurt or something? Why won’t you let her speak?” Yunhyeong’s voice wasn’t very warm as he stared at me in wait to see what I was going to do. “Oh, I see. Do you -.”

“NO! I don’t like her – I don’t like you.” The look on her face was priceless but now wasn’t the time for that. “I’m sorry, Rose, but I’m in a happy relationship and have been for almost three years now, so I think it’s best if we don’t meet ever again.”

There were many things I was expecting but to be slapped wasn’t one of them. She stormed off causing her dress to shuffle behind her matching the force at which she stomped away at. Bobby lightly tapped my face before running off only to see that I wasn’t in the mood for his playfulness right now. The rest ran after him except for Chanwoo, Jaewon, and Yunhyeong who were staring at me. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in releasing it through my nose causing a tight smile to come onto my face. Slicking my hair back into place as if it had been messed up by the hit, I took a step forward waiting on them to follow.

“Are you okay, Hyung?” Nodding, I wanted to scream but I held it in for image purposes. “Jaewon and I are going to get some cotton candy, so we’ll see you two later.”

“Be safe, you two!” They were already running off by the time Yun’s voice traveled far enough to catch up with them. “You too, stud.”

“Huh? Why?” Sticking his hand into my back pocket, he pushed me in the direction that our friends had run off in. “Is this an invitation for me to do what I wish?”

“I have no idea what you mean.” Wrapping my arm around his neck, I expected him to be mad or something but he was surprisingly calm – I think it has to do with me getting slapped.

“Let’s go into the haunted house.” He made his chest big causing me to wonder what he was going to say and it wasn’t what I expected at all.

“Let’s go.” Laughing, I couldn’t believe that he was trying to act like he wasn’t afraid.

Pulling him towards one of the many haunted houses that we were passing by, his body started to become stiff probably thinking that I was joking. No, I was dead serious. We got in line with everyone else and once the line started to move, he started pulling back.

“Don’t tell me that you’re scared now?” Punching my side, he walked off causing me to follow because he was something else. “Hey, wait up!”

“Never~!” I caught up with him fairly quick as he wasn’t even walking that fast to get away from me. “Want to get something sweet? I think they have ice cream.”

Nodding, we walked around for a while looking for the spooky ice cream that they were advertising and when we found it the line was longer than the one for the DJ booth. Looking at each other, we made the mental decision that ice cream wasn’t worth the wait, so we got into the line for churros as it was moving faster than the ice cream line. Getting us both one, we walked away happy at the fact that we didn’t have to wait in line for that long.

After finishing our dough covered sugar sticks, we sat down on the fountain people watching as we both weren’t in the mood to be stuck swaying in between bodies with sticky hands. Trick or treating would have been funnier than this. Maybe it’s just because I would rather be at home finishing my drama and cleaning up. When did I get so old?

“This is lame!” It was the first time I’ve ever heard him call anything lame, and it was hilarious. “Want to go back to my dorm? We can watch a movie or something.”

“A scary movie?” His face became stiff at my question – he was such a baby. “Come on! It’s Halloween, its only right.”

“Fine, we’ll watch a scary movie.” Rolling my shoulders around in a weird dance, he pushed my face telling me to come on before he goes to bed. “I’ll text Donghyuk and tell him that we’re leaving.”

“Why? We can just put a sock on the knob.” Stabbing me with his finger, I stepped away from him as the violence needed to stop. “Not like that, unless it gets like that, but what I mean was to let him know that the room was in use. Not in use like that -.”

“I get it, so stop rambling.” At least, he got what I was saying.

When we arrived at his dorm, we both entered the room falling onto the floor as the walk from the center of campus was a long one. My calves never burned seeing as how I work out a lot with my training and everything, but they were burning bad. Taking off my shoes and jacket, I looked over to see that he had done the same thing causing his shift to bunch up leaving his lower stomach out for all to view. He looked sexy like this – the disheveled, heavy breathing, messy hair look was what he was portraying. A lucky guy I am, right?

Reaching over, he grabbed his laptop sitting it in front of us telling me to choose the movie as he clearly wasn’t one to know what scary movies were good. I should be kind and pick one with minimal jump scares and it overall isn’t that scary, but I’m not kind at all and everyone can attest to that. I picked ‘The Wailing’ because it started off slow meaning that he’d be at ease for the first third of the movie, even though there was a lot of blood. Standing, I snatched off my sock putting it on the door just in case he starts screaming bloody murder – I don’t need anyone to think that I tried to kill him. And turning off the lights, I got comfortable on the floor turning the volume up to its highest setting before leaning back as he sat next to me scoffing.

“I thought that it was going to be a scary movie.” Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t believe that he was really acting tough and there was no one but me around to see it.

Letting him run his mouth, he fell silent at the first jump scare only to blame it on the creepy music. He flinched and yelped at every last jump scare and by the end of the movie he was in my lap asking me stupid questions to distract him from the scenes playing on the screen. Once the movie had finished, I closed his laptop with my foot before nicely sliding it away from us – well me as he was perched in my lap. The movie itself wasn’t all that terrifying but the images it left behind were nightmare worthy.

“What happened to ‘I thought that it was going to be a scary movie’? Huh? Huh?” It was only right for me to pick fun at him as he had done a complete 180 in only a matter of minutes.

“Shut up.” Backing off, he stayed seated in my lap as if there wasn’t anywhere else to sit causing me to flip us over as he now laid on his back. “What are you doing?”

“I thought I’d help you take your mind off of the movie.” Giving him a smirk, he gave me one back – I’m glad to know that we’re on the same playing field.

“What makes you think that I want your help?” Ripping off my shirt, I rain my fingers through my hair causing the gel in it to clump together causing the strands to look a mess.

“Because we both know that I’m the only one who can help you.” I was joking but he gave me this smile that acknowledged my words.

“Our we going to do it on the floor?” Tilting my head, I didn’t see what the problem really was the room was pretty spread out so we wouldn’t hit anything.

“Bobby told me that him and Donghyuk did it in your bed.” Disgust had covered his face causing me to glance at the bed as I couldn’t shake the thought from my head. “They probably did it more than a few times, especially since you’re usually with me most of the time.”

“Can we not? I’m going to have to disinfect my bed now, thanks.” I suddenly remembered what we were in the middle of doing and by the look on his face he did as well. “I’ll do the floors too.”

Kissing him, he gave me this lazy smile that made my heart flutter more than once. Maybe Halloween isn’t all that bad.


	18. COUPLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh love, I love you. Now, let's spend out whole lifetime together." - SECHSKIES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to throw a little old school k-pop in there for you guys. See you next update!

Winter was back again and I was prepared for it and everything it offered.

Christmas was in 3 weeks and we’re just now taking these pictures. Of course, they’ll be ready by then but I was stressing as I had to change my original concept to fit the cold weather better, not to mention I was sure our parents would have heart attacks if they saw how I originally planned to dress us. Creativity is often over looked for what is pleasing to the eye, so I decided to go basic. Sweaters and white clothing to mimic the snow – it was perfect if I had to say so myself.

Raiding both of our closets for the clothes, I packed them into a heavy duffel bag ignoring his complaints in the background because that was all he knew how to really do. He complained more than Jinhwan and Chanwoo. Looking around the room, I made sure we had everything before checking the time as we were going to be late if we didn’t leave in a few minutes. I had already told our parents about the amazing gift that we were giving them, so I couldn’t just back out of this last minute.

“You take that and I’ll take this, okay?” He took the heavy duffel groaning at the weight of it but that was only because of the change of shoes I had thrown in there.

“I get the heavy bag and you get the light one, and here I am thinking that we are of equal standings in this society.” Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t believe that he was trying to play that card when he’s been lounging around all morning watching me pack.

“Put on your jacket correctly, idiot. It’s been extremely cold as of lately and I don’t need you getting sick on me.” Even though I told him to fix it, I did it myself already knowing that he was going to half-ass it. “There. You look warm now.”

“I can’t breathe out of my mouth.” Ignoring his underhanded way of complaining, I opened the door pushing him out into the hallway.

The drive was pretty far as I had picked the perfect (in my opinion) studio, and the photographer I picked was highly recommended. I had to ask around the Photography major for a few favors – I’ll be modeling for them whenever they need me until the end of this year. But I don’t really mind all that much as it was such a last minute thing for me to ask.

“Can you stop moving?!” I was trying to fix his hair but he kept pushing my hands away. “We’re almost there and you did nothing to it.”

“I like how it looks, so don’t bother.” It took everything in me not to punch him because it was whatever at this point.

Parking in front of the studio, I put back together the “lighter” bag as it was filled with hair products so that we wouldn’t look the same in every picture. Walking into the studio, we greeted the photographer who was more than happy to see us – why wouldn’t he be? Taking a quick glance around the room, I was met with an all-white room and limited furniture, along with an abundance of technology that I clearly would never figure out. Sitting down, we talked for a minute going over what photos we were going to take first and going from there. Agreeing to how he wanted to do it, he left to start getting the space ready leaving us to do the same as we should get the white clothes out of the way first.

“Change into this.” Handing the one who liked his hair how it was, he took it and headed into the bathroom without a problem. “Now he wants to listen.”

I was already in the pants that I was wearing for this one causing me to slip my white shirt on without a problem as the photographer stepped out giving me enough time to pull my shirt off. Putting my cardigan on over it as it was a little chilly in here, I sat down waiting on the other who was taking a while. When the photographer stepped back inside, Hanbin had finally finished causing his jacket to be pulled back on his shoulders. Flashing me a smile, I couldn’t return it as his sense of fashion was just plain odd to me. Standing back up, we were told to be as natural as possible as those resulted in the best pictures.

I’m not going to lie we were so awkward at first that we couldn’t help but laugh at each other. Not to mention that the photographer’s assistant had arrived in the mist of our awkward poses. He gave us a small break to look at the pictures telling us to loosen up a little. Nodding, we went towards the computer that his assistant sat at scrolling through all the photos that we had taken so far. Throwing my arms around Hanbin’s neck, I stood on my tip-toes giving him a back hug to get a better look over his shoulder as I didn’t want to crowd the assistant like that. Smiling at him, he laughed with me as they were horrible at least we had other chances to get this right.

The assistant scrolled back up to the top showing photos that weren’t there before as they were of how we were standing right now smiling and laughing at each other. Looking at the photographer, he gave us a thumb up that I never knew that I needed – it gave me this sudden confidence boost out of nowhere. He made this hand movement signaling that he was going to change the set and we should get ready. Telling Hanbin, he dragged me away towards the bag while holding onto my arms so that I wouldn’t break the hug.

“Clingy much?” Scoffing, I couldn’t believe that those words had left his mouth when he was holding onto my arms for dear life. “What’s next stylist-nim?”

“Here, idiot.” Handing him this beige sweater, he skipped off towards the bathroom causing me to follow with a black turtleneck in my hands.

Changing fast, I missed with my hair in the mirror as he struggled behind me. These were going to our parents not to a magazine. Lifting up his sweater, I saw a tattoo I’ve never seen – of course I knew about the boat on his left shoulder and the one on his chest as he had gotten them when he was in the military.

“When did you get that?” Pointing through the mirror at his hip, he rubbed it a little giving me this dirty look. “Pervert.”

“A few days ago, and I’m not a pervert if you like it so much. Pervert.” Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t believe that he had just called me a pervert back.

Going back outside, he had this white square box sitting in the middle of the room and telling Hanbin to sit down, he told me to sit between his legs. The box wasn’t small but it wasn’t like it was all that bug either – nonetheless, I swallowed my words and sat down. Positioning us, he put Hanbin’s chin in the crook of my neck and tilting my head a little he backed away telling us to stay still. It was easier said than done because after the first photo the idiot got the great idea to start blowing air into my ear. I tried hard not to squirm but I just couldn’t – it tickled way too much. Pinching his leg to get him to stop, he wrapped his arms around me to make sure that I didn’t move as he went from blowing air in my ear to kissing my neck and jaw. Why is he so weird?

“Stop, Hanbin!” Whispering, my words held a threat that he didn’t even get causing me to wonder if he was really an idiot or not. “YAH!”

He jumped making the box scoot forward and we were suddenly falling backwards, his arms holding onto me tightly the whole time.

“Oof!” Breaking his hold, I sat up looking back at his closed eyes and pained face – he really was an idiot.

“Are you okay?” Peeking at me – he thought I didn’t see his eyes flutter close after – he shook his head making me turn around so that we were face-to-face. “Where does it hurt?”

“My head and back. I think a kiss will make it better.” Looking out the corner of my eye, they didn’t seem to be look at us so bending down I placed a small kiss on his forehead. “Ay~ I wanted more than that.”

“Not until you take this seriously, brat. I spent good money on this.” Getting off him, I sat back down on the box watching as he sat up giving me this childish glare. “Don’t look at me like that, Hanbin.”

“Meanie.” Using my knuckle, I hit his forehead hard enough for his pout to fall off his face and be replaced with another pained expression. “Why are you so violent to me? You’re two-faced and I think the world needs to know.”

Shaking my head, I turned around to see that the photographer was snapping away with an amused smile on his face. Hanbin suddenly stood in front of me causing me to stare up at him as I was more than confused. He leaned down until we were eye-level with each other only to surprise me with a kiss before running off saying that he was going to start getting ready for the next set of pictures. I was more than embarrassed by the fact that he had kissed me in front of strangers but I’m not going to lie, I liked it a lot.

After the last set of pictures, we had more than enough material to create the small book that I wanted to. It’s obvious that we’re going to be together for a long time, so it only makes sense to give a nice collection of pictures to our parents. Packing up, we thanked the photographer as he said that he’d send everything to us within a week or so – we had gotten books for our parents and loose pictures for ourselves. Sighing, my stomach started to growl, so telling my driver to take me to eat he easily gave in with the promise of me staying over for the rest of the week. It wasn’t like I had many classes at the moment seeing as how everyone was preparing for the upcoming break that was right around the corner.

We went to this small restaurant in town and sitting down I suddenly had a lot on my mind. Leaning on my hand, I stared at him watching as he ordered for the both of us. His mom called me yesterday asking me a series of question that had suddenly hit me when we were leaving. Most of them were answered with ‘I don’t know’ causing her to sigh while calling us both difficult children that she loved. It wasn’t hard to understand what she meant as we’re pushing on three years and haven’t made much progress in the aspect of moving our relationship forward. We’re both busy – me with school and him with the academy – so it’s understandable that we haven’t moved forward much. To be honest, I’m not even expecting anything at this point really; I’m just happy that we’re together.

“Your mom called me yesterday…” Running my finger around the rim of my metal water cup, I bit my lip trying to figure out how to word this.

“And?” Obviously he would find nothing weird with that statement as I communicated with his parents often like how he did with my own.

“She was just worried about us, you know.” Our food was sat down causing me to thank the lady who brought it.

“Worried about what? Does she want us to visit or something? Aren’t your parents coming here for Christmas? I think our families should spend it together, so that everyone could get to know each other better.” Tilting my head, as it was worry but it wasn’t that type of worry.

“That’ll be nice, I’ll tell my parents and see what they’ll do.” Pushing around my food, I couldn’t believe how nervous I was when it was only a small question that anyone could ask. “S-She wanted to basically know when we were going to move forward in our relationship so to say. I’m not really all that worried about it, but I feel that you should know, okay?”

I tried to give him a reassuring look as he froze staring at me with his silverware in his mouth. I’m not one to really rush anything but I can’t understand why I’m so nervous over nothing. When the time comes it’ll come. Stuffing the food in my mouth, I looked away from him for the sole fact that he took a longer pause than needed. I was almost done with my food when he cleared his throat catching my attention to see that dopey smile on his face. What the heck was he smiling for?

“You just wanted to let me know?” Nodding, I picked up my cup sipping on my waiter trying to figure out what he was going to say. “Well, how about I let you know something as well.”

“What?” He motioned for me to lean in, so doing just that we were now hovering over our plates to meet in the middle of the table.

“I already have everything planned out, but I’m not going to tell you anything because then it’ll ruin everything.” Leaning back, I couldn’t help but grumble as he really just played me – I thought he was actually going to say something useful.

“Everything planned out? Yeah, right.” Grabbing my hand, he played with the ring that I never took off flashing me this smile filled with fondness – do I look the same when I look at him?

“I’m serious. You already made it through plan 5 of a number that I can’t let you know.” Snorting, I couldn’t help but shake my head as he was being childish at this point. “Don’t look so sad, okay? Everything will work out in the end.”

“I know. You just play too much and it’s bugging me.” He grabbed my nose shaking my head causing his fingers to move before I could grab and crush them. “I hate you.”

“I love you, too. Now finish eating, so that we can go home. I have a side plan that I want to initiate once we get there.” He was such a pervert but he had the audacity to call me one.

Finishing our food, we went back to his place only for him to jump me the moment we entered saying that his side plan started now. He was really a weird one.

When Christmas finally arrived, we all promised to spend it at Hanbin’s parents place – my family included – and after getting dressed up like we were going to be on a Christmas card I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous? No, it wasn’t nervousness, it was some indescribable feeling that had my stomach doing summersaults. Groaning, I held my gifts close to my chest as my mom kept pulling on my hat and clothing asking me when I was going to go back too black. I had just gotten it re-dyed a few days ago, so what makes her think that I’m going to dye it again anytime soon and she knew this. She was nagging a lot more which meant that something was either bothering her or on her mind a lot more than it should be. Maybe dad did something to annoy her?

“Leave the child alone, you’re messing up his hair.” Thanking my dad, who was holding the now 6 month old Lucky with a look of distaste.

“But he should look presentable! This is the first time we’re spending Christmas like this and that can only mean one thing.” Raising my eyebrow, she gave me this look making it known that she was thinking the impossible.

“He isn’t proposing if that’s what you’re thinking, Mrs. Song.” Her face fell causing her to walk away from me finally leaving me alone.

“Then what the hell is going on? You two have been dating for way longer than needed. Shouldn’t you be thinking about marriage? It’s fine if the engagement period is long.” I didn’t have anything to say to that because she had suddenly become pushy out of nowhere.

“Hyung don’t worry about it too much. She’s been cranky since they arrived.” Chanwoo took my arm in his own walking me towards the door as it would soon be the meet-up time.

“Did something happen?” Whispering as to not alert them that we were speaking on them, I hit the button for the elevator.

“I have no idea, but Uncle has been trying to smooth her out so I’m guessing it has to do with him.” Nodding, it was understandable as dad did things that annoyed me sometimes as well – you learn to live with it.

The walk clearly wasn’t far as it was right across the street and pressing in the code and everything that Hanbin had given me we were one step closer to this family gathering set-up. The elevator rides up to their floor was filled with the chatter of my Aunt who was talking to my mom and Chanwoo who was talking to me about his relationship with Jaewon. They had gotten a better grounding for their relationship after our Jeju trip and were now in an official relationship that my Aunt was more than happy about. She thought that Chanwoo would be alone for the rest of his life and it worried her a lot. They clearly didn’t have any problems as the relationship was 5 months old making it younger than Lucky, but he did talk about their dates and adventures a lot more now than he used to. At first everything was a secret and now he’s just ready to spill.

Making it to the apartment door, I knocked causing everyone to fall silent as they straightened themselves up even more. Weirdos. The door swung open revealing Hanbin who pushed Chanwoo away so that he could pick me up. Did something good happen to him? Because when I spoke to him earlier he sounded more than depressed. Putting me down, he greeted my family with a big smile before ushering us inside where his dad was waiting on us. His mom was in the kitchen still cooking.

“Hanbin has told me so much about you.” As his dad greeted my parents, aunt and uncle, we (Hanbin, Chanwoo and I) took the few extra steps into the living room.

“You look more like your mom than your dad, Hyung.” He nodded at Chanwoo’s comment causing me to run and slide the presents under the tree for later. “Also, isn’t that the sweater that Hyung brought you for your birthday?”

“Duh, who else would have brought it?” Chanwoo punched him and before the other could retaliate he was hiding behind me. “Yun move, please. I have business with the coward behind you.”

“Calm down, our families are right here.” I knew Chanwoo was taunting him by the hard glare that had entered his eyes.

“You three seemed to be having fun.” Looking back, his mom was standing next to his dad watching us with a smile that seemed to fill her whole body.

“Mom~ Woo is bullying me.” Hanbin ran to his mom pointing at the younger who was now wide-eyed and scared about what was going to happen next. “And, Yun won’t help me. He’s a traitor.”

My mouth had fell open at his absurd statement as everyone who knew us, knew that I agreed with everything he did or said whether it was wrong or right. He ended up getting hit in the back of his head and after being told to stop acting like a child he flopped down on the couch with his arms cross. A heavy sigh left me as I sat next to him - a small laugh was stuck behind my teeth. It didn’t take long before he had gotten out of his pout fest as my mom and aunt when to help his mom in the kitchen, and our dads and my uncle came flopping down on the couch next to us talking loudly about their common interest.

Stripping out of my outerwear, I handed it to him telling him to make use of himself and as Chanwoo followed he stood mumbling under his breath. With the extra space, Chanwoo stretched himself out humming at the extra leg room. The TV was playing Christmas movies despite the loud chatter of the house which took our attention as we really had nothing to talk about – we talked more than enough.

“Aw, come on! Move, Woo.” It was clear that the younger was comfortable and not moving any time soon, so giving up he sat down in the space between my legs. “Why are you even here?”

“Because Hyung invited me.” They were clearly getting on each other’s nerves – well more so Chanwoo than Hanbin – causing me to grab Hanbin’s face to distract him.

“The sweater looks good on you, Bin.” Smiling at me like how he always does, we ended up staring at each other until we were called for dinner.

The dinner table had a lot of entertainment as our dads and my uncle started betting with each other on who could beat who in arm wrestling. It was honestly stupid as we all knew that they were going to get hurt in the end. Sighing they had both given up deciding to bet on something else – who knew the dance moves to a certain song better – it was a good idea as that was how my dad proposed to my mom. He danced the choreography to some old song that my mom was obsessed with at the time, I can’t even remember the name of it, but he did that and they’re still married now. So after dinner, we had all scrambled into the living room and I was given the chance to pick the song as they knew I wasn’t bias about these things. I picked a first-generation idol song already knowing that they had both given up on the trends during that time.

“This came out when you two were three years old and Chanwoo was around 6 months at the time.” Looking at my mom, I never knew that she was fully invested into the idol life. “I liked a lot of groups at the time, so don’t judge me.”

Putting up my hands in surrender, she laughed before telling me to turn the music up as this was going to be good. Our dads, and my uncle, stood in the middle of the living room ready for the battle to commence and I was more than surprised when Hanbin joined in. He wasn’t really one to dance as he would rather sit and watch for his own amusement. We were all more than surprised to find out that they both knew the choreography pretty well making them look coordinated enough to rival a brand-new (fresh) trainee group. They looked weird throwing hearts at us causing us all to laugh enjoying the performance that Chanwoo was recording – it was sure to be passed around by midnight. 

Once the performance ended, all three were breathing heavy even though the dancing wasn’t that intense – and he calls me weak. Hanbin came back to sit in front of me while our parents choose to spread out on the floor so that everyone could have enough breathing room.

“Let’s open up presents!” Chanwoo practically flew off the couch causing me to wonder how he could turn into a child so fast. “This is for you, and you, and you, and me, and you. Who wants to go first?”

“You might as well since you already passed everything out.” He started tearing into his gifts leaving us all to watch in disbelief.

“What is this?” It was clearly Hanbin’s present by the way he had shifted from in between my legs.

“A book. You spend so much time playing video games that I’m scared you lost more than a few brain cells.” Holding back my laughter, I slapped his shoulder as his words were totally unexpected. “Don’t worry it has some pictures in it.”

The youngest was clearly about to murder someone by the look on his face, and it was more than clear that he was embarrassed. Who wouldn’t be? Opening his other gifts, he had calmed down enough to enjoy them causing him to kick Hanbin every chance he got. My Aunt and Uncle went next getting basically the same things that they had gotten last year, the only difference was that I had slipped gift cards in there knowing that they were in dire need of some relaxation. When it had come to our parents they were more than surprised to find neatly wrapped boxes that held pretty red bows on them as they were surely expecting clothes and wine.

“Books? You two really know what we wanted.” My mom clearly hadn’t even fully opened it only looking at the cover that had nothing more than an infinity symbol on it. “I thought it was going to be amazing.”

“Open it.” Flipping it open, we had both wrote personalized letters promising an unforeseen future together that we weren’t even worried about at the moment.

They had flipped through the whole book laughing at majority of the pictures as most of them were the ones where we were goofing off. There were still the professional poses, but he had used majority of the ones when we were in between sets. We were being praised for our good lucks until Chanwoo jumped in calling us ugly and saying that no one wanted to see that. Someone is jealous.

“I like this one.” Turning the book to show us the photo, it was one of the many where we were sitting on that box and he had started to mess with me. “You can feel the love off of it. Honey, maybe we should do something like this too.”

“I personally like this one.” His mom turned their book showing us the photo of when Hanbin was sitting on the floor with his shirt off – he had been complaining - as I was kneeled between his legs showing him a funny face. “You two need to get married asap.”

“Can we at least graduate and get into our careers before we start talking about marriage?” I nodded not finding the need to hurry as long as he didn’t feel the need too. “Let’s all just enjoy each other’s company, okay?”

There was a pregnant silence before his parents started to die of laughter, wiping at tears that had started to cloud their vision.

“Who are you and what have you done with Hanbin?” Rolling his eyes, he grabbed onto my wrist shaking his head at the pile of laughing limbs that his parents had become.

As long as we’re together that’s all that really matters, right?


	19. BLING BLING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "From night to the morning we're going to party, party, party." -iKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates, my mind has been occupied with other things. 
> 
> Anyway, ya boi (Hanbin) graduated and we're almost to the halfway point.

The day that I’ve been waiting for is finally here and almost every else was as well. I spent the rest of winter and the early months of spring training and studying as hard as I could, and when I was told that I’d be able to graduate I almost did a backflip off of the instructor’s desk. I gave everyone the date and time to be there, so no one should be missing but someone is. He said that he had a test to take for his morning class and would be late which was understandable, but the ceremony was coming to a close and he still hadn’t shown up.

A small sigh passed my lips causing the person next to me to pat my arm in a semi-congrats/comforting way. Thanking them, an uproar had followed as it was now over. The person who owned the academy wanted to take a picture with the graduating class, so balling our right fist up we held it with light smiles. Once the photo had been snapped, we were given permission to leave causing me to slip past others wanting to get out of here. Making it outside, I saw that they had beat others on getting out as well and rushing towards them I smiled the widest I have all morning.

“Congratulations loser!” Punching him, he grabbed my hand snatching my glove off before running towards Junhoe as if he was going to protect him.

“I’m so proud of you, baby.” My mom was the same as always with the nicknames that already had them laughing at me. “Let’s take pictures, okay?”

Nodding, I was forced into the center as my friends crowded around me smiling as if it was their own graduation. We snapped a few photos, some of them with standard poses and the others were with them making ugly faces. Next came my parents causing them to hand me a bouquet of flowers before they each took and arm in their own, proud smiles decorating their faces. It was nice to know that they weren’t saddened by the fact that I didn’t want to go to college – even though they said that they’d support me in whatever I choose to do.

“Is Yunhyeong not coming?” Laughing, I’ve never seen my dad so worried over someone that wasn’t my mom and I.

“He said that he was on his way.” Thanking Donghyuk for his nice cut in, we just stood around talking about anything as we waited for the missing one.

“So, what are your plans for tonight?” Shrugging as I didn’t really plan on doing anything, but by the look Jinhwan gave me it meant that we were doing something whether I wanted to or not.

“We’re going to party until the sun comes up.” Shaking my head, I already knew that I really wasn’t getting out of this one. “Your parents should join too.”

“Uh, sorry kids but we have work in the morning, so we’ll pass.” He pouted as if he was really disappointed causing me to roll my eyes as my friends were horrible.

A few minutes more passed before I saw a familiar head of blonde hair running towards us with his backpack practically hanging off of him and another bouquet of flowers in his hands. Smiling like the idiot I am, he looked up with a smile as big as my own causing him to run faster. He practically flew into my arms once he made it to where we stood and if I hadn’t prepared myself we would have both been on the ground. Standing him up straight, he handed me the flowers with a shy look on his face – why would he be embarrassed now?

“Congratulations on graduating, Binnie.” Pulling him into a hug, I ran my ungloved hand through his hair liking the feeling of it in my hands. “I told you that you were going to do it, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did.” Breaking the hug, the sound of my mom’s voice entered my ears as she was telling us to stand together for a picture.

Nodding, I pulled him to my side holding his hand tightly in my own and flashing a wide grin, they all shook their heads. I could hear Bobby mumbling about how whipped I am, but I didn’t care as it was true. Turning my head, I glanced down at him to see that he was already smiling up at me. What did I do to deserve such a fantastic lover? He grabbed my face, shaking it a little, before stepping away to go look at the pictures. Our hands were still held together in a tight grip, so I went along even though I didn’t really care to.  

We talked with my parents for at least an hour more before they left saying that they were going to allow us to spend time together. We all bid them farewell watching as they made it to their car only to pull off a few minutes later with happy faces. Taking a deep breath, I took off my hat glad that I’d more than likely never have to wear it again. My head itched as it came in contact with the sun that was harsh today of all days, but it seemed as if no one else minded the heat.

“Let’s crash at Hanbin’s until nightfall.” They all agreed to Bobby’s idea of intruding into my personal space like they always do – I can never get a break with them.

Arriving at my place, they took to spreading out while I went into my room to change for the unwanted night out. Unbuttoning my uniform jacket, I lightly tossed it onto the bed knowing that I’d have to hang it up and make it look nice and neat. My door had closed the moment I pulled my shirt off causing me to turn around to see that it was only Yunhyeong. He came up wrapping his arm around my torso pressing his face into my back. I continued to move around as he did this a lot, so taking off my pants I slide on the pants that he had brought me for my birthday and holding the button up in my hands I tried to break his hold.

“How was the test?” Finally letting he go, he flopped down on my bed making his clothing wrinkled.

“Ugh!” That was all I really needed to know as he had already stressed over it enough.

“What are they doing out in the living room?” Pulling my shirt on, I buttoned it up slowly watching him squirm around messing up my sheets.

“The usual. I think Junhoe was raiding your fridge on my walk in here.” Of course it would be him and not anyone else. Is Jinhwan feeding him?

“Mhm.” Tucking my shirt in, I quickly pulled it out not liking the way how it originally looked. “Oh, did you need something?”

“Oh, yeah. Well, you know how you asked me to move in with you and I told you to wait until graduation?” Nodding, I moved to sit down next to where he laid noticing the smile that was on his face. “When do I move in?”

“Huh? You meant my graduation?!” I was in shock as I was clearly expecting for it to be his graduation.

“You never asked me to specify so I thought you understood what I was saying.” Happiness over took my initial shock. “If you don’t want me to then...”

“No, I asked you and I meant it.” Grabbing the front of my shirt, he yanked me down until our faces were only an inch a part.

My eyes were wide at the sudden which made him enjoy it more. He was really something else.

“Good.” The kiss was quick and almost nonexistent leaving me to crave for me. “Should we get a bigger place or stay here?”

“I was thinking a bigger place.” Leaning down, I took control of the kiss this time not wanting him to pull away again. “Preferably in between the hospital and the police station.”

“That sounds perfect to me.” Pecking his lips one last time, I fully sat up bring him with me as our friends were sure to be tearing my home a part.

Leaving my room, I was right as there was a mess of food wrappers all over the floor and on the couch as they smacked away while watching Donghyuk’s new obsession. Groaning, I started picking them up not liking how dirty it had become in less than 20 minutes. Why do they live like this? Rolling my eyes, I snatched the bag of chips from Junhoe who had been nursing them since we entered, and seeing as how more than half of the bag is gone, he’s been eating them for a while now. Putting everything back where it belonged, I sat down on the floor leaning my head against the couch tuning myself into the drama that I practically knew nothing about.

The next few hours were spent with us watching this drama that I didn’t even know the title of, but Donghyuk was adamant on watching it as he wanted to finish it. Sighing, we had all split off into the cars we were riding in and making our way towards the club. It was different one this time from the ones we normal went to – it was extravagant. We had to park in this underground carpark and riding an elevator up, we were greeted with a host the moment the door opened. Greeting him back, Yun whispered something to him and whatever he had said registered quickly as he was soon tell us to follow him. We entered the club scene and instead of just being in the crowd like everyone else, we were shown up a pair of stairs and into a private room.

“All bring the drinks in a minute.” The host left causing the others to force me into my seat at the head of the table – it reminded me of a gang movie.

“What’s going on?” Yun had winked at me and I just knew that he did what he shouldn’t have. “How much did this cost?”

“Don’t worry about it, loser. As long as you enjoy yourself, price isn’t a problem.” I wanted to object but I was suddenly being pulled into Bobby and Junhoe’s conversation.

Once the host came back it got wild. They brought the bottles with sprinkles that light up the whole room and had the others going wild. I had thoroughly enjoyed myself as did the others as we ran back and forth from the dance floor to the room partying harder than we ever have before. I didn’t drink as much as I normally did for the sole fact that I wanted to be aware of my surroundings. Coming off the floor, Jinhwan and I ran back into the room covered in a thin layer of sweat and glitter from the canon that had gone off.

Sitting down next to Yun, who was gingerly sipping at his drink with an amused smile on his face. Leaning my head on his shoulder, he reached up patting my face wiping some of the sweat away when he took his hand away. Catching my breath, a little, I took his glass out of his hand throwing the rest of it back already knowing that that is my last cup for the rest of the night.

“Oh, I have your present.” Sitting up, I watched as he dug around in his backpack before pulling out a medium sized red velvet box. “Don’t say I never gave you anything.”

Popping it open, I was more than shocked to see a diamond encrusted bracelet. Staring at him, my mouth was agape as he must have spent a fortune on this and his part-time job wasn’t even all that. How did he get the money to afford this?

“H-How – Why?” Scooting closer to me, the music had gotten louder causing me to wonder if he was a psychic or something.

“You spent a lot of money on me, it’s only right that I do the same.” He put his hand over my mouth shushing me before I even got a chance to open it. “Not to mention our anniversary is coming up, so this can be a gift for that as well. Do you know how many long shifts I worked to afford that? Take it and don’t complain.”

Sighing, I nodded agreeing to take the gift that he had worked so hard for. Taking it out of the box, he grabbed the wrist that held the watch his dad brought me and clipping it on my wrist shined brighter than it ever had before. He really outdid himself.

“The most I was willing to spend for was 10k. Figure the price out from there.” Whispering it in my ear, I shook my head knowing that I was going to have a heart attack once I found out the price. “Let’s have a toast.”

Filling everyone’s glasses again, we all stood with our glass in hand smiling under the bright gold colored lights of the room. Everyone started to argue over who was going to do the toast causing a game to start and in the end Bobby won. He spoke a lot of nonsense as per usual, even taking a trip down memory lane that was not needed, before getting to the point.

“Cheers to the loser who has made something of himself!” Clinking our glasses together, we threw them back already knowing that we’d have to call drivers to take us home once the night was over. “Now, let’s party like unemployed bums!”

“Majority of you are.” Grabbing Yun’s arm, I pulled him out of the room before the others could fully comprehend what he had just said. “What?”

“I haven’t partied with you all night. I think I deserve a dance.” The song was about to change, so rushing to the floor, I pushed through the crowd until we were in the middle. “Loosen up, loser.”

“If I loosen up too much then I don’t think we’ll make it home in one piece.” I liked this cocky side to him, it made the night more interesting.

It made him more interesting.


	20. Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've been prickled by your thorns, my Rose, my Rose." - ELO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's really it for the blonde hair NKB era. I'll see you next update, also we're getting close to the Return Album.

Today was my first day of work after a two week break and I was not ready in the slightest. I had gotten assigned to the violent crimes division out of nowhere, and when I asked why I was picked they told me not to worry about it too much. Yeah, right, like I cannot worry about my life being in danger more than the normal average that police officers face. During the two-week break, we had started looking around for apartments and after visiting a few it seems like Yunhyeong is coming to a decision. I would put my input in but he told me to shut up and follow his lead as, and I quote, “Don’t know anything about how to look for a good place”. He’s clearly right, but I didn’t appreciate the fact that he had just knew that right off the bat.

Heading towards the door, he caught me as soon as I slipped my shoes on, handing me a lunch box and telling me to enjoy my day. Flashing him a quick smile, I ran out the door not wanting to be late on the first day – it’ll set a bad first expression. Rushing to the precinct, I parked in a random spot not thinking much of it as it was just a parking space. Getting out, I felt like a kid on his first day of school with the lunch box clutched tightly in one hand as my phone rested in the other. My phone flashed immediately catching my attention that was focused solely on not falling in front of my senior officers.

 _My Cutie ♥_ :

_Fighting!_

The nervous feeling that I had soon vanished at the small text that shouldn’t have calmed me down the way that it did. Entering the building, I had a slight smile on my face that fell once I came in contact with the officer who was impatiently waiting on me.

“Kim Hanbin?” Bowing to him, he patted my shoulder causing me to stand that nervous feeling hitting harder than before. “Follow me.”

Nodding, I trailed behind him like a dog does his owner listening closely to every last word that he did and didn’t say. We first went into the locker room as he pointed me towards my locker telling me to put my lunch box and anything else I had heavy inside of it. I only really had my lunch box, so shyly putting it inside, he slammed the locker door the moment my hands had moved away causing me to jump at the sound. I didn’t expect him to laugh at my reaction, but at least he showed a different expression from the one I had become used to. Next, we went into the squad room and it was in that minute that I realized this was sure to be headache in the long run.

“This is the rookie, Kim Hanbin.” He announced loudly causing the eyes that were busy to turn onto my slightly shaking figure.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” Bowing again, they just nodded before going back to their work – why was this so nerve-racking?

“You’ll be with me in Team 2, so do a good job, okay?” Pointing at my desk, I watched as he sat down a few seats down from me and I soon followed, sighing quietly to myself.

The next few hours until lunch was filled with me greeting people and learning my way around the building. By the time lunch had rolled around, I knew practically everyone except for the rest of my team’s members as they were at court for a case they had just finished. Well, at least I’ll be able to work on the next case – that is if they let me.

Stretching, I walk fast to the locker room grabbing my lunch box before heading out to my car wanting some peace and quiet. The squad room had gotten loud with Team 1’s loud arguing about what they felt had happened only for them to be shut up by their Team Leader a few seconds after. This was defiantly going to be a headache if they continued to yell like this. Softly closing the door, I turned on the car’s battery so that I could roll down the windows a little bit not wanting to die in this spring heat. Putting my phone into the holder, I called the only person who was going to comfort me in my time of distress and confusion.

“Just because it’s my day off doesn’t mean that I’m not busy.” It was clear that he was doing something by the noise in the background and how his head kept moving around.

“I’m busy, too!” Unzipping the lunch box, I pulled out the first thing I saw opening it to see that he had made all my favorites. “I just called because I didn’t want to spend my lunch break alone.”

“Did you not make any friends?” Groaning, that idea wasn’t even possible with how hectic it had gotten inside. “Aw, poor baby.”

Scoffing, I shook my head as it wasn’t that sad. He’s acting like I have no friends at all.

“What are you doing?” Changing the subject, he finally set the phone down somewhere showing the mess of boxes and things that laid sprawled out across the living room floor. “You didn’t even pick yet and you’re already packing up most of the house.”

“I did pick for your information, and she said for us to come down once you’re done with work to sign the papers.” Choking, I coughed hard trying not to die over the fact that he had actually made up his mind. “I was also looking online at furniture because whoever decorated clearly doesn’t know anything.”

“My mom -,” He started to crinkle paper already knowing what I was about to say causing us both to laugh. “Don’t break anything, okay?”

“You’re the one who breaks things, sir.” Stuffing my mouth with more food, I watched curiously as if it was a TV show or drama. “Why is there so much torn up paper? Is there a rat in here?”

“No, it’s just a habit I have, I’m surprised you didn’t notice earlier.” Tossing the torn pieces into a pile, he shook his head and it reminded me of a disappointed parent. “Don’t act like you don’t have weird habits.”

“I do?” He gasped harshly, holding onto his chest at the statement that was so utterly shocking.  

“When we’re about to eat, you talk through the whole process of picking what to eat, it sounds like you’re on an educational cartoon.” It became silent as I watched him sit for the longest time processing my words.

“Wow, I never noticed.” He continued to tapping a box together still a little shocked at the fact that he was as weird as I am.

We continued talking through the rest of my break and if it wasn’t for the knock on my window we would have probably continued to. Looking over, I almost had a heart attack as the guy who was showing me around gave me this creepy grin but his eyes were on my phone. I glanced between the two finally noticing that Yun was only dressed in one of my old shirts and his underwear as he moved around busily in front of the camera. Snatching it off the holder, I told him that I would see him later before hanging up not taking too kindly to the fact that he had invaded my personal space like that.

Rolling back up the windows, I zipped back up my now empty lunch box and sitting it on the passenger seat, I got out glaring at the weird guy. Slamming the door, I locked my car more than a few times as I walked away with him jogging lazily beside me trying to keep up.

“Who was that?” Ignoring his question, I headed towards my desk noticing the other, new, people that finished off the team’s area. “Oh, this is our rookie Kim Hanbin.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jaehoon.” Taking the hand, that the guy sitting next to me, extended out we shook firmly with each other. “That’s Rome; that’s Minwoo; that’s Jongsuk; that’s our Team Leader Jaebum, and the loser who has been showing you around is Seunghoon.”

Nodding, I couldn’t believe that it hadn’t dawned on me that he had only knew my name this whole time, while I didn’t even know his. Well, Seunghoon is an invasive creep. The moment I sat down, they started the whole questioning thing as they asked me for every last detail of my life. It went on for a while as they soon became quiet causing me to turn away thinking that they were done with their investigation, but I was wrong as per usual.

“Do you have a lover?” Nodding, I tried to hide my smile as thoughts of the one in question flooded my mind.

Ugh, I was whipped with extra stiff peaks. 

“Yeah. Do you want to see some pictures?” I felt like a proud parent showing off my child as a few of my teammates gathered around to watch me slide through my endless gallery of his photos.

“Woah, he’s hot! Look, Team Leader.” Minwoo took the phone from my hand running over to the elder who clearly didn’t care as much as they others did. “How did you get him? No offence or anything like that.”

Smacking my lips, I took my phone back the moment he was in arms reach causing me to stare at the most recent photo of him. He’s hot and he’s mine.

“We’ve been dating since the end of our 3rd year in high school, so I can’t really explain it much. I think it has to do with my good looks and amazing personality.” They all laughed in an uproar of claps, and hands slamming on their desk as if my statement was that shocking. “What?!”

“You have an abundance of self-confidence and it’ll take you far, kid.” Sighing, I couldn’t believe that they were just like Junhoe. Who would want to be like Junhoe?

When the working day was over, I practically ran home ready to go sign these papers and relax for a few hours. The moment I stepped through the front door, he was pulling me back out of it saying that we needed to hurry before she left for the day. I went along not understanding any of the other rambling he did and I was now glad that he was doing everything. It didn’t really take that long to sign everything and once it finalized she said that we could move-in in two weeks. Thanking her, I watched him skip in front of me with a huge smile on his face – it was cute.

Going back to the place that was soon to not be my home anymore, I flopped down on the couch curling up into the back of it sighing in relief. He jumped on me causing me to uncurl myself, lying flat on my back, with my eyes closed trying to not focus on the sudden addition of weight. He started asking me about my day and relaying to him everything that happened, he said that he should visit me whenever he was free making my right eye crack open to glare at him.

“It’s not my fault that I’m hot.” Wrapping my arms around him, I turned pulling him into the small space that was left between me and the back of the couch. “I can’t breathe!”

“Suffer.” I was ready to be hit instead he hugged me back – his sudden complaints disappearing completely.

~

It was moving day and it was also my only day of rest this whole week. My first case had come in and I was working extra hard to prove myself even though they told me that it was fine if I made a mistake from time to time. The comfort was nice but it did nothing to reassure the constant feeling of dread at the fact that I might ruin the case.

“Stop standing there and help me, idiot!” Flinching, I looked over to see that he was struggling to carry one of the many boxes. “We have way too much stuff.”

“You’re the one who brought so much new furniture only for the living to look unlived in.” Grabbing the box from his arms, it was indeed heavier than it looked – did he fill it with rocks?

Following behind the movers – who were practically running up the stairs – I couldn’t help but grumble about how we’ve been at it all morning and I was starving. He kicked me out of bed at the earliest hour he could possibly function at telling me to get dressed as the movers were only a few minutes away. The moment they arrived the whole apartment was filled with them moving everything out to the truck only for us to arrive and see that the furniture truck was already waiting on us. Why was moving so tiring?

Dropping the box on the floor, I looked around at the mess that was also going to be tiring to clean up. One of the movers came up asking where something went causing me to point towards the second bedroom. We had gotten a two bedroom for the sole fact that our friends got drunk and slept over at our old place a lot, so to stop them from ruining their backs we got a second bed. Watching as they ran around me sitting the furniture down, I sighed again completely in my own world ignored the sound a rushed feet hurrying towards me. My head fell forward from the hit and it took a whole 5 seconds for the pain to kick in causing me to yelp in pain.

“YAH!” Turning, I quickly swallowed my anger at the look of anger that was on the other’s face. “I mean, yes?”

“Why are you still standing around? Didn’t you see all those boxes out there before you came in? Do I have to do everything myself?” Taking a few steps back, I ran right past him and out the door to get the other boxes not needing to be told twice.

I ran back and forth for the next period of time carrying the heavy boxes as he stood in the middle of the room doing what I had just been doing. He was pointing to the rooms that each thing went in and after they ripped the plastic off of everything, they left with warm smiles at not having to put the home together for us. We both sat down on the floor staring at all the work we’d have to do and with him being a clean freak I was sure that he’d want to finish this all by tonight – no matter how long it takes.

Loud voices filled the hallway and already know who they belonged to, I fell back letting my head slightly bounce against the floor wishing that this was all a dream. Why show up when everything is practically done with? They could have at least come earlier and helped me carry those heavy boxes. Shoes filled the new foyer and as they soon entered the living room exclaiming on how nice the place was causing me to roll over onto my side. That part of the floor was cooler and not covered in sweat.

“So, when are we getting Jajangmyeon?” Of course they’d be over here to eat without doing an ounce of work.

“I’ll start ordering! Who’s paying?” I could feel all the eyes on me and it didn’t feel good at all.

“I’ll pay as part of my housewarming gift.” Chanwoo is the only one who truly has my back because my bank account was screaming at the moment. “When is the housewarming?”

“Whenever we have it.” It was funny to hear Yun sound so serious as he was clearly only doing it to get on the other’s nerves, like he did to our own.

Donghyuk ordered the food like he normally does; Bobby started to loudly play music; Junhoe rummaged the new fridge for something to drink as none of it was cold. Sighing, I looked over at Chanwoo to see that he was more than likely texting Jaewon; Jinhwan was on his phone as well doing whatever it is that he does, and Yun was just watching it all in amusement. I understood why he found humor in it as it was easy to point out what they were doing without actually being able to see them. They were the same as always and it was nice to know that they’ll not be changing any time soon.

When the food arrived, Chanwoo paid like how he offered to and bringing the food to the middle of the floor, we used an empty box as our table. We all looked like animals as we dug into our food as if it was our first and finale meal. Why did food taste best after a hard day’s work?

“So…are guys going to help us unpack?” Wiping their mouths, they stood heading for the door coming up with excuses of having work and needing to do homework. “You guys are garbage!”

“I’m glad you finally noticed.” Yun threw his slipper at Junhoe who was trying be smart causing it to hit his thigh. “Ow, that hurt.”

“Suck it up, buttercup.” Heading towards the door as well, I told him to start and I’d be back in time to help him. “I’m going to take Chanwoo home, seeing as how the others aren’t headed that way, okay?”

“Be safe.” Running out the door, I pushed the other along with me noticing how confused he was at the fact that I had suddenly offered to give him a ride.

“Bobby is headed that way.” Throwing my arm around his neck, I shushed him because Yun doesn’t know all that. “What are you doing?”

Moviing to shush him again, he grabbed my hand bending it back to the point that I was sure it was breaking.

“Imma call Hyung if you shush me again.” Promising not to, he finally let my hand go causing me to hold it to my chest wondering where he got all that strength from. “Now, where are you going?”

“The store.” Getting in the car, I didn’t care to answer his follow up questions as it was honestly none of his business.

The brat should be happy I’m even taking him home in the first place. Dropping him off, I waited until he had entered the building before pulling off as I needed to hurry up before they closed. It was getting dark out meaning that time was of the esscence. Arriving at the “store”, I jumped out running inside and looking around I found what I was looking for, so calling a worker over I asked for a dozen. She smiled telling me to wait a second as she prepared my small gift.

He hated the fact that I liked spending money on him because no matter the price, if I thought it would look good on him then I brought it. So as to not make him worry over nothing, I’ll get something cheap but full of meaning. She came back with what I asked for and taking them with a thankful smile, I hurried home already knowing that I had taken more time than I needed. Entering the home that still smelled brand new, I softly closed the door and walking towards the living room he was nowhere to be seen. The whole living room was practically put together at this point beside the garbage and few trinkets that laid across the couch. Going towards the bedroom, I heard his humming making my smile get even wider as I hid the gift behind my back.

“What are you doing?” He jumped like he always does and as he spun around clutching his chest, I laughed. “You finished the living room rather fast.”

“I couldn’t stand the mess, sorry. Also, I just started arranging our clothes and we both have a lot of dark clothes. They’re sure to get mixed up.” Nodding, I went deeper into the room taking my seat next to him on the floor leaning against the box he was currently emptying. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No, not at all.” I thought long and hard on how to present it to him, and if it wasn’t for him being so quickminded I would have been able to think of something.

“What’s behind your back?” Shaking my head, I was stuttered trying to think of a better response than ‘nothing’. “Hand it over.”

Huffing, I handed it over watching his facial expression change from stern to soft in a matter of seconds. Taking the boquet of red roses from my hand, he hugged them to his chest as if he was a child with a stuff animal. He held my hand in a way that only those in movies would and I couldn’t help but feel good about what I had done.

“Congratulations on moving in with Kim Hanbin.” Scowling at me, I swung his hand around fast making him laugh before telling me to stop.

“The same could be said to you. Congratualtions on moving in with Song Yunhyeong.” We were perfect for each other and nothing would ever change that.

He was my past, present, and future all wrapped into one. Hes my first real relationship and he’ll probably be my last. I feel so sappy thinking all of this.


	21. Daydream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Here you are, out of reality, you got me daydreaming till dawn." - JooYoung

I love living with him – I really do – but I now knew what they meant about how you never truly know anyone until you live with them. He nagged from sunrise until sunset about every little thing. He’d even call me when I’m at work asking me why I didn’t do what he asked. ‘Clearly, I’m busy!’, is what I want to say but I don’t want to end up homeless, so I keep my words to myself. It’s been three weeks and it’s slightly becoming normal to be like this.

“YAH! KIM HANBIN!” Rubbing my arm on the empty sheets next to me, I groaned softly before opening my eyes to see him standing in the doorway with gloves on.

“Mhm?” Slowly sitting up, I scratch my neck and head staring at him in wait for his nagging.

“Don’t ‘mhm’ me! Didn’t I tell you to wipe the sink whenever you get done brushing your teeth and washing your face? There’s water and diluted toothpaste stains everywhere!” Throwing my head forward in apology, he didn’t seem to take it as he clearly had more to say. “Also, is it that hard to flush the toilet after using it?! I know you come home late, but please be a little hygienic.”

He stomped away in the direction of the bathroom once more, loudly grumbling under his breath about how dirty I am. Sighing, it took everything in me to not get up and lock the door so that he wouldn’t come back. I should have because he came back a few minutes later clutching dirty clothes in his gloved hands that were shaking with so much anger. Throwing them at me, I took the hit not even noticing that he was following them. My ear was snatched in this painful grip that he twisted in between his thumb and pointer finger, pulling me off of the bed and into the living room.

“Get out and don’t come back until I call for you.” It took a while for me to understand what he was saying causing me to look down at myself.

I was only in my underwear and seeing as how he kept pushing me towards the door, he was expecting me to get out without any clothes on. There was only one logical thing to do in this situation, and that was fake a beg and drag him off to bed. Dropping to my knees, I held his thighs with a pitiful look already seeing that his features were softening.

“I’m sorry, I’ll do better, okay? I’ll even clean the bathroom for you, and the bedroom.” The moment he huffed, I snaked my arms around his waist lifting him off the ground. “After our nap, though.”

“Hanbin, let me down, now!” His limbs were all over the place as he beat on my back and almost kicked me in my crown jewels a few times, but that still didn’t stop me. “If you don’t -.”

I should have listened – I really should have. The fact that he missed the first few times had me confident in the fact that he obviously wouldn’t, sadly he did. His shin had swiftly, and lightly, came in contact with my prized possession causing me to immediately stumble and fall to the ground. He caught himself so that he was standing in front of me with a triumphant smile on his face. Why is he so mean to me?

“Clean, now, please.” Snatching off his gloves, he sat them down in front of my pained covered face before stepping over me and heading into the kitchen.

“I don’t think I can walk anymore.” He didn’t hit me that hard, but the pain was still there making it hard for me to stand.

“Oh, you can’t?” Forcing myself up, he stood behind me with the vacuum looking ready to suck my underwear off.

Acting as if I didn’t say anything, I ran into the bathroom wobbling a little as I took over what he had left off on. I took my time cleaning really not seeing what was all the dirty, but he kept peeking in telling me that I was missing spots, so I just went extra slow. When I had finished, I took off the gloves hanging them on the cabinet beneath the sink not wanting to hear his voice again. Coming out, the rest of the home was spotless leaving me to wonder if he had gotten the bedroom as well, so opening the door I was surprised to find him facedown snoring into the sheets.

“If you were tired, then you should have cleaned after getting some rest, idiot.” Squatting down in front of him, I turned his head so that he would suffocate. “Black hair looks really good on you.”

He wasn’t going to respond back, obviously, but I just felt the need to say it.

Lightly playing in his hair, I took in how the sun melted into his features causing them to glow in an inhuman way. The thin layer of sweat that had covered his forehead from how hard he must have been cleaning made his skin look as if it had glitter in it. His lips were covered in the same lip balm that he’s been wearing since forever causing a slight fruity scent to radiate from them. A light pink tint that was almost invisible flushed his cheeks as he dreamed about something I’d never see – I hope I’m in it. Taking my hand from his hair, I lightly played with his curled up hand with the ring that glistened in the sun as well. I could just tell from the slightly red undertone that his fingers were overworked from over cleaning, his part-time job and all his school work. He should slow down before he gets carpool tunnel or worse.

Standing, I changed into something light before heading out into the living room thinking of what to do for the rest of the day. We both had today off which usually meant staying home and relaxing, besides his need for early morning cleaning. The windows were wide open airing out the smells that have settled themselves inside for the past few weeks. Yawning, I stretched my fatigue riddled muscles wishing that it would give me some ideas.

After a few minutes of just stretching in front of the window, I had nothing, so I decided to call my dad as I knew he had today off as well. He answered rather quickly sounding happier than he had the last time I called.

“I was just about to call you.” My laughter was light as I stared at the sky noticing how blue the sky is. “When is my son coming to visit me?”

“Mhm. How about later today?” He agreed immediately, pulling the phone away from him to tell my mom that I was coming.

“Okay, so what are you going to do while Yunhyeong is over here?” Choking on my disbelief, he laughed hard in my ear to the point where he was wheezing for air. “I’m kidding; I’m kidding. Make sure to bring something good to eat, okay?”

“Is mom working today?” She was clearly at home – not like she had to cook or anything, it was just that she always did.

“Yeah, she’s heading out now and won’t be back until late; and I don’t want to starve.” Oh, that made sense.

Promising to bring him something to eat, we said our goodbyes and once the phone was away from my ear I couldn’t help but notice how short the call was. Eh, we’ll see each other later so what does it really matter.

Looking at the time, it was time for the other to give up as he must have been sleeping for at least an hour at the time I checked on him. Of course, he should get all the rest he needs but we needed to think of what to get for when we went to my parent’s place. His positioned had changed since I moved him around as he was now on his back with his arms raised above his head. ‘Hooray!’, was the only thing that went through my head looking at him. Climbing into bed, I laid on top of him waiting for him to do something only for him to continue his snore fest. Sitting up, I straddled his waist listening to him groan before it was replaced with another snore at the end. There was only one solution to this problem and I was obviously going to take it. Wiggling my fingers along his side, he immediately jumped up screaming at me to stop as it tickled – that exactly the point of tickling someone.

“Are you up?” I stopped for a second allowing him to catch his breath and answer me. “If not, then -.”

“YES! I’m up. I’m up, jerk.” Grabbing my hands to stop my second attack, I smiled down at his annoyed expression taking it all in as if it was a drink of sunlight.

Leaning down, I intertwined our fingers before kissing him. His guard should have been up but it was down not worrying about me attacking him in a different way. Pulling away, he followed not even realizing that I had kissed him to wake him up. Opening his eyes, he rolled them, pushing me off of him and taking his hands out of my own. Someone is a little cranky after their nap. Throwing my limbs over him, I didn’t want to move just yet.

“I talked to my dad and he told us to come over.” Humming, I lightly ran my fingers up the side of his neck stopping to play with his earlobe. “I was thinking that since my mom worked, we could cook for him.”

“You mean; I cook while you stand in the kitchen watching.” Pffting him, I shook my head because I was actually going to help this time. “Fine, if you’re going to help, then I’ll cook. but if you don’t then we’re ordering delivery.”

Nodding, we rolled out of bed to start cooking. As he dug through the fridge, he listed a feast that I’m sure we didn’t have enough containers for. Which I should check on and rinse out for packaging later. Digging through the cabinet that they were in, I pulled out the biggest containers along with a few medium sized ones. Turning on the faucet, I rinsed them out with hot water listening to him talk about his day yesterday as he was asleep when I had gotten home. Making the water lukewarm, we switched spots as he rinsed off the vegetables while I took the containers to the table to dry them. 

“Have you talked to Bobby recently?” Shaking my head, I had finished drying the last container. “Oh, really? Well, Donghyuk told me that he’s been acting weird these past few days, so I thought you might know something.”

“The last time we talked was almost two weeks ago. He asked me this funny question and after hearing my serious answer, he thanked me and hung up.” I couldn’t remember the question for the life of me but I knew it had to do with his body, I think. “How is he being weird?”

“He said that he’s been ignoring his calls, or keeping them short, and he doesn’t visit the dorms as much anymore. I told him that maybe he’s busy, so not to think too deep into it, but he said that he doesn’t have any assignments until finals.” That is weird, especially for him. “Chop these up. Don’t make them too chunky or too thin, okay?”

“Yes, mom.” The knife he was holding stilled before moving again causing my heart to drop for a second. “Why are all the males in your family so violent?”

“I get it from my mom and Chanwoo gets it from his. It’s funny because his mom is my dad’s younger sibling, but our moms’ act alike.” Yeah, instant death was very funny. “That’s too thick.”

“Sorry!” Slicing it thinner, he seemed content with the size of it making me work faster than I ever have before. 

Once all the vegetables were sliced and diced, I tried to step back only for him to pull me closer to the stove.

“A cook should never be afraid of oil, or else you’ll never be a real cook.” His words really meant nothing to me as I didn’t consider myself a cook – I was barely good enough to be able to cook for myself.

Showing me how to cook one of the dishes, I jumped every time the oil popped. It’s hard to act as if you aren’t getting burned or close to being burned. I ended up working on that one dish for longer than need causing him to push me out of the way. Thankfulness had graced my features as he told me to start putting the other dishes he had finished into the containers while he fixed my mess. Doing what I was told, I packed everything until there was nothing left to pack and putting them into some eco-thermal bag (he had brought it out of nowhere), we were ready to go.

“I can’t believe we spent all morning cooking and cleaning.” The look of disbelief he had thrown at me with his loud scoff was all I needed to know. “I’m going to start the car.”

I was already dressed, so throwing on a jacket and some random shoes that were by the front door, I grabbed the heavy bag filled with hot food. Heading downstairs, I sent a quick text to Bobby asking him if everything was alright. Opening the backdoor, I sat the bag on the seat, buckling it in just to be safe, before climbing into the driver’s seat and starting the car. Checking my phone for the reply, it was sort and curt making me worry because his texts were always long and filled with many emojis. I’ll call him later – I shouldn’t press too much if something is really wrong.

I must have been too into analyzing his text to realized that the person I was waiting on had gotten dressed and was now heading towards the car. The passenger door flying open had my head snapping to the side in surprise. A sigh of relief had left my lips at the fact that it was only him – I didn’t have the proper tools to fight off a robber or anyone in that line of work. I’m a sorry policeman, but I’m still a rookie so it’s okay.

“Why are you so jumpy?” Shaking my head, I watched him put his seatbelt on before settling into the seat, eyes watching me careful the whole time. “Who were you texting?”

“Huh? Oh, it was only Bobby. I asked if he was okay and he said yeah.” Squinting at me, he pointed at me in this way that said ‘I’m dead if I’m lying’. “Well, dad must be starving. Let’s go!”

Pulling out of the spot, he turned on the radio, changing the station until it was something that he liked. Nodding along to the beat, we drove in a comfortable silence for most of the ride. That was until his phone had rang causing the car to be filled with his chatter about a subject I had no knowledge on. Names and things were being said that left me more confused than I should be. I never asked knowing that if it had to do with me or one of our friends then he’s sure to tell me the moment he got off the phone.

That never did happen which was weird, maybe later. Arriving at the home I spent most of my life in, I parked next to my dad’s car. Taking the bag from the backseat, we headed inside both happy about seeing my dad – I wished my mom didn’t have to work, then this could have been a little family thing. Riding the elevator up, Yun was acting impatient which wasn’t weird as he was an impatient person – his nagging was a clear indicator. Once the doors opened, he sprinted down the hall towards the door that my dad is behind and pressing in the code I watched him disappear behind it. At least, he left it cracked. Entering, I saw the sight of my dad spinning Yun around with this wide grin on his face – this favoritism thing is getting out of hand.

“Dad, I’m going to tell mom that you’re trying to steal Yun from me.” Sitting the bag on the counter, he put the one in question down to come over in elope me in a hug of my own.

“Jealously is an ugly trait to have, Bin.” Me? Jealous? Maybe. “Come on, I’ll give you a spin as well.”

“No thanks, I’m heavier than you; plus, I don’t need mom yelling at me for breaking her husband.” Slapping my back, I glared at him not understand why he had inflicted pain to me out of nowhere.

“Too bad.” Sticking his tongue out at me, I had to gage his mental age for a second because he was worse than me. “What did you cook, Yun?”

“I helped, too!” He gave me this weird look that held a lot of different meanings. “I’m serious, dad. You can ask Yun.”

“He chopped the vegetables, and packaged the food.” Patting my chest, I stepped back with my arms out waiting for my praise. “He also almost ruined a dish because he was afraid of the oil popping, so I basically did everything.”

My face fell as I watched the two snicker at me. Is this the thanks I get for trying to help? I’m never doing it again! Is what I’d like to say, but I was forced to help set the table. We ate in light chatter as Yun told me dad of everything that I’ve ever done since we moved in together. The old man agreed that I had always been the way I am and started replying with stories of his own. Why are they so mean to me? I didn’t even do anything to them. Sighing, I grabbed my plate putting it into the sink as my dad offered to do the dishes seeing as how we made the food.

Leaving the table, I shuffled into my old room running right into my bike. Lucky for me, I had caught myself in just enough time to not hit my head on the bed and ultimately die in the end. Taking a deep breath to calm my frantic heart, I looked at the bike being hit instantly with old memories of when I was younger. The paint had peeled a little from years of riding it causing the hallow metal underneath to shine through brightly. The tires were still full which meant that no one had taken it for a spin while I was gone or anything like that. Maybe, I should take it out for one last ride?

“What are you doing?” A sudden presence next to me should have been alarming but I was used to the suddenness that my father liked.

“I’m thinking about going for a ride.” Nodding, he told me to hurry up before it got late as he was going to do the dishes.

Rolling the bike out into the living room, I tilted my head towards the door causing the full person to jump up and run towards the door. I couldn’t help but feel like a high schooler all over again, the only thing we were missing were the uniforms. Making it back outside, I sat down bouncing a little trying to get used to feeling of the tiny seat under my butt again.

“Handlebars or back pegs?” Smiling at him, the version in front of me suddenly changed to the version of him when I had taken him on our first date.

Ashy grey-ish blue hair that framed his baby fat covered face nicely along with his clothes that he had spent all morning picking out. The shy but excited smile that was on his face at the fact that it was the first time had my heart beating hard in my chest. He soon came back to version of him now as he stood in front of me with black hair that glistening in the setting sun, and his baby fat-free face that now only held strong features. The clothes he wore were still nice even though he didn’t spend all morning picking them out making my heart beat even hard. Why is he so good looking?

Choosing the back pegs, his hands squeezed my shoulders tightly like how they did that time. He never really changed and I’m just now noticing it.

“I’ll be careful.” Scoffing, his hands became arms that wrapped around my neck pulling me into this awkward hug. “I’m serious this time.”

The moment he straightened up, I pushed us forward peddling faster than I probably should be. I went around the familiar corners fast listening to his encouragement at the sudden adrenaline that pumped through our bodies. Making it to the skate park, faster than I ever have before, I jumped onto the track racing us around it. When my legs started to hurt, I took my feet off the peddle raising them a little as we cruised the rest of the way until we slowly but surely started to come to a stop. Lightly pressing on the breaks, I brought my legs down making the stop as smooth as possible.

“That was fun, let’s go again.” He sounded like a kid at an amusement park causing me to shake my head in pure exhaustion.

“You can ride it.” Getting off, he took my spot staring at me in worry. “I’ll walk along side of you.”

Nodding, he slowly peddled ahead turning back every so often to check on me but I only waved at him. The smiles we both had were almost ear splitting as we had gone back to a time where we both weren’t busy with life. To a time where we had freedom filled with youth. He soon started to do his famous circles around me calling me everything but my name.

“Old man, walk faster.” Stopping, he did the same before staring up again. “The old man is having a fit!”

All I could do was laugh because it was funny. He was soon rushing at me with the bike going at fully speed, but I didn’t move from my path. The bike screeched to a stop causing the back tire to lift up and his head to tap my chest as the front tire was situated nicely between the gap in my legs. Staring down at him, his eyes were wide not at all expecting that he would stop so close.

“Hanbinnie~.” Flashing me this child-like smile, I grabbed his head pulling him into a kiss that wasn’t made for public display.

My tongue was so far down his throat that it took the street light coming on for me to remember that we were outside. Pulling away, I used my jacket sleeve to wipe the saliva and lip balm from around his mouth.

“Yunnie~.” The blush from the kiss had intensified ten-fold at the sudden sweetness that had entered my voice. “I was dead serious when I said that you’re my type.”

Holding the handlebars, I stared at him hoping that he’d forever understand how crazy I am about him. I was so in love with him that I wouldn’t care if he ran me over with the car – I would still want to be with him. Tilting his head up, he dug in his pockets producing his forever lip balm and grabbing my face, he put it on for me before doing the same.

“And here I’m thinking you were going to say you love me.” Placing his hands on top of my own, I was suddenly hit with memories of when we had first met – the way how he kept moving his hand closer to my own until they were on top of my own. “Well, I felt the same way back then, and it’ll probably be that way for a long time. We’ve spent the last 3 years together which can only mean that I’ll be stuck with you for life.”

“I love you.” Leaning in close, he only smiled wider – it left me momentarily blinded.

“I love you, too, old man.” There was just something about him that made me feel as if I’m on cloud nine whenever we’re together – I hope this feeling lasts forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness. I've been working on this multi-chapter Yunbob fic that I'm more than likely going to post once I'm done with this fic. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you at the next update.


	22. BEAUTIFUL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm feeling so good, when I look into your beautiful two eyes it feels like the world is mine - dancing under the moon." -IKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The RETURN ERA HAS STARTED!!!!!!
> 
> Time skip to a Year (Forgot to add)
> 
> Also, I recently made a AU page on twitter wanting to try it as it seems fun.  
> It's @shineyunhyeong2, if you want to join me for the long ride - the first AU is a Yunbob one. I need to feed the Nation! It's also pretty angst and sexual but happy endings are in order - I'll be posting later this afternoon. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter and see you next update. P.S I already wrote the LS chapter.

“Are you sure? Mhm, I guess I’ll just send you the pictures then. No, it’s fine – I promise. Yeah, I’ll see you this weekend. Love you, too. Bye.” Hanging up, I stared at my phone watching as my mom’s contact disappeared from my screen.

“Yun, the ceremony is starting.” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I stuffed my phone under my grown running after Jinhwan.

We didn’t sit together as it went by last name, but we were both on the same side of the hall. Bobby, Donghyuk, and Jinhwan all sat together while Junhoe is on the opposite side with the G/K’s and I’m in the back with the few S’s. Everyone else in my row at least shares the same last name with someone else, except for me – I seemed to be the only Song in this whole graduating class.

Taking my seat, I glanced around catching sight of the three idiots, who are waving and smiling at us from up in the stands. At least, I have them. My parents ended up not being able to take off from work for one of the biggest events in my life which, of course, made me sad. But it isn’t all that bad. I have my friends, a family member and my boyfriend all here to support me, so it isn’t all that bad at all. Once the ceremony started, nervousness had settled in where it shouldn’t, making my teeth chatter and my bottom lip slightly swollen from me chewing on it.

I don’t know how I made it through it but I got my diploma and that’s all that matters. Rushing outside, suddenly, I was caught and being picked up causing me to yelp in surprise. While slowly being lowered to the ground, I took in his nervous face that had me kissing it because it was cute even though I was sure I had lost my life for a second. Once my feet hit the ground, Woo and Jaewon came up congratulating me in the most normal way possible – which I’m more than thankful for.

We ran through the pictures quickly as Woo and Jae had a class to attend and the others were going out with their families. In the end, it’s just Hanbin and I who are both more than confused at how fast it cleared out. A loud sigh left my lips as we walked down the steps towards his car.

“I have to get back to work. Do you want me to drop you off at home?” So, he’s leaving too. “Aww, don’t pout like that. I’ll buy you a cake if you want?”

“I don’t want a stupid cake.” Grumbles left my mouth faster because this is just unbelievable. “Can I go to work with you? I want to meet your team, please.”

“I-I don’t know if I can.” Giving him my best puppy dog eyes, he finally gave in telling me to give him a minute while he called and asked.

Jumping a little, I took off my cap and gown, tossing them on the backseat with my diploma before getting in the passenger seat. Fixing my clothes and hair, he opened the door climbing into the driver’s seat with a defeated look on his face. I’m guess, I can go.

“Let’s go.” Screaming in excitement, I drummed on the dashboard and glove compartment as I’ve been waiting for the last year and a half for this day.

He’s always busy, so I never got the chance to meet them and whenever I brought him his lunch, he met me outside. I have a feeling he’s keeping me from them, but I’m not going to jump to conclusions like that. Asking questions about his teammates, he gave me the bare minimum along with details about each person’s physical appearance while telling me to stay away from someone named Lee Seunghoon. I tried to get more information out of him about this Seunghoon person, but he just kept saying to not be around him if he’s in the room. Giving up, I shrugged going back to the music that fueled my earlier excitement.

Arriving, I jumped out bouncing where I now stood waiting on Mr. Rookie who’s taking his sweet time coming around the car. The moment he was in my vision, I took his hand in my own noticing how his face was set in this deep frown. Sighing, I let go of his hand sitting on the steps as it’s clear that he doesn’t want me here. How selfish can someone be? I just want to get to know who he’s working with in case of an emergency and I can’t contact him.

“What’s wrong?” Smacking my lips, I crossed my arms wondering how his whole mood can change just like that.

“You don’t want me here, that’s what’s wrong, Kim Hanbin.” It’s been a while – more like a few hours – since I last called him by his full name but it feels right in this situation.

“I never said that. I do want you here.” Sitting next to me, I turned my back to him sulking more than I normally do.

“Well, you’re not acting like it. I just want to get to know your team members, and you’re being all sour over that fact.” His laughter filled my ears causing me to glance over to see that he’s really enjoying himself.

“Hey,” Ignoring him, he started bumping my knee with his own trying to my attention. “Hey, Yun?”

“What?” Fully turning so that we’re face-to-face, he grabbed my arms pulling them apart so that he could hold my hands.

“Congratulations. I love you.” My blush was fierce at how sweet his whole demeanor became – he’s so cute!

“Don’t try to butter me up, mister.” Leaning in, our foreheads touched causing his grin to become even wider while I had gone cross-eyed trying to look serious.

“This is a police station not a film set.” Turning, we were both met with the smiling face of someone unfamiliar – to me at least – causing me to jump back tumbling down the few steps that were beneath me.

Landing on my side, I groaned loudly trying to focus on breathing again. Who the heck just scares someone like that?! I was suddenly being sat up by none other than Hanbin as he stared at me in concern. The person who scared us was still squatted on the step looking down when a face that said ‘my bad’. Rolling my eyes, I nodded trying to calm the idiot down because I only scrapped up my arm, nothing more nothing less. Helping me up, he moved me to the opposite side of him pulling me into the precinct glaring at the other the whole time.

“Yah, is that anyone to look at your superior! I said I was sorry, Rookie.” Hanbin let out this hard scoff not even caring to look back and acknowledge the other who’s following behind us. “Did you just scoff at me? Yah! I’ll have you on desk work for the next month!”

“You have no real authority!” There bickering continued even after we had entered the squad room – I had to introduce myself to everyone. “Sit, I’ll get the first-aid kit.”

“Bin, I told you that I’m fine. I promise I am.” Smiling at him, he nodded finally giving in as he pulled up another chair telling me to sit next to him. “Why is your desk so bare? I’ll bring you some pictures tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.” His teammates started to snicker and I already knew the reason why – Hanbin does act lovesick, but I love it, so I don’t care.

“Whipped.” The guy from earlier flopped down in his seat scooting it closer to us until he was leaning onto Bin’s desk partner. “Uber whipped. What do you even see in this loser?”

“What don’t I see? It’s been four years and I just keep falling deeper and deeper. Its sappy isn’t it?” Laughing to hide my embarrassment, they had moved in even closer than before staring at me as if I was behind a TV screen.

“He’s literally an angel.” The one who introduced himself as Minwoo clasped his hands together making me giggle. “How he can put up with this idiot for four years is only proof to further prove these claims. Hanbin must have been an animal before you got together, so I want to thank you for making him into a somewhat human being. Fighting!”

“I was not an animal and I’m not an idiot! What the hell are you cheering him on for?” Wrapping my arms around Hanbin’s neck, he instantly calmed down making me snuggle in closer. “H-Hey, everyone is staring.”

It’s weird for him to whisper, especially with a small stutter and a blush that’s deeper than its normal shade.

“Gross.” Glancing behind his head, I took in the disgusting look on Seunghoon’s face, so I did the only logical thing there is to do – I winked at him before lightly licking Hanbin’s ear.

“Stop, that tickles.” The moment those words left his mouth all of their phones lit up at the same time. “Oh, we have to go. Can you wait until I get a chance to come back and take you home?”

“Yeah, good luck.” Letting go, he rushed out behind the others leaving me alone in this huge room by myself. 

Walking around, I looked at everything that the room had to offer. There isn’t much besides desks and moveable white boards with scribbles written on them – there’s also a table with soft chairs and a hard bench. Staring at the bench, I couldn’t help the yawn that shook my whole body as I had woken up earlier than I normally do. I literally spent two hours picking out a outfit only for it to be  hidden under a gown the whole time. Hanbin has left one of his jackets thrown over the back of his chair, so grabbing it I went to the bench to lay down. It was a tight squeeze but after throwing half of my legs over the arm it had gotten comfortable enough. Pulling the coat over me, I knocked out immediately.

I don’t know how long I was out for but when I had been shaken awoke it was dark and the lights were blinding. Turning to get a better look around, I came face-to-face with Seunghoon who seemed to be enjoying himself. He’s kind of creepy but in a ‘I-have-something-to-say-but-I-won’t’ way. Jumping back, I quickly sat up scratching my neck trying to figure out what time it is. By the looks of outside it seemed to be pretty late, even the street lights are on.

“Evening Sleeping Beauty.” Rubbing at my eyes, I noticed the blanket that was covering my lower half. “Sorry, you looked cold, so I got a blanket from the resting room. You know you could have slept in there instead of on this hard bench?”

If I knew that then I obviously would have – maybe I should have slept in an empty cell?

“Thank you, Seunghoon-ssi.” Moving my legs so that my feet are touching the ground, I yawned again. “Where’s Hanbin?”

“He stepped out for a minute to go get something. Said he’d be back in like 20 minutes.” Nodding, I neatly folded back up the blanket, handing it to him with a thankful smile. “Wants some water?”

“Sure.” I didn’t really know what to say as Hanbin’s words to ignore him floated through my tired mind.

Leaving the room, he disappeared into the hallway causing me to stand as I put on the jacket before flopping down at Hanbin’s desk. Swiping my hands back and forth in the empty spaces, I momentarily forgot where I am as I had gotten lost in disgust at the dust and dirt. I’ll buy him cleaning supplies along with the pictures. What pictures should I bring? One of me, our gang, his parents, and one of our photo shoot pictures – that should be enough, right? I should always buy him some things to decorate with besides the photos – stickers? No, that’s too childish.

“Here, water.” The cup was sat down in between the gap of my arms causing it to almost slip.

“Thanks, again.” Sipping on it, the room had suddenly fallen quiet even though it’s pretty full.

Why is no one talking?!

“What was the emergency for? If it’s fine for me to ask.” Jaehoon flipped through the files in front of him with a sigh.

“Some crazy bastard murdered and raped a whole family, even the toddler.” Gagging, he went back to his files probably not wanting to talk about it anymore. “Oh, I almost forgot. Congratulations on graduating and getting the job at the hospital.”

“Thank you. It seems we’ll be working together often, so I’ll be in your care.” They all laughed before joining in to tell me not to be so serious.

Hurried footsteps filled the room causing us to turn back and see the smiling idiot running towards us. He looked as if he’s on cloud nine.

“Come on, let’s go, Yun.” Nodding, I stood taking the hand he held out for me.

“It was nice meeting you all.” It was a collective goodbye that had me smiling wide.

Leaving the precinct, he held my hand so tight that I was sure my fingers were going to break. Something must be bugging him. Making it to the car, we both got in taking a deep breath as the engine reeved to life.

“Seunghoon isn’t all that bad. He even brought me water.” I don’t know why that was the first thing I said but it happened to be the most recent event. “Although, you were right about him being weird.”

“What did he do to you?!?!” He started to slam on the breaks only to think against it causing the car to jerk a little.

“Have you lost your mind?!” Punching him, I couldn’t believe that I had saw my life flash for a second. “And he did nothing, it was just that when I woke up he was too close to my face. It’s nothing to kill someone over.”

“Sorry.” Now, he wants to act like a defeated puppy.

“Mhm, whatever.”

Making it home, he held me back a little telling me to close my eyes. Doing so even though I understood nothing, I allowed him to unsafely walk me into our apartment. It was weird as he was doing weird thing – taking my (his) jacket and pulling off my shoes – all the while my eyes are still closed. The moment we left the foyer I heard a crunch under my feet that had me jumping back in surprise. I’m getting surprised a lot today.

“What is that?” I wanted to peek but he suddenly slapped his hand over my eyes for extra blindness.

“Hold on. Take two steps forward. Okay ~ good! Stop.” Stopping, I wiggles my socked covered feet trying to get the crunchy things away. “Open your eyes!”

The moment his hand pulled away my eyes flung open to see a row of fake flower petals, that I’m currently standing on. Walking my forward, I couldn’t help the giddy feeling inside of me and the moment we entered the living room it became full blown. Tears clouded my vision as I wiped at them harshly not wanting to ruin this moment.

“Are you crying? Ha, crybaby.” Punching his arm, I took my seat at the small table that held a meal he obviously didn’t cook. “I asked Jinhwan to do me a small favor.”

“I should thank him, then.” He gasped in betrayal making me laugh. “What’s that for?”

Next to the table, at an angle, was a laptop that seemed to be open and ready for us.

“Oh, hold on.” Checking his phone, he suddenly went towards it turning it on.

I watched him type and bang away at the keyboard for a few minutes until I had gotten bored of being confused. Pouring us both a glass of wine, I sniffed/slurped it like Jinhwan said to do as it made it more fragrant or whatever he was saying. In the end it all tasted the same to me. Swallowing, I turned back to Hanbin to see him turning towards me with a proud smile. The screen was still black when he had sat down only for my dad’s confused face to pop up a few seconds later.

“CAN YOU SEE US?! HELLO?! I don’t think it’s working.” Choking, I coughed hard as it was unexpected.

“Maybe if you backed away from the screen then it can work, honey.” They started bickering about why it wasn’t working, even though it was perfectly fine.

“Oh, I see them now! Yun, can you see us?!” Smiling, I nodded causing him to sigh in relief. “Sorry for not being able to attend the ceremony earlier, but just know we’re proud and still love you very much.”

“We gave Hanbin your gift, so make sure you send me a picture of you wearing it, okay?” My mom is so sweet – she didn’t have to get me anything.

“Will do.” Turning to face Hanbin, he had an even bigger smile than me and my parents combined.

“Let’s eat before the food gets cold.” Laughing, I noticed that they were sitting down waiting to eat as well.

It was a weird experience but it was still a good one. We ate and chatted through our computer screens and when it was time for them to say goodbye it felt like a phone call. Once it ended, the wall paper he had showed causing me to laugh at his cute baby picture. It’s now just the two of us as I offered to clean up seeing as how Jinhwan worked so hard.

“What do we do about the petals?” Staring at the mass amount, he shrugged going straight into the bedroom – rude. “I guess throw them away? Yeah, let’s do that. Why am I talking to myself?!”

At first I was going to vacuum them up but I didn’t want to mess it up, so I had to go manual with a broom and dustpan. It didn’t take long to sweep up though they kept falling out the dustpan which had me wanting to quit. With that done, I rolled up my sleeves to do the dishes that he should be doing, but I offered so I need to suck it up.

“From your parents.” My hands were covered with suds making it so that all I could do was stare at the box. “Oh, sorry.”

Opening it, he pulled out a necklace that held a small key on the end. A million thoughts ran through my mind only for them to all be answered by him pulling out a second neck. This one was exactly the same but it held a tiny lock. Ugh, she’s so cheesy! Coming behind me, he fastened the first necklace around my neck complementing me the whole time.

“You’re really trying to butter me up. What did you do?” Scrubbing the last dish, I rinsed every thing off while waiting for my answer.

“Nothing.” Turning the faucet off, I dried my hands turning to face him. “I can’t complement my beautiful boyfriend? Do I need a reason to?”

“No but it’s never to this extent, so fess up in three seconds.” Holding out three fingers I started to count loudly. “THREE….TWO…ON-.”

“Fine!” Smirking in victory, I crossed my arms in wait. “Ikindofmaybedestroyedyourfavoriteshirtthismorning.”

“YOU WHAT?! What do you mean you destroyed it?!” Reaching into one of the kitchen cabinets, he produced the destroyed article of clothing that I cherished greatly. “This is practically pieces of fabric. How could you?!”

“It was an accident, really! I was going to wear it but then I spilled juice on it, so I brought it to the sink to wash it off. Clumsy me forgot which switch was the light switch, and your sleeve just so happened to be in the drain and yeah. I saved what I could though.” Slapping my forehead, my only thoughts were of skinning him alive and wearing it as a replacement. “I’ll buy you a new one. We can even go with your parents this weekend.”

Taking a deep breath, I took all the fire in me wanting the neighbors to know that he’s dying tonight. That was the shirt my dead grandma gave me.

“KIM HANBIN, IT’S YOUR DEATH DAY!!” He ran out of the kitchen but sadly I was right on his tail. “YOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME DEMON!”

“please…I love you!” Slamming the bedroom door behind us, I showed him just how beautiful this life really is.


	23. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is everyone the same as me, but just holding it in?" - 10cm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing a 3-Day back-to-back update seeing as how I've been had the next two chapters done and over with. Anyway, enjoy and see you tomorrow.

I ended up being assigned to the ER, which isn’t bad at all, but it is very hectic. That means 12 hour shifts almost every single day unless said otherwise – it could be longer or shorter hours. It was fine the first few days until they said I should get a taste for the night shift which wasn’t six am to six pm, now it’s 9pm until 9am, meaning I needed to get all my rest in the morning. It ended up being harder said than done as I’m an early bird gets the worm type of person. At least, Hanbin is helpful - enough.

“When are you done with work?” We’re closing in on the hospital which would be even more hectic since it’s the weekend.

“Mhm, if we don’t get another call then I should be done in an hour.” Nodding, I thanked him for the ride that he snuck me as I didn’t have any cash on me to take a taxi or the bus. “You should get tighter scrubs. Aren’t they a little loose?”

Opening the car door, I looked myself over taking in the scrubs that fit me perfectly. Shaking my head, his hand came crashing down on my thigh giving it a squeeze. And, I’m the pervert. Slapping his hand away, I got out slamming the door not wanting to be harassed by him anymore. Flipping him the bird, he laughed hard against the steering wheel as I walked backwards towards the sliding doors that I’d be behind for the next 12 hours.

“Watch where you’re going.” Spinning on my heels, I was a good foot away from the doctor that hated me for no real reason. “We don’t need any screw-ups this shift, okay?”

“Yeah.” Raising his eyebrow, I faked a smile wondering why he choose to pick on me. “Yes, Doctor.”

Rolling his eyes, he pushed past me heading towards the ER instead of the locker rooms. He gets on my last nerves more than Hanbin. A sigh left my lips as I walked towards the locker rooms to put my stuff in my locker. On my way, I ran into one of the doctors that’s doing residency in the ER – his name is Wonshik.

“Yunhyeong, did Alex speak to you, again?” My anger quickly dissipated at his question and curious look.

“How did you know?” Turning around, he fell in step with me on my journey to where I needed to be.

“He has the same annoyed look whenever I see him after he talks to you.” That’s nice to know – not. “But, he’s like that with a majority of the staff, so don’t feel singled out, okay?”

“How can I not when he literally walks up to me just talk down on me? I know he’s older, but I swear if he wasn’t I would ring -.” Throwing open my locker, I hung my jacket on the hook along with my lunch that I’m probably not going to finish before turning to see the frozen look on Wonshik’s face.

“You’d what? Ring my neck?” Oh, there’s the voice of the Devil and he heard everything.

“No,” Pffting him, he raised his eyebrow but all I could wonder was how he got over here when he went directly into the ER. “I would never. I was talking about my boyfriend, Hanbin, he’s a little older and a nuisance.”

Giving him awkward laughter, I couldn’t believe that I had just lied on Hanbin like that as he clearly isn’t older than me. By the look on his face, he didn’t believe a single word I said but it’s time for my shift and I never cared. Pulling Wonshik with me, we ran out of the locker room and right into the ER glad that he hadn’t followed.

“He’ll surely chew us out once he comes back.” Shrugging, I pushed him towards incoming patients while I went behind the desk to check in the charts. 

The rest of the evening went fine as I ran between patients helping them with what I could as the Doctors kept asking me for things. Like there isn’t a handful of other nurses willing and ready to help at the drop of a dime. Getting a chance to sit down, I checked the time to see that it had just passed midnight which meant that I only had less than 9 more hours to go. I can do this!

“Yunhyeong, can you take this to Dr. Lee? He’s in the office.” Why me? And why did it have to be the Devil?

“Yes, I can.” Taking the charts from her, I walked slowly towards the room that “housed” all the Doctors and Interns working spaces.

I literally stopped and said hello to everyone I passed wishing that time went slower but before I knew it, I’m standing in front of the door. Twisting the knob, I pushed it open greeting the other doctors and interns before dropping the charts in front of him on his desk. Bowing, he glared at me but I ignored it like everything else before rushing out of there. I strongly dislike him.

Going back, the sound of the ambulance filled the air and watching as people rushed towards it I could only sigh thinking about the guy who came in a few hours early. Sadly, for him, he hasn’t walked out of here yet and he never will. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I turned my back on the stretcher tired of reality sinking in like this. Ever since I started working in the ER, I’ve run into death and near-death situations more than I ever wanted to, and I know it’s a part of the job and I’ll become used to it, but it still saddens me.

A familiar voice filled my ears causing me to turn around come face-to-face with my handsome police officer. His hand was being ran through his hair as a look of distress covered his face causing him to curse under his breath. Turning to look around, he met my worried eyes and sad smile. I’ve never seen him like this before, so it’s worrying when he holds this type of look.

“Everything okay?” My voice felt small compared to how hectic the area is.

“I don’t know. That’s our witness for this case and if he dies then the case gets thrown out the window.” Stepping closer to the desk, he leaned on it dropping his head into his hands. “We were on our way to pick him up when we saw him on the side of the road, bleeding to death. I can’t understand how people can just be so – ugh.”

“I would say you’ll get used to it but it’s been a year for you, so I hope you accommodate.” Ruffling his already ruined hair, I tugged on a few strands liking that it brought him some type of laughter, even though pained.

“Yunhyeong?! Why are you just standing there chatting? You’re help has been requested.” Backing away, I ran towards where the other nurse stood, soon following behind her to where the injured is. “Apply pressure, okay?”

Nodding, I took the gloves and stack of gauzes she gave me, and putting on the gloves I moved around one of the interns pressing my hands onto a deep stab wound – one of many. They really wanted him dead. His body moved violently whenever he tried to breath only to cough up wads of blood that got all over me and the other nurse. Grimacing at the small amount that had touched my lips, I grabbed a gauze wiping at the blood that ran down from another shallow cut, my other hand still applying pressure.

“Why aren’t you guys doing anything?!” Raising my voice, they seemed to snap out of whatever trance they were in causing the few that stood around to take over what I was doing. “Has it hit anything major? Like an organ or artery?”

“Luckily, no arteries but one stab did come in contact with his left lung.” By the look on her face, it wasn’t extremely serious but it’s still serious.

“I’ll go get a tube.” Running out, I snatched off the gloves tossing them into a waste bin as I headed into the side room where the bigger medical supplies are.

Scanning the many tubes, I just grabbed one of each before running out of the room and straight into someone. Dropping everything, I quickly scrambled to pick it up not even caring about the fact that I had just cut my arm up. I couldn’t even feel the pain nor the blood running down my elbow. Apologizing to the person I ran into, they tried to say something but I ran off before they could – it was probably about my arm. Heading back into the room, I dropped the tubes on the tray looking back to see what size the hole is.

“Yunhyeong, your arm…” Finally glancing down, I took in the shallow cut causing me to sigh.

“Here’s the tube, I’ll get cleaned up.” Un-packaging it, I handed it to one of the interns ready to leave only to be stopped by the Devil himself.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I didn’t even know that he was the doctor in charge of this patient. “Where are you going?”

“I got cut up trying to get the tubes, I need to clean up before our blood comes in contact with each other.” He knows this, so why is he trying to call me out?

“You never do anything right, get out!” Flinching at how loud his voice had become, I bit my lip running out, hating how he always yelled at me for everything.

“Suzy, can you wrap up my arm?” She nodded leaving to get the stuff while I sat on an empty bed in wait.

I can’t understand it. I work my ass off every single shift but he just isn’t satisfied with anything I do, and it hurts more than it should. When Suzy came back, she disinfected, cleaned and wrapped up my upper arm before running off to handle another patient. It must be nice not having to worry about if you’ll get yelled at or not. Resting for a few minutes, I tried to think about better things knowing that tears wouldn’t help my situation at all. I wonder if Hanbin is still here?

Heading back to the nurses’ station, I was stopped by an angry looking Dr. Lee who took his time ripping off his face mask and gloves. Telling me to follow behind him, he took me to an empty hallway with waiting chairs only to pace around for a while trying to calm himself down. It obviously didn’t work.

“What the hell are you thinking? No, I doubt you even think at all. You could have contaminated the whole area which could have resulted in him dying!” After, his initial point he said a few more things that definitely got under my skin - I won't repeat them, though. “Do you understand what I’m saying?!”

“Yes, Doctor.” Squeezing my fist tighter, I tried to focus on the wall behind him but he just kept moving.

“If you can’t do your job, then just fucking quit! You’re a waste of space as it is!” Storming off, he maneuvered around people leaving me to stare after him.

Well, at least, I know how he feels about me now. Shuffling towards a seat, I flopped down in it trying to get his words out of my ears but it only brought forth the other memories of him yelling at me during my day shift. I’ve even had a few patients comfort me by saying that he’s being too harsh and that I’m doing just fine. I thanked them even though I went home at the end of every shift with a crush spirit and lowered self-esteem.

Harshly rubbing my face, I squeezed my cheeks only to stop as sobs raked my body. I can’t take this anymore. Tears fell through the cracks my fingers left causing them to softly hit the ground in between my feet. Taking a deep breath, I blew it out slowly wishing to calm myself but it only seemed to make it worse. Why is picking on me so much?! I can’t understand and it’s so frustrating.

“Yun, did you – who did it?” Wiping at my face, I tried to hide the tears and snot even though he had already seen it.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? I’m just being sensitive that’s all.” I tried to give him my usual smile but my mouth just didn’t want to.

“Sensitive? You don’t cry when you’re being “sensitive”, you only get annoyed easily. So, who made you cry?” Squatting in front of me, I dropped my head trying to hide my face that he was determined to look at.

Sucking up my snot, I scooted closer to him wrapping my arms around his neck only wanting to be comforted right now. The who doesn’t really matter at this moment in time, as he’ll be back to do the same thing tomorrow, and again, I might cry. Holding on tight, I breathed in his scent a little notice how he smelled more like sweat than he did when he picked me up. His arms wrapped around my waist closing the gap a little more.

“When’s your break?” Closing my eyes, I thought about my schedule that is somewhere in my sad thoughts.

“In an hour and a half, why?” The fact that he changed the subject cheered me up more than it should have.

“Well, seeing as how our witness is still getting fixed up, I can use the excuse of staying to check on him to eat with you.” He’s such a rule breaker and it’s annoying – well, only when it doesn’t involve me.

“Try it and tell me how it goes, okay?” Laughter laced my words as I’m very sure that wouldn’t be possible.

Pulling back, he pressed a quick kiss to my lips before standing as we both need to be getting back to our jobs. His phone went off, so bidding him farewell with a small wave, he jogged off to where his partner probably stood. Taking my last deep breath, I stood heading back to the nurses’ station ready to face whatever else harsh words he had for me this lovely morning. When I made it back, there was a police officer standing in front of the curtain the witness was behind while Hanbin stood off to the side talking with Jongsuk, who I haven’t even noticed.

“I heard some of the yelling. Are you okay?” Nodding, I went behind the desk to stand next to Lizzy, who was currently concerned for my mental health – too late. “To be honest, I think he’s hard on you for no reason. He must like you.”

Hard laughter racked my whole body at her last words as she needs her head checked if she believes that.

“Sorry, but my man is right there.” Pointing at the idiot, who was standing a few feet away from us, she gave me a surprised look. “Plus, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who only yells at me and talks down on everything I do.”

“Point taken. At least, your break is coming up.” Agreeing as that’s the only thing I can look forward to right now, I started to help her with charts and release forms. “I wonder why he’s so mean, when he’s kind of hot.”

“Who?” Taking a seat, I began typing the information into the database – I really don’t care, but I’m being polite.

“Dr. Lee.” Side-eyeing her, I said nothing not wanting him to appear like he always does whenever I mention him. “Have you seen his body? I accidently walked on him changing and almost left on a gurney.”

“Seems like he has a fangirl.” And, of course, he had to appear even though I didn’t say his name out loud – I must be cursed, that’s the only logical explanation.

“Do you think you have the right to be gossiping on the job after what you did?!” The area had quieted down a little, but only enough to see where this is going. “I think it’ll be best for you to keep my name out of your mouth and focus more on the job that you’re currently not doing.”

“Dr. Lee, I don’t know what your problem with me is but stop, please. I wasn’t talking about, so don’t group me with others just because I did it once.” Slamming down the chart, I waited for his response or at least my apology, but it never came.

“My problem is that you’re a horrible RN who clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing and is only causing trouble and headaches for others.” My attention wasn’t even on him anymore, instead it was on Hanbin who’s currently advancing on the situation.

“What the hell did you just say to him?” Grabbing Dr. Lee’s coat, he pushed him away from the desk and ultimately me. “I suggest you apologize before I get angry.”

“Are you threatening me? A doctor?” Coming from behind the station once more, I grabbed Hanbin moving him back a few steps.

I really don’t want to get suspended or worse, fired. It’s only been a few weeks since I started working here and I’m already going through a lot.

“I don’t give a fuck who you are, you can be my left big toe and I’d still threaten you. Apologize to Yun, now!” Trying to tell the idiot that it isn’t need anymore, he only glanced at me before continuing on his path.

“Yun? Don’t tell me – So, you have to get your boyfriend to fight your battles? Typical.” Still scooting the other back, I shook my head as that wasn’t it at all – I can handle things myself. “You’re clearly at fault, but you had to go whine and play the victim at home.”

“You’re only giving me more fuel to beat your ass, so I suggest you stop.” Grabbing his fist, I stared him in the eyes hoping that he’s realize that this is enough. “Is he the one who made you cry? Is this the JERK, who made you cry, Yun?!”

My mouth moved but no words came out as I couldn’t lie to him, especially after being so vulnerable with him plenty of time before. I also couldn’t say yes for the sole fact that all eyes are on us and I don’t want to make Dr. Lee out to be a bad person. Even though he is, but his skills are great and that’s all that really matters in this environment. Dragging him out of the hospital, I went as far out of ear range as possible; I don’t want to add more fuel to the fire.

“IS HE?!” Letting him go, he took a hold of my shoulders wanting me to look at him.

“SO WHAT IF HE IS?!” Yelling back, all sense of rationality had left me at the fact that I’m going to be in trouble once the end of my shift comes around. “Do you know what you just did?! I asked you to stop countless times and you wouldn’t. So what is he did, it isn’t going to change a damn thing because he’s a doctor and a mere nurse! I could get fired for this! Do you not care?!”

“Wow, I’m trying to defend you and here you are getting angry at me. You know what? Fuck it. Go back in there and keep getting yelled and accused of things you never did, like I give a damn.” Walking away, I closed my eyes, dropping into a closed-knee squat trying to figure this all out.

Of course, I’m wrong for yelling at him but he just kept pushing, and now Dr. Lee has something else to add to his list of insults. This is just great. The only person I can physically lean on is mad at me leaving me with nothing.

“Don’t worry, Yun. You’re going to go back in there and show him that nothing he says or does will ever faze you again. You’re a Song for crying out loud. You got this, fighting.” Whispering encouragement to myself, I pushed up stumbling a little at how fast I did it before heading back inside.

The mess that was created wasn’t that bad as Dr. Lee had stormed off as well leaving the area quiet and confused. Going back to my post, I finished entering the charts not caring about the whispers around me. They honestly meant nothing. When my break had come around, I ended up eating alone even though I constantly texted the other apologizing and wanting to know if he was okay. No response ever did come which had me sighing deeply throughout the whole break. I really messed up this time.

There was little to no active after 2 am, leaving everyone to just causal lounge around in wait for someone to either call or come through the doors. It was like that until daybreak, then people started to come in waves once more. Finishing my shift, I texted Hanbin again hoping that he’d respond, and I was more than elated when he did. Throwing on my jacket, I took my lunchbox in one hand while my phone was in the other before making my way out of this dreadful place.

“I heard that your night was eventful.” A refreshed Wonshik came up to me with a smile on his face. “I told you he was going to chew you up and spit you out.”

“Don’t remind me. I literally got into a fight with my boyfriend because of him and he has the nerve to avoid me instead of apologizing.” My will to care had also left me when my rationality did but only one came back.

“Sorry to hear about that, but good thing is that you survived your first night in the ER otherwise.” Thanking him for the brighter side of this whole thing, he moved to head around me.

“Didn’t you work last night? Is your shift not over?” Nodding, I gave him a sad look even though I was happy on the inside that I wasn’t him – I wouldn’t be able to stay longer than this. “Well, fighting.”

Laughing at me, I headed outside to see that someone looked as if he had a rough night as well. Getting in, I bucked up before turning in my seat to stare at him. My guess, he slept at the precinct instead of going home like a normal person, even Jongsuk left and went home.

“I said I’m sorry, are you going to keep sulking?” Turning out of the hospital parking lot and onto the main road, he shrugged leaning on his had that was on the windowsill. “Binnie~, please forgive me. I lost my mind earlier this morning and once you left it had come back to me.”

“Did you get in trouble?” It’s hard to call it trouble as the head nurse only told me to try and get along with him. “I’ll take that as a kind of. I’m sorry for causing a scene like that. I just hate when people pick on others and to see you being picked on was like two times worse.”

“Don’t worry, I realized after how cool you looked sticking up for me.” Switching hands to drive with, he held it up right making me slip mine over it with a joy filled smile. “Next time, just don’t threaten anyone and stop when I say so, okay?”

“No promises but I’ll try.” That’s more than enough for me.


	24. If You Do...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why why why are you always mad mad mad at me? Can we go back to the way we were?" - GOT7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler - It gets a little sad from here on out. 
> 
> See you, tomorrow!

“Be careful on your way home, Yunhyeong.” Smiling at the nurse, who had taken my spot, I shuffled languidly out of the hospital.

I had just finished my fourth 12 hour shift this week and if it wasn’t for energy drinks then I’m sure I would have passed out. It was normal for doctors to sleep whenever they had the chance but as a nurse – and one of the well liked ones – I was always being called on for something. Taking a deep breath, I hailed a taxi as the one I’ve been feuding with as of lately was sure to just be getting up. Our schedules were so different that we only saw each other when we were coming and going – it was definitely putting a strain on the relationship.

We argued whenever we saw each other and it was usually him who started them leaving me to turn red as I defended myself. As an officer, he came into the hospital a lot and each time he found a problem with me and one of my many co-workers. I told him that I’d never cheat but he’s starting to lose trust in me. It was understandable as we never really see each other, so I take it lightly, the only problem I have is that he’s gotten into the habit of smoking and drinking. Drinking wasn’t all that bad – he wasn’t a drunk – but smoking made my skin crawl and my throat tightened. I tell him countless times not to smoke as it’s bad for his heath and it’s clear that he doesn’t listen. Honestly I couldn’t even remember the last time he had actually listened to me – not to mention the last time we’ve actually held a conversation without screaming being involved.

‘Where is our relationship heading?’ A thought that plagued my mind daily. ‘Is this the end to us?’ Another thought that usually hits me at the end of our arguments.

Thanking the driver, I got out the taxi going inside and to our floor. Unlocking the door, I was met with the usual sight of him sitting on the couch with an unlit cigarette dangled between his lips. The TV was on playing the news as he was more than likely waiting on his case to pop up. Sighing, I slipped off my shoes before shaking off my hoodie and backpack to show my dirty scrubs underneath. They were sprayed with blood and other fluids that I couldn’t name at the moment. Someone from his precinct had brought in a victim of an attempted murder and it just so happened to be that I was called over to help. Don’t think about it Yun, it’ll make you sick again.

“I’ll make you something to eat then go to bed.” Looking at my watch, it was almost 7 in the morning meaning that he had more than enough time to eat before leaving.

Stepping into the kitchen, I rolled up my sleeves before washing my hands, again, and digging in the fridge I started to pull ingredients out. My back was turned when he had stepped into the kitchen. His socked covered feet slapped hard against the floor making it clear that he had something to say. It was just up to me whether I was going to listen or not.

“How was work?” Humming, I didn’t really want to talk about it as it was hectic as always.

“Good.” It came out dryer than I expected it to and he quickly took notice. “Do you want chicken or beef?”

“Neither.” Turning to face him, the cigarette was gone and his hands were crossed over his chest as he leaned against the counter.

“Then fried rice it is.” Putting back what I didn’t need, I grabbed a knife and cutting board only to put it down a second later. “What?”

“I asked if you enjoyed smiling all in that doctor’s face.” Shaking my head, I laughed not being able to stand how delusional he was being.

“I’m tired, Hanbin, so save it. Okay?” Roughly chopping the vegetables, I threw them onto a pan with a little bit of oil.

“Tired? I’m tired too, Yun. I’ve been up day and night for the past week working on this case, so come up with a better excuse.” Turning off the burner, I threw the perfectly good vegetables in the trash before tossing everything else back in the fridge. “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing? What the hell are you doing? Why are you always picking a fight with me? Huh? I’ve been telling you for the past 4 years that I only want to be with you and here you are discrediting my love and effort!” Standing in front of him, we started at each other both searching for something that the other clearly didn’t hold. “I don’t know what inferiority complex it is this time but, please, get over yourself.”

“Inferiority complex? It’s a complex just to ask about something I’m curious about? You need to get over yourself, because last time I checked there hasn’t been much that’s appealing about you lately.” Wow, so he doesn’t even find me appealing anymore.

“Then maybe you should go to Rose.” The smug look fell off his face making one come onto mine. “You thought I wouldn’t find out that she started working as a sketch artist for the precinct? I ran into her more than a few times and it seems that you enjoy entertaining her.”

“Why do you always bring her up? It’s like we can’t speak without her name coming up. I’ve been apologizing for the last 2 years and the crazy part about it is that it was only a kiss. One measly drunken kiss that you can’t get over! Stop hanging it over my head!” Stepping back, my heart started pounding hard in my ears as I couldn’t believe his words. “And yeah, she works for the precinct, so what?”

“So what? The What is that you have the audacity to accuse me of trying to cheat on you when your screw up is working right next to you! How would you feel if I was the one who had kissed someone else and you had caught me?! Huh? You wouldn’t like it, so why should I?!” I didn’t mean to let my feelings get the best of me but it was clear that he was never going to understand.

The distance between us had elongated with that statement and it was clear that there was no going back on anything we said now. His next words were sure to be hurtful and I was going to say something even more hurtful. In the end, we’ll both leave this kitchen with wounded egos and even smaller prides.

“No one ever asked you to like it.” Snorting, I couldn’t believe that that was his comeback.

“Fine, let’s say that that is true, but I’ve been working nights without an ounce of sleep. I come home cook and clean for you even though I feel as though I’m on my deathbed. I do everything for you, so why can’t you at least understand that?” Rolling his eyes, it was clear that my prediction was right.

“You try to make yourself seem pitiful as if being with me actual hurts you. If it hurts that much then get the fuck out!” Unfolding his arms, he had more coming as this was nothing. “You walk around here with a fucked up face and half-ass everything that you do! Recently the only thing your good for is sex and that’s how it’s been for a while now!”

Tears entered my eyes at his words because he only thought about me as sex. He only wanted to have sex with me. Balling up my fist, my whole body shook in anger at his shamelessness.

“At least one of us is good at it!” Trying to storm off, he had caught my arm with a tight grip. “Let me go!”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Now it was my turn to hurt him, even though what I’m about to say is false.

“You wanted me to cheat on you so bad, so I’ve been sleeping with a fellow nurse and let’s just say that they’re everything that you’ll never be.” Pulling harder, I wasn’t expecting him to let me go but he did and I soon regretted saying what I did.

The moment he let go, I feel into the table causing it to painfully squeeze itself in between my ribs. Falling to the ground, I held my side groaning as the pain was worse than it should have been. Hopefully I didn’t crack or break anything.

“A-Are you okay?” He snapped out of whatever bubble he entered whenever we argued and dropping next to me he showed concern for the first time in weeks.

“N-No.” Squeezing the words out from tight lips, he did the unthinkable by picking me up and carrying me to the bedroom.

Laying me down, the softness of the sheets and mattress welcomed me with open arms and if it wasn’t for him trying to find the problem I would have fell asleep. Pushing up my shirt, he stared at the indentation from the table that was bright red and slowly getting darker. Cursing, he moved to leave but I grabbed his hand missing the feeling of it in my own.

“What?” There wasn’t the usual spite or anger in his words – it was as if he was back to the Hanbin I had fell in love with.

“I-I lied. I didn’t c-cheat on you.” The tears that had entered my eyes early streamed down my face. “I would never c-cheat on you.”

Nodding, he let my hand go before walking off leaving me to stare at the door because he obviously didn’t believe me. Why would he when I said something that I shouldn’t have?

Closing my eyes, I quickly feel asleep missing his sad figure that lingered in the doorway with the first aid kit in his hands. I also missed his ‘I know you’d never’ and his ‘I’m sorry’ that he whispered against my side before kissing it. Our timing was oddly off and so, is this relationship that had reached its roughest patch. Why can’t we go back to how we used to be? Why can’t we be in love like how we used to be?

Hours had passed before I had awoken to a dark room and a blanket pulled over me. Sitting up, something fell into my lap causing me to reach over and turn on the side lamp to see an ice pack. It was fairly new as the ice was still in tack besides the few that had melted making even colder water. My clothes had been changed and by the hair that had fallen in my eyes, it was fair to say that he had wet my hair enough to unset it. Why was he only good to me when I was asleep?

Rolling my neck around it cracked causing me to do the same with my other joints. I needed a bath and food. Standing out of bed, I swayed from lightheadedness and by the time I made it to the door I was fine. The sound of the TV had me walking in the opposite direction of the bathroom because he should have at least turned it off before leaving. Stopping by the couch, I was more than surprised to see that he was laying on his side watching whatever was on. Shouldn’t he be at work?

“W-What are you doing here?” His head snapped up before turning to look at me with furrowed brows.

“I took the day off to take care of you.” Hiding my smile, I knew that it wasn’t much because he was more than likely taking responsibility.

“Well, I’m going to take a shower.” He didn’t answer instead going back to whatever he was watching – I knew it was nothing special.

Showering and changing into different clothes, I had suddenly remembered that Bobby and Donghyuk invited us over to eat dinner with them. It seemed like everyone was going, even Chanwoo and Jaewon – it’ll be the first time we’ve seen each other collectively as a group in a long time. We’re all busy with work and school, so these type of meetings didn’t even seem possible anymore. I wish we can go back to when we were all in college and happy. Why can’t we just be happy, again?

My side didn’t hurt as much as it first did making it easier for me to move around. Drying my hair, I stepped back out into the living room to see that he had on his jacket ready to go. I didn’t speak to him, having nothing to say, so going towards the front door I slipped on my shoes ready to get drunk off my ass and fall asleep in the spare bedroom. Ugh, I haven’t had a proper drink in weeks – I sound like an alcoholic.

The ride there was quiet, not even the radio could change that fact, it still was too quiet. Parking across from the building, I jumped out rushing inside as I couldn’t stand the suffocating feeling of being around him after we fought. Entering the building that looked better on the inside, I went straight towards their apartment door. Their apartment was on the first floor and one of the larger ones, so it made partying easier as neighbors didn’t really care to complain. They usually partied hard too. Pressing the door bell, the familiar tune could be heard through it and the sound of hurried footsteps made it known that someone was on their way to open the door. It flew open a few seconds later revealing the smiling face of Donghyuk who was more than happy to see us. 

“You guys made it just in time.” I couldn’t return the smile he was giving to me which had his own falling. “Uh, come in. Everyone is already seated.”

Nodding, I walked around him slipping my shoes off before shuffling into the dining room only to be greeted with loud chatter. Taking my seat next to Junhoe, he sat across from me next to Bobby who looked more excited than he normally is. Ignoring the voices that tried to talk to me, I only focused on eating not understanding how they could be so happy. Everyone is happy besides us. Maybe, we should just break up? No, we need to work out our problems and get back to our old selves, but that was easier said than done.

“Are you okay?” Wiping my mouth, I glanced over at June who was staring at me in concern. “You’re quieter than usual.”

“I had a long day.” He nodded before turning to go back to his conversation with his lover – they disgust me.

Drinks were passed once dinner was done, so filling up my cup until it was close to spilling over, I chugged it down. Gulping down the last bit, I had to find my breath as everything burned making it even harder on my already battered body. When did life get so hard?

“So the reason we invited you guys over is because we have an announcement to make.” The two who owned the home stood meeting each other at the end of the table causing me to wonder what movie this is.

“We’re getting married.” There was an uproar that I didn’t join in on as my whole world felt as if it was caving in.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely happy for them, but it just makes me think about what I’ve been doing with my life all this time. I’ve been stuck with the same jerk since my 3rd year in high school and we’ve finally hit our fourth year only to be stuck in a continuous loop of hateful words and hard work. He always said that he had a plan and if this is a part of it then I don’t want to be. The water works started up, again, making me fill my glass fully for the second time and swallowing a little less than half I couldn’t help but laugh. I laughed long and hard until the noise around us seized leaving me all alone in my self-pity. Throwing the rest back, I stood taking the bottle with me as I walked into the living room flopping down on their couch.

“What the hell is your problem?” Ah, if it isn’t Mr. I’m-always-right. “Dong and Bobby just shared good news with us and you’re acting out.”

“Acting out? Ha, I’m more than happy for them.” Bringing the bottle to my lips, I took a long sip locking eyes with him in hopes that he would understand what I was feeling. “Why is everything I do so wrong to you?”

He tried to walk away but I stood stopping him from moving any farther. I might be one more sip away from being drunk and that’s fine with me, but I want to know what his problem with me is. Why does he hate me so much all of a sudden? Why is always picking a fight with me?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He tried to take the bottle from my hand causing me to throw it across the room finding peace in the way it shattered against the floor. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!”

“I asked you a question, Hanbin. ANSWER ME!” Pushing him, he grabbed my wrist stopping me from doing it again. “Why do you hate me so much?! What have I ever done to hurt you? How did we become like this?!”

“I-I don’t hate you, so stop spouting nonsense. You’re clearly drunk.” Ripping my wrist from his grasp, I bite my lip harder than I wanted to as I must be losing my mind.

“Nonsense?” Sighing, I gave up causing my hands to dangle by my side not really knowing what to do. “Fine, Hanbin, you’re always right and I’m always wrong. Every single last thing I say is wrong since it’s just nonsense to you.”

“What are you trying to say?” It was on the tip of my tongue and I swallowed it because I didn’t want to take that route.

“Leave me alone is what I’m trying to say.” Trying to push past him, he grabbed my shoulder pushing me back and if it wasn’t for my quick reflexes I’m sure I would have fell into the coffee table.

“Hanbin, stop. Come on, just leave him alone.” Bobby finally stepped in grabbing at his friend who made it clear, without words, that we were going to finish this argument.

“No, he doesn’t have to because he’s god himself, right? Right! Everything he says is fucking law and if he doesn’t want to do it then he doesn’t! We’re always doing whatever he wants to do and it doesn’t matter if I’m tired or not! He doesn’t give a fuck about me anymore, and he can’t take it that I understand that he feels that way!” I chocked on words I wasn’t supposed to and my voice was slowly going away from all the screaming I was doing. “He’s nothing more than a selfish bastard!”

“At least I’m not the hospital’s whore!” We were now back too square one but it was extremely advanced.

I would never lay my hands on him in a way that was meant to hurt hum, but it seems that he doesn’t know that his words are really hurtful. Slapping him, the sound bounced off the walls forcing all those who were watching to fall silent in wait for what was next. Breaking Bobby’s hold on him, he stormed out leaving me to fall to me knees. It was clear that there was no turning back from where we are right now. The sound of his car peeling off could be heard throughout the whole neighborhood and it broke my heart even more than it should have.

“Oh my god, what did I do? What did I do?” The next few minutes were a blur as I could only remember the hurt look that was on his face.

When I had finally come to realization that we weren’t at home, I looked around to see that I wasn’t in the living room anymore instead I was in the bedroom curled into myself. Jinhwan and Donghyuk were seated around me both looking as if they had gone through a tornado. My face was wet and sticky causing me harshly wipe at my face not liking that I had shown them my crying face – I’ve never cried in front of anyone besides my parents and the one who has made me like this.

“What’s going on with you two?” Shrugging, I took my legs from my chest stretching out a little because even I don’t know.

“D-Don’t worry about it, Jin.” Looking at Donghyuk, I knew he wasn’t expecting a fight to break out right after announcing his engagement. “I’m sorry, Dong. Congratulations on getting engaged.”

“Let’s not worry about that right now. Are you and Hanbin having problems?” I was now forced into a corner and had no real chance of escaping.

“Where’s everyone else?” Quickly trying to change the conversation, they both looked at each before shaking their heads.

“Junhoe and Bobby went after Hanbin, and the younger two left as they have weekend classes. Now, answer our questions.”  I really had no way out of this.

“Uh, I don’t know what’s going on. We’ve been fighting over stupid shit for the last few months and it only seems to be getting worse. I don’t even know if he loves me anymore.” Ugh, why do I keep crying? Am I a baby or something?

“How did it all start?” Sighing, I shrugged again because there are a lot of things that I don’t have the answer to. “Are you two going to break up?”

“Maybe…maybe not. I just – I just don’t know anymore. We’ve been together for 4 years and it finally seems as though he is tired of me; and I’ve been trying my hardest to figure him out, but it’s clear that we’re not on the same page anymore.” Slowly, my knees started coming to my chest until I was curled into myself again. “He wants something from me and I’m giving it to him, only for him to overlook it and complain about it not being there. I just can’t stand how damn insecure he’s become – and it isn’t like he hasn’t been insecure in the past, but it’s worse now. It’s so bad that I can’t even talk on the phone with a colleague without us fighting over if I’m cheating or not.”

Closing my eyes, my world seemed to be spinning at the fact that I was so useless. How can I not know what the problem is? How could I have been so busy not to see that we’ve been hurting each other for a while now?

“I admit that I said some hurtful things whenever we argued, so I’m not innocent in this at all, but the fact that we’ve gotten to the point of calling each other certain words is weighing on me. I want to be happy, guys. I want to go back to how it used to be when he’d drop me off at work and bring me lunch so that we could eat together; I want to go back to when we had gone on dates and actually said that we loved each other; I want to go back to when we trusted each other.” The room was quiet as they listened to the sobs that left my mouth.

Is being happy asking for too much?


	25. LOVE SCENARIO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Nah, I'm not completely okay with coming face to face with out farewell. Our 'yesterday' that was once our 'today', no longer has a 'tomorrow', and though it hurts, if we dragged it on any longer my scars would only hurt more Ye." -IKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it, sorry.

My hands felt as if they’d been frozen in ice and my whole body burned with this deep pain that I never thought I’d feel. Of course, it was my fault for letting the playful words of others get stuck in my head – it was my fault for not actually listening to him. Why am I such an idiot?

A month has passed since the argument that we had in front of our friends that were like family, and it made everyone divided. Bobby and Junhoe called me plenty of names on the night that they had found me out in the woods kicking and cursing at trees. They told me to apologize having not believed that I had called him a whore. At the time, I felt no need to apologize as he had gone out of his way to call me a selfish bastard along with slapping me, but now that time has passed I clearly saw the error in my ways. I tried to apologize only to get brushed off by him either closing the door in my face or hanging up on me with excuses of being busy. I understood as he was probably tired of me talking down on him from my faults that really had nothing to do with him – I understand that, but I hope he understands me too.

It was clear that we were closing in on our end, so I took it upon myself to make it easier on the both of us. I’m going to make him happy for the last time before it’s all over.

We both had the same weekday off, which was something that never happened, and after sliding out of the bed that I couldn’t believe we still shared. I took a quick shower, changing into my outfit for the day, before heading into the kitchen. The first part of this day is making him breakfast. Grabbing bread, eggs, and bacon that I’m sure to burn, I rolled up my sleeves quickly getting into my work. Putting the bread in the toaster, I placed a pan on the stove for the eggs and the other for the bacon – that I could cook in the oven, but I need to put in more work. Cracking the first egg, it splattered against the pan hard causing the yoke to end up on the side instead of the middle, and since it didn’t look pretty I ended up scrambling it along with the rest of the eggs.

Once the eggs were done, I checked on the bacon, flipping it, only to jump back in surprise at the grease that popped at me. ‘A cook should never be afraid of oil…’, his words and laughing face had me stepping closer to the pan. The toast popped up forcing me away from the one thing that I was scared of at this moment. Taking the gold brown pieces of bread, I put them on their respective plates spreading the two kinds of jam he liked on his while I left mine plain. Scrapping the eggs next to the toast, I tossed the empty pan into the sink immediately going back to the bacon – I don’t want it to burn. Flipping it again, the pieces started to shrivel up more making the meat darker, until it was the perfect color. Placing the nicely cooked pieces onto a paper towel, I dabbed the grease out of them before plating them with the rest of the food.

Putting the plates on the table, I headed back into the bedroom so that he could eat and start getting ready for the long day ahead of us. His body was curled into a tight ball underneath the covers making his toes peek out of the end that he had balled up underneath them. Sitting next to him, I lightly tapped his feet before rubbing up his leg only stopping to squeeze his thigh. He uncurled himself trying to get away from my touch only to bring himself closer to me unintentionally. The mess of black hair looked like a bird’s nest as it rested beside my knee and his long legs seemed to wrap around my back as they were pressed firmly against it.

“Yun, get up.” Shaking his head, it only made his hair worse causing a small laugh to come through my nose. “Come on, sweet cheeks. Get up!”

“Leave me alone, Binnie.” The voice he spoke in was practically a whine that had my hands shaking for some reason.

Taking his arms in my shaking hands, I pulled on him until he was laying against my chest like a child. I sniffed harder than I should have as I wanted to take in his scent of yesterday before it’s washed away. He giggled at the feeling causing me to wrap my arms around him tightly not wanting him to move away. This’ll be the last time I can hold him like this – on our off days, early in the morning, the both of us wiping sleep out of our eyes. Taking one last whiff, I allowed him to pull away.

“I made breakfast.” Standing, he slowly followed with a weird look on his face at the fact that I never made breakfast for him, or even myself.

Making it to the table, I pulled out the chair for him before pushing it in only to run around and take my own across from him. Thanking me, we ate in silence, not really knowing what to say to each other – but it wasn’t awkward, the silence. Using my fork, I pushed my food around watching as he chewed happily on his food, complementing me the whole time. Ah, I really wished he didn’t. Once he finished, I took our plates to the sink telling him to shower and get dressed as we’re going on a “date”. I didn’t actually say a date as I felt that was too much, so instead I opted to say that we’re going out.

His face lit up as he nodded before running off leaving me alone in the kitchen. Scrubbing hard at the dishes, I tuned out the sound of his shower only focusing on the silence that would soon fill this home. Who should leave? Should we just live as roommates with no hard feelings? They were thoughts that had plagued me since I came to this conclusion and of course, I should leave as he went out of his way to decorate and everything. But if we both want to stay, then I wouldn’t mind living as roommates – I can take the spare room leaving him the master bedroom all to himself. Until, we start bringing other people home, then what? No, don’t think about right now. Think about it once the decision is made.

Once the break up is final…

Wiping harshly at the tears that entered my eyes, I dried my wet hands on a towel hoping that I could get through this in one piece. Today’s supposed to be happy until it isn’t, meaning that I had no right to cry at this moment. Clearing my throat, I went into the bedroom to see that he had already changed and was picking out a pair of shoes. He was wearing his favorite shirt – I had brought it for him as a gift – and it made my heart clench tight in my chest.

“I love you.” Leaning against the door frame, he turned back to stare at me in that fond way that I had always become used to. “I love you, a lot.”

“I know; I love you too.” Slipping on his shoes, he checked them out in the mirror before nodding at the fact that the outfit went well together. “How do I look?”

“Perfect.” My lips twitched as I smiled already knowing that I’d never be able to say those words to him again – well, they wouldn’t hold the same meaning.

Coming to stand in front of me, he had his lips puckered up waiting for me to kiss him, instead I tapped them before telling him to come on. Putting on my own shoes, I shouldered my jacket making sure that the tickets were still in my pockets – they were. Stepping outside of the apartment, I took his hand in my own even though the walk to the car wasn’t all that far away. We walked in time with each other causing me to open his door for him being the gentleman that I haven’t for these last few months. Once he was seated, I ran around quickly jumping in the car so that I could buckle his seat-belt for him.

“You don’t have to, Bin.” Swatting his hands away, I took the piece of metal in my own clipping it in its other piece. “My hands work fine.”

“But, I wanted to; plus, it’s too late now.” Scoffing at me, he squished my face together mumbling a thank you that I didn’t need.

“Where are we going?” The ignition reeved to life causing me to pull out of the spot as this is supposed to be a surprise. “Hello? Hanbin? Kim Hanbin? Where are we going?”

“It’s a secret, Song Yunhyeong.” Falling silent at my words, I had expected him to push on but I was fine with him not doing that as well.

The ride to his surprise was filled with him taking photos and asking me if they looked good – most of them did. Taking our exit, I knew that the place we were going wasn’t going to be as packed as it usually is seeing as how almost everyone is at school and work. The only people who should be here are those that are on vacation or with nothing better to do.

“Are we going to Everland?!” Nodding, he started to bounce in his seat telling me about how he hasn’t gone since middle school.

Parking was a hassle, even though no one was really here, but I went through it as he was excited and I had already paid for the tickets. I got to park somewhat close to the entrance which was the only good thing about it. Getting out, I took his head again walking us to the gate with the tickets already in hand. Making it through, the first place he dragged me towards was the gift shop saying that it was a must. I agreed not wanting to tell him that I didn’t want any souvenirs that would remind me of this day.

“This would look good, wouldn’t it?” Holding up a pair of monkey ears, he put them on my head before doing the same with his own. “It looks good, right?”

“Yeah, it does.” Staring at our reflection in the mirror, we both look extremely tired but it was hidden under the excited smiles that covered our faces. “I’ll pay.”

Going up to the counter, I paid for the headbands before we left to go get on our first ride.

“Let’s get on the Viking!” Nodding, once more, I allowed him to drag me off to the flying boat.

We waited in the short line with the few other people that were in the park as well, and when our time had come, he sat closer to the back but not at the very back. He must be scared. Laughing, I slid in next to him with my hands raised as the automated bar came down clinking into place. The operator spoke words that we could barely make out before the music started again and the ride slowly but surely picked up its momentum. As the ride got higher, that electric feeling had settled in my stomach, it was that gut wrenching feeling that made you feel as if you were going to throw up. Gripping the bar, his hand slowly snuck around my arm tightly holding on making me realize something I had never thought of.

He thought of me like how I thought of this bar at the moment. It made me feel safer just knowing that it was in my hands and the same could be said for him. He always sought me out whenever he was scared, or felt unsafe, and here I am running away. I’m such a coward.

His head laid on my shoulder with his eyes squeezed together tightly, my name coming from the lips that were always telling me that he loved me. How could he love such a coward? How could he still be the same person he’s always been?

Sucking up my snot, I used my free hand to wipe away the tears that I were playing off as sweat even though today was cooler than most. Wiping my hand on my pants, I grabbed for his holding it tightly in a comforting way that did nothing more than hurt me. The ride soon started to slow down causing his eyes to open as he stared back at me with this shy smile. Unwrapping himself from me, he kept his hand in my own as I raised it along with my own so that the bar could come up and release us from its hold. Standing, I wrapped my arms tightly around him, walking us off of the ride and towards the next one.

We rode all the fast paced ones first just to get them out of the way, and with only the slower paced ones left we decided that now would be the best time to eat. Finding a restaurant with what he wanted to eat, we got our seats sitting next to the window to stare at the sky that would start darkening in an hour or so. I was so focused on the sky that I didn’t even realize the waiter had come and gone with our order, it took his foot lightly knocking into my own for me to remember where I am.

“You haven’t smoked today, are you finally listening to my words?” He laughed at his words that he’s been telling me since I started.

“I’m thinking of quitting.” Our drinks were sat down causing me to unwrap our straws before sticking them into our cups.

“Well, you won’t outlive me just because you quit now.” I tried my hardest to hide my smile, but with the smug look on his face I couldn’t. “I’m going to live until I’m 100 years-old, so you better start shaping up.”

“Okay.” Dropping my head, I brought my cup closer taking a long sip out of it wishing that this burning in my throat would go away. “Yun?”

“Hm?” Playing with my fingers, his hands grabbed my own stopping me as I was sure to keep stalling if he didn’t. “What?”

“If we ever broke up, do you think we’d still be friends?” I expected him to pull his hands away, but he held on even tighter while flashing me this smile I didn’t deserve – I didn’t deserve him.

“That’ll be ideal, but you never know, everything could change for the worse.” That wasn’t the answer I was looking for; of course, it’ll be ideal but I want you to say ‘yes’, even if it isn’t possible.

Pulling my hands away from his, the food had been sat down in enough time for me to play it off for what it wasn’t. As we ate, he kept playing with my feet taking joy in the fact that I was trying to kick/step on them back. It’s nice that he’s still happy even after my question that should have been a sign to him. It was clear he thought of it as nothing because he probably thinks that we’ll never break up – I thought the same, but here we are. At the end of this road that seemed way too long.

Once the sun had set, and we had ridden every ride except for one, I gathered the strength I’ve been using all day for the main event. Holding his hand, the tightest I have all day, I walked him towards our final stage – the Ferris wheel. It was the place where romance had usually began, sadly for us, it’ll be where our romance is laid to rest.

Taking our cab, he sat on one side while I took the other staring at his smiling face for the last time. Staring at the face that I’d call mine for the last time. In his arms was a stuff animal I had won for him in passing as all I had to do was guest the weight of something stupid. Blowing the air out of my lungs, I turned away from him to look at the lights that lit up the city that was slowly showing itself the higher we had got. When our cab stopped at the top, I looked at him again ready to say the three words I never thought I would.

“Let’s break up.” Everything seemed to be frozen in place, even him whose smile was slowly slipping from his face. “Let’s stop while we can still be happy with each other, Yun.”

“I-Is that why you asked me that q-question?” Tears brimmed his once happy eyes making me swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.

“I love you, and to see you hurt because of my ignorance breaks my heart. I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me, okay?” Reaching for his hands, he pulled them off the small table hiding them someplace I couldn’t easily reach.

“I don’t want to be with anyone else, Hanbin, but if you feel that’s what’s best then I can’t go against that.” He agreed to the break up causing large tears to roll down his face. “L-Let’s break u-up.”

Leaning back, all I could do was nod showing that we both agreed to the one thing we never wanted to do. When the ride finally came down to the bottom, he calmly got off only to rush ahead of me, tears still staining that beautiful face that I love so much. The curtains had fallen leaving the main actors to stroll off the stage and return to being strangers. Strangers who are going to constantly run into each other because of our work and mutual friends that were sure to divide themselves even further.

Watching him stagger around in front of me was hurtful, but it wasn’t until his legs had given up on him that my heart felt like it was giving up on me. He leaned up against a car that belonged to neither of us causing me to rush towards him. The closer I got the louder his sobs and screams for relief had gotten. I tried to pick him up only for him to brush me off, standing once more as he slowly and tearfully made his way to my car. He got in as I did the same, the both of us quiet with heartache. His tears did all the talking for him along with the fact that he was biting his bottom lip to the point that it was surely going to bleed.

Glancing at him, whenever I got the chance, I noticed how everything about him had suddenly changed. He didn’t look like himself anymore, instead he looked like a weathered doll that had withstood the tales of time. I wanted to pull over and apologize for making him this way but I didn’t have it in me to do so. In the end, I kept glancing at him without saying anything to comfort his already broken heart.

Why did he agree? Why didn’t he curse me out? Why is he kind until the very end?

Pulling into the parking spot, he got out running inside leaving me to watch his disappearing figure from behind the steering wheel. I should have gotten out and chased after him, but I didn’t, instead I leaned back into my seat closing my eyes. My vision would surely be blurry and filled with tears if I opened my eyes right now, which is why I kept them closed tightly. Reaching my arm out, I turned off the car not wanting to move too much as everything hurt.

Why did it hurt so bad? The ending was pretty decent – if you take away the tears. F-For now, this is enough. This ending that I never saw coming is enough to not make the world come crashing down on me, but it would be nice to hear him say that he loves me one last time.


	26. You Were Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Without missing a day, you told me you loved me..." - DAY6

Opening my eyes, I was greeted by the sun that shined brightly through the windshield. Groaning, I unclipped my seat-belt before looking around to see that I was still in the parking lot. Did I fall asleep and stay out here all night? That’s the only possible answer.

Getting out, the memories of yesterday had flooded my mind causing me to rush inside in hopes that he’d still be there. Sadly, all that was left was a folded piece of paper that sat on the counter. My hands shook as I picked it up before softly sitting down on the couch, scared of what he had to say to me. The small letter was filled with tear and snot stains along with kind words of wishing me well. Words that I didn’t deserve. At the end, he had granted my wish of saying that he loved me, and even though it wasn’t verbal, it made my heart feel a little lighter.

“You lost your mind, Kim Hanbin. You really have.” Looking around, the house still looked the same making me wonder if he actually took anything with him – I hope not, so then we can see each other again.

My phone had gone off signaling that I needed to get to the crime scene. I’m leaving one scene to head to another. I’m such an idiot! Why did I come to this conclusion myself? Why?

Two months passed with me busying myself with work to the point that I’d forget if I ate or not. I rarely spent time at home and when I did it was only to shower and change – I slept at the precinct a lot. I was at work so much that I finally knew the janitors name. Jinhwan and Bobby called to check on me at least once a week, but most of the time their calls went unanswered. I don’t want to spend phone calls upon phone calls listening to how much of an idiot I am – I already know that. Chanwoo texted me in regards to checking on me, and the only reason I replied is because I knew he was more than likely relaying the information to Yunhyeong. I wanted him to know that I’m alright even though I don’t know if I really am or not.

“Hanbin?!” Flinching, I zoned back into what the Team Leader had pulled me to the side for. “This is what I’m talking about. I don’t know what’s been up with as of lately, but I can’t have you unfocused while on the job. Go home and don’t come back until you figure yourself out.”

“Ah-wait,” He walked away from me not even sparing me a second look. “what the fuck?”

Kicking the wall, I ran my fingers through my unkept hair not believing that I had just been taken off of the case. A case I’ve been slaving away at for the past month and a half. Sighing, as there’s nothing I could do about it, I calmly walked my way back into the squad room. Grabbing my jacket, I shouldered it while looking at my desk to see the pictures he had so careful printed and placed on it. Taking the one of us and him by himself, I snapped the legs closed before throwing them into a drawer and locking it. I don’t need Seunghoon even further in my business than he already tries to be. There was only the graduation picture I took with my parents and the group photo we took in Jeju with everyone else. Rearranging them, I hide us behind my computer monitor as our smiling faces and touching brought back the pain.

Leaving, I headed outside trying to figure out how I should occupy my time now. I can’t spend it at work and if I stay home for too long it’ll be as if I’d gotten punched in the gut. Maybe, I should visit my parents? I haven’t seen them since Yun’s birthday and its already summer. They don’t even know we broke up, and with them being the prodding type I’m sure to either leave upset or angry.

“Hanbin!” Stopping at the bottom of the steps, I turned back to see Seunghoon lightly hoping down the stairs towards me. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” He smiled wide at my answer but I obviously wasn’t smiling back. “Why?”

“Nothing, just say hi to my angel for me.” Balling up my fist, I took his hard pats on my back and left without saying anything else – I don’t feel like entertaining him.

I drove faster than I should have, but it seemed to be the only thing that cleared my mind in that moment. I wish it had lasted because the moment I turned onto the road I grew up on, I was slapped in the face with old memories. The bike riding, holding hands, and our first kiss was all done on this very road and in the end, we’ll probably not meet on it anymore.

“Stop, Hanbin. Don’t think like that.” Speaking to myself in a manner that’s supposed to be comforting, I parked in between my mom and dad’s cars.

Glancing into them, I was met with the pictures that included Yunhyeong and as they were stuck to the dashboard I could feel the will I gave myself earlier slipping from me. Shaking my head, I entered the building greeting the guard before getting on the elevator – the elevator we rode countless times while bumping shoulders with each other in the innocent way that teenagers do. Closing my eyes, in hopes of the memories disappearing, I rolled my neck listening to it crack only to be interrupted by the elevator doors opening. With fast steps, I made it to the door that my parents were behind and pressing in the code, I stepped inside.

“Who – Hanbin? What a lovely surprise. Did you come alone?” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nodded licking my lips that had suddenly become dry. “Well, come in. Come in.”

“Where’s my son?” Scoffing, I pointed at myself only for him to shake his head. “Not you. I want to know where my pretty son is.”

“O-Oh, probably at work?” I can’t tell them now, not when the mood is so warm and welcoming. “What are you cooking, mom?”

She rambled off some dish that had me tilting my head in confusion only to watch her plate Yunhyeong’s favorite food. I asked why she cooked it and her reply was so innocent that it made me feel like a jerk for what I said right after. I’m a horrible son.

“Yunhyeong taught me how to cook it, and he said that you liked it with pork, so I wanted to make it for your dad since you two have similar palates.” Biting my lip, it slipped from the grip my teeth had it on it.

“Can we please not talk about him? Please.” I was practically begging only for her to place the plate on the table with a look of confusion on her face.

“Why? Oh! We should call him and ask if he -,” Slamming my hand down on the counter, I wished for the pain to overshadow this wave of sadness.

“We broke up, okay?! So, stop talking about him!” Storming off, I went into my old bedroom slamming the door loudly behind me – What am I? An adolescent?

Falling to the ground, I leaned against my bed not understanding why it hurt so much. It shouldn’t since I’m the one who broke up with him, right? Why should I feel the pain that he’s supposed to feel? Why?

Glancing around the dimly lit room, I saw pieces of him everywhere from my closet to my desk, and even further than that. This room that isn’t even the master bedroom is covered inch from inch in his essence that had soaked itself deep before staining. Turning on my side, my eyes immediately fell on the Christmas present we had given my parents a year ago, and taking it in my hands I felt electricity run through me. My initial thought was to rip it to pieces without care but the moment I flipped the cover over and saw our happy faces I couldn’t.

Why did we have to be so damn happy?! Why couldn’t we have been more rough with each other? Why were we so happy and gentle to the point that we had to end? Why did he have to love me so fucking much?! Why did I feel the exact same?!

Throwing the book, it made a ‘ _thud_ ’ sound causing me to reach over and start tearing everything we had gotten each other off of the shelves that were supposed to be filled with books. I had cleared out the whole bottom shelf only to stop as I held onto the bear I had gotten him while in the military – I hadn’t gotten the chance to give it to him, and now I never will.

“H-Hanbin? Are you okay?” The door creaked open as the voice already revealed itself to be my mother.

Sniffling, I tried hard to suck up my snot and get rid of the tears that had fallen at the sight of his photographed face, but it was too late. Everything was too fucking late. Wrapping her arms around me, she laid my head on her chest allowing me to cry tears that I’ve been holding in for two months. She allowed me to scream at my pain until it filled the room and made both of our ears ring; she allowed me to be her baby although I’m a fully grown adult.

Her hand rubbed my back while her words tried to sooth me, but the more I spoke the harder it became to breath. I tried to smile only for my lips to tremble as spit fell from them at my incoherency. Why did I have to love that hard? WHY?!

“Sssh…you did good, baby. You loved him, and I know that it hurts to think of him not being by your side anymore. I know, but don’t let this ruin you, okay?” Shaking my head, I let out a small screech at the fact that I haven’t even realized that he’d never be by me ever again.

“I-I broke up with h-him. I-I didn’t really want to,” Gulping down the last of my sanity, my whole body shook. “I-I don’t want him to leave me, but h-he’s already GONE!”

Her body started to sway in that comforting way that she did when I was younger. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and blow it out fast, I sniffled hard trying to take my next one. If I knew love hurt this much, then I would have held onto him tighter – I would have done these last few months differently. I would have loved him hard, so that he could do the same. There are so many things I haven’t done with him and I never will.

I’m such a fucking loser!

Hitting the bear that’s attached to my chest, I kept apologizing even though there’s nothing I can do about it now. I should have pulled over and apologized then, but I didn’t – why didn’t I?! I could have at least heard him out for the last time, but I didn’t. There are so many things I didn’t do and the list just keeps getting longer.

At my thoughts, my hits started to become hard to the point that I felt it through the bear leaving my chest in a second pain. My tears rolled down like a waterfall causing my snot and spit to follow as I just couldn’t understand why I’m such an idiot. My wrist was grabbed stopping the nth hit that I was giving myself causing me to lean back and look into my mom’s eyes. They held a sadness that I’ve never seen before. She was likely sad that the fact that I’m tearing myself up over this, even though I know deep down she’s as sad as I am.

No one is ever going to love my parents as much as he has; no one is ever going to check on them almost every single day; no one is going to make sure they get home safe, even though they decline the offer; no one is going to shower them in affection and fully give themselves like he has; no one is ever going to love me as much as he has. They treated him like their own and the same could be said for me about his parents.

We weren’t supposed to break up – we were supposed to be together until the end of time, but here we are apart. I don’t even know where is and I’ve been racking up my worry as I had no one to express it to. I know it’s not right for me to know his every move after I broke his heart but I just can’t help it. I want to know if he’s okay; I want to know if work is going okay; I want to know how he’s coping without me; I want to know if his eyes are still red from the tears he spilt; I want to know if he’s fine living without me; I want to know if he misses me as much as I miss him. Sadly, I’ll never know.

I don’t remember falling asleep but it ended up being the best sleep I’ve had since we broke up. My tense body had now relaxed as my dream of him kept my spirits up. In it, he laid next to me in bed staring at me with a smile that I returned only to mouth that he loves me – he loved me more than I could ever know.

Taking a deep breath, I wiped my face before sitting up as I was now in bed when the last thing I remembered was being on the floor in my mom’s arms. They must have moved me. Grabbing my jacket, which laid draped over the edge of my bed, I dug in my pocket for my phone and pulling it out I was met with many missed calls and texts. A great deal was from Jinhwan while the rest were here and there making me sigh in disappointment. I shouldn’t expect him to call me, but I’ve become so used to it that I can’t help it. I couldn’t help a lot of things.

Clearing the missed calls and messages from my lock screen, I saw the smiling photo of him that I had taken on his first day of work and when I looked at my home screen it was the photo that he had sent me on our first date. My fingers moved on their own as I went to the photo gallery that I’ve been avoid as it’s only filled with pictures of us – well, they were mainly of him. Scrolling through the many pictures, I smiled allowing laughter to pass every once in a while, as I had funny picture of him that were cute no matter how you looked at it. Noticing a video, I clicked on it not expecting much.

_“Why are you wearing my clothes?” Laughing at the sight of him on the floor with his arms spread in clothing that were too big for him, I stepped closer. “Didn’t you try and kill me for destroying your shirt?”_

_“Yeah, and? What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine.” Sitting up, he took hold of my knees hitting the back of them so that I squatted next to him. “And if you complain I’m telling Dad.”_

_“Yah~, why are you rattling on me to my own parents?” Sticking his tongue out, I grabbed it before it could go back behind his lips. “Two can play at that game. If you complain I’m telling your mom.”_

_“ghat int fair! Release ny ongue, demon!” Grabbing my wrist, I gave in causing it to go back into his mouth as he rolled it around to moisten it. “Why are you filming this? Are you trying to blackmail me?”_

_“There’s only one form of blackmail and it involves -,” Swooping down, I took his confused state and smacking my lips on his own, I flashed him a quick smile. “kissing.”_

_“That isn’t even blackmail, idiot.” He smiled back with a wink that had us both laughing._

The video ended with a black screen as my phone had fallen out of my hand, hitting the ground beside us, but the noise in the background was filled with giggling and more kissing. A sigh passed my lips as I swiped past it only to pause at the next picture. It was of a drunk him with rosy cheeks and an even wider grin as he looked through the heart that he had made with his hands – ahh, these pictures aren’t getting any easier to look at. The next one was of him laying sound asleep on my chest while I held up a piece sign, my smile was as if I had won the lottery.

Going out of my gallery before I cried again, I did the unthinkable as I wasn’t actually thinking. I called him and as it rang I couldn’t breathe. Half of me wanted him to answer while the other half didn’t and it seems as though my other half won. I was sent straight to voicemail and listening to the automated voice tell me my options, I thought it’d be better to just get this stuff off my chest before I break down again. Hearing the loud beep, I coughed to clear my throat even though it wouldn’t make a difference.

“How are you? Are you okay? I hope so. Uh, I was only calling to get some stuff off my chest, so here it goes. I loved you, no, I’m still deeply in love with you but I meant what I said. I want you to be happy – I want you to walk the flower road while I walk the thorn road, because at the end of the day, you were beautiful. You were so fucking beautiful that tears come to me whenever I think about it. You don’t have to call me, or text me, but please be alright – please, be happy.” Sucking up my snot, I laughed at the fact that I’m crying so earlier in the morning. “You did everything you were supposed to do, so please only follow happiness, okay? I-I love you.”

Hanging up, I sent it letting out a shaky breath afterwards. I’m fine, and I really should get my life back on track. I should figure out how to live with him even though I know that it’s going to be hard to do. It’s going to be so damn hard, but I’ll make it work. I’ll make it work.


	27. Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't sleep and only you're in my head. What should I do? I miss you." - Boyfriend

Rushing into the house, my vision was blurred and my heart broken worse than it originally was. The home that we had built together no longer belonged to us – it no longer was a place I could comfortably rest my head. I had no real thoughts as I packed my things into whatever could fit into the first bag I saw. I just want to go home, that’s all I really want to do at this moment. Writing a small letter, I folded it in half and placing it on the counter I looked at the ring on my hand. Slowly pulling on it, everything in me broke even further because the moment it came off it told me that this is really the end. This is really it.

Placing the ring next to the letter, I took a deep breath trying to ignore the tears that continued to run down my face. The face he loved so much.

Once the single bag was packed, I ran back out only stopping to see his tear-covered face that looked in pain. I wanted to knock on the window and tell him to go inside before he gets sick or a crook in his neck, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so. He isn’t my concern anymore, nothing he ever does will be my concern. Wiping my nose with the back of my hand, I walked fast in hopes of catching the last bus or at least a taxi. Honestly, anything that took me away from this place was fine.

Putting on sunglasses, I concealed my tear-filled red eyes not wanting others to pass judgement more than they already do. I wanted my tears to stop but the quieter I became the harsher they fell leaving clear stains on my clothing. Why did he have to say all those kind things? Why did he have to say that he loved me, if he was just going to break up with me at the end of the day?

Getting on the train, the ticket I had brought in a hurry was crushed between my fingers as the thoughts of turning around plagued my whole being. He must still be in the car, right? He’ll come if I call for him, right? He still loves me, right? Lightly pushing up the sunglasses, I wiped my face before taking my seat trying to ignore the memories of the many train rides we had taken together. How he’d allow me to rest my head on his shoulder will holding my hand, and when I began to fall asleep he would caress my face whispering about how much he loves me – about how happy he is to be with me.

Leaning against the window, I closed my eyes liking how the cool glass chilled my heated face that’s surely as red as my eyes. The train jerked signaling that it was pulling away from the station, and even though I’m sure to be back before the weekend, I just wanted to take one last look. This will be the last time I’ll see this station with tears in my eyes from a heartbreak that I never saw coming – a heartbreak that shouldn’t have happened. A deep sigh left my lips as I bit them to stop the sobs that wanted to force their way through. The sobs that knew my pain better than I did.

When the train arrived at its destination, my body felt sluggish causing me to drag myself off the train and towards the taxis not wanting to disturb my parents right away. I want to fall into my mother’s arms like the child she’ll forever see me as, and once I’m done in her arms, I want to run to my dad for the comfort he’ll provide me as well. I just want to feel okay – that’s all I want. Making it home, I used whatever strength my legs had left to walk up to the door, and pressing in the code I was met with the loud barking of Lucky. Opening it, she stood at my feet with the hoodie that Hanbin had brought her on and a wide floppy grin that covered her face at the excitement of seeing me.

“Hon-Yun? What are you doing here?” Falling to my knees, I leaned against the closed door allowing my sobs to start up once more. “Omo, what’s wrong? What’s wrong?”

“W-We broke up. Mom, he isn’t mine anymore!” Ripping off my glasses, I tossed them at the wall missing the sound of them breaking to focus on the warm arms that wrapped around me.

“Oh my – come on, let’s get out of the doorway.” Helping me up, Lucky ran towards my bedroom barking at the door as if it would just open.

Sitting me on my bed, I dropped my bag by my feet and curling up into myself, I leaned against her shoulder. Her soft hand wiped at my face while the other rubbed my back in comforting circles. We sat in silence as she allowed me to scream, cry, and ask questions that she couldn’t answer, all while comforting me. She comforted me until I had run out of tears and was left to only sniffle at my pain and when my dad had come home he did the same. He told me that it’s a natural thing that happens to everyone, not understanding that it wasn’t supposed to happen to us.

We were supposed to continue being disgustingly happy deep into old age; we were supposed to adopt the three children our parents wanted; we were supposed to be the first ones married and showing off; we were supposed to be Hanbin and Yunhyeong forever. But here we are apart – never to be in love with each other ever again. Why couldn’t we have stayed together? WHY?! Why did he want to leave me so bad?! Am I really that horrible of a person?

“He still loves you. Why else would he set you free when he knows that you both will hurt? He still loves you, Yun.” Nodding, I turned my head into the crook of her neck, another hard sob racking through me at her words.

He still loves me – he’ll always love me.

Two months passed since then, and I busied myself with work. I took on all the extra shifts making it so that I wasn’t bothering Donghyuk and Bobby too much. I temporarily moved in with them as their place was close and I also didn’t want to live with Chanwoo again as they were sure to breath down my neck. The news traveled pretty quickly amongst our friends who called and checked up on me to the point that I had to start leaving my phone in my locker at work. Chanwoo was the only one who told me what I needed to know while leaving out other details – he even took it upon himself to tell me how Hanbin’s doing, even though I didn’t need it.

Of course, I wanted to know but he didn’t need to know that. He stopped coming into the hospital instead leaving me to deal with his teammates who were always happy to see me. I entertained them with small talk listening to the stories of Hanbin’s recent screw ups, although it left me to go home and cry in the shower until the water had turned cold. He’s doing fine without me and it hurts, a lot. I wanted him to come to me saying that he needs me, and that he can’t breathe without me because that’s how I feel without him.

Sighing, I entered the last chart before checking the time to see that my shift had ended more than 20 minutes ago. Flashing a smile to the other nurse, I headed to the locker room and putting on my thin jacket I took a deep breath having to remind myself that everything is okay. That I’m okay.

“Yunhyeong?” Turning around, I saw the naked back of Wonshik who was changing out of his button-up and into a t-shirt. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah, why do you ask?” Pulling down his shirt, he put on his own jacket before turning to me with a smile that didn’t look all that happy.

“Oh, well you haven’t been smiling much lately, so I thought something was wrong.” A small laugh passed through my nose as we exited the locker room together. “You look as if you need a drink.”

“Are you buying?” Our eyes met causing them to immediately crinkle and our mouths to form proper smiles.

“Only if you’re joining me.” Nodding, I agreed to his offer causing him to motion for me to follow him to his car. “Sorry for the mess. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t gotten the chance to clean lately.”

“It’s fine. I’m used to messes.” I laughed even though the words were a hit to my poor heart that’s still stuck on our memories.

Getting in, he took my lunchbox placing it on the backseat before buckling up and asking me if Soju is fine. Agreeing as I’ve gotten used to the taste of beer, I’ve been wishing for something stronger that’ll not knock me right out. Driving to a tent bar, we got out taking seats right next to his car thinking that it didn’t make much sense to go far. Our order was brought to us fast and after pouring one another a glass, we clinked them together.

“I haven’t seen Mr. Feisty around lately. Is he busy with work?” Shrugging, I poured myself another glass and throwing it back, it stopped a sigh.

“I have no idea. We broke up.” Inhaling through my gritted teeth, he hummed before clinking my empty glass with his full one.

“That makes two of us. Welcome to the heartbroken club, Yunhyeong.” Holding his hand out, I shook it causing me to laugh at his eagerness to welcome me. “How long has it been?”

“Two months, how about you?” Filling both of our glasses, we threw them back grimacing at the burning that was left once the alcohol had entered our system.

“Three months and counting.” His sigh seemed to fill the night air that was suddenly suffocating. “Love hurts more than I ever thought it would. I thought a lot of things but life only seems to be presenting me the opposite.”

“Well, seeing as how I already cried my sorrow away in my parents’ arms, I’ll lend you my shoulder if you want to talk about it.” A single tear rolled down his face before falling off his chin and into his glass.

“I-I just don’t know what to do anymore. He was my everything, and if it wasn’t for him then I probably wouldn’t have completed med school – I even graduated a semester early. If it wasn’t for him, then I wouldn’t even be able to feel a sense of accomplishment when I do well at work. I have no one to tell me that I did a good job at the end of a long day. I come home to an empty house and an even emptier heart. I loved him with everything in me, and in the end, it still wasn’t enough.” A huge lump had formed in my throat at his feelings because I felt the exact same way.

If it wasn’t for Hanbin, then I’m sure I would have given up on school when everything had gotten hard; if it wasn’t for Hanbin then I wouldn’t feel accomplished in my life. If it wasn’t for him then I probably wouldn’t have given this love my all – I wouldn’t feel so hurt by this love that I loved more than my own life.

“He broke up with m-me because he said I was abandoning him to focus more on my work. We hadn’t gone on any dates or even had the chance to say I love you in passing because I was always coped up in the hospital with a patient. But when I did try to give him my love and time, he was too busy grading papers and projects. I guess you can say we missed our timing.” Tears spilled from my eyes without my permission as I said the exact same thing about my relationship – we had missed our timing and now, we have none.

“Bobby and Donghyuk are going to be on my ass for drinking so much.” Chuckling, I threw back another glass before asking for a new bottle.

“I can’t believe you cursed!” His gasp had me laughing harder than I meant to, and as my hand banged on the table I was genuine about my reaction for the first time in two months. “Seems we’ll have to buy some soap when I go to drop you off.”

“Make sure it’s not scented. They leave a bad taste afterwards.” The sad mood had instantly lifted at our joking around.

We spent the rest of the evening laughing and crying at the memories of our loves that had left us and when it was time to go home, we reluctantly parted ways. Getting out of his car, I thanked the driver we had called before skipping my way inside only to be met with two very angry looking individuals. They both scolded me for staying out so late to drink, the both of them emphasizing on the fact that I didn’t tell them that I was doing so. When did they become my parents?

Giving a half-assed apology, I went into the spare bedroom throwing off my clothing before heading into the bathroom to take a shower. I needed to wash the sad energy away. Coming out, I flipped through my clothes noticing a shirt that didn’t belong to me. Pulling it out, I took a deep breath as I remembered when I said that our dark clothing was sure to get mixed up, and here I am with his black sweater that smelled so much like him.

“I should return this to him.” Is what I said, but in the end, I slipped it on taking warmth in the material that hugged my body.

It’s a good thing I don’t have work tomorrow for the first time in forever. Slipping on some shorts as it was rather warm to be wearing a sweater, I flopped down on the bed snuggling myself deep into the covers breathing in a scent that will be washed away. My eyes fluttered close and when I opened them again, I saw his smiling face as he ran his fingers through my hair telling me to wake up. Closing my eyes again, when I had opened them the sun was out and lighting up the bedroom causing me to wonder when I had fallen asleep.

Grabbing my phone, I saw I had a message from Wonshik and a voicemail for H-Hanbin. Jumping up, I pulled the covered tightly around me as I opened the text message first. He had offered to let me room with him seeing as how he had the extra room and I needed a place to stay. Agreeing, I thanked him knowing that I wouldn’t be a burden on the couple that’s spending whatever time they have to plan a wedding. Going to the voicemail, my hands shook as I hit play not knowing what to expect. What if he says that he wants me to come back? What if he says that he doesn’t love me anymore?

“How are you? Are you okay? I hope so. Uh, I was only calling to get some stuff off my chest, so here it goes. I loved you, no, I’m still deeply in love with you but I meant what I said. I want you to be happy – I want you to walk the flower road while I walk the thorn road, because at the end of the day, you were beautiful. You were so fucking beautiful that tears come to me whenever I think about it. You don’t have to call me, or text me, but please be alright – please, be happy. You did everything you were supposed to do, so please only follow happiness, okay? I-I love you.” Swallowing the lump that’s been in my throat since early this morning, I couldn’t believe how big of an idiot he is – why won’t you just say you want me back?!

Replaying it a few times, I started to pause it after every sentence as I felt obligated to answer him seeing as how he put his heart into this message.

“How are you?” “I’m better than I was when I left.” “Are you okay?” “No, but I act as if I am.” “Uh, I was only calling to get some stuff off my chest, so here it goes.” “Okay.” “I love you, no, I’m still deeply in love with you but I meant what I said.” “I’m still deeply in love with you, too.” “I want you to be happy – I want you to walk the flower road while I walk the thorn road, because at the end of the day, you were beautiful.” “Let’s just walk the flower road together, stupid. We can both be happy, so why make yourself suffer?” “You were so fucking beautiful that tears come to me whenever I think about it.” “I think about you a lot too.” “You don’t have to call me, or text me, but please be alright – please, be happy.” “Why? Why don’t you want me to call or text you? Why do you want me to be alright? Why are you so adamant on my happiness? When are you going to start focusing on yourself, idiot?” “You did everything you were supposed to do, so please only follow happiness, okay?” “And, if I don’t?” “I-I love you.” “I love you more than you could ever know! Why would you leave me such a sad message, Kim Hanbin? Why?”

Putting my head into my cover-clad knees, I screamed into them allowing my tears to wet the fabric. Why can’t he ever understand my feelings? Why is he always deciding things on his own? Why can’t he just let me love him? Making a clip of the last part, I played it over and over again not wanting to forget the voice that I’m slowly crying away.

“I-I love you.” What should I do? I miss you, idiot.


	28. Killing Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is it because of this painful longing? Or is it my selfish loneliness?" - IKON

Finally getting myself somewhat together, I had gone back to work with a cooler demeanor than the one I left with. Seunghoon’s words still pricked my skin but I hide it well enough for it to seem as if I wasn’t bothered. He kept calling him his angel and lover with that stupid smile that made my stomach churn at just the thought of it. I wish he would catch the mood and shut the fuck up, but that probably isn’t going to happen at all. Getting back in touch with Jinhwan and Bobby, they both showed their concern for my sudden disappearance only to backtrack and call me names. Of course I took it all, already having call myself the things that they called me – at least, it was less hurtful when they did it.

Sighing, I scratched my head as the person in front of me kept rambling on about their innocence that clearly wasn’t there. Why did I get stuck on desk duty? It’s so annoying. I did learn things that I never knew as I’m a part of the investigation team, but it’s still annoying having to listen to people lie straight through their teeth.

“So, why where you there, again?” Staring at him, he groaned loudly as if I was the one at fault here.

“Like I said the first time; I was told to go there a-and pick up something. How am I supposed to know that there would be t-that there?! I didn’t kill anyone nor do I do drugs!” Nodding, I hummed while typing in whatever I needed and ignoring the rest as it did nothing for this case.

“And like I said the first time, who sent you and what were you supposed to pick up?” He fell silent trying to think of another lie making me clench up my fist not understanding why telling the truth is so hard.

“U-Uh -,” Cutting him off, I looked over at the officer next to me, I asked him to take over so I could have a quick smoke break.

He agreed quickly sliding over into my seat once I stood making me grab my phone and the un-opened pack of cigarettes I’ve been carrying around. I’m not going to smoke or more so I couldn’t, as the promise I made to him was something I planned to keep – I just had the pack as an excuse to leave whenever I wanted some fresh air. Heading outside, I stood off to the side of the stairs and crouching down I dialed Bobby’s number. It’s the weekend and we both get off around the same time, so I can hang out with him like he’s been bothering me to these last few weeks. 

“It seems you finally know how to use your phone.” A chuckle passed my lips at his words of surprise. “What do I owe this call, your highness?”

“Let’s go clubbing before you can’t anymore.” He became silent at my words causing the background noise to come to the front.

“But – I’m having a bachelor party weirdo, let’s just go get drinks.” Sighing, I couldn’t believe that he was really trying to get out of his favorite pass time.

“Don’t tell me your too old for clubs? We’re not even in our mid-twenties yet.” The only reason I’m so adamant on clubbing is because if we just get drinks, he’s going to try and talk about things I don’t want to.

“Fine, I’ll meet you there once I get off.” Congratulating him on not being old, I hung up not wanting to drag the conversation on any longer.

“What are you doing?” Glancing up, I was met with the smiling face of Minwoo who was perched on top of the stairs.

“Smoke break.” Standing, he walked down the steps to meet me at the bottom – he had something to say.

“Mhm, okay. Well, Team Leader said that you can come back to the squad room. He needs fresh eyes for this case we just got.” Following behind him, I tried to hid my smile as I’m glad that I don’t have to be stuck hearing more lies for the next few minutes.

Work finished up with me ending the case I was working on earlier as the guy ended up snitching on himself and those that were involved. He might not make it out of prison unscathed but we’ll worry about it when the time comes. Driving home, I decided it’ll be best to take a shower and change not wanting to be around other people smelling like cigarettes and lies. It’ll be the first time I’ve partied since – anyway, it’s been a while, so I have to look good. Coming out of the bathroom, I went right to the closet that I haven’t opened in a long time as I didn’t want to see the clothes that didn’t belong to me. He didn’t take everything, so of course, I still held hope even though I’d never voice it out loud.

Sliding the door open, I looked at the many articles of clothing and throwing on whatever looked good together, I went to go style my hair. I didn’t do much beside pushing it back and now, I’m ready. Calling a taxi, I didn’t want to drive seeing as how I’m trying to lose every last sense of reality that I have. Arriving at the club, I texted the old man that I was here only to get a quick on my way text back. The line was long and knowing him it’ll be a while before he actually arrives, so getting into line I waited on him. When he did pop up, I was almost to the front meaning that he had just played the system.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Grabbing the hand that he held out to me, I pulled him into a hug, lightly patting his back.

“It’s called fashion – to be honest, I just threw it on because it looked good together.” The line moved forward causing us to do the same. “Why are you still in your work clothes?”

“I ended up having to stay a few minutes later because someone didn’t want to finish their part of the work.” Well, at least, he’s here now.

Entering the club, he went to get a table while I went to get our first round of drinks. Sitting them down, I threw mine back as it made my eyes water from the burning my throat had went through. Blinking away the tears, I watched as he lightly sipped on his own drink. When did he become a party-pooper?

“I’m going to get another drink then make my way onto the floor.” Nodding at my words, I left him to get me an even stronger drink.

Well, one drink ended up being two and two ended up being three but I made it onto the floor nonetheless. Dancing with some random stranger, I nodded my head along to the beat that seemed to fill my whole body. I should go clubbing more often. Swaying my way off of the floor, my arm was grabbed as I was suddenly being pulled in the opposite direction of Bobby. My back was being slammed against the wall, or a door, and hands were running themselves up my front only to tangle into my hair in the end. Lips captured my own causing me to kiss back as I had nothing truly holding me back.

“I haven’t seen you around before. You must be new.” Not being in the mood to really talk about myself, I tangled my own hands in the short-ish hair and tugging back on it, I licked my lips. “Bathroom?”

Nodding, I took his lips once more as he backed me across the wall and into the neon-lit bathroom. Pushing me into a stall, I stumbled a little having to hold onto the walls as he dropped onto his knees unbuckling my jeans. Watching with half-lidded eyes, he stared back up at me with a shy smile that didn’t match the situation at all. Pulling my underwear and pants down in one swift motion, I sobered up a little at the cold air only to throw my head back in pleasure as he took me fully without warning. I really should go clubbing more often. Somewhere in the middle, I think, he had given up on working, so I grabbed his head thrusting into his mouth at a fast-ish pace having to remind myself that he’s a human being.

“Hanbin?!” Groaning, I picked up speed a little bit only to come down his throat, a sigh of relief falling from my lips. “Yah, Hanbin!”

“I heard you the first time, asshole.” Pulling out, I quickly tucked myself back into my underwear and pulling up my pants I fixed myself to look as I did when I had left his eye-sight. “Good job.”

Patting the stranger’s cheek, I threw open the door to see Bobby standing across from me staring in disbelief. Shrugging, he took my arm dragging me out of the bathroom, plenty of vicious words falling from his lips – it isn’t like I stuck my dick in him, so what’s the problem? Making it back to our table, he pushed a drink towards me still scolding me for going off with a stranger in my half-drunken state. ‘You don’t know what would have happened!’, what is he my mom?

“We should have just gotten drinks.” Snickering at him, I swallowed the drink as if it was nothing before leaving again to get more.

This time I came back instead of heading to the floor, and sitting down the arm full of drinks, I picked one sipping on it. The music in this place has gotten better over the last two years.

“Loosen up a little, Bob.” A look of disgust had come onto his face making me chuckle a little. “Not that type of loose, just lose the stick up your ass for a few minutes.”

“Sorry, but Dong put the stick there and I can’t just take it out whenever I want to.” Rolling my eyes, a heavy sigh left my lips not believing how un-fun my best friend had become. “Fine, I’ll do one song.”

“Great, now let’s finish these drinks and hit the floor.” Splitting the drinks in half, we down three more each before making our way onto the floor.

The music had gotten even more upbeat as the DJ did a great job of leaving everyone on their toes as he switched in between songs like magic. My partner this time was a girl, and as Bobby stood next to me, I could already make out the look on his face without actually looking at him. As she grinded against me, I grinded back trying to erase old thoughts – thoughts that involved his sad face and tears – now isn’t the time for this. Screaming as the DJ instructed the crowd to do, my voice had suddenly gone hoarse making me laugh at the way how it hurt. ‘What is this pain?’, that was my only thought at the moment.

The girl turned around latching her lips onto my own making me return the kiss as she was a horrible kisser but the alcohol could be a part of the problem. Shoving my tongue in her mouth, she did the exact same before pulling back a little to bite my bottom lip. The moment it slid from in between her teeth, I couldn’t help the groan that left my mouth and I don’t even know why. It must be because of the alcohol that was slowly but surely kicking my ass.

The girl soon changed to another and then another guy, and another until my mind was too jumbled to tell the difference. All I know is that the alcohol kept coming and so did the lips and service they had given me. Giggling, I fell back against the wall slightly hitting my head staring at Bobby who was trying to get my attention. Why is my vision so blurry? Lightly touching my cheeks, I noticed the wetness that it held and I just knew that I was crying.

“Hanbin? Are you okay?” Nodding, I wiped my face not wanting the party to end yet, even though my staggering and drunken muteness suggested otherwise. “Come on, let’s go. I’ll take you home.”

Shaking my head, he didn’t care about my protest as the last thing I remembered was being pushed into the back of his car. His car that held so many stupid happy memories. What even is happiness? Where is my happiness? Probably at work. More tears fell at the realization that I still thought about him when I shouldn’t be – I wonder if he still thinks about me?

Closing my eyes, I hugged my drunken self as many thoughts and memories seemed to take over. When I opened them, I was on the couch in the living room with a pillow under my head that was throbbing harshly. Blinking a few times, I groaned wishing that the sun would go away but by the deep chuckle I knew that it wasn’t going anyway.

“Good morning, Playboy.” Turning so that my face was in the couch, I scratched my side wondering why he’s here – shouldn’t he be at home? “Wow, that’s rude, especially when I took care of you last night.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” My voice is so scratchy that it didn’t even sound like my own.

“ _Bobby~ call my baby for me, pweese! YUNHYEONG, come back to me. I-I wove you! N-No, they meant nothing I romise – I only need you. Yunnie, don’t you love me? I knew you did, so why you no stay? Why you leave? Why you break my little heart? Oh, I broke your heart, sowwy. Huh? No cry! I’ll wove you forever. B-Boobie, I feel -,_ ” All that could be heard after that was sound of me throwing up every last organ in my body.

“Like I said, I took care of you. Also, you should buy bigger clothes. I had to dig through your closet and it seemed that nothing was in your right size.” Moving my arms, they felt a little tight causing me to sigh at the fact that I’m such a mess. “Why are you so quiet? Don’t tell me you went back to sleep?”

“The shirt isn’t mine, it’s Yunhyeong’s and thanks for last night. Now, delete the recording.” Facing him, he sat at the end of my feet with a triumphant smirk.

“Nope! I’m going to keep it in case anything every happens.” Sitting up, I soon came right back down feeling as if I had just been hit in the head with a million bricks. “I brought hangover soup. Would you care to eat?”

“Fuck you, and yes.” He stood heading into the kitchen only to come back with a bowl, spoon, and some aspirin.

“Last night was the worst I’ve ever seen you before. You were practically exchanging saliva with everyone in there and not to mention your countless trips to the bathroom. If you want to have a one-night stand at least do it with someone who you get to know a little bit.” Sitting up, again, I tried my hardest not to throw up as I knew nothing was going to come out.

“Where would I take them?” Sticking the spoon in the bowl, I grabbed the water and aspirin downing that first before I started eating.

“I’m guessing here or their place.” Swallowing what was in my mouth, I scoffed not believing that he would actually say that. “Don’t tell me you don’t plan on bringing them home?”

“I can’t disrespect our home like that.” My lips felt weird causing me to wipe them only for nothing to come off.

“Our?” Freezing, the words had come back to me like a light tap on the neck – well, it isn’t a lie as it is OUR home, his name is still on the lease. “I thought you didn’t care, anymore.”

“Huh? When did I say that?” Pulling out his phone again, I couldn’t believe he recorded everything.

“ _I loved him to death, but in the end I didn’t die, so what should I care?! I don’t give a damn about him just like he doesn’t about me because if he did he would have come back. He would have hit me for trying to get rid of him. He’s the selfish bastard if anything!_ ” Cutting it off, there was clearly more to my rant that I really didn’t mean – or maybe, in that moment, I did, who knows?

“There’s one more clip, do you want to hear it?” Shaking my head, he clearly didn’t care as he clicked on it causing the sound of my croaky voice and slightly slurred speech to be heard again.

“ _No, I was selfish – I’m one selfish son of a bitch. I shouldn’t have turned my back on him like that. I loved him more than life itself, but in the end I feel like I’m dying. I care more than I should – no, I care the right amount because he must care as much too, right? Right! These thoughts and habits that you left me with are killing me, so why won’t you come back? I want the pain to stop. Yunnie, please come back._ ” Finishing the rest of my soup, I laid back down making sure to kick him a few times until he moved further away from me.

“If you want I can send them to him, maybe he’ll come back at the desperation in your voice.” Sighing, I covered my face with my arm wishing that he’d just shut up already.

“Get out.” He kept saying ‘huh?’ as if he couldn’t hear me and it’s annoyed me more than it should have. “If you’re not going to be a good friend then get the fuck out! Let me rest in peace, asshole!”

Finally falling silent, I sighed once more trying to think about anything other than what I’m feeling right now, which is easier said than done. I want him back but is it out of my own selfishness or the love that I actually feel for him? I told him to be happy without me, so I shouldn’t feel this lonely without him, right? Uh, I don’t know anymore. All I know is that I want him by my side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say is that Hanbin is a mess. See you at the next update!


	29. Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I need you, I love you - My broken heart is calling for you..." - FTIsland

My days that were already long felt even longer time went on. I should get over him especially since he clearly isn’t coming back, or at least wants me back, but it’s harder than I imagined. Well, I never imagined that we’d break up in the first place, so it is what it is. My days that were long were filled with even longer nights that consisted of Wonshik and I drinking in the living room in silence. We’ve both talked enough about our past loves that we both felt as if we knew them personally, so there’s no reason to talk on it anymore – is what we both said but every once in a while, it just came up. And the underlying pain that came up with it had us both silently crying ourselves into forced sleep, that was bitter at most.

Heavily sighing, I shook my head to clear my painful thoughts as I needed to be focused on my work. I only had an hour left until my shift was over and Wonshik and I planned to go out and eat for today. Of course, we’ll drink as we talk about the day we shared together that is sure to be filled with laughter and uplift our tired spirits. Mhm, our tired spirits that have done nothing but take all the pain we received as if it was nothing.

“Yunhyeong?” Glancing up from the screen in front of me, I saw Jinhwan looking at me with this weird look. “Why have you been ignoring my texts?”

“I’ve been busy, sorry.” Looking him over, he seemed fine but I couldn’t help the worry that bubbled up inside of me. “Are you hurt? Is that why you’re here?”

“No, I’m not hurt, idiot. I came to check on you.” A small smile had come onto my face at how soft his expression had become. “Are you okay?”

“I’m great, Ni.” Calling him the nickname I made up in one of my drunken stupors, he reached over the desk lightly punching my shoulder.

“Yun?!” Jumping, we both turned in the direction of the voice to see a still professionally dressed Wonshik lightly jogging towards us. “Sorry, I didn’t see you. You can continue the conversation.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m about to leave anyway.” The look he was giving me had me dying because he was clearly curious.

“Jinhwan this is Wonshik, my roommate and friend.” Wonshik stuck out his hand for the other to take which he did with a tilt of his head – why does he overthink everything?

“It’s nice to meet you.” They had their little small talk before his phone had gone off making him run out telling me to respond to his texts. “He seems lovely.”

Rolling my eyes, I sat back down causing him to lean over the desk staring at me while I tried to work, again – which he made so much harder. Turning to face him, he held this wide smile that had me unconsciously smiling back.

“Yes?” Reaching in his back pocket, he produced a sucker and holding it out, I took it. “What’s this for?”

“Nothing, really. I just thought you might need the last minute boost. I’ll see you in less than an hour, okay?” Nodding, he walked away going back to where he had come from leaving me to stare at the sucker in my hand.

Last minute boost, huh? He’s so weird, but it’s kindly appreciated.

Shaking my head, I unwrapped the sucker before popping it in my mouth and going back to my work that needed to be finished. When the hour had finally come to an end, I quickly clocked out, skipping into the locker room only to be stopped by the one and only, Dr. Lee. I can never get a break when it comes to him, sadly.

“Why are you so happy?” It’s literally none of his business what my emotions are and I just don’t get why he’s so worried about it. “Well, I thought you might want to know that I saw your boyfriend at the club this past weekend.”

My face fell at his words because that isn’t any of my business anymore, and he doesn’t know that, but it’s clear that he’s trying to get under my skin. Why can’t he just leave me alone?

“All I’m saying is that you should get him checked because he was swapping saliva with a lot of people, and you never know what he might have caught.” Bumping shoulders, he left with a smirk that I wanted to punch off.  

Taking a deep breath, I went towards my locker opening it and throwing on my jacket as I would shower and change at home before we went to go eat. Closing the thick wood door, Wonshik suddenly popped up with this sad look on his face.

“Sorry, but I have to work a few more hours because the doctor that’s supposed to be coming in has some family problems. Is it okay if we postpone dinner for tomorrow?” Nodding, he flashed me another smile before running out telling me to text him when I make it home.

Yeah, okay, now what? I guess, I’ll just go home and relax, maybe get takeout since I didn’t have any plans on cooking in the first place.

Waiting on the side of the road, I was trying to hail a taxi when my phone had gone off. Checking the message, it was from Bobby as he sent this long message basically saying that Hanbin has been wearing my clothing because he’s too last to actually find his own. I was going to text him and tell him not to stretch out my stuff but I stopped myself remembering that we aren’t together anymore. I should go and get my stuff, but I’ve already brought new clothes since then, so it doesn’t really bother me all that much. It’s actually kind of cute and shows me that he still thinks of me – that he still probably wants me.

Finally catching the taxi, I leaned my head against the window listening to the radio that played one of Hanbin’s favorite songs. Well, I wouldn’t really call it a favorite but it’s been stuck on his head for the last who knows how many years, and he just bursts out of nowhere singing it. _jinjinjara jini jini jaan jaan~._

And now, it’s stuck in my head, again.

Paying the fair, I got out thanking the driver before running inside ready to drown in hot water and soap made bubbles. Taking off my jacket, I hung it on the coat rack and slipping off my shoes I headed into the bathroom. Turning on the hot water, it rushed out filling the bottom of the tub and as I added a small amount of cold water, I couldn’t help but sigh over and over again. Stripping myself of the scrubs that u wore more than my actual clothes, I turned off the faucet before sliding into the water that relaxed all my muscles.

“ _I spent so much time wanting to be next to you, kissing you and hugging you_ …” The voice from that time was different from the voice that I couldn’t believe broke up with me – it was sad, but at the same time energetic.

“Whew, I need to stop dwelling on the past. I’m starting to hear voices.” Sighing, I laughed not even wanting to understand the new low I had just hit.

“ _Yunnie, can I join you?_ ” Shaking my head, the many memories of him trying to get into my showers or baths had flooded my tired mind. “ _Why not? We can save on the water bill._ ”

“I don’t give a damn about the water bill, Bi – Han -,” My words had gotten stuck in my throat as I sat up to see that no one else was in the room with me – I really am losing my mind.

Leaning back against the tub, I slide down until the water rested under my nose and my knees were slightly bent. Another sigh left my lips causing bubbles to form, popping on my nose and right before my eyes. I need to get over him because it’s clear that he’s gotten over me, right? He hasn’t called or texted me since that voicemail that happened almost a month ago. Him wearing my clothes can be chalked up to him being too lazy to do the laundry, and Bobby’s seeing it as something that it isn’t. He went clubbing and had a grand ol’ time kissing, among other things, with people he doesn’t even know – he probably didn’t even think of calling me in his drunken state like he always did. Our love must have really meant nothing to him, no, it meant the world to the both of us, so why are we here? Why am I in a bathtub in a home that doesn’t belong to me wishing to drown my sorrows away? Whatever, I should get out and experience life as well.

Sitting up, the water fell off of me in waves making the water sound like a wave that was crashing on shore. Taking a deep breath, I began to scrub my tired skin until I didn’t smell like the hospital or even myself – I want to be someone else for just one night. Just for tonight.

Finishing my bath, I went into my room looking through the many clothes with the tags still on them, and ripping them off I dressed better than I should have. Sending a quick text to Wonshik, so that he wouldn’t be worried, I headed out with no real sense of direction. The steps I took were long and drawn-out until I started walking at a normal pace that was neither fast nor slow. It had become chilly as Summer had long since come to an end and fall was now upon us. The many streets that I’ve become accustomed to were now filled with the falling of early leaves that decided to jump before the rest, and as they flattened under my feet I chuckled at their pain. The pain that I knew all too well.

Stepping onto paths that I knew from old dates, I started to walk a little slower wanting to relive the love I thought of everyday for the last time. I said, I wanted to be someone else but that seems to be hard to do. Like he said, I never did change – I’ll always be the same old Yunhyeong from when we first met.

“ _Don’t run too fast, there’s ice on the ground!_ ” The image of me running backwards while I waved for him to hurry up had me smiling.

“ _Woah!_ ” My foot slipped a little bit causing me to run, grabbing me tightly, and as we stared at each other the snow had gotten heavier. “ _A little too fast?_ ”

“ _Very._ ” Giggling, he stood me up making my arms instantly wrap around his neck not wanting to break from him just yet. “ _We can’t walk like this, Yun._ ”

“ _Then carry me, handsome._ ” Jumping, he caught my legs with ease and as he held them he continued the rest of our journey as I laid my head in the crook of his neck. “ _Don’t drop me or else, I’ll kill you._ ”

“ _Oops…_ ” Fake stumbling, I held on even tighter afraid of him actually dropping me as the ground is cold and harder than it should be. “ _I-I can’t b-breathe_!”

Turning the corner, that memory disappeared as if it was never there causing a new one to appear. More and more kept coming as I walked these streets that I once loved leaving my eyes to become wet with tears that I kept at bay. My head hurt with everything that came rushing at me and as I glanced at my hand that was missing its ring, everything in me screamed to go see him. But I didn’t listen knowing that it’ll only hurt me more. Why am I in pain when he’s perfectly fine? It isn’t fair, at all.

The wind picked up making the cold breeze hit my hot face instantly cooling it and the tears that began to hurt my eyes. Blinking to clear the blur, I took a deep breath wanting to calm my aching heart. Leaning against a random wall, I took out my phone tired of listening to it ring in my pocket and slapping it against my ear, I didn’t even care to see who it is.

“Where are you? I got off a little early, so if you want we can still go to dinner.” The breath I released was shaky beyond comprehension as I should have stopped feeling this way a long time ago. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Send me your location, okay?”

He hung up allowing me to send it as I had no real idea where I was anyway. All I knew was that this wall was keeping me from falling to the ground.

“ _I want to be the wind in my next life, Yun, so that I can go where I want to without worries._ ” The wind has become cold idiot – why would you want to be cold?

“ _Mhm, me? I want to be a mountain, so that I can always be surrounded by the wind._ ” All I ever wanted to be with is him and now it’s all just a bunch of stupid memories.

Hitting my back against the wall, I slowly started to calm myself down as the slight pain pushed away my sad thoughts. We are done, and even though it’s hurtful, I need to get over myself. I need to get over the me that would tell him to come back into my arms – the me that would take the blame if only it meant that we could always be together. The me that is so stupidly in love.

The bright light of a car had my eyes opening to see Wonshik getting out and running towards me, worry feeling the silhouette that is him. Licking my lips, a small smile had formed as I pushed myself off the wall meeting him halfway. He questioned me and looked me over only to see that I was perfectly fine on the outside. Decline the idea of eating out, we both settled on the idea of takeout before getting in the car and driving to some place I had mind-numbingly agreed to. Going back to the home we shared together, we sat down in the living room both silent as we chewed on meat, vegetables and noodles that somehow went together perfectly.

“Yunhyeong?” Turning to look at him, he held out a napkin which I took without a smile not knowing if I had the right to do so when I felt like crap.

Wiping my face, I gathered up are garbage and throwing them away, I turned to leave the kitchen only to be stopped in the doorway by Wonshik. He seemed like he had a lot to say, but I was more than surprised when he didn’t. Grabbing my face, his hold was firm as he tilted my head back before leaning down to capture my lips in a kiss I didn’t even know I needed. The past three months of loneliness, self-pity, and overall sadness had me kissing back even harder. Tears ran down both of our faces as it was evident that we both missed the only things that we so truly longed for making the kiss ten times more intense than it needed to be.

The kiss soon became more as we crashed into the furniture in the hallway trying not to break the kiss – it was like a lifeline that we were both clinging to. Entering his bedroom, the wind that had blew in from his window reminded me of the person I was just trying to be not so long ago. I wanted to change in hopes that the outcome would be different but in the end it would all be the same.

Breaking the kiss, he slammed the window closed before ripping off his shirt causing me to do the same without a second thought. Our broken hearts were calling for the loves we lost and in the end, we also called each other.

“We’ll never cry, again.” Saying it made me feel as though I was finally content with this breakup that I agreed too.

“Never.” Pulling off each other’s pants, we both nodded in agreement knowing that this is it – our heartache should end here, right in this moment.

It obviously wouldn’t be that easy, but we both knew that the masks we put on would soon become real finally making us happy in the end. In an unforeseen end.


	30. Jerk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stupid, I miss you. Every night and day, every time and every second." - IKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They meet, again.

Tapping my fingers against my glass, I glanced around the restaurant in hopes that he would show up. It would be nice if he did because then we could talk this over and try to work out a friendship, even though I never wanted to be his friend in the first place. Sighing, I turned catching the sight of Bobby, who sat across from me, staring at me intensely probably already knowing what I was doing. Well, it didn’t really take much as he has more than enough recorded evidence to use against me. He’s a horrible friend now that I think about it.

“Should we just order?” The whole table nodded at my words causing me to wave a waitress over. 

After placing our order, we were left back in silence that has taken over the group since I had arrived. It’s the first gathering I attended since our breakup and it seems that there is an obvious strain on our friendship. I understood as it was bound to happen, which is why I’m trying my hardest to ignore it. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes before releasing it wishing to get a better grounding on myself – one that isn’t so sad.

“W-What have you been up to lately, Hanbin?” Glancing at Donghyuk, he gave me a genuine smile that had me sighing in return.

“Working, drinking, and sleeping.” Worry had come over his features making me laugh as I shook my head. “We’ve been having a lot of team dinners as of lately, and I can’t really decline the drinks offered to me.”

“Oh okay, well, be careful with drinking too much. You don’t want to damage your liver.” Thanking him for his concern, I thought back on my answer as it was a half lie, because I did drink for the dinners but I spent most of my time drinking at home or in a bar. “Hyung, didn’t you have some news to share?”

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Uh, I got promoted at work.” The table cheered at the good news, all but me as I slowly clapped not wanting to completely ruin the mood. “I get more days off now, so I’m free to hang out more.”

The waitress came back interrupting our “celebration” by sitting down the many plates of food that were soon to be scarfed down. Taking my plate, I thanked her with a smile not missing the blush that had come onto her face. The others seemed to notice as well, but I ignored it as I saw nothing going beyond a one-night stand – I’m not in the mood for a relationship, right now. Digging into my food, I ate fast while also trying to seem as though I’m not rushing to get out of here – which isn’t what I’m doing, but I’m on standby and I have a gut feeling that something is going to come up.

“Hanbin?” Scrapping my fork against the plate, I shoved the rest of the food into my mouth feeling my phone vibrate against my leg.

“Hold on.” Pulling it out, I pressed it against my ear listening to Rome tell me that they were closing in on a gang active sight and would need me to help. “Mhm, okay. I’m on my way. Yeah, it’ll only be like 15 minutes, so wait a second. Hung up, idiot.”

“Is something wrong?” Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I stood shaking my head as it didn’t really concern them.

“It’s work. I’ll see you guys whenever, okay? Bye.” Downing the rest of my water, I took some bills out of my pocket and slapping them against Bobby’s chest, I ran out getting into my car.

Driving fast, I forgot the stick on siren but it didn’t matter in this situation as I needed to be quiet anyway. Turning the intended corner, I slowed down coming to a somewhat crawl before pulling up alongside the van that my teammates were in. Team Leader rolled down the window telling me to park somewhere and come join them in the van for the briefing. Nodding, I parked next to one of the many other cars that belonged to the gang members and getting out I quickly tiptoed my way into the back of the van. Softly closing the door behind me, I sighed in relief glad that I didn’t miss anything – I would probably throw a fit if Rome told them to start without me.

“Okay, now that we’re all here this is the plan…” Listening, I nodded every so often having to remind myself that I was a part of the first wave that’s going in.

By the time the plan was fully established, backup had pulled up in groups making me roll my neck, cracking it, as I got out leaning against the side of the van. Once everyone was out, I slammed the door closed before taking the weapon that they handed to me for protection – it was right out of a movie - the black tape wrapped piece of wood that fit nicely in my hands. Standing next to Seunghoon, he was a part of the first wave with me, we gave each other slight nods before advancing on the building with the other officers walking alongside of us. Throwing open the door, everything seemed to freeze as we looked at the gang members who looked back while cursing under their breath.

“Hey, Lee! I thought we told you that you’re closed for business!” At my scream, the officers rushed passed us to grab the lower members that were trying to flee the scene. “Isn’t this worth a lot of money?!”

Swinging the piece of wood into a very expensive vase, it crashed loudly against the ground earning a few gasps from those who couldn’t believe I had just done that. Like I care. The one called Lee finally came out with more people looking ready to murder us for tearing up his beautifully decorated building. Waving at him, he rolled his eyes making me tilt my head before swinging the wood into a painting that he got done of himself.

“Oops, my arms been going crazy as of lately.” There went a row of expensive glasses and a few more vases. “I’m so sorry. Let me fix that.”

Laughing, I shook my head jumping on the broken piece making sure that he got a good look. He’s going to prison once again and it’ll be a long time before he ever sees such luxury every again. One of his men came charging at me, and as they swung I dodged it with ease side stepping them a little to break the wood over their head with as much force as possible. The guy hit the ground but my eyes were focused on the crack that was now in the wood that I thought was thicker.

“You know I hate sneaky stuff, Lee. Why don’t you just come quietly and we’ll leave everything alone, okay?” Trying to negotiate, I dodged a few more flying fist that were fighting the officers that were around me. “You should also train them to be better fighters if this is all that they can do.”

“Kim, I don’t think you understand the situation here – this is my house meaning that I don’t like to play fairly in it.” Two guys came this time causing me to swing the wood around watching in blurred amusement as it cut up their faces, leaving splinters in its wake. “IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?!”

Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t believe that this is the third time we’re going to arrest him, like just give up already! With me not paying attention, a fist came crashing straight into my nose jerking my head back before something hard and hollow came in contact with the back. My vision and senses were disoriented, but I didn’t back down not wanting to lose to some thug. I fought the best I could in my condition and it wasn’t until the second and third wave of officers came in finally gathering everyone up.

“Hanbin? Are you okay?” My neck felt loose as I staggered around trying to find myself again. “Team Leader! We need to rush him to the hospital!”

“N-No, I-I’m fi-,” I was suddenly leaning forward and with gravity being on my side I hit the ground hard before blacking out.

Slowly opening my eyes, the whole world felt like it was shaking and for a second all I could see was a blurred grey before I took notice of S-Seunghoon? He was holding my hand tightly while talking to me but I couldn’t make out anything he was saying, it felt like my ears were clog beyond repair. Closing my eyes, I let the darkness take over once more and when I opened them again, my face was being harshly wiped and the lights were too bright. My head felt as if it had been repeatedly slammed into a brick wall and my memory was foggy leaving me with nothing. Lightly swatting at the hand, it removed itself from my face allowing me to slightly turn my head only to see Jinhwan, who looked as if he saw a ghost.

“Where’s Yunhyeong?” Glancing around the room, the person I wished to see was nowhere to be found leaving me stumped. “He must be with other patients. That’s the only reason he wouldn’t be by my side, right?”

“Oh my – uh, you two broke up, remember?” Shock had flooded me at the momentarily forgotten information, only for it to leave me as the broken memories of a Ferris wheel and his tears filled my mind.

“Oh, sorry.” He lightly slapped my arm telling me that I had nothing to apologize for, which is true, I guess. “Um, what happened? Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital, dummy. How could you go out there and allow yourself to be beat up like this?” Shrugging, my face started to tingle in pain and as I touched around my nose it only got worse. “They broke your nose and you have to get five stitches in the back of your head. I’m just glad that you didn’t have any brain swelling or internal bleeding.”

Humming, I had nothing to really say already sure that the others were getting their seven chuckles in at my pain. I should have been paying better attention, then I wouldn’t be here. A heavy sigh left my lips as I stared at the ceiling listening to the door open as the doctor came in saying that I needed to stay for a day to be monitor. Hyung agreed for me leaving no room for argument – which I had none in the first place. Sighing, again, I closed my eyes not wishing to think about the pain I’m in at the moment. I don’t want to think about anything ever again, if I’m being honest.

The few monitoring days that passed were filled with the loud voices of my friends as they worried over nothing all while laughing at me in the end. I didn’t speak for those days as I knew only words of pain would leave my lips. Words that would shut the all of us up.

Tonight, I changed into a fresh pair of clothes that Bobby had brought me ready to leave as I was being discharged. Bobby went to the desk to finish signing me out in place of my parents that had fallen out at the news, but continued to work while worried. Yeah, they were really worried. Sighing, I sat down tying my shoes ignoring the door that slowly slide open thinking that it’s nothing more than Bobby. No words were said as they advanced on me causing me to look up once my foot had hit the grown again. I couldn’t breathe at the fact that he was standing right in front of me with tears in his eyes as he held his hands out.

“W-What happened?” His voice was strained making me smile trying to hide my own tears. “Who did this?”

“Don’t worry, I was being an idiot and got myself hurt.” I told him I never wanted to make him cry again, and here he is standing in front of me crying because of my idiotic ways. “H-How have you been?”

His hands lightly held my head before his arms came out wrapping around it. My face was pressed deeply into his stomach and I used to chance to take in the scent and warmth that I acted like I didn’t miss. I tried so hard to be okay that I actually started to believe it – I really am an idiot. Holding onto him, he shushed me in that comforting manner that he always did and it took everything in me not to break down. I told myself that I’m going to work through this and breaking down wasn’t one of the ways I planned on doing so.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Apologizing for the many things I never got to, he lightly patted my back. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“I know. I know.” Pulling away from me, I allowed him to back up but I still held onto his scrubs not wanting him to run too far away. “S-Stop, Hanbin. Let me g-go.”

“I, now, know the pain you went through the many nights and days that you had to go to bed, or wake up, without me there. The pain of not knowing if someone really loves you or not, and I’m really sorry for treating you the way I did. I’m sorry for breaking your heart…for breaking up with you like I did.” Saying my peace, I let him go wiping at my nose and eyes as I told myself so many times that I wasn’t going to cry anymore.

I’m not even drunk, so why am I crying?

“Sorry, but I have to get back to the ER.” Using the excuse, I’ve heard many of times, he ran out leaving me to stare at the tiled floors trying to figure myself out.

“You should have held on tighter, idiot.” Rolling my head around, I shook it a few times trying to tell myself that letting him go was the right thing to do, even though it clearly wasn’t.

“Are you ready to go?” Nodding, I stood grabbing my wallet and phone off of the table before heading towards where Bobby stood in the doorway. “I saw Yunhyeong on my way up here. He looked as if he was crying.”

Shrugging, I put back on my act of not caring as that’s what he has become used to in this last month. They gave me time off with the use being to recover, so that’s what I planned to do – nothing but recover. Recover from this sudden heartache and my injuries. Dropping me off at home, I took notice of my car that had been nicely returned to its spot, and patting the back of it I made my way inside. Pressing in the code that I hadn’t changed, I entered the quiet and dark apartment without as much as a word. Hanging my keys and coat on their respective hooks, I left my shoes in front of the door with the other pairs that didn’t belong to me and heading deep inside I went straight into the bedroom. That was the only light I turned on as I saw my appearance in the mirror for the first time in a few days. I looked like shit, and that’s that.

The gauze on the back of my head was being held with a band that wrapped around my head being held in place with a metal clasp. My nose was a dark purple and blue as I was being held together with another gauze and some tape. The dark circles under my eyes were crazy and I had a cut on my lip from when I fell before blacking out. There were other scraps here and there from me fighting but nothing was as bad as my face which meant that this is going to be a longer “vacation” than I originally thought.

My phone started to ring, so pressing it to my ear, I waited for a voice to say something.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you that Jinhwan said that he’d be by after work to bring you something to eat.” Grunting, I hung up as he had quickly gotten to the point without any other formalities.

Turning back off the light, I didn’t bother changing as he had brought something comfortable for me to wear, and laying down I turned facing my back towards the door. His silhouette that I could usually make out slowly started to disappear as I stared at the spot where he normally laid. It’s been four months and the feelings of love that I hold for him don’t seem to be going anywhere – they were right where they’ve always been.

“I should have at least told him that I still love him.” Closing my eyes, I knew there was no reason for me to dwell on these feelings that are sure to fade just like his silhouette is doing – slowly, but surely.

I miss him so much, but I keep using these excuses to tell myself that it isn’t it – that I don’t miss him as much as I think I do. That I’m still hung up on our youthful love.


	31. Long Time No See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ah Ah Long time no see, Ah Ah Long time no see..." -IKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me so long to write this. Why? I kept getting sidetracked, but it's here at last. I probably could have done better but eh, enjoy.

Smoothing down my hair for the nth time, I turned to look at the one who’s more nervous than I am. It’s his big day, so of course he’d be nervous, but he’s sweating more than usual. Grabbing his suit, I pulled on it to straighten it out causing him to finally give me a smile as I stood in front of him. Giving him a small one back, I harshly patted his shoulder making him jump around while hyping himself up.

“I never seen a person handsomer than myself, but here he is.” We both laughed at my words completely ignoring the door that creaked open.

“Bobby, it’s time.” Turning, the coordinator stood in the doorway with a wide smile mimicking our own.

Ushering him along, we walked side-by-side out into the empty hallway that only held us and the coordinator whose heels clacked loudly against the floors. Bobby isn’t really the clingy type, or touchy type, so when he grabbed my hand holding it tightly I understood how he was feeling. This is a first that can be experienced many times, but this feeling will only be here for this one time – this nervousness that shows how much he loves the other. Squeezing his hand in reassurance, he thanked me for being his best friend even though I was an asshole most of the time – the same could be said for him.

He suddenly froze causing me to stop walking only to see that he was looking at the other who was supposed to be hidden for a few seconds more. They saw each other when the guest photos were being taken, but this is different. Letting his hand go, I pulled him into a hug whispering in his ear that he’s got this and once he had taken a deep breath I had pulled away. Encouraging him one last time, I left him to go enter the venue so that I wouldn’t miss the ceremony. Finding a spot against the wall, the lights had dimmed and the aisle had lit up causing the purple lights around the room to glow nicely in the white room.

“Now introducing the groom, Kim Jiwon!” The doors at the end of the aisle slowly opened revealing the one who I had just left a few seconds ago.

Pushing aside his nervousness, he walked down the aisle waving with gloved hands and his normal cool smile. As the guest clapped so did I trying to push away the sad thoughts that weren’t meant for this joyous day. The door closed again before he took his spot at the head of the stage looking around, and when our eyes met I gave him a thumbs up. Music had started to play – it sounded as if there was an orchestra in the room – causing the host to clear his throat, again.

“Now introducing the other groom, Kim Donghyuk!” The doors opened again, but this time it felt totally different.

Donghyuk’s white suit and bright smile seemed to blind everyone as he walked down the aisle only looking at the one he had fell in love with. It wasn’t hard to miss the way how Bobby melted a little at the sight. Once they joined hands, they turned towards the officiant who held a similar smile to everyone else in the room. Crossing my arms, I listened intensely to vows of eternal love that they made and I couldn’t stop the tears that ran down my face nor did I wipe them. My best friend just got hitched, and I’m glad he chose the right person to get hitched too.

Turning towards us they bowed causing an uproar of clapping and whoops to fill the room. The host announced that there was a special guest and the room seemed to lose their marbles as a celebrity had come to wish the couple a happy life with a song. My tears flowed harder at the happy song which ruined the bandage that’s holding my nose together. It healed enough for me to go back to work, but it was still a nasty color as the bruising had only now started to really fade after two months. Taking a deep breath, I made my way over to Jinhwan and Junhoe as we shared a table together and they were staring to look lonely – no, I looked lonely.  

“Where have you been?” It was whispered causing me to shrug as I took a napkin wiping my face. “I can’t believe he grew up on us like this. It felt like last week when he was doing bike tricks at the skate park – oh wait, that was last week.”

Chuckling at his words, I noticed that Junhoe was staring at me, so looking back he gave me this questioning look. I got the meaning behind his look easily but I brushed it off not wanting to go down that lane again. I’ve already gone through it in my head many times leading up to now. Once the song was over, they both walked off the stage holding hands as they started to greet and thank people for coming, along with the celebrity.

“Yunhyeong, where have you been?” Glancing up from my snot tissue, I saw that he was dressed fancy and that there was someone else with him… “Oh, it’s nice to meet you again, Wonshik.”

“We were talking with Donghyuk’s parents and lose track of time, but we quickly rushed over here. Oh, this is my roommate Wonshik, he’s also close with Donghyuk which I didn’t know.” Staring this guy over, it took everything in me to act as if I didn’t care.

“Yeah, I went to play with him a lot before I went off to college.” So, he’s a college guy? Isn’t that nice – no it isn’t. “I should introduce myself, I guess. Um, I’m Wonshik I work with Yunhyeong at the hospital, it’s nice to meet you all.”

Picking up my glass, I took a long drawn out slurp hoping he’d get the message to leave, but sadly he didn’t. Instead he kept talking with Jinhwan and Junhoe as if I wasn’t at the table at all. Rude, but I’ll let it go this time. Bobby and Donghyuk finally made their way over to us causing me to stand and high-five the other for doing such a good job despite being nervous. Hugging Donghyuk, he thanked me for looking out for Bobby which had me hugging him even tighter.

“Yunhyeong and Wonshik? How do you two know each other?” They went through the whole thing again which had the younger excited for no real reason. “That’s great! It seems we all know each other, right?”

“Hey, are you okay?” He bumped shoulders with me but I shrugged completely ignoring it as I had no reason not to be.

“You two seem to be more than roommates – it’s the air around you.” They both became shy making my stomach knot up and I just can’t take it anymore.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Leaving the table, I pushed my way through family and friends with a mumbled excuse me that had them nodding.

Once out in the hallway, I glanced around for the bathroom and finding it I threw open the door finding myself a stall to sit in. Locking the door, I took a few deep breaths pushing my hair back into place, even though it never moved. I keep telling myself that he can do whatever and that it’s his life, but it hurts so much. He found someone else, so that must mean he doesn’t care about me anymore, right? That’s the only logical answer for this. Why am I beating myself up over this? Because I still love him. It’s been 6 months and I haven’t gotten over these feelings for him. I must be an idiot to think he’d wait for me when I couldn’t even wait for myself. 

Leaning my head against the wall, I took my phone out from my pocket looking at the lock screen I still haven’t changed. I guess now is better than never. Going to the default photos, I selected one that didn’t remind me of an old memory and setting it as both my home and lock screen, I let go of a breath I was holding. At least my gallery is still full of him. When did I become so lame? Why am I so stuck on him? All the one-night stands and late nights but he’s still on my mind. It makes sense seeing as how 4 years can’t be erased in 6 months, but what doesn’t make sense is why my feelings are still so strong?

“H-Hanbin?” Jumping, I almost fell off the toilet seat not expecting his voice to appear so suddenly. “Are you okay? Is it your nose?”

“N-No, just using the bathroom.” Laughing, I flushed not thinking much about it, and standing I opened the door to see him leant against the skin. “Hello, it’s been a while.”

“It has. Your nose seems to be doing better.” Nodding, he moved over so that I could wash my hands. “Are you really okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Drying my hands, I balled up the paper towel tossing it into the little hole that leads to the garbage can underneath.

“Fine, Hanbin, don’t tell me. But you said you wanted to be friends right, well let’s be friends, okay?” Holding out his hand, my eyes stared at it for a long time wondering if should slap it away and tell him that I still love him.

Sadly, I didn’t as I’m a big fat coward. Taking it in my own, I gave it a firm shake pulling my hand away once it was over so that it dangled by my waist. The smile on my face was tighter than needed, but he didn’t seem to mind all that much. Patting me on my shoulder, he left the bathroom leaving me to stare at the door that swung open and closed. Soon, Bobby came in looking confused and it took everything in me not to break down and cry on the bathroom floor. This is one of his happiest days and I’m not going to ruin it for him.

Turning him around, I pushed him out the door and back to the party. It’ll be their first dance soon and he shouldn’t be in the bathroom talking with me during it. Making it back into the festivities, he went to Donghyuk while I went to the alcohol ready to babysit the table for the rest of the event. When it came down to their dance, I held a smile while watching Bobby mess up the dance while Donghyuk tried to keep to it only to give up in the end. It was cute. Once their dance was over the floor soon opened up to everyone and as the many pairs danced I swallowed my third drink.

They danced together, close and bashfully, which had the knot in my stomach growing even bigger. He looked so happy that I couldn’t help the jealous feeling that crept up inside of me. I wonder if he looked that happy with me? Probably. Don’t do this stuff to yourself, idiot! You brought this upon yourself, so deal with the outcome.

Filling my glass, again, it overflowed but I threw it all back not caring that it made my nose hurt from how heavy I was breathing or that I was ruining my tux. Good thing, I rode with Bobby or else I would be spending a lot of money on a driver. By the end of the night, I was drunk off my ass as I hung from Jinhwan crying about how Bobby was now married and he isn’t fun anymore. They laughed loudly at me before the happy couple left to prepare for their typical tropical honeymoon leaving only a handful of us. Chanwoo and Jaewon, who I forgot where here, left with the pretense that they were going on a date, so now it was only five of us.

“Come on, Hanbin. Let’s go home.” Nodding, I couldn’t help the frown that came onto my face as Junhoe and Jinhwan helped me walk outside. “Bye, Yunhyeong and Wonshik.”

“Be careful, especially Hanbin.” Biting my lip, I quickly climbed into the backseat once the door opened not responding to his concern.

“What’s wrong with you?” I was having trouble buckling myself in, so giving up I laid down staring at the roof.

“I lost.” Jinhwan kept pressing but I turned my back on him already knowing what he’d say.

Dropping me off, I got out staggering my way into the building and once inside I leaned against the door pressing in the code. Even though it opened I didn’t go inside causing it to lock again making me put in the code over and over again, until I finally opened it. Slipping off my dress shoes, I fell but that didn’t stop me as I crawled my way into the bedroom closing the door behind me with my bare foot. Going towards where I stuffed all his clothes, I pulled out the first thing I saw and smashing it onto my face I breathed in his scent while leaning back. The moment my back hit the ground the tears from earlier flowed freely as I was now in a space that no one would judge me in.

My phone rang and digging through my pockets, I slapped it onto my ear not thinking much about see who it actually is. I don’t want to look anyway because then I’ll have to remove his scent and I need it so much right now.

“What?” The line was silent for a second causing me to pull it away from my ear ready to hang up.

“Is that anyway to greet someone who called to check on you?” Slowly bringing it back, I swallowed the lump in my throat not thinking that he’d actually call me. “Um, when’s your next appointment? For your nose.”

“W-Why are you calling me?” My voice which was already shaky shook even more at his deep breath.

“I can’t call my friend? Also, you were being held up by two people, so I just wanted to be sure you got home safe and not dropped off on the side of the road.” Ah, yeah, I forgot we’re friends now.

“No, you can call as much as you want and it’s in a few days, my appointment that is.” He hummed moving around as it sounded like he was already in bed. “Uh, what are you doing?”

“Trying to get comfortable. The venue wasn’t far from our place, so we got back quickly and after a shower and all that I’m tired in spite of my good mood.” He called me right before going to bed – don’t think too much on it. 

“Y-Yunhyeong as your friend, I support you on anything okay? Anything at all, so continue being happy, okay?” Hiding my sniffle by pulling away the phone, I already could make out the face he was making. “Good night, friend.”

“Good night, Han-friend.” Hanging up, the phone laid next to me as I cried hard into his shirt.

We’re friends now. Nothing more, nothing less. My hope had seemed to come true, sadly.


	32. Loser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In the mirror, you're just a loser, loner, a jackass covered in scars, dirty trash..." - BIGBANG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Seungri's scene.

“What are you getting?” Staring at the menu, I looked it over intensely hoping my stomach would make up its mind. “It’s not that hard of a decision, Rookie.”

“Shut up, Seunghoon.” Stepping up to the counter, I ordered me a different sub from the one he had recommended me when we had left. “All vegetables.”

The girl who took our order nodding giving us both wide smiles that had Seunghoon bumping into me. I swear, he thinks that everyone who smiles at me is flirting with me. I should have never given in and became friends with someone as weird as him. Once our food was done, we walked out eating them talking about the case we had just finished. They spent half of it making fun of my nose that’s now fully healed, but I didn’t mind all that much as it gave me a good laugh.

“Watch where you’re going or else you’re going to end up with another fucked up nose.” Pushing him away, he laughed causing food to fall out of his mouth – disgusting. “Oh, we’re going drinking later tonight, you should come.”

“Mhm, thanks but -,” Cutting me off, he whined making these childish sounds that had me plugging my ears. “Fine, I’ll go! Just don’t get me too drunk.”

“Don’t worry, Team Leader’s the regulator this time.” We both groaned entering the precinct again, ready to be worked once our lunch break is up.

Laughing, we both took our seats trying to defend our food from Rome and Jongsuk, who haven’t gone on their break yet. After lunch, we got called out for a robbery, so rushing out we discussed dinner as if we didn’t just have lunch. The obvious answer was meat as it went well with Soju – as did other drinks, but that’s beside the point right now – Team Leader even agreed to pay for it. That’s really the only good thing about this.

Arriving at the scene, our team split up causing half to go inside while the other half went to go look for the perp – I just so happened to be a part of the running half. Flying around corners, we came to a two-way which had me running in one direction by myself while the other two went the other way. Coming to a dead-end, I leaned against the wall catching my breath trying to make my vision focus again. This rustling sound had my head turning in its direction and at the speed of light a body shot out from behind one of the homes heading from where I came. Chasing after them, I screamed at them to stop but that only made them speed up. Minwoo and Rome soon met me at where we had parted joining in on my pursuit of one of the world’s dumbest criminals. If he had just stayed quiet, then I would have left without ever knowing that they were there.

“Gotcha!” Rome jumped ahead of me landing on top of the other who face planted into the concrete road.

“Did you really have to jump on him like that?” Slowing down, I jogged towards where they laid tangled up in one another.

“Gotta work for our dinner, remember?” Minwoo and I both scoffed as he handed the other his handcuffs to use. “Now care to explain what’s in the bag?”

Minwoo took it, ripping it open to reveal a bunch of things that don’t look like they belonged to him. I’m sure he doesn’t wear pink lacy thongs and dangly diamond earrings – unless, he does then power to him but in this situation it’s a no. He immediately started stuttering with the lie that it belongs to his girlfriend’s little sister, which was a telling lie if anything. Shaking our heads, Rome picked him up taking him with us towards the crime of the scene.

When we made it the victim quickly identified all the items as her own with a furious blush on her face at the fact that we had all seen her undergarments. I tried to calm her down with nice words that had her blushing for a whole different reason – do I really have game like this? Apologizing for the few things that broke when Rome mauled the other, she said it was fine before running back inside.

“When did you become such a player, Bin?” Gagging at the unauthorized use of my nickname, he continued to tease me as we got in the van sandwiching the perp. “Give me some tips, come on, you don’t even use them all!”

“It’s called being a genuinely nice person, which you know nothing about.” He finally shut up with a deep frown on his face that had Minwoo slapping his head.

“Ow! What was that for?” The two started to bicker causing me to sigh along with the perp who instantly regretted his actions to steal. “I’m tired of you abusing me; I’m pressing charges as soon as we get back.”

“The both of you, shut up.” Jongsuk look up from his report with a glare that had the two sitting correctly in their seats.

Making it back to the precinct, he got booked and thrown into a cell to wait on his long process of the court system. Going back to our area, we all sat down heaving heavy sighs at the workout three out of the six of us had gotten. Leaning on the palm of my hand, my phone had gone off, so pulling it from my pocket I got used to see Yunhyeong’s name written plainly across my screen. It still hurt but I’m managing quite well at the moment which is better than nothing. Replying to his text that was nothing more than friendly, I sighed again tossing my phone onto my desk. The rest of the afternoon ended up being spent with us lounging around waiting on another call that never came. It must be a rest day for criminals.

Packing up, we decided to meet up at this restaurant that was a little far but it wasn’t anything anyone would complain about. Getting in the car, I drove to a gas station as I needed it before heading back out to catch up with the others. Seunghoon and Minwoo rode together, as did Rome and Jongsuk, it seemed that only Team Leader and I rolled by ourselves. I arrived after the others, which wasn’t much of a surprise, but I did have to park farther away from the restaurant than they did. Getting out, I locked it starting my walk towards were my headache would begin.

“Did you get pulled over or something? What took you so long?” Rolling my eyes, I pulled out a chair sitting next to the one questioning me, Seunghoon.

“I had to get gas, asshole.” Team Leader stopped any further bickering by ordering the food that would soon have our mouths watering.

“Oh, I have an announcement to make!” We all turned towards Rome and a very nervous looking Jongsuk whose hair fell into his eyes. “Jongsuk and I are dating!”

Choking on my water, I coughed harshly causing Seunghoon to hit my back telling me to breathe. When I had regained myself it was still silent so I decided to speak up first.

“I would have never saw it coming but congratulations. How long has it been?” Rome’s smile got even bigger at the approval he knew was guaranteed.

“Almost a year.” My mouth had dropped at Jongsuk’s answer because that meant they started a few months after I arrived.

“What?! Almost a year! I think I’m having a heart attack.” Slapping Seunghoon’s arm, he cut the dramatics after hearing the scattered laughter. “Well, I have an announcement to make too.”

Slamming his fist on the table, it jumped as he stood looking as if what he was about to say would change the world.

“Me and Seungyoon are dating!” Team Leader’s foot came out kicking the other telling him to sit back down.

“We already know you’re dating the receptionist, idiot. You’ve have been for the past two years.” Minwoo clutched his chest probably thinking that it was something bad.

After the chaos, our food had come and I was automatically put on grilling duties. Sighing, I flipped the meat, cutting it up into smaller pieces and moving it away from the flame so that it wouldn’t burn. Seunghoon being the fake that he is kept placing pieces of meat by my mouth only to take it away and eat himself right before I closed my mouth – asshole, you don’t play with food! Minwoo, being the only one on my side, made me wraps that had me giving him a thankful smile.

“Can you take over? I need to take this call.” Handing the tongs and scissors to Minwoo, I rushed out clutching my vibrating phone as I entered the cool winter air that wasn’t even all that cold. “What’s up, Bobby?”

“Nothing much, I just wanted to see how Seoul’s been.” Snorting, I couldn’t help but feel the warmth from inside slowly leaving me.

“Well, global warming is a bitch if that’s what you’re asking. It’s supposed to be winter but I haven’t seen one drop of snow or any really cold weather.” He laughed at me from the warm place his work had taken him for a few weeks.

“I can’t wait to experience it when I get back.” Bullshit – that’s the only language he knows how to speak in. “Oh, I talked to Donghyuk earlier and he said that Hyung’s been worried about you.”

“He’s always worried which is the reasons he’s getting wrinkles at such a young age. I told him I’m doing great but he just won’t believe me.” Glancing around, I saw a familiar figure getting ready to cross the street which had me not thinking, again. “Hey, I’m going to call you back, okay?”

“What are you on a date or something?” Whatever-ing him, I hung up dialing the number I had just texted earlier.

He didn’t answer the first time causing me to call again. My feet dragged me on their own as I walked at a similar pace opposite to him taking in how tightly he held the others hand. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he checked the caller I.D before stuffing it back into his pocket as if I had never called. Stopping, I bit my lip not believing what had just happened but as he continued walking snuggling up to the other it wasn’t that hard to not believe. Kicking a set of boxes, I stopped myself from screaming by turning and heading back to the restaurant that I strayed too far from.

Making it back, they questioned me about the long “phone call” that was so important for me to risk burning the meat. Ignoring them, I poured everyone a drink wishing to rid myself of the bitter taste that seemed to stick in the back of my throat. We aren’t together so I shouldn’t feel this way, but with my feelings still being their it became hard to accept. Throwing it back, I groaned harshly smacking my lips at the burn that shook me to my core. I’ll probably have to call a driver.

My prediction was right because at the end of the night I, along with everyone else, was drunk off my ass laughing at things that weren’t even funny. Team Leader who had quietly been sipping on his second shot shook his head before standing to go pay for the meal. Thanking him, I smiled widely digging through my pockets for my phone to call a driver – I don’t even know the number to be honest. Pressing whichever, I sluggishly asked for a driver giving them the address and description of my car before hanging up. Standing, I stumbled around before catching myself as I slide past a very drunk and clingy Seunghoon who was hanging off of Minwoo like his life depended on it.

Heading out into the air that had gotten cold out of nowhere, I hugged myself swaying in the wind as I headed towards my car to wait on the driver. Climbing into the passenger seat, I tried to buckle myself in but it just kept moving and wouldn’t stay still making me give up. Dropping the seat, my arms naturally found themselves blocking my face trying not to fall asleep or say something stupid. I think an hour had passed before a knock at the window had waving the person inside, presenting them with the key to start the car. For a minute they didn’t say anything, just climbing inside before lowly asking for the address. Rumbling it off, they started the car pulling out of the spot not saying anything else which was fine with me as it meant no unneeded conversation.

Drifting off to sleep, I was awakened by a gentle but rough hand that reminded me a lot of the past. Swallowing all my words, I sat up with a groan digging into my wallet for money and handing it to the other, I took my car key back making my way inside. The sound of feet dragging behind me filled my ears, although I did ignore it in favor of leaning against the elevator waiting for it to come down. Once it did, I stepped inside pressing my floor along with a few others on accident. My body felt unusually heavy and soon I was crashing down to the floor as my legs had given out all of a sudden.

“A-Are you okay?” Nodding, a few tears slipped past at my uselessness – I can’t even stand on my own.

Holding onto the rail, I stood myself up not wanting to embarrass myself even more in front of my neighbor. Is it even my neighbor? Whatever, it doesn’t even matter right now. When my floor came, I stumbled out heading straight towards my door and pressing in the code the door didn’t want to open.

“Stupid door! Open the fuck up!” Kicking it, a hand came out lightly pushing me aside as it pressed in the code and opening the door. “Thanks.”

Taking off my shoes, I went into the bedroom stripping myself of the clothes I wore all day before climbing into bed. The fact that a stranger had just opened my door for me clearly not present on my mind as I instantly fell asleep. Seems the alcohol knew what it was doing.

When morning came, my headache wasn’t all that bad but the hangover pain was definitely there. Rolling out of bed, I expected my feet to meet the clothes I had thrown on the ground last night instead I met the hard floor underneath. Opening my eyes, the apartment that I had allowed to get messy over time had magically been cleaned and by the noise in the kitchen it could only be one person. Swallowing my spit in hopes to stop myself from throwing up, I stood heading out into the brightly lit hallway running right into Hyung.

“Did you clean?” My voice was groggy and sounded like shit, but he was used to it by now.

“No, it was clean when I came in this morning. I thought you did it.” Shaking my head, I tilted it trying to remember who took me home last night – I honestly have no idea. “It’s a good thing that today is your day off or else you would have been fucked.”

“And why aren’t you at work?” Heading into the bathroom, he lightly hummed following behind me.

“My day off. Also, you weren’t answering my calls, so I thought you died or something.” I wanted to laugh, but everything hurt so I opted not to. “I made brunch it’s in the microwave. I needed to get home to help June put together some furniture he thought would be a good money saver to build himself.”

“Mhm, thanks.” With him leaving, I was now alone to stare at myself in the mirror. “What the hell is going on, Hanbin?”

Running my fingers through my hair, the appearance of me was honestly lamer than I expected it to be. The dark circles, puffy skin, and moist lips from my constantly licking them had shown me my true form. A loser. Sighing, I turned on the water splashing it on my face to rid me of yesterday’s worries and problems. Today is obviously going to be different from yesterday, I just need to find out who cleaned my apartment for me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think cleaned the apartment?


	33. Don't Forget Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't forget us, Don't forget me, Everything about me..." - IKON

My feet dragged me towards my destination for a meet-up that I regretted agreeing to. Today, everyone, including Yunhyeong and Wonshik, decided to hang out for old times’ sake before we enter the busy season. Well, I've been busy all year, so I don’t really have any season when I'm not busy. Maybe I should go on a trip – Yunhyeong was trying to get me to go with him to Jeju, again, for the longest time but I've been extremely busy. I'm always busy, sadly. 

Entering the building, I was immediately bombarded with tight hugs from only one person. A smile came onto my face as I hugged him back taking in the tan that he had gotten from his trip. Donghyuk stood next to him, a smile also on his face, as he waved at me showing off the ring that shined brighter than his newly dyed blonde hair. He's surely going to go bald earlier if he keeps dying his hair like this. 

“How have you been, buddy?” Pulling away, I kept my smile not really knowing what to say - I guess, I'll go the usual route. 

“Fine. How about you two? You must be enjoying the married life.” They both nodded pulling me towards where the others were already seated. 

“Obviously, I can’t wait until you get married, Bin.” Nodding, I agreed even though the lump that formed in my throat stopped my breathing for a few seconds. “Do you want to bowl with Chanwoo, Jaewon, and Junhoe? They need an extra player.”

“Sure, I'll head right over there.” Departing from the original path, I jogged my way over to the three who seemed to be having the time of their lives. “What’s up, losers?!”

“Hanbin Hyung!” They stopped their game for a minute to greet me with enthusiastic high-fives. “You’re on my team, Hyung. They've been taunting and teasing me since the beginning.” 

Checking the scoreboard, I took in how far behind Chanwoo is compared to the other two who were getting strikes left and right. Agreeing, we started the game over to make it far causing the other two to whine, even though they were the ones resetting everything. Scanning through the balls, I found one I liked and making my way back to the three I couldn’t help but notice how cozy all of them looked – well, except for Hyung, who was staring at where we’d play. Whatever, that has nothing to do with me - I'm just a friend. 

“Hyung, it’s your turn.” Zoning back in, I stepped back a little bit before doing a light run up to the line and letting it go. 

We had gotten our first strike causing Chanwoo to pick me up, spinning me around before saying that I'm heavy and need to lose weight – asshole. After playing the first game, Chanbin team won which had the other two calling for a re-match, and after they won that one, we needed a tie-breaker. We were going to play another game, but the rest of our group was calling us over so that we could order food and eat, so we did a quick game of rock-paper-scissor. Chanbin won once more making the other two grumbles, before we went over as they now had to pay for our food. 

“The game seemed intense.” The four of us laughed while scooting into our seats. “Who won?”

“TEAM CHANBIN!” Chanwoo and I screamed, beating on the table, before bumping chest with each other as if this was a football game. 

“Birds of a feather, really.” Winking at Hyung, he gagged before going around the table wondering what everyone was getting only for us to all uproar about pizza. “I guess, we’ll be getting pizza.” 

Turning from Hyung, I went into a conversation with the married couple trying to not look in the direction of the other couple. It was clear that they figured I was avoiding them, but they didn’t make a big deal of it - I wished they would. My feelings for the other have been shoved deep within and it’s clear that they aren’t going to come back up as long as he’s with him. I always knew he could choose someone better than me, but a hot doctor was never a possibility. Our break-up wasn’t a possibility until it was, so I can’t really keep dipping into my high school mindset trying to find alternatives to my feelings. 

“Hanbin?” Finally, I turned giving the one who called my name, my attention. “Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering how that guy you brought in was doing?”

“Uh, once you bandaged him up, he got thrown in a cell as the victim gave us his statement. After that he was booked and transported, sorry, I don’t know – or care – about his current condition.” He nodded laughing awkwardly at how I brushed off another’s health – he shouldn’t have been trying to jump across moving cars. 

“Oh, well thanks.” A single nod ended our conversation on my end as I went back to my earlier conversation. 

“What was that?” Jinhwan whispered it right into my ear making me jump back a little. 

“What was what? He asked a question and I answered it, what more do you want from me?” Rolling his eyes, he started up a conversation with the two who I was avoiding - I just don’t want to see him happy with someone who isn’t me.  

That was the last time we spoke until the pizzas began to get piled onto the table, we had all sat comfortably around. Grabbing myself a few slices, our hands accidently brushed but I ignored the warm feeling instead opting to back away from the piece that I had wanted. Eating what was already on my plate, I laughed and joked around with Chanwoo and Jaewon. Now that I look at it, they look alike – that must be why it hurts whenever I talk with him. 

“After this, do you guys want to go out for a drink?” I was the first one to decline as I thought about the drinks that I've been downing since the beginning of the week. “Hmm, weird. Hanbin doesn’t want to go drinking? Hmm, are you ill?” 

“No. My face finally fully healed up and I'm not getting sick or injured anytime soon. I'm on standby for work, so I don’t want to get suspended or fired.” Throwing back the rest of my drink, I stood asking if anyone else wanted a re-fill. 

“I’ll go with you to help.” Hiding my annoyance, I agreed allowing Wonshik to accompany me as he carried a few cups in his own hands. 

We headed towards the machine in silence, both not knowing what to say to each other, or speak up about whatever is bothering them. Honestly, my only problem is that he’s with the person I love, so any other problems he has are on him. Reciting their drinks as if it was a mantra, I started to fill up the cups, sipping off of Bobby and Jinhwan’s cups only to refill them a second later. 

“Hanbin?” Swallowing what was in my mouth, I glanced at him before going back to what I was doing. “Do you not like me? I mean, I know I'm dating Yunhyeong, now, but I really want to be friends with you.” 

A heavy sigh left my lips as I moved the cups to the side allowing him to fill the ones in his hands. 

“Would you like it if I dated your ex, then suddenly came into your friend group?” His face fell making him shake his head, my smile becoming tighter. “Just take care of him for me, okay?”

Walking away, there were more words swirling around the tip of my tongue but I swallowed them all for a now relaxed smile. Sitting the cups down, I took my seat slurping loudly on my own drink trying to not meet the eyes that were staring at me intensely. He clearly has something he wants to say, and I already have a feeling that it’s about his lover, which I don’t want to listen to at all. We spoke and that was all. 

“Hanbin? Your phone is ringing?” Pulling it out of my pocket, I saw the name of Seunghoon as it glared harshly on my screen. “Aren’t you going to answer it?”

“No, he’s been trying to set me up on a date with his friend for the past few days and I'm not taking the bait.” They laughed at my words, all except one. “Wait, look at a photo, then tell me if I should or shouldn’t?” 

The friend was nowhere near my type, but he did have a nice figure and that’s all that really matters, right? They crowded around my phone going back and forth with each other on if I should or shouldn’t, only to come to the conclusion that I should. I needed to get out more, is what Hyung had said – yeah, whatever. 

Calling Seunghoon back, I told him that I'll do it which had him screaming for joy, loudly, in my ear. Once he calmed down, he said that they were heading out for drinks in like an hour and that I should join them. Agreeing, I stood prepared to head out for this “date” that’ll be no more than a hookup by the end of the night. I don’t date as I don’t plan on catching feelings for anyone else any time soon. Bidding the group goodbye, I made my way outside only for my arm to be gripped tightly making me look over to see Yunhyeong. 

“Aye, let up, a little.” Whispering as to not catch the attention of those passing by, he pushed me up against the side of a building, a groan falling from his lips. “Do you need something, friend?”

It hurt to call him friend, but I swallowed it having trained my mind to not be sad afterwards. 

“What’s your problem?” His voice was softer than I expected it to be making him look sadder more than anything.  “If you didn’t want to come or be around me, then you should have just said so!”

“Huh? I-I never said I didn’t want to be around you, Yunhyeong. We're friends, remember?” Flashing him a quick smile, my phone had gone off as I scanned over the text telling me that they arrived early. “Sorry, but I -.”

“D-Don’t forget m-to call everyone once you make it home. We care about your safety, Hanbin.” And with that he had gone back inside leaving me to stare at where he just stood. 

He almost told me not to forget him – what a selfish thing to say in this situation, but it isn’t like I can even if I wanted to. We were young and had gone through a lot, so the memories of us loving each other remained routed deep within me. Some things I don’t want to remember, but I do, making our memories unforgettable. He was my first relationship, my first love at first sight, my first time, and my real first kiss (more than just a peck). I couldn’t forget him, even if I tried, which will never happen.  

“Ah, Song Yunhyeong, you’re really something else.” Chuckling under my breath, I got in my car driving to the bar we’re supposed to meet at. 

Making my way inside, I came upon Seunghoon, Seungyoon, and the friend whose name wouldn’t matter tomorrow.  Greeting them, I sat down looking the other over with a ‘not bad’ look on my face as his lower half was filled out exceptionally well. His hand came out to take my own and once we shook, I gave him a nice smile making a blush come onto his face. I'm definitely getting lucky tonight. 

We drunk until everyone was hanging over each other, and as the one whose name is Joon – doesn't really matter, hand came crashing down on the upper part of my thigh I stood taking him with me. Pushing him into the backseat of my car, my mind clouded and the face transformed to be the one who told me something so absurd. It soon changed back making me laugh as I continued to strip him thinking of things that I shouldn’t - things that always come up during times like this. 

_Don’t forget me either, idiot._


	34. Love Me Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "As I look at you who is calling me a good friend, I tried to hold it in but I need to tell you something...Could you love me again?" - G.Soul

The fact that people say that time heals anything is absolute bullshit, because here I am, a year to the day I broke up with him, still in love. My feelings should have long fled by now, but it seems that no matter who I try to love or date, he’s still number one in my heart. He's number one in every fucking thing that I do, and I don’t hate it. Sadly, he’s still very much involved with Wonshik. It's like every time I turn around, they’re looking happier and happier. Can he fuck up already, so that I can swoop in and get him back? Why the hell is he so perfect? It must be payback for all the fucking up I did in those four years that we spent together. 

I mean, being good friends isn’t all that bad, but I’m already tired of being his friend. I want to be his boyfriend again. I miss holding him in my arms, kissing him, and doing other things that only we can truly appreciate. Instead all we do is talk about the fucking weather and hangout in large groups to drink and eat. I'm tired of hangout out - I want to be alone with him, and not as friends. So, being the genius that I am, I invited him over for drinks, alone. Just the two of us. 

“Do you think this is really a good idea?” Rolling my eyes, I moved around the kitchen making sure I had enough drinks and snacks. “You’re trying to take advantage of him, right?”

“Jin, what the hell are you on? I would never force him or take advantage of him. I'd probably jump off a bridge before I ever do anything to seriously hurt him.” He sighed and I couldn’t help but wonder if I'm some sort of super villain or something. “It’s just drinking, Hyung, so calm down.” 

“How can I when you’ve grown balls and have been flirting with him whenever Wonshik isn’t around?” Smacking my lips, I ripped open the last pack of snacks sitting it down on a plate. “Don’t smack your lips! You know what you do.”

“I’m not flirting with him, at all.” Well, maybe a little bit, but I'm not overstepping any boundaries. “I respect his relationship with Wonshik, no matter how much it’s killing me on the inside. Now, can we get off the topic of me and him, and talk about you and June.”

“What about June and I?” Sitting the plate on the coffee table, I coughed a little as he started rambling about things that aren’t important.

“I mean, the proposal. You two have been together for 3 years, and he thankfully asked you to marry him.” The doorbell rang making me sigh in relief as it saved me from his yelling about me being thankful for an obvious thing. “Well, he’s here. Bye Hyung!”

Hanging up, I sat my phone on the table before rushing towards the door like a dog awaiting its owner would. He does own my heart, although his isn’t mine right in this moment. Hopefully that’ll change in the near future. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door only to be met with his smiling face as he held a bag filled with even more alcohol; and here I am worrying over him being thrown off by coming back here. I did change a few things around – interior wise – but other than that everything is just how he left it. I don’t want his soul to leave the house too much. 

“You made it.” My smile grew as I looked him over with my eyes to see that he had a new haircut along with new clothes – they look good on him. “Come in. I set up in the living room.” 

“It seems that you finally know how to clean up, I'm glad.” Laughing to hid the slight awkwardness, I sat down motioning for him to take a seat anywhere. “We should put on a movie! This new one just came out. Wonshik and I went to go see it together, and it is so good. I'll put it on, okay?” 

I couldn’t help but become a little stiff at the name that seemed to roll off of his tongue freely. I bet he used to talk about me like this - I mess up everything, don’t I? 

“Sure, I'll start pouring the drinks.” Twisting off the top to the Soju bottle, he stood running to grab the remote from by the TV - I'm barely home so that’s where it resides for now. 

My eyes wandered to his squatted figure causing me to wander how tight his pants are. They hugged him nicely and the fact that they looked ready to burst made my stomach do backflips. No, Hanbin! Pure thoughts – friendly thoughts! Friend-like thoughts. Looking away before he noticed, I filled his glass before my own and once I was done, I sat the bottle down taking my hands back stuffing them in between my legs. He flopped back down a second later with a relieved look on his face as the movie started to play. He’s still cute. 

Throughout the whole movie, my eyes thought it would be great to be preoccupied with his existence that is now in the home that he left. It felt so normal to see him sitting here, drinking and laughing, loudly. I couldn’t help but feel as if we went back in time – it's just like the old days. Also, it’s the first time in weeks since I've smiled for this long of a period of time. I can’t believe how only looking at him and hearing him makes me this happy. It's like something is telling me that we’re meant to be together, which is something I refuse to ignore. 

“Hanbin?” I had turned to look at the screen hoping that he hadn’t caught on, and is calling me out. 

“Hmm?” He poured me another glass with that fond look on his face that always made my heart feel as if it was doing somersaults. “Oh, thanks.”

“You don’t seem to be enjoying the movie, do you not like it?” Shaking my head, I became flustered as he knew my eyes weren’t on the movie he’s enjoying so much. 

“No, I like it.” Swallowing the rest of the alcohol in my mouth, he chuckled a little at me. “My mind is just preoccupied at the moment, but I did catch most of it and it is pretty funny, I can see why you like it so much.” 

“Don’t you think the scene where he flipped off the roof and missed the pool is the funniest part? I keep telling Wonshik that it is, but he adamant on it being the scene where the old lady beats the guy up and steals his car.” Nodding, my face fell a little at the name I, deep down, wished he’d stop staying – we're together right now. 

“Yeah, both parts are pretty funny.” Pouring myself another glass, he continued to talk about the movie I couldn’t care less for. 

We're spending time together but there seems to be no opening for me to ask him about the things I want to know. So far, it’s either casual or Wonshik this and Wonshik that – when is it going to be about Hanbin or us. I sound so fucking conceited but I'm dying to know if he still has feelings for me, or loves me enough to really give me another chance. I want only him, and it’s so hard, that he doesn’t even look my way anymore. His seem to only be on Wonshik – the strong, sexy, kind, and handsome Dr. Wonshik. I hate him for being so perfect! Who the hell raised him? I need to tell them to drop off the face of the earth or take their parenting somewhere else. 

A sigh left my lips unintentionally cutting him off as I turned to watch the movie I missed most of. He stopped talking, words stuck in his throat at my suddenness – he soon returned to the movie as well. 

The night carried on with more movies and light chatter that had the both of us laughing. Time had seemed to finally rewind as he scooted closer to me, head resting on my shoulder while drinking. I wanted to push him away as I do respect his relationship, no matter how much I dislike Wonshik, but liked the feeling of his head on my shoulder. The smile on his face made me smile as well. Soju was long gone, the both of us drinking from beer bottles missing the buzz that the other liquor gave us, but we never complained out loud wishing to enjoy this moment – at least, I am. 

Turning on music, another sigh left my lips at the feelings of nostalgia that is washing over me. I think he feels it, too. With closed eyes he hums along to the song, hands swaying from side-to-side making me chuckle lightly at the sight. Everything about him feels me with warmth, and I miss it greatly. 

“Hanbin, you’re a really good friend, you know.” My laughter stopped at his words making the joy I'm feeling immediately down into nothingness. 

“Ah, yeah, thanks, I guess.” Bringing the bottle to my lips, I gulped it down trying to stop the tears that were coming to my eyes. “Mhm, you’re a g-good friend too.”

“I’m happy we decided to be friends, because if we didn’t then I'd have no one to really talk to about certain things that you understand better than me. I could ask Shik but he wouldn’t understand like you.” At least that’s the only thing wrong with him, but it isn’t even all that bad. “I’m extremely thankful for you.” 

I had nothing to really say, even though the last part made me happy. He's basically putting me second which makes since, but I really want to be first for even more obvious reasons. 

“Oh, that reminds me! So, yesterday Wonshik took me to meet his sister, she was literally the nicest.” I couldn’t breath as he’s basically meeting family now, that means they might get married in the future, and marriage means I'm completely out of the picture.

They'll adopt the three kids we’re supposed to – no! That can’t happen, but I can’t ruin his relationship. I'd hate to make him unhappy, again. Ugh, what do I do? I mean, it could honestly be nothing to worry about, so I should calm down and breath before I die or something. He’ll marry me and me only; and that’s a definite that I'm pretty sure about. Fate wouldn’t tell me to keep my feelings if we wouldn’t. 

“H-How did it go?” The formalities in me roll out not wanting him to know that his words pained me. 

“It went pretty well. I think she really likes me.” Sipping from his bottle, I noticed the light pink that had now blushed his cheeks – he's almost there. “I might meet his parents in like a month or so.”

“Has he met yours?” Giving a slight nod, he finished the rest of his bottle this time leaning against the couch cushion. “Do your parents and Lucky like him?”

“Yeah, they said that we look good together and that Shik is a real gentleman. They looked really expectant and it made me happy to see that look, it’s been a while since I saw it.” His eyes started to water as he turned to look at me – drunk him sure is talkative, I like it. “I missed the fact that they’re happy I'm in love, even Lucky seemed to be happy about it.”

In love? Yeah, right. 

“Hanbin?” Humming my ‘yes’, I bit my lip trying to force away my tears – why is drinking so painful? “I talked to your parents after such a long time a few days ago, and they sounded happy to hear me. They even invited me over to eat with them, but I declined for the first time since I've known them. That was the first time I've ever said ‘no’ to your parents. Do you know how shitty I felt?” 

I did know as his parents had done the same thing wanting to check up on me, but I declined. It broke my heart that I couldn’t give them that benefit as I only ever saw them while I was dating their son. I'm still in love with him, but it seems that he isn’t in love with me anymore, so what right do I have to go to his home and eat with his parents? What right do I have to make them laugh and smile when I broke their son’s heart? What right do I have to want him back?

“Sorry.” The apology felt like air leaving my lips making him to smile and shake his head. 

“No, I don’t want it.” Nodding, the atmosphere had become weird as we started to go into uncharted territory. “W-What’s the real reason you broke up with me? At the time, I could accept that you were being mean and didn’t want to see me hurt, but after a year and finding love, again, I know that can’t be it. That can’t be the main reason, right?” 

“Yunhyeong, please stop.” Pushing myself up, I started to collect the empty bottles wishing to end this conversation. 

He shouldn’t dig up old wounds, especially when he’s in love with another man, it’ll only hurt all of us. 

Continuing to clean, I ignored his continuous questions that pertained to that one day – that day that made us like this. I had no other reason to break-up with him other than the one I gave him. If he wanted to continue being hurt then he should have at least stayed and fought, but no, he ran away just like I did. I spent so much time shouldering all the blame only to realize that he had been pushing me towards that end as well. It was like he was hopeful for it and when it happened, he didn’t expect it. I love him - I'm still in love with him – so, I wish he’d drop this. We already broke up, it’s been a year, there’s no need to do this to ourselves again. 

“Are you really going to ignore me? I just want proper closure, Bin.” Taking a deep breath, I stared at the broken look on his face and I knew it was best to leave it as is. 

“You’re drunk and it’s past 3 am. I'll call Wonshik, okay?” Shaking his head, he got on the couch lying down, hugging a pillow close to his chest. “Yunhyeong? Really?”

Snores were my answer making me shake my head at his stubbornness. He’s changed, but not enough for me to see a difference. Before he would have agreed, calling the other as he made his way into the bathroom to try and sober up. He'd emerge later with a small smile thanking me for keeping him company on such a busy night, even though I was the one who called him out. Maybe we should drink at the usual bar next time? At least, he’d be only tipsy and talking about how great Wonshik is. I'll just call him in the morning. 

Leaving him to his drunken slumber, I showered and got ready for bed only to backtrack to do the dishes. I couldn’t keep leaving this place in the state that it was in a few months prior, so I learned a few skills from my mom and Hyung. I said I’d make living without him work and I’m doing just that. Once the dishes were done, I peeked back into the living room to see that he’s now laying comfortably on his back. His drooling has gotten worse. 

Grabbing a napkin and blanket, I went towards him wiping his mouth before draping the blanket over him. It’s summer but it still gets cold at night. Sighing, a smile came across my features at the him in front of me, now. I miss him so much. I hate this feeling. 

“Could you love me again?” Pushing his hair out of his face, I tried to stop my tears. “I know I hurt you, but could you fall in love with me again? Could you become mine again? Even after a year, I’m still in love with just like the first time, so fall back in love with me, okay? I’ll be waiting, Yunnie.” 

Removing my hand, I left him to rest not wanting to wake him up or do more than I should. What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I say all that? He’s drunk and asleep, so he surely won’t remember in the morning, right? Hopefully. Sadly though, when more came he was nowhere to be found leaving me to leave home in my work clothes as if nothing had ever happened. He definitely heard me meaning I ruined our friendship. Ah, nothing seems to ever go right anymore. My love is now ruining away from me – how sad. 

My phone began to ring the moment I got in the car making me pull it out only to see that it’s Hyung. Of course, he’d check up on me afterwards. I really need him to shut up and mind his own business. I’m already going through enough meaning that his nagging is not needed. 

“How did it go?” Clipping it into the holster, I put on my seat-belt trying to think of a one-word answer to his question. 

“Okay.” He’s clearly expecting more as he smacked his lips. “Nothing happened at all. We watched movies and drank, that’s all; plus, weren’t you the one telling me not to do anything.” 

“True, but knowing you I expected something to happen.” What great friends I really have – they’re the best. “Well, serves you right for breaking up with that guy! He seemed so nice.” 

“First of all, we weren’t dating and secondly, he is/was.” The roads looked packed even though it’s early in the morning making me groan at the thought of being late to work. 

“Not dating? Then why did you bring him to meet us, huh?” Rolling my eyes, I turned at the light trying my hardest not to explode on him. 

“You four kept pressing me to bring someone to our hangouts as you called me all sorts of old bachelors and other names I won’t repeat. I was sleeping with him afterwards, so I brought him along for the ride. We haven’t even spoken to each other since then.” He sighed loudly making the clip vibrate and me chuckle at the sight. 

“It isn’t good to live this way, Bin. You’re going to grow old and alone.” Here we go again – I’m still young, so can they shut up. 

“Doubt it.” Pulling into the precinct, I parked in my spot turning off the car still listening to him. 

“You say that but every one who comes into your life recently is only a fling. What if you fling all your lovers away and no one is there at the end of the day?” It doesn’t matter – I already have someone. 

“I made it to work. Hang up.” Doing the opposite, I hung up instead, getting out only to be greeted by Hoon. “You look lively. Did something good happened?” 

“Yeah, I finally did it.” We entered the building together both holding completely different expressions. “I proposed to Yoon and he said yes! I’m so happy!” 

“Oh – well, congratulations on your engagement.” I hid my shock pretty well making his smile even bigger. 

Why the hell is everyone getting married? I want to get married too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will Yunhyeong do?


	35. Hug Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I know we are friends and you are his girlfriend, and we will probably stay friends tomorrow, the day after, and even forever..." -IKON

His words rang loudly in my ears making the tears that I've been holding back for so long fall. How can you say that only when you think someone is asleep? Why is he such a coward? Why can’t he just say it upfront? It makes me feel bad, as if I'm doing something I'm not supposed to, and that makes it worse. You want me back, but you won’t say so – you won’t tell me to my wide-awake face that you’re still in love with me. Stupid coward.

Entering the home, I shared with my “boyfriend”, I went into the extra room flopping down on the bed trying to not die. I jumped up running all the way here not even thinking about the nausea and the headache that seems to be killing me. Then I had to go asking stupid questions and saying stupid things. I'm a bigger idiot than he is. Sighing, my eyes slowly opened taking in the ceiling that spun in front of me and the only thing I could do is smile. Why? I have no idea, but it seemed to be the only thing to do.

“Yun? Are you back?” Making a disgruntled noise, the door suddenly opened, and a body had laid down next to my own. “Let me guess? It didn’t go all that well?”

“I feel like throwing up and I have a headache.” His laughter always seemed to cheer me up as it’s loud and unfiltered, just like him.

“We can talk over hangover soup, okay? I have something to tell you as well.” Taking his hand in my own, I gave it a tight squeeze before letting go allowing him to leave.

The minutes after were spent in silence as I emptied my mind of all the things that I wanted to say and cry about. Everything hurts, and I hate it. I told him since the beginning that I only wanted to be with him, so what in his right mind would make him think that I wouldn’t come running back at the drop of a dime. I've been fighting myself on this since I was stupid enough to tell myself to get over him; I've been fighting myself everyday not to go knocking on that door and falling right into his arms. I love Shik but Hanbin has my heart; and the same could be same for Shik. He loves me, but his heart is with his ex. That's why we’ve been holding onto each other these last 6 months in hopes that they’d finally say the words we’ve been waiting forever to hear; sadly, they’re both idiots. It would be nice if they could be as selfish as they were when we were together, then we wouldn’t have to keep these acts up.

“The food is here!” Pushing myself up, I threw off my jacket before dragging myself out to the kitchen table where the other sat waiting on me. “You look as if someone socked you. Good thing we both have today and tomorrow off.”

“Yay.” My voice sounded so flat that it didn’t even sound like my own. “Chicken?”

“Mhm.” Thanking him, I picked up the bowl slurping loudly on the broth once it was brought to my lips – it tasted so good. “Do you think you can hang out later?”

“Depends on where we’re going.” He tilted his head making me put the bowl down as he did something. “Is it -?”

“Yeah, he asked me to hang out and I was so ready to say yes, only for him to turn around and say that I should bring you along as well. Since we’re dating and all.” We both sighed not understanding how they both didn’t get it. “I agreed since we both didn’t have work, but if you want me to come up with some excuse then I'm game.”

“Nah, because if we’re together then it might push him to be more open about his feelings for you.” He nodded, a piece of chicken sitting nicely on his spoon that went right back into the bowl. “I know, it’s infuriating that they don’t see the work we’re putting in.”

“Who the hell even started saying that we’re dating? It was hook-ups, then suddenly we’re dating, even everyone at work was surprised.” Ripping the chicken off the bone, I shrugged knowing that it was either June or Dong – it couldn’t be anyone else. “I don’t mind dating you, Yun, but I’m ready to go back home.”

“I feel you.” Hanbin’s words from earlier rang loudly in my ears making me smack my lips. “You know that coward told me – he thought I was asleep – that he wants me to fall in love with him again; that he wants me to be his, again. If he - I don’t know, but it’s pissing me off.”

“Whoever’s controlling our love lives clearly has it out for us. Maybe we were big time players in our past lives? I doubt that, or do I?” Snorting, I couldn’t help but laugh at how he wiggled his eyebrows. “But, yeah, we’re going to this festival, then out to eat. I wonder if he’s bringing someone and that’s why he told me to bring you?”

“Doubt it, or he would have said something about it, right?” We both settled on that not wanting to hurt ourselves with ‘what ifs’ anymore.

After our talk and breakfast, I went to go take a nap before afternoon comes forcing me out of the house and into the arms of outside. Ah, I really hope things start falling into their rightful spots as I'd hate to lose the only thing, I'm happy to know. When afternoon came around, we dressed up in a couple-like way and headed towards this festival so that we could flaunt a sexual relationship as more than that. Wonshik held my hand the whole way making the smile on my face slowly become permanent - I like skin ship. Making it to the event, it wasn’t hard for him to spot the person he wanted as he stood off to the side dressed to the nines. If I didn’t know any better than I would have immediately thought he’s a model or someone famous like that. Sadly, I guess, he’s an elementary school teacher that loves kids more than he loves himself – or that’s how Shik made it seem whenever he spoke about him.

“Hakyeon!” He looked up from his phone with a smile that slipped off his face the moment we made eye-contact. “This is Yunhyeong, my boyfriend. Yun this is my f-friend, Hakyeon.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I heard a lot of great things about you, and you’re also really handsome.” Holding at my hand, he glanced at it with a frown before taking it in his own, smile tight and fake.

“The pleasure is all mine.” Coughing to save the awkwardness, he let my hand go allowing me to slip it back into my pocket. “Shik that band that you like is playing over in Section C. We should go.”

“Okay,” Shik looked at the other before glancing at me in that way that showed nothing but fondness, “let’s go.” 

Nodding, the three of us headed off towards Section C in a weird silence. I didn’t speak as I had nothing to really say while the other two were acting shy around each other. It's clear that Hakyeon didn’t want to cross the line as he acted like he normally did with his ex-lover, and Shik didn’t want to cross that line either. We aren’t even really dating, so if they went off together then I wouldn’t mind at all. Take it as an open opportunity.

Making it to the section, we pushed our ways into the middle seeing as how the front was filled with a bunch of crazy screaming teens. We aren’t in the mood to get trampled on by those younger than us – I’ve had enough of that with Woo. I, somehow, ended up in front of Shik as he had an arm thrown around my waist trying to make sure I didn’t end up somewhere I didn’t want to, or shouldn’t, be. It didn’t take long for me to feel the heated glare of the friend – in this situation. Lightly elbowing Shik, he leaned down for me to whisper into his ear as I had a plan, sort of.

“His arm – no, wrist. Hold onto it and say it’s just to keep us together.” Nodding, he straightened out before acting as if I didn’t just tell him to do what he’s doing.

“What are you doing?!” It was supposed to be a whisper, but it seemed that the other doesn’t know what that is.

“So, we can stay together.” All the fight that entered him left just as fast making him fall silent instantly, the music overshadowing any other emotion he had.

The band wasn’t all that bad as the music they played was rather sad and almost had me on the verge of tears, but the atmosphere they made was a lively one. I liked it a lot. Leaving that section, we bounced our way from other sections just to see what was going on. Hakyeon’s wrist was in Wonshik’s hand the whole time and his arm had moved from my waist to my shoulder. The looks we got were scandalous but then again, what would they know?

“Yunhyeong?” Stopping, I turned to see Jongsuk and Seunghoon – they both looked livelier than ever. “How have you been? I haven’t been to the hospital much lately, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine and I’ve been good. Oh, this is my boyfriend Wonshik and his friend Hakyeon. Guys these are police officers who I’ve had the pleasure of befriending.” I was so close to saying that they were Hanbin’s team members, but I stopped myself quickly. “What are you guys doing here?”

“They needed extra hands to supervise the festival, so the Team Leader volunteered our squad as we didn’t have anything to really work on.” So, that means that -, “Hanbin is over by the food stalls.”

“Why would he care?” They started to fight with each other as Seunghoon’s mouth always opened before his brain processed everything. “Sorry, Yunhyeong, he’s just excited.”

“It’s fine, I promise, it really is.” Smiling at them, they seemed to relax causing me to shake my head. “I heard from Rome that you got engaged, congratulations.”

“Thanks, Yunhyeong. I always knew you were an angle sent from above.” He started fake crying and I couldn’t help but laugh – I miss the craziness. “Wonshik, you better hold onto unlike some loser, or else he’ll be stolen from right under your nose.”

“Haha, I’ll tuck him away.” Hearing the tightness to his words, I quickly changed the conversation to be about them and their lives.

We talked for a good thirty minutes before they were radioed away to help with a rowdy crowd. Seeing as how no one else was really playing the music we liked, we decided to go and get something to snack on. Dinner was said to be nothing more than ramen and drinks, so I made the leap to get a snack as I’m not in the mood for ramen or anymore alcohol.

“Hey, I’m going to check on what’s do there. You two can continue to wait in this line, okay?” Giving them the opportunity to talk without being afraid, I ran off before Shik could say something. “Take the hint, idiot.”

Going around in no set direction, I peeked into the stalls not seeing anything I actually liked. Well, isn’t this great? Coming to the end of the line, a heavy sigh left my lips as I turned ready to take a second look at them again – maybe I missed something.

“Yun?” Stopping for the second time, I turned in the direction of the voice only to see Hanbin, who’s holding a small smile.

I guess he forgot about everything that had happened this morning. It’s probably better that way, if we’re both being honesty.

“What are you doing here?” I couldn’t help but become a little stiff as I stuck my hands into my coat pocket.

“Shik’s friend invited us to this festival.” He nodded, glancing around for the one who I mentioned. “There standing down there in line for the Tteokbokki. Oh, I also ran into Jongsuk and Seunghoon, they seem to be doing well.”

“Yeah, they are. Were you looking for something?” Shrugging, I looked towards the long lines and the many possibilities I’m not in the mood for.

“I guess? I haven’t found anything I like, so I’m going to go down the line again.” Why is it suddenly so awkward between us? Where did the comfortable air go? “D-Do you want to look with me? I mean, if you’re not busy, that is.”

“Mhm,” Looking around, again, he nodded stepping closer to me making my head tilt up a little. “Sure. I think they can handle it over here.”

Falling into step with each other, we looked carefully at each stall taking our time to see if it was what I actually wanted. Finally finding something, he decided to wait in line with me making my smile become almost earsplitting. I hate that I love him so much, and it’s so obvious, but he doesn’t see it. I’m definitely buying him glasses once we figure this out – I hope we do so sooner rather than later. We’re both not getting any younger here.

“How serious do you think you guys will get? Just curious.” Handing over the money for the food, I side-eyed him to see that he was staring directly at me.

“Why?” It wasn’t my first thought, but it was the most underwhelming one. “Thank you.”

Taking my food, I stepped out of line coming closer to him waiting on his answer.

“Curiosity?” Liar – why can’t he just say it?! “The relationship – never mind.”

“Then I guess that’s your answer.” I couldn’t help but become angry as he’s such a coward, the biggest one I’ve ever met.

When we were younger, he used to just say it, but now, he’s always holding his tongue in the wrong situations leading to his feelings only being hurt in the end. He only seems to know how to hurt himself – well, that can be up for debate.

Walking away from him, I began to stuff my mouth with food trying to force away the burn that plagued my body. The sound of feet behind me, following my every move, had me sighing and not in relief. How long are we going to do this? Am I going to have to throw myself at him for him to get it? Maybe that’s how I should have gone about since the beginning. Then, maybe, he’d see my feelings – the feelings he’s always seems to ignore at the end of the day.

Tossing my garbage, he took hold of my retreating hand, holding it tightly in his own as he dragged me away from everyone else. I didn’t question it – I didn’t really have a reason to. This could be it. He’s probably going to finally say what needs to be said and we can move on already. Sadly, it seems I’ll never get what I want – well not anytime soon that is.

“Can I h-hug you? Just for ten seconds.” My body tensed up having not expected him to say that all, especially not when he dragged me to a secluded area. “Seriously, just once for ten seconds.”

“O-Okay.” Relaxing, I allowed all the anger to leave me as I should enjoy this for the last time.

His arms wrapped around me, tightly, and his head nestled into my neck making me take a deep breath before hugging him back. The hug lasted for way longer than ten seconds but neither of us pointed that out, and once he pulled away, he did the unthinkable. He stared me in my eyes before pressing a kiss to my lips. My eyes became wide at the suddenness of it all, and he seemed to take it as me not wanting it as he pulled away quickly. Touching my lips, I stared at him in confusion waiting for him to say something.

“Sorry, I crossed the line. D-Don’t tell Wonshik, okay? I don’t want to mess up what you two have.” Punching him, I ran away not understanding how he could be so selfish – he’s always doing and saying whatever he wants to.

Tears brimmed my eyes, but I shook them away not wanting them to ruin the fun I’m supposed to be having. He ruins everything, even me, and he does so over and over again. Getting myself together, I found the other two standing off to the side looking around more than likely for me. Appearing in front of them like magic, they asked where I went and the only excuse, I could come up with, is the bathroom. They only nodded not even questioning it. Shik will probably ask about it once we get home and that’s fine, but I can’t ruin the nice atmosphere they had finally created.

We didn’t stay all that long at the festival afterwards, leaving to take care of the two who were hungry. I opted out asking to be taken home with another excuse. Telling them that I’m tired, Shik looked at me weird but agreed to take me home before going out with his “friend”. Seeing as how the other rode with us, he couldn’t really say what he wanted to, which left him to talk to the one who I allowed to have the front seat. It’ll be his once more in due time anyway.

“Call me if anything happens, okay?” Nodding, I got out the car making my way into the apartment building.

The first thing I did when I got in the house was go into my room and lay down. My heart is a mess and only sleep can heal it right now. Why is he doing this to me?! Why can’t he just be truthful?

When will we hug, again? When will we kiss, again?


	36. Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't offer me a drink, baby, it'll only bring regrets..." - Loco x Hwasa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter that'll bring us closer to a nice ending.

Time kept moving not wanting me to dwell on the day he kissed and hugged me out of then air, only to turn around and tell me to basically forget it. I tried my hardest, but it got my hopes up. They don’t seem to be going down any time soon, though. Why is nothing working out for me?

“Yunhyeong, can you change his bandages?” Nodding, I stood pulling the cart with me as I went in the direction of said patient.

Being friendly, I greeted him with a smile trying to stop my mind from wondering like how it’s been doing these last few hours. Changing the bandages for the deep cut that brought him in last night, he thanked me as I told him that he could go but to be careful and comeback if any problems arise. With him out of the way, I went back to the nurses’ station taking my seat with a deep sigh as I began working on his discharge papers. I know he’s ready to go home – the same could be said for me.

“Yunhyeong?” Glancing around the patient, my eyes immediately fell on Hanbin who didn’t look as if he’s going to work, or at it. “When do you get off?”

“Why does it matter to you?” Taking the clipboard, I waved the patient off before harshly typing his information into the computer. “Are you here to tell me something, then tell me to forget it afterwards?”

“N-No, but I do want to talk. Can we at least do that?” Another deep sigh left me as he stepped up to the counter with his brows furrowed.

“Yun – oh, hey, Hanbin. What are you doing here?” Wonshik’s smile slowly slid off his face not expecting to see the other.

“I have some business to talk to Yunhyeong about…as a friend?” The last three words weren’t necessary; I guess, he’s trying to not make it seem like more than what it is.

“Mhm,” The other nodded before turning to me with this worried look that I instantly brushed off, “well, I’m hanging out with Hakyeon tonight, so I’ll let you know what I arrive.”

The look I gave him in return had him blushing and I just knew that this play relationship would some becoming to an end. The only thing is that he’ll be with the one he wants while I’ll still be waiting for the one I want. Even though he has always been right in front of me. Taking a deep breath, I smiled telling him to have fun causing him to run off with an even bigger smile.

“I guess, I’m free, so give me like an hour.” He nodded motioning that he’d be outside before leaving me by myself once more.

The day just keeps getting better doesn’t it? I worked he night and afternoon shift, and now, in an hour, I’ll be doing who knows what with the person who wants me to forget. He’s always telling me to forget and it pisses me off.

Wiping my face, my fingers were slightly wet, but I played it off not wanting my fellow nurses to start asking me stupid questions. The hour passed before I knew it and here I am standing outside looking for him. He soon pulled up in his car staring straight ahead as if I wasn’t even here. That really says something, doesn’t it? Getting in, I buckled myself in, a small sigh leaving my lips as he pulled off driving to who knows where. We’ll more than likely be going back to his place – our place? My name is still on the lease, so its technically still my place. Ah, I’m thinking of stupid things, again.

Arriving at his place, we sat in silence for a minute not knowing if we should get out or not. The obvious answer is to get out, but we’re both too stupid to realize that.

“Are we going in or talking out here?” He seemed to snap out of where he placed himself, making him nod with no answer coming from his lips. “So…?”

“Oh, let’s go inside. It’s starting to get dark out. You know, daylight savings is really something else, right?” Checking the time, it showed that it’s only 5 o’clock but outside resembled the late hours of around 10.

Stepping out, I swung my lunch box around trying to distract myself from the fact that he’s walking so close to me. His arm brushed against mine a few times, but with the way how he quickly moved away, I couldn’t help but feel annoyed once more. Here we are with the perfect opportunity in front of us and he keeps dodging it. Why? Why are we even still talking if it isn’t about what we both want? Honestly, I’d rather lay it all on the table and get it over with, so I can continue with my life and he can do the same.

Taking off my coat, I draped it across the arm of the couch before sitting on the edge waiting for him to start this conversation. He’s the one who wants to talk to me, so he should start off.

“Jinhwan brought me some wine the other day. Do you want some?” I in fact did, but it seems we always get rocky when alcohol is involved.

“I don’t think alcohol and us, mix well.” Giving him a tight smile, he nodded leaning himself against the wall staring at me.

“I have a lot that I want to say, but I don’t know where to start honestly.” Why is it always like this? Just say it, idiot!

“Fine, how about I start us off?” He raised an eyebrow but allowed me continue. “Why did you say that you want me to love you, again? Why did you kiss me? Why did you tell me to forget about it knowing that I wouldn’t be able to? I’m trying my hardest to understand you, but you only know how to make things difficult. Why?”

“So, you heard me, huh? Now, I feel like an idiot.” You’ve always been one, idiot. “I keep telling myself to wait until the relationship gets rocky or falls apart because I don’t want you to be unhappy, but I keep getting ahead of myself. I was only supposed to hug you, not kiss you; I was only supposed to support you, but I can’t stop hoping that it doesn’t work out. Why is your relationship going so well anyway? Why is Wonshik so perfect?”

“Why do you contradict yourself so much?! If you want me just say so!” The frustration of the last few months finally exploded leaving us both wide-eyed.

“Huh?” His phone rang breaking the conversation as he dug in his pocket answering it. “What? A date? I forgot about that, sorry. It’s tomorrow, but – okay, fine. Mhm, see you later, mom.”

My mind started to swim, and I couldn’t help but feel stupid. To him, I’m in a whole relationship with someone he deems to be better than him, so I shouldn’t feel like this just because he’s going on a date. Yeah, it hurt a lot, especially since his mom put it together. What the hell am I doing? We’re not together and all this round-a-bout talking isn’t going to change that.

“So, you’re going on a date?” I wanted to sound friendly, it ended up sounding the exact opposite. “Well, have fun with that. I think I should be getting home.”

“Wait! Why are you in such a rush to leave? We’re not done talking, Yun.” Shouldering my jacket, I stood clutching my lunch box in between my fingers. “Yun!”

Turning away from him, I didn’t want him to see my tears as I shouldn’t be crying over something like that. I really shouldn’t, and he’s going to point that out.

“S-Sorry, I realized that I have something to do.” He took ahold of my shoulder turned me so that we were looking at each other, but I hide my face in my twisted hood.

“Are you crying? Why?” It clicked immediately causing a small smile to come onto his face. “Is it because I’m going on a date?”

“No, now let me go.” Trying to force his hands away did nothing but only bring him closer. “Stop, Hanbin, please.”

“I don’t see anyone else but you, so don’t run away from me, please. I don’t even want to go, so don’t run away.” Backing me against a wall, my head hung in between our bodies making me feel even worse. “I love you, okay? I only want you.”

“D-Don’t cross the line you’ve set because in the morning you’ll tell me to forget everything you’ve said, and I’ll be let down once more; don’t speak bullshit when you’re clearly doing what you do best,” My lips trembled as I didn’t want to push him away – I have no choice to, at this point. “You’ve ignored my feelings countless times, but now that you’re going on a date with someone your mom picked out, it’s suddenly about only wanting me. If I didn’t come today, then I’m sure you would have gone on that date without a care for me. I’m sorry, but I think we should stop this now, Hanbin. I can’t keep getting my hopes up.”

Pushing him away, I slipped back on my shoes all but running out of his place and out into the fresh air. It cooled my heated face and hot tears that spilled like crazy. I knew how the night would end, so I cut it before it could get there. I’m stupid, I know, but I can’t keep playing this game with him. I can’t keep going through this pain that has left my heart a mess. I want him, but I’m not going to make myself crazy.

I’m sorry, but I don’t want to keep crying like this.


	37. Love is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My love is you, My love is you, My love is you, My love is you..." - Seungri ft. Blue.D

I don’t want to go – I really don’t, especially after watching him run out the other day. He shot me all the way down already knowing that the ending would change up. I know what I want but it seems like every time I’m ready to go after it, I back out not wanting to be hurt again. I mean, I was a wreck once we broke up and I can’t help thinking that it could all come crashing down once more.

I can’t believe he told me that I don’t really love him, when that’s the only thing I’m sure of. Maybe I should just give up? He’s given up, so what’s the point of holding on, right?

“Can you get out of your head? I don’t have all night to be here babying you.” Zoning back in, Bobby and Jinhwan stood in front of me both with frowns on their faces.

“Sorry.” Running my hand down my face, I looked myself over for the last time taking in the outfit they helped me pick out by order of my mom.

It’s her colleague’s daughter, so she wants everything to go well even if we don’t end up together. I can’t help thinking what’s the point of putting in all this work, if we aren’t? I don’t want to, but if we do then we do. She also raved about how she’s exactly my type from when I was in my first year of high school. Why did I even tell her that? Whatever, it’s in the past anyway.

“It’s time for you to go. Are you picking her up?” Nodding, we all sighed already knowing that I’d be stuck talking to her parents. “Well, here are the flowers, and have fun.”

“I would say thanks, but I know you don’t mean it.” It’s clear as day that Jinhwan didn’t as he was well aware of what had happened last night.

He kind of kicked it out as me as he came waltzing in telling me that I needed to start getting ready. He found me still asleep with puffy eyes and the ramen I scarfed down on my face. I had no choice but to explain, and in the end, he called me a lot of names that I kindly accepted. I should have run after him and convinced him of my words – I never get the memo until it’s too late.

I’m always too late.

Leaving my place together, I waved them off as I lightly jogged towards my car that shined nicely under the setting sun. Getting in, I hesitated for a moment but soon pulled off not missing the deep frowns that were still on their faces. It’s fine as long as I don’t expect anything, right? Ugh, I don’t know anymore. Driving to the address I was given, my heart continued to drop as I just felt wrong being here. I kept telling myself that it’s whatever but the closer I get I know it isn’t whatever. This’ll just be a big waste of our time at the end of the day, or night, whatever.

It didn’t take long for me to arrive as she didn’t live all that far from me. Convenient, right? Parking in front, I got out with flowers in hand and a deep sigh leaving my lips. There’s no turning back – I mean, it’s not like I had a choice anyway. Ringing the buzzer on the gate, I was suddenly greeted by a gruff sounding voice. They must have just woken up.

“What do you want?” Clearing my throat, I began to recite the words I’ve always been thinking about on the way here.

“I’m here to pick up Dahyun.” A loud groan was heard before the person let go of the button.

The front door had slammed open and the sound of loud foot steps greeted me. The gate’s door was swung open revealing a tall male with bright orange hair. Greeting him, he ignored it in favor of staring me down. When he opened his mouth, again, the earlier gruff sounded voice was gone being replaced with a higher voice that had me more shocked than his appearance. He definitely just woke up.

“Why are you here for my sister?” Sucking my lips in, I moved the flowers in my hand around while nodding hoping he got the memo. “Oh, you’re the guy taking her on a date, right? Mhm, ha.”

He started to laugh causing my eyebrow to raise not understanding what’s funny about the situation.

“Yes, I’m taking your sister on a date, but I’m also the guy that can arrest you for assaulting a police officer.” His laughter immediately stopped making me smile in return.

“That’ll be impossible as I haven’t touched you.” He was soon thrown out of the way by a manicured hand which made the situation even funnier.

“Who would they believe, idiot? You or him? Now, stop antagonizing my date and go find your own, Yug.” Mom was correct, she was my type from my first year of high school. “Sorry, he’s a bum that doesn’t have much going for him besides dancing.”

“No, it’s fine, I was only pulling his leg. Oh, before I forget, here.” Handing her the flowers, she took them with a wide smile that had me smiling in return.

“Thank you, let me take these inside and then we can go, okay?” Nodding, I waved at her brother before stepping back towards the car, leaning against it in wait.

She appeared a few seconds later, waving frantically at her parents who came to see her off. Smiling at them, they shooed us to hurry up not wanting us to miss our reservation, that they booked. Opening the passenger side door, I waited until she had gotten fully situated before closing it and running around to get in. The both of us buckled up, and as I pulled off I had to hold in another sigh.

“Hanbin, right?” Nodding at her words, I pulled out onto the main road only turning my head slightly to look at her. “Let’s have fun, okay?”

“Mhm, okay.”

Arriving at the nice restaurant, we both got out walking side-by-side but never touching. It reminded me of – never mind. Opening the door for her once more, she thanked me before stepping inside as I stepped in behind her. We were sat down at a table in the middle, our drinks quickly being taken down, and we were soon left to just stare at each other. Don’t get me wrong, I know how to spit game, but like I said since the beginning, I’m not in the mood for a relationship. We need to talk to each other, and I wouldn’t mind, but do we really need to be in each other’s history like that?

“So, you’re a police officer?” Taking the glass of water from my lips, I sat it down, swallowing what was in my mouth loudly.

“Yeah, uh, what do you do?” Pushing her hair behind her ear, my eyes followed the moment with little to no real interest.

“I’m a makeup artist.” The waitress had come back with the drinks and as she sat them down, I thanked her. “You’re really courteous.”

“Ah, thanks, my ex- sorry, um, I got scolded a lot for forgetting my p’s and q’s so it’s a habit now.” She held her ‘Ah’ making me stare into my beer glass trying to figure out how to not make this worse.

“Don’t worry, my girlfriend is the same way, but only when we’re around others.” Choking, I hit my chest as a wave of relief and confusion had washed over me.

“You have a girlfriend?!” She nodded as if it was a known fact and I couldn’t help but lean back into my chair. “Thank god! I’ve been worrying about how I was going to reject you without sounding like an asshole.”

The air around us had suddenly shifted become more comfortable then it had been in the beginning. We both relaxed into our seats looking as if we had just come from doing hard work. Ordering our food, we started to talk like friends would, and as she gave me advice on my situation, I could understand it better. Why am I such an idiot?  Now, I really feel as if I can take a better approach to this situation. This situation to reclaim the love of my life, that is.

“I’m sorry that you got dragged into my mom’s mess, she just doesn’t want to acknowledge that I’m not single anymore. I think she just wants me to take care of her, again.” I could agree with that as mom has been on my case a lot more as of recently.

“It’s fine, I made a friend at the end of it, so I don’t mind.” Finishing our meal, we left deciding to walk around for a while before she had to go home. “How long have you and Chaeyoung been together?”

“Almost two years. How about you and Yunhyeong? How long were you together before you split?” Another lump had started to form, in my throat, at her seemingly innocent question.

“Four years, and it’s been a year since we broke up, so if we stayed together it would have been five years.” She gasped in amazement at the longevity that we managed to have.

“Wow, two years is my longest relationship, and here you are with double that. Wait, is that your longest relationship?” Nodding, she seemed even more amazed which I couldn’t help but laugh at.

“My longest and only relationship.” At my words, she began her questioning which I all answered with a smile at the memories that I cherished more than life itself. “We met during our 3rd year of high school on an extremely nice Sunday, and we’ve been together ever since…”

The memories stung a little as all the things I’ve never noticed in that moment had become more prominent now that it had passed. All the times I ignored his feelings in place of doing what I felt is right, and all the times he’s smiled despite me doing what I wanted. He must have been so hurt and I just blew it all off as if it meant nothing. Why am I just no realizing how selfish I am? He didn’t even want to breakup, but I still did what I thought was best for us – now, look at us – I hate it.

“Maybe, you should go see him?” Looking at her, she suddenly stopped walking giving me an understanding look.

“I would love to, but he’s happy with someone else.” Rubbing my arm in comfort, I just shrugged it off because I’m being stupid, again. “You know, he told me the other day that if I wanted him I should just say so, only to turn around and tell me that he can’t keeping doing this with me. He basically told me to be happy with tears running down his face and I had no response. I didn’t even have it in myself to run after him.”

“You really are an idiot. He literally just told you that he still wants you and you did nothing. Now, I understand why he’d be tired, because you don’t understand him. His words aren’t complicated, you’re just not reading into them.” Heaving a heavy sigh, she shook her head at me. “I wonder how you spent four years together when you don’t understand anything.”

“B-Because he’s always changed himself to understand me.” I felt like shit having finally gotten it – wow, I really am selfish.

“It’ll get better.” Her phone had gone off and as she pulled it out a wide smile had come onto her face. “Sorry, but Chae wants to meet up. Are you going to be okay on your own?”

“I’m older than you, brat, I’m fully capable of taking care of myself. Now, go have fun with your lover.” Running off, I watched until she had disappeared around the corner. “What do I do now?”

Walking back to my car, many thoughts passed my mind, but none of them would do as it just wasn’t me. Getting in, I closed the door leaning back into the seat while my hands held onto the steering wheel playing with the cover. Maybe, I should…?

Placing my phone to my ear, it rang continuously making me wonder if he was at work and as I was met with the voicemail, I could only laugh. I’ll be an idiot for the last time – a smart one, though.

“I’m an idiot, an asshole, a jerk, and probably many more names, but I know one thing and that is that I love you. I mean it with every fiber of my being. I love you, I’m in love with you, and I can only see a future with you. I’m sorry for doing whatever I wanted all this time; I’m sorry for breaking us up when that wasn’t what we both wanted; I’m sorry for playing with your feelings just because I thought you’d soon be forever out of my reach. I want you to come to me, and if you don’t that’s understandable, but please don’t marry Wonshik or anyone else. Save your ring finger only for me and the ring I’ll put on it, okay?” Sniffling, I really felt like the biggest asshole. “I’m going to start coming in at full force, so prepare yourself; also, apologize to Wonshik for me in advance. I really, really, love you, a lot.”

Sending the message, I hung up ready to show him that my love only belongs to him. I’m ready to give him the love that I couldn’t in the beginning. I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with him.


	38. I'll Be Your Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'll be your man. I won't ever let you go, again. I can't just leave you like that again." - BTOB

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little short but the next one will be long, so it's alright.

“Yunhyeong, someone just dropped something off for you at the station!” Coming out of the locker room, I raised my eyebrow taking notice of the smile on her face.

“For me? Are you sure?” She nodded before running off saying that she needed to hurry over to a patient’s room.

Shrugging, I made my way over to the nurses’ station not expecting much, but I was indeed surprised to see a few of the other nurses surrounding what seemed to be flowers. Moving around them, I peeked over to see that it was in fact a box filled with roses in the shape of a heart. At first my mind wandered to Wonshik in confusion as he was getting on better terms with Hakyeon, so this would be uncalled for. The next person it wandered towards had me forcing away my smile and blush as I told him that I’m done playing around with him. Plucking the card from in between the petals, everyone started ‘oohing’ and questioning me about who it’s from.

‘ _My love starts and ends with you. It’s gotta be you. – KHB’_

Folding the card, I stuffed it in my pocket before sitting the flowers aside as other patients were entering. Everyone was still waiting but I only told them to shoo, which had them walking away telling me not to be stingy. How am I stingy? Scoffing, I sat down with eyes that kept falling on the roses. Pulling the lid from underneath it, I put it on as I can’t be distracted with people’s lives at stake, or whatever is going on.

“What’s in the box?” Flinching, I looked up from my clipboard to see Wonshik leaning on the counter trying to read the glossy words on the box.

“Roses.” He gave me this surprised look but the smirk he gave with it totally flipped the meaning of his expression. “I know what you’re going to say, so hush.”

“Wonshik, that’s so nice of you to give your boyfriend flowers. I wish my boyfriend would give me flowers.” A doctor passing by had commented with a smile making us both look down.

“Almost forgot that we’re technically dating.” Laughing, he leaned up fixing his clothing. “I’m hanging with Hakyeon after work, if that’s cool with you.”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t it be?” We talked for a few seconds longer before he was called off leaving me to watch him run away.

With that done and over with, I had actually gotten back to work. I didn’t work my full 12 hours shift today, instead working only 6 hours as the nurse coming in after me wanted the extra hours. The chief had cleared it, so I was more than happy to have 18 hours to my day left rather than 12 hours. I’ll probably sleep for 8 of those hours then lounge around for the other 10 hours. Sounds like the perfect day to me, if I do say so myself.

When my shift came to an end, I had left carrying the huge box that had my arms in pain from the width of it. Taking a taxi home, I got out thanking the driver before struggling my way inside greeting the security guard. He told me that someone had stopped by our place earlier, but they left as soon as they came. That’s weird. Continuing on my way, I got the mail before making it to our door noticing the red bag that hung from the knob.

“I have no room left for all of this.” Sighing, I unlocked the door sitting everything down on the coffee table before running back out to grab the bag.

Flopping down on the couch, the bag was opened carefully just in case it wasn’t meant for me, but the next note showed that it clearly is.

‘ _You forgot something, so I wanted to return it. I wouldn’t take it off if I were you.’_ It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who sent it.

Pulling out the small box inside, I opened it to see that it was the couple ring I had taken off after the breakup. I’m surprised he kept it rather than tossing it. He even got it polished – my heart can’t take this anymore. Calling him, he answered after the first one causing me to hold in my sigh as I kept flipping the ring around.

“What are you doing?” Not wanting to get into formalities in case this is all just a joke to him, he snorted, and I just knew that he was laughing.

“I told you that I love you and that I’m going to get you back.” My heart started to do back-flips and I couldn’t help feeling like I was that 18-year-old in the skate park with his cousin and his cousin’s friends.

“Why do you sound so sure?” Taking the ring out of the box, I slide it onto my finger to see that it still fit perfectly.

“It’s the only thing I’ve been sure of since the day I told you that you’re my type. I’ve been in love with you for so long that I can’t fall in love with anyone else, and I want it to stay that way.” Biting my lip, my throat had become tight at how sincere he’s being. “Please, give me one more chance, Yun. I promise I’ll do everything right this time. I won’t ever leave you like that, again, okay?”

I wanted to tell him ‘okay’ and ‘yes’, but with how the situation is right now, I can’t just up and say it. I want to so bad.

“Let me think on it, Hanbin. Goodnight.” Hanging up, I checked the time laughing at myself a little because I sounded so stupid. “It’s barely evening and I’m telling him goodnight. I’m such an idiot.”

I might be an idiot, but it seems that everything I wished and hoped for is finally coming true. I hate that he waited a whole year to finally understand me. Maybe I should help him with comprehension skills once we get back together? Will we get back together? Yeah, I think we will.


	39. Just Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Be more honest with yourself...He's still in your heart." - iKON

A week had passed since then, and even though I told him I’d think about it, I already knew what my answer was from the moment I hung up until now. Wonshik and I both had an understanding for the situation, but neither of us spoke on it until we were super sure. His relationship with Hakyeon made it know that they were back in love, and I wasn’t going to ruin that for him. So, on this lovely off day that we both shared, I gathered up the courage to knock on his bedroom door. When it opened, we both started to speak at the same time only to stop and end up doing it again.

“You go first.” Nodding, I invited him out into the living room wanting to lay this all out sitting down. “Is it something serious, or are we talking about the same thing?”

“The same thing, I’m guessing.” Pulling the pillow into my chest, I looked him over taking in the smile and relaxed posture. “So, this is it, huh? We’re breaking up?”

“Yeah, I guess we are. You’ve been a wonderful boyfriend for the past 6 months, and I’m glad we could get through this and see it to the end.” Laughter floated from the both of us making the room warmer.

“I feel the same way, Wonshik.” Smiling back at him, I couldn’t help but think that this break-up is way different from any of the past ones I’ve experienced.

Well this relationship wasn’t all that real to begin with, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a relationship. We’ve lived together for the past year; we’ve gone back and forth from work together; we’ve eaten almost every meal together, and so on and so forth. We were domesticated more than I originally thought.

“Are you going to move back in with Hanbin?” Shrugging, he made this funny face knowing that I wanted to go back to the home that I took a long time to decorate.

“I’m going to talk to him later and we’ll go from there.” Throwing my head back, I leaned into the couch not knowing what to say anymore. “How about you? Is Hakyeon moving back in?”

“I was planning on asking him once we finish getting the rest of us sorted out. I have a feeling that he’s going to say yes, so I have nothing to really worry about.” Throwing the pillow at him, he caught it with ease. “What was that for?”

“I hate how confident you are. You’re acting just like that idiot.” Standing, I stretched cracking my bones as they’re always creaking and whatnot – well, that’s what Lizzy said the other day. “I’m going to start packing.”

“Don’t meet him too late, it’s starting to get dark out. Daylight savings is crazy isn’t it?”

“Shut up, idiot. You sound just like Junhoe. You know he thinks the sun turns into the moon at night? I’ve died laughing in the moment and had to be brought back to life by Hyung.” Recalling the memory, laughter immediately started to clench at my stomach making me hurry to my room.

Before closing my door, I head the soft ‘really?’ which had me laughing even harder. Calming myself, I started talking my shirts off of hangers, folding them, and putting them into piles for later. Doing the same with the clothing in the drawers, I started to put them into the duffel bag that I brought with me when I moved here. I had more clothes than I did at that time, so my bag was extra stuffed, but it doesn’t matter.

My phone started to ring, so glancing at the screen I answered having not expected Hyung to call me. I was literally just talking about him and here he goes – coincidence? I think not.

“How may I help the future Mr. Koo?” Putting the phone on speaker, I started to go through my smaller items.

“Oh, I was just calling to see if you and Wonshik wanted to hang out?” Of course, if this was a few days ago, I would have immediately jumped on it but… you know.

“I don’t think that’ll be possible right now, Hyung.” Digging around for this other bag I brought a while back, he started to go on his questioning race.

“Huh? Why? Did something happen? Are you hurt? Is he hurt? Should I come over? Do you need an ambulance?” He’s going to give himself high blood pressure at this rate.

“Hyung, we work at a hospital for crying out loud, if either one of us got hurt we’d be able to handle it on our own.” Sighing, I hid my laughter not wanting him to blow up like how he normally does. “Also, it won’t be possible because we broke up.”

“YOU WHAT?! Who’s in the wrong this time?” Why does it always have to be someone’s fault?

“No one. We came to this conclusion on our own, together, so don’t worry about all that other stuff.” Zipping up my bags, I took notice of the dead box of roses that I didn’t know where real until they had already past the point of no return.

What idiot buys real flowers and stick them in a box without a notice that they’re real? If I had known I would have taken better care of them.

“So, what now? Do you want to stay with us for a while?” Humming, I thought on it, remembering how the married couple had been breathing down my neck the whole time; I mean, I know they were worried, but it didn’t have to be that intense.

“I don’t know. I’m thinking of talking to Hanbin.” The whoop he let out had almost given me a heart attack from how loud it had been.

He started to go on a tangent about how thankful he is that I’m thinking of working it out with the other. He even started to tell me about the date that Hanbin had gone on and other details I didn’t really need. It made me feel better to hear that his date was actually in a relationship, although I’ll never admit that to anyone. Another call had come in breaking me from my train of thought as I told Hyung I’d call him back if I needed the place to stay. Answering the other call, it was exactly who I expected it to be.

“Do you think we could meet up? I want to talk.” Glancing at my packed bags, I agreed seeing no reason not to. “Should I pick you up or should we just meet up?”

“Meet me at the park by the house in an hour.”

“My house or your house?” Smacking my lips, I re-worded my statement so that he got that it was by his house – our house. “Okay, I’ll see you in an hour then.”

“The park? Isn’t that a little too romantic?” Hanging up, I scoffed at the other who stood in the doorway staring at me.

“Romantic, how? It isn’t romantic unless we make it romantic.” Tossing on an old hoodie, he continued to watch me making me stop to stare back. “Is there something wrong with me for you to be staring this hard?”

“No, I’m just thinking about how weird its going to be without you here.” Laughing, I agreed as it would be weird not seeing him stumbling down the hall into the bathroom. “I’ll drop you off since it’s on my way to Hakyeon’s.”

“Wow, you’re really going to drop your current ex-boyfriend off to meet his ex-lover before going to meet your ex-boyfriend? What a gentleman.” Kicking my ankle, I fell onto the bed holding it as he ran way saying he’d be in the car.

The fact that this is the thanks I get, is astonishing. Heading into the bathroom, I finished grabbing the rest of my skincare and hygiene stuff and tossing those in the bag with everything else I took a deep breath. This is the most I’ve moved around ever in my life and I don’t know if I truly hate it or not. Throwing the duffel on first, I strapped the backpack to the front of my chest before scooping up my phone and charger. I’m surprised that neither one of us is looking sad or depressed; I mean, the relationship wasn’t entirely real but it’s just weird, I guess. I don’t know. It doesn’t even matter anymore.

Getting in the passenger seat, he pulled off allowing me to take another deep breath as I relaxed into the seat. He turned the radio on making the silence even more comfortable than it originally was. Holding my hand out, he took hold of it with a reassuring smile that had me smiling in return. Why is he such a great support system? Hakyeon is extremely lucky, especially if they end up spending the rest of their lives together.

“We’re here.” Blinking slowly, I sat up looking around as we had indeed arrived faster than I thought we would. “Bye, buddy.”

Shaking my hand, I had a lot of thoughts running through my head and in the end, I said fuck it since it’s the last time. Leaning in, I pressed a quick kiss to his lips before unbuckling my seat-belt and getting out. Closing the door, we both waved at each out as he slowly drove off leaving me to turn and find somewhere to sit. I still had more than enough time until we met. Deciding on a swing set, my hands had come in contact with the slightly cool metal chains that were probably being used all day by little kids. The seat wasn’t any better as it was also cool, but at least my pants had taken care of some of the coolness.

“What now?” Speaking to myself, my eyes had fallen into my lap, my legs slightly pushing me back and forth causing the chains to creak.

“You’re earlier than I thought you’d be. I expected to arrive first.” My head snapped up at the voice that was lightly jogging towards me. “Why do you have all these bags? Are you going on a trip or something?”

“No,” Biting my lip to hide my smile, I shrugged a little. “Wonshik and I broke up.”

“Give me a minute.” Giving me his back, he started to do this little dance that I’m sure he’s doing completely wrong, but he has always had his own style anyway. “I’m sorry to hear about that. Do you want to talk about it?”

Scoffing in disbelief, he sat on the swing next to me, a huge smile gracing his face that didn’t mimic his faux concern.

“Should we talk about it?” He shook his head being the huge walking contradiction that he is. “We broke up. Now what? Mr. I’m-definitely-going-to-get-you-back.”  

“Well, I came ready to give you this huge speech with very valid points, but I can just throw that completely out the window now.” The look of confusion had me shaking my head as he’ll always be an idiot – my idiot.

“Let’s go home, idiot.” Standing, I held out my hand for him to take which he did a little too fast.

“So, does this mean…?”

“I don’t know, I’m still weighing my options.” Throwing his other arm over my shoulder, my head instantly placed itself on his shoulder as if we had always been this way.

“Thank you.”

“For?” Lifting my head, I instantly took in the half sad, half relieved smile on his face.

“Giving me another chance.” Idiot, I would have given you a million chances if you asked for them. “I love you with every last fiber in my being.”

“That makes two of us then.” Arriving at the home I’ve missed, he let me go allowing me to run ahead and unlock the door.  

Opening the door, I immediately tripped over a pair of shoes which had me nosediving straight into the hardwood floors. Holding my face, I let out a long groan cursing under my breath as the other stepped over me to turn on the lights. This is why certain people should never be left alone!

“A-Are you okay?” Pushing myself up, I looked behind me to see a pile of un-managed shoes filling the foyer. “I didn’t expect you to be coming over so soon, so I didn’t really clean up. My bad.”

“Your bad?! I could have broken my nose, jerk!” Removing my hand, I didn’t see any blood causing me to sigh in relief. “L-Look at how messy this place is! Yah, Kim Hanbin, get to cleaning now!”

“Yes, sir.” Leaving me alone in the foyer, I took the backpack off my chest opening it to make sure that nothing had broke during my fall. “Hey?”

“Huh?” Looking up, he had swooped down pressing his lips onto mine.

“Don’t forget that one, okay?” A crazy blush had come onto my face, so pushing him away I stood running into the bedroom.

Idiot, I didn’t say I was taking you back just yet. I said I was giving you a second chance. Who does he think he is just kissing me all willy-nilly?! Even though I do like it.  

Dropping my bags on the bed, I cracked my neck taking immediate notice of a drawer with clothing sticking out of it. It was the only drawer like that. Squatting down in front of it, I pulled it open only to see the clothing that I had left here in it. Picking up a random shirt, there were wet looking stains on it, so bringing it closer I was relieved when it smelled like nothing. I would have had a heart attack if it smelt – that’s another topic for a different day. But why are my clothes stuffed into this drawer? He must of started packing everything up after the initial breakup period.

“Yun – what are you doing?” Turning around, he stood in the doorway with a pair of gloves on and a broom in one hand.

“I could ask you the same thing. Why are my clothes in this drawer? What are these weird stains on my clothes?” A long ‘uh’ had left his mouth as he tilted his head looking for an excuse. “You know what, I’ll just do laundry.”

“Ah, you’re making it sound like I did something bad to them!” Rolling my eyes, I took everything out of the drawer throwing the ones with stains off to the side. “I only cried with them on my face because you know, they smell like you.”

I wanted to tell him that it was cute because I had slept in his sweater more than once, but I stopped myself. Why am I holding myself back? Because this is a chance, not a definite. What if he one day up and says he can’t do it, then what am I to do? Be heartbroken all over, again? No, I’m not doing that anyway more, sorry.

“Oh, before I forget.” Standing, I went towards him with my hand held out causing him to stare at it in confusion. “We’re starting over, right? So, I’m Song Yunhyeong, it’s nice to be in presence once more.”

“Kim Hanbin and the same could be said for me.” We shook on it, holding hands longer than needed.

A fresh start to an old chapter is what this is; a second chance at true love is what this is.


	40. Rubber Band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Like a tautly held rubber band, [the] both of us just holding each end and watching the other uneasily..." - iKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Rubber Band is a preparing for a break-up song, but I wanted to included so I just used the part where it's like the feelings are uneasy. So, don't come for me because this BOP needs to be appreciated more. 
> 
> Also, sorry for not update the day before I was dead tired for some odd reason, so everything was thrown out of wack. I hope you enjoy it though. We're also only 5 more chapters away from the end.

Starting over was a lot harder than I thought it would be. We fell back into the routine that we had before the break-up, the only differences were that we didn’t sleep in the same room and he was petty enough only to make breakfast for himself. Of course, I didn’t really care all that much about breakfast, but he could have at least boiled enough water for me to make a cup of coffee. Well, we have to start somewhere, right?

Talking with Bobby and Junhoe, they gave me some ideas on what to do to firmly secure his heart and feelings once more, but knowing them, majority of them wouldn’t work. Turning to my only neutral in this whole thing, Chanwoo, he told me to just be myself and not break his Hyung’s heart again. Thanking him for his shit advice, I just decided to try out a few of the other two’s ideas. Which involved a nice date and a gift.

Planning everything in an 18-year-old Hanbin’s fashion, I woke up earlier to make us lunch. It obviously came out way better than it did five years ago as I got some cooking experience under my belt. Making his favorites, I packed everything neatly into a lunchbox and sitting it on the counter I ran into the bedroom to start getting ready. I’m nervous to say the least, and I don’t really know why, maybe because it feels like the first time.

Coming out dresses better than I normally do, I knocked on the guest bedroom door waiting for him to show any signs that he’s awake. The door opened a few seconds later showing him in his pajamas with messy hair and freshly woken eyes. I forgotten how mesmerizing it is to see him first thing in the morning.

“Uh, Morning?” He nodded to my greeting, rubbing his eyes before taking a good look at me.

“Where are you going? I thought you took the day off.” Agreeing with his statement, he raised an eyebrow at me in wait for me to answer the question he posed.

“I thought we could go on a date.” It didn’t take a genius to see the gears turning in his head as our last date ended with us being over. “Not that kind of date. I already have everything prepared, so just get ready and meet me outside, okay?”

“O-Okay.” Smiling at him, he gave me this slight frown in return before closing the door – well, that’s better than nothing, right?

Taking the lunchbox, I went to the car putting it in the backseat before going to the mailbox having forgotten to get the mail yesterday. It was mainly junk mail and food restaurant flyers. Flipping through them, I made my way back outside only to hear a door closing making me glance back. He came out of the house wearing an all denim outfit with a white shirt and shoes that matched the white stars on the jacket’s collarbone area. He got ready quicker than he usually did, and I don’t know why, but it pricked at my heart. Does he want to hurry up and get this over with, or is he excited too?

“You look good.” I wanted to hold out my hand for him to take, only to keep it to myself as we walked towards the car together.

“So, where are we going?” I thought of keeping it a surprise, but the last time I did – never mind, it doesn’t matter anymore.

“A Garden.” He had fallen silent allowing me to focus in on the song playing on the radio.

“As long as it isn’t Everland, I don’t care.” I couldn’t help but laugh as that was exactly how I felt when I started planning this as well.

The drive was a peaceful one filled with somber, summer music and light chatter being interchanged between the two of us. We don’t really talk having become comfortable with silence – well, mainly me – so, when we did it wasn’t really awkward, but something was missing. It’s infuriating that I can’t figure out what that something is, but with time I know that it’ll soon become possible for me to see it. I love him with everything in me and I know he feels the same, it’s just sad to see us like this now.

When we arrived, I parked in a nicely shaded area not wanting the food to get messed up while we walked around. I planed for us to be here for a few hours then go somewhere else to eat and watch the sun set. I’ll also be giving him the gift while we’re there. It’s nothing expensive, but I decided to go with what I know and can afford. Getting out, we walked silently even as I paid the entrance fee. Once we were free to roam and stare at the many beautiful flowers, I concluded that I’m going to test my luck.

“Yun?” Humming, he turned towards me looking a little scared making me give him a reassuring smile. “C-Can I hold your hand?”

“My hand? Usually you just take it, what’s with asking?” I knew he’d respond like this, at least he wasn’t saying no.

“We’re starting over, right? So, I’m going to upgrade our first date, and from what I remember we didn’t hold hands or anything like that.” He nodded in understanding allowing his hand to swing next to him as we continued walking.

Taking it in my own, our fingers naturally interlaced making me grip his hand tightly while his own was rather lax – not completely, but it wasn’t as tight as my own. Stopping every so often, we read about the flowers and took pictures in front of them. He smiled brightly and laugh loudly causing my heart to do backflips, it’s been a while since I’ve seen him this happy and that fact that I’m the cause of it made it feel even better.

“These Daisies look so nice and white.” He bent down to get a better look while I took the reading the little information board.

“A Daisy symbolizes innocence, purity, and new beginnings. Its meaning is loyal love and I will never tell.” Glancing at him, I couldn’t stop myself from saying something cheesy. “Do you want to be my Daisy?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?” So, he missed my whole reading of the flower’s symbolization and meaning.

“Daisies mean loyal love and basically keeping secrets; so, since my love will always be loyal, do you want to be my Daisy?” It felt worse saying it a second time, but I did it.

“I almost threw up in my mouth.” Understandable. “But I’m fine just being your Yunhyeong.”

“My Yunhyeong?” Nodding, the smile was everything as I couldn’t help but pull him into a hug, skipping forward a little. “I can’t wait until the day you fully become mine.”

“Do you hear something?” He broke the hug running away making me chase after him – it feels like I found the piece of myself that has been missing for longer than needed.

Catching up to him, I picked him up twirling us around causing him to yelp before begging to be let down. The moment his feet touched the ground, he held his head saying that he was going to throw up. He’s weaker than I remember, but it’s fine, I’ll stuff him with vitamins. Checking the time, we had been here for almost two hours already just staring at flowers. How time passed so quickly? I don’t know, but do I care? Not at all. It ended up taking another fully hour to make our way back to the front of the park. All I have to say is that Junhoe is a liar. He said that it only took him and Jinhwan an hour or so to walk the whole garden and take photos. It’s been three hours and we’re finally back at the front! I’m killing him – it’s finally and I can’t go back on that.

“So, where to next?” With daylight savings and everything, the sun had started to set earlier and seeing as how we started off later than I wanted to, it meant that it wasn’t around noon anymore.

“To eat, of course.” Well, this is better anyway, we can watch the light show or whatever Bobby said it was.

“Eat where exactly?” Shrugging, I opened the car door for him causing him to crawl in while giving me a skeptical look.

“What?” Closing the door, I ran around the car getting in not giving him a chance to answer me right in that moment. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fun.”

“Fun? Hmm.” When did he become such a party-pooper?

Backing out, he turned up the radio more, this time joining in with the singer as he sang along. That must have eased the weary feelings he had earlier. The drive this time wasn’t all that long compared to the drive we took to the garden. Finding a nice spot, I backed in so that the trunk was facing the scenery and putting the car in park I clapped as if I had done magic. I don’t really know why I did it, but I just felt like doing it, so I did. Motioning for the other to get out, I popped the trunk having already set it up when I got off of work last night. Taking the lunch box off the backseat, the other stared at my curiously, but I only motioned for him to jump up and in.

“What are we doing at Han River?” He hoped up sitting on the blanket rubbing his hands on the material.

“I told you that I’m upgrading our first date. We had gone to the park the first time, so I took you to a garden this time.” Following after him, I opened the lunch box ready to spread it out. “We had a small picnic in the park the first time, so this time we’re having a small picnic at Han River. There’s also a few activities that we can do while we’re here.”

“What happened to the never wanting to leave the house Hanbin?” I decided to kick him to the curb for a while.

Handing him half of a sandwich, we both held shy smiles, the memories of us sharing that first sandwich making the air bubbly. Biting into my half, I nodded as I had done a better job than Bobby had – I will rub it in his face later on. He bit into his half telling me how good of a job I did, and that I should really start helping him cook more. ‘I would but you never wake me up’ is what I thought, but I didn’t comment on it. Instead, I gave him a wide grin before taking another bite. Pulling out the rest of the food, I dug around in the little side holders that the trunk had producing two cokes.

Opening his, I stuck a let over fast-food straw in it before putting it up to his lips. He was a little hesitant at first, but soon came around attaching his lips to the end of it. Letting him get a few sucks in, I moved it to the side before drinking out of my own.

“Want to put on some music?” He asked the question with a mouth full of food – disgusting, but not surprised.

“Sure.” Sitting his utensils down, he pulled out his phone turning on this sad sounding music saying that it fit the atmosphere perfectly.

Yeah, a bunch of songs about sadness and other sad things really fits the mood. Does he even understand the word?

Not commenting on it, I allowed him to continued singing along as he acted out the lyrics. It’s cute, so maybe I’ll comment on it later. Stuffing my face with food, I watched him continue to act silly. When we had finished eating, we both had become tired out of nowhere, leaning back against the seats as we stared out at the river and rapidly setting sun. We burped at the same time causing us to excuse ourselves before laughing at each other.

“You know, this is the first time we’ve actually saw the sun set? Last time we tried, we were so absorbed in each other that we missed it and blamed the sun for setting too fast.” Of course, it is, we’ve been too busy after that one time to try to do it again.

“It’s pretty, like you.” Side-eyeing him, he blushed hard before turning his back on me as if I hadn’t already seen it.

“Shut up, idiot.” That reminds me that I wanted to do something with him. “What are you doing?”

“Hush.” Digging under the back of the seat, I pulled out the long packet of sparklers and a lighter. “Take two.”

“Two?” Nodding, he did as I told him to and holding the both of them, I got out telling him to do the same. “You should have told me to get out before grabbing the sparklers.”

“When did you talk so much?” Lighting the sparklers, he scoffed making me do the same. “Okay~, now go closer to the river. I want to take some pictures.”

“Oh, you should have just said that from the beginning.” He took off finding the perfect spot for himself as he started to try out various poses that didn’t end in him burning himself. “How about this?!”

“Perfect!” Snapping away, he continued to pose, even jumped a few times not even noticing what’s going on behind him.

The water/light show had begun causing lighted water to cascade from the bridge a few feet away. It wasn’t loud as it hit the water below, so that’s probably why he wasn’t paying too much attention to it. Telling him to turn around, I faked like I wanted a backshot and the moment he did, he glanced back at me in confusion. Lightly jogging towards him, I took one of the sparklers waving it around a little with a smile.

“I love you.” Leaning my forehead on this side of his, I whispered it into his ear one more time. “I love you, Song Yunhyeong.”

“Well, I hate you.” A tear had slipped down almost distracting me from the hand that had grabbed onto my own.

“That’s fine with me.” The sparkler had finally gone out, so sticking it in his free hand, I moved us so that our backs were towards the show. “Smile!”

Holding my phone, he let a big one grace his face and I couldn’t help myself anymore. Turning, I kissed his cheek snapping a few photos making sure to catch his surprised look. When I pulled away, he turned towards me, leaning in with his eyes already closing. Meeting him halfway, I gripped my phone tightly as I used my balled hand to wrap it around his waist pulling him even closer. Ah, I can’t believe I’ve missed him more than I originally thought I did.

“I love you too.” Placing his forehead on mine, it felt like time had stopped and the world had finally righted itself.

“So, are you moving back into the bedroom?”

“It’s only the first date! At least get to know me better.” This is why I love him even more than he’ll ever be able to rationalize it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys ready for iKON's 4th cb?! It's in 11 days!


	41. Just For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...I will make you smile as much as you cried; I will be a star and shine on you; I will be beside you for as long as you waited for me." - iKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

Time flew past in a way that made that whole year seem irrelevant. We’re now two months into this redo and I can’t believe how much of a selfish idiot I had been during those four years. Back then I never took notice of how his face scrunched up, the tight smile joining it, whenever he was uncomfortable; the way his eyes would squint before he got mad or the nervous way he’d play with his fingers before finally deciding to ask me something. I thought I knew him like the back of my hand, but it seems that I only know what I wanted to know.

He came back to the bedroom recently even though I had to bug him about it until I took notice of how annoyed he was getting. I never fully pushed not wanting to ruin the level of comfort we had gotten back to, but it seems that my bothering had done it’s job. Now, I can wake up next to him once more, smelling his shampoo and body wash that he swears didn’t change – although it did because it smells fruitier. Whatever, as long as we’re together then I don’t care if he smells like a fruit farm. Ah, I really do love him with everything in me, don’t I?

“Bin, stop daydreaming or else we’ll be late!” Looking away from the ceiling, I took him in as he stood dressed to the nines for an event that didn’t really require it.

“Why are you so dressed up?” Pushing myself up, he gave me the ‘really’ look making me shrug. “It’s just dinner.”

“It’s not just dinner!” Wow, his voice really got up there. “Jinhwan and Junhoe registered their marriage and have invited us out to eat because they aren’t having a reception, so this is basically the reception.”

“I understand that, Yun, but they also said to treat it like a regular get-together.” Taking ahold of his shoulders, I gave them a reassuring squeezing hoping he’d calm down. “You and me, both know that June and Hyung aren’t extravagant people – they’re rather simple now that I think about it. Let’s just go and have fun, okay?”

“I know they aren’t extravagant, but I still want them to feel special on their special day.” He started to pout a little and I was so close to kissing him, but I stopped upon realizing that we are going to be late.

“That’s why we spent a ton of money on their gift. Now, let’s go before we really are late.” Turning him around, we headed towards the front door slipping on our shoes as I grabbed my keys.

We had a two hour drive ahead of us that we needed to compress down into an hour and 30 minutes, so this’ll be fun, I guess. Getting in, I allowed him to do what he wanted with the radio while I backed out of our spot thinking about if I should speed or not, as a cop that is. As a civilian the answer is obviously yes, but as a cop I know that I shouldn’t, but I am. Only when I get on the highway, though.

Making it to said highway, I started to go way over the speed limit causing me to glance around and see that everyone else had decided to pick up speed and follow along with me. Which is a good thing or else I would definitely be getting a ticket, and that’ll be the talk of the team for a while before they find something else to bother me about. Taking a quick glance at the other, he was frozen in his seat while clutching the medium size gift bag that held our gift. The gift that took a week to make and put a dent in my wallet until my next payday, but I won’t dwell on that as they’re my best friends for life.  

Getting off at our exit, I slowed down starting to drive the speed limit making him release this shaky breath that he was holding. It wasn’t that bad – he’s so overdramatic. Turning down the radio, he shook his head and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“As a cop, you should be ashamed of such reckless driving.” The tone of his voice let me know that he wasn’t being serious which had me laughing even harder.

“We’re almost there with less than 30 minutes to spare though.” Pointing at the clock, he opened his mouth to say something only to close it a few seconds after.

“True, but uphold the law you serve a little bit more, okay?” Yeah, Yeah, I’ll think about it.

Turning onto the road where they dinner is being held, it was extra long expanding along the edge of the sea that had connected with the ocean. Okay, maybe they are a little flashy, but this is exceeding expectations. The place we had pulled up to had also exceeded my expectations. It was a detached patio with a wooden walk-way from the restaurant that the food was coming from. It had a canopy and nice big chairs that were practically meant for sharing and relaxation afterwards. I just knew Jinhwan threw a fit after spending so much money.

Getting out, I took Yun’s free hand in my own walking us towards where the hosts sat waiting. Chanwoo and Jaewon were early as per usual, while Bobby and Donghyuk were going to late – it’s always either us or them. Stepping up on the wooden floor, we greeted everyone before sitting down in a chair. Yun slide the gift towards the happy couple who thanked us with the bare minimum. This is why I’m not saving them if they ask me for help.

“So, Chanwoo and Jaewon, how’s school going? You only have a year and a half left, right?” Yunhyeong started off the conversation causing the two who were in their own world to come back.

“Yeah, it’s alright, I guess.” Chanwoo’s bland answer had us all sitting up knowing that something is going on. “What?”

“What happened?” June asked this time which was even rarer as he usually never cared enough to ask.

“Nothing. Why do you think something happened?” They started to press him for more information, but my eyes were on the one who was sweating bucket.

“Jaewon, why do you seem so nervous? Is it something that you did?” Once the questions had left my mouth, the whole table fell silent turning towards him.

“Pffft, no.” Hmmm – someone is a horrible liar.

“WASSUP FAMILY!” The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the last couple who seemed to not know what a normal talking volume is.

“Do you really have to be that loud, you two? There are other people dining inside.” They both shrugged before taking their seat, sliding their gift towards the couple as well.

“Anyway, what were you talking about?” We all shook our heads seeing as how it wasn’t that big of a deal to begin with because if it was Chanwoo would had told us by now. “Aw, come on! We want to get in on it, too.”

“It was nothing, idiot.” Throwing my spoon at him, it hit the wooden table making this thud sound causing us to laugh. “Did you order already? I’m starving, Hyung.”

“Uh, yeah, we did so a few minutes before you two pulled up, so it shouldn’t take that long for it to come out.” Sighing in relief, I leaned back into the chair listening to the conversation they had begun.

The conversation wasn’t anything of importance as it was mainly basic questions and answers that we do on a daily basis. It’s nice getting together like this, and even though the occasion is special, it’s nice that we don’t feel the need to try and outdo each other. I’m really glad that these are my friends.

The food emerged during our conversation causing the table to immediately fall silent as we started to dig in. Hums of approval floated around the table making Jinhwan smile wide before he was being nudged by June to start eating his own food. I was a 100% right when I said that they were made for each other back when we went to Jeju, even though the context is different.

“You have something on your face.” Fingers started to wipe the corner of my mouth making me turn to see that Yunhyeong was smiling at me.

“You two are back to being disgusting, I see. Who knew that being broken up for a year could make two months look like two years?” Okay, Bobby had a point there, because we’re closer than we have ever been – literally and figuratively.

“Maybe we should divorce and get back together?” At Donghyuk’s suggestion, Bobby clutched his chest falling over as if he was having a heart attack. “I’m kidding.”

“I know, but if you weren’t then we’d have to start planning a funeral; and I don’t think June and Hyung would be all that happy celebrating their wedding anniversary on the day I died.” A mess, that’s all that it is.

“Can we not talk about that right now?” Chanwoo looked rather angry instantly bringing us back to where we were earlier.

“So….?” The question hung in the air causing Jaewon to sigh before staring down at his plate.

“I accidently killed his baby.” Yun gasped loudly causing me to grab him so that he didn’t fall over. “Not an actual baby! I spilled soda on his gaming system and me trying to fix it only made it worse, so it lives no more.”

“Oh my – I almost had a heart attack.” That was pretty clear from how tight he was gripping his shirt.

“Yeah, and he isn’t even trying to buy me a new one!” I never knew Woo was this childish, but I’m constantly being proven wrong.

“I’m broke, Woo! I told you that once I start saving up, I’ll buy you a new one!” They started arguing as Woo started talking about pricing and other things that left the rest of us confused.

We allowed them to continue bickering while we finished our food. The waiters came taking the dishes saying they’d be back in a few minutes with dessert. The confused looks of the hosts had me glancing towards Bobby to seem the smirk he was giving me – I guess he went and did it. They said to treat it like a get-together, but it seems that none of us knows what that is anymore.

“Dessert? We didn’t order dessert.”

“I know. We did.” As soon as the words left his mouth, this party of waiters came out carrying a two-tier white cake that had deep red roses spiraling the boarders of each layer, and on top was a stick holding a polaroid photo of the couple from when we were younger.

The staff was even nice enough to bring along drinks as they had attached sparklers to the bottle. Clapping and cheering, the two of them held shy smiles, shoulders bumping, and hands clasped tightly in each other’s hold.

“Congratulations on getting married!” Popping open the bottle, we cheered again liking the fact that we were embarrassing them.

“Um, wow, thanks guys. I know an actual wedding would have been ideal, but with us both being so busy we haven’t really had any time to plan an actual wedding –,” Hyung started to ramble causing his already red cheeks to become even redder. “What I’m trying to say is thank you for everything. We didn’t really expect a cake or gifts, but we really couldn’t have asked for better friends.”

“I’m about to cry, shut up.” Yun already had tears rolling down his face making his statement invalid.

“How long have we all known each other? 5 years? We’re family now, so don’t worry about it.” I tried to lighten the mood, but it only seemed to make the water works flow harder.

“I want to make a toast!” Standing, Bobby held his glass high making us all take our own glasses into our hands. “Hanbin and I have known Nani since we were children. We have seen him go from being a shy kid to a loud thirst gay teenager and now, we can say we’ve seen him blossom into a worried filled adult. He has guided our small group as the oldest for the longest time and for him I can say we’re both truly thankful. On that faithful early spring day at the skate park, we’ve come to meet and fall in love with a small group of four hot guys who have made our world so much brighter. Even though they’ve had their differences, they were able to overcome them with our – I mean their preservation and love for each other. To Jinhwan and Junhoe! May the future be filled with as many laughs as the present, cheers!”

Clicking our glasses together, we threw back our drinks, sighing in contentment once they were empty.

“Did you prepare that speech or…?” Chanwoo always has to be the party pooper, doesn’t he?

“Hush child! Now, let’s cut into the cake and start opening gifts.” Pulling out my phone, I watched as they both stood taking the knife and holding it together, they began to go towards the cake.

 I snapped away not wanting to miss any of it and as they cut a piece together, I couldn’t help but feel like a proud parent. We raised Hyung well, haven’t we? Junhoe took some of the cake smashing it onto Hyung’s face making the table uproar in laughter at his confused and shocked expression. June soon had a mouth full of cake as well – why is something so simple so beautiful?

“Do you guys want some?” Wiping the chunks of cake off his face, we all looked at him as if he was stupid.

“Of course!” Cutting us all slices, we ate still laughing at the cake covered faces that the two were taking forever to wipe.

Once everything had calmed down and we stuffed ourselves until we were filled with cake, we watched the two scrambles to open the gifts that we had brought them. They decided to go in the order that we had arrived in meaning that Chanwoo and Jaewon went first.

“An envelope, thanks.” Now we know why June isn’t allowed to do anything first.

“Idiot it isn’t just an envelope.” Okay, Woo snapping without respect – it’s fine in this instance. “We literally put a dent in our bank accounts to book your wedding photos since you two clearly didn’t think about taking them yet. We even reserved your tuxes, and this is the thanks we get?!”

“My bad.” Hyung took the envelope from June opening it to see that it was in fact what Chanwoo had said it was. “But thanks for being kind for once, Woo. I won’t say I love you or anything like that, but just know I appreciate it.”

“Thanks, I wouldn’t know what to do if you said the L-word.” Rolling his eyes, he went back to poking at his left over cake trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Okay, next gift!” Grabbing our bag, they pulled out the gold box that was inside wrapped with a ribbon. “Is it expensive?”

“I wouldn’t shake it if I were you.” He became excited at the thought that it was fragile causing him to throw off the lid causing some of the paper crinkle to go with it.

Inside were engraved wine glasses with their initials on them and this peacock feather design that went up the side of the glass. It took two weeks to make and a lump sum of money, but we did it seeing as how Hyung is always drinking wine to calm his frayed nerves.  

“This is what years of friendship is – this right here.” An alcoholic is what he is, and this right here proves it. “Thanks, you two. I’m glad you got back together.”

“Same.” Giving the two of them a low thumbs up, Yun took my hand in his own holding onto it tightly. “Well, now for the two who arrived last, will it be amazing, or a total let down?”

“It’s definitely amazing, especially for your standards, June.” Said person slide the wooden box out of the bag they had brought it in, immediately showing us the craved ‘KOO’ that rested in a crest.

Upon opening it, it had liquor glasses and a whiskey bottle that held the same engraving that the top of the box held. It seems that we both went for the same thing – great minds really do think alike. June ended up thanking Bobby for the first time since we met which had made the atmosphere even warmer. Obviously, it won’t be warm for long, but it’s nice to bask in it while it lasts.

“Want to go down to the water?” Whispering it to the other, he nodded with a wide smile causing us both to stand and run off while everyone else was distracted with the glasses.

We looked like kids shushing each other as we ran across the road, stepping into the sand that we could barely see. There wasn’t much as the water came up pretty high, but it was still enough to walk along. Taking off our shoes and socks, we sat them by the road before beginning a slow walk in a random direction.

“I’m really happy for everyone. It’s nice to know that they’ll be spending the rest of their lives with the person they love.” The street lights casted a harsh glow onto his face making a shadow that hid his expression.

“How about you? Are you going to spend the rest of your life with the person you love?” I could be more specific, but he knows what I’m getting at.

“That’ll be ideal. It’s actually the only goal that I haven’t reached yet.” Well, he’ll be reaching it pretty soon if we keep heading on this path that we are on.

“You know, I told myself that I’ll stop making promises to you as I tend to break them unconsciously, but I can’t really help myself when it comes to you.” Stopping, I turned towards him scratching the back of my neck feeling shy at the words I’ve been wanting to say to him. “I have nothing I can give you besides myself, but I want you to know that I’ll protect you with everything in me from now on. I’ll just be nice to you from now on, okay?”

“I told you when you got out of the military that that’s all I ever really wanted from you. I didn’t need you to treat me better or any of the other promises that you made. I’m glad that you want to protect me – I’m happy that you’ll only be nice to me; I’m extremely happy that you’re in love with me.” Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him into a hug not wanting him to know that my eyes were watering.

I must be getting old seeing as how I’m crying at such simple, although meaningful, words.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life only for you.” His arms tightened around my waist making me forget about the water that had now surrounded our feet.

“Thank you. As will I.”


	42. The Best Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are the best thing I have, a gift from the world. I want to dream the same dream with you.   
> Your name that lasts forever, the biggest happiness. I want to wake up and fall asleep with you.   
> I promise I'll keep you safe with all I have..." - Bi Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After all this time and heartbreak it seems that Hanbin finally did it. Enjoy!

Stepping out of the hospital, I had just finished working a double shift and with it being late, I expected to see Hanbin’s own tired face leaning against his car. Instead I was greeted with the sight of Junhoe, Donghyuk, and Chanwoo as they held huge smiles. I couldn’t help but to smile back.

“Why are you guys here? Where’s Hanbin?” Jogging over to them, they just continued smiling making me squint at them. “What’s going on? Is someone hurt?”

“Nope, not a soul is hurt.” That’s weird then. “Come on, Hyung, we need to get you cleaned up.”

“Cleaned up? Why?” None of them cared to answer me, instead pushing me into the back of Junhoe’s car and buckling me in. “Am I a child?”

“Yes, you’re our precious little baby.” Gagging, Dong reached back pinch my cheek causing me to slap his hand away. “Aww, is the poor baby grumpy?”

“I’ll murder you if you keep this up.” He quickly turned back in his seat beginning to fiddle with the radio.

The ride to wherever we were going was filled with light chatter that I was too tired to make sense of. I just want to go home and snuggle into the sheets before Hanbin comes wrapping me in a death grip he thinks is a cuddle. It’s cute, but I prefer to breathe properly when I sleep. The car came to a stop in front of Chanwoo’s place making me tilt my head as I didn’t think we’d be visiting Aunt and Uncle. Well, they weren’t really telling me anything to begin with, so I wouldn’t have figured, right?

Getting out, June went to go park while the rest of us headed inside. A loud yawn had passed my lips, and as I shook my head to stay awake, they both started whispering amongst themselves. I wanted to ask what was going on, but June was back and had joined in on the conversation leaving me the odd one out. Like, what the heck is going on here?

“Hello?” They all stopped whispering turning to me for a split second before going back into their huddle. “If you guys don’t tell me what’s going on then I’m not getting on the elevator!”

Finally putting my foot down, I could see the scoff before it came and when it did it came hard. The elevator doors opened and without missing a beat they had dragged me on forcing me into the corner as they held me against the wall. Struggling with little energy I had, I gave up a few seconds in as it was useless, especially with the three of them on me.

“We’re going to get you cleaned up and take you somewhere nice. It’ll be relaxing, I promise.” Woo smiled at me in a way that told me that something was definitely going on.

“I don’t want to relax! I want to go home and sleep!” Whining, they all looked at me in disgust – why do none of my friends care for my health?

Arriving on Woo’s floor, we had all gotten off, I was still being dragged around as if I weighed practically nothing. I’m a grown man who has muscle, so why doesn’t it feel like that? Well, whatever, I’ll worry about that later. Entering the home, I greeted my family making me backtrack a little because my parents never told me that they had come into town. I was usually the first to know days in advance. They held the happiest smiles I’ve ever seen making me frown a little. I mean, of course, they were happy when Hanbin and I got back together as they saw the raw happiness that had been brought back into me, but this was different.

Okay something is definitely going on!

“Go freshen up. Should you change? No, I think you look rather cute in your scrubs.” My mom started rambling as she pushed me in the direction of the bathroom. “We should re-style your hair and spray you down with some smell goods. You don’t want to go out smelling like a hospital, right? Right!”

“Mom?” She started wetting my hair having completely blocked me out. “Mom?! MOM!”

“Child, don’t scream or else I’ll pass.” Roll my eyes at her attempt at an old joke, she continued to do what she was set on. “Wow, you get handsomer every time I see you. Looking just like your dad.”

“Okay, that’s enough. What’s going on? Why is everyone being so weird?” Ignoring like how I knew she would, she started to spray cologne all over the place, majority of it entering my mouth. “Pwah! Ma! Enough!”

“Sorry, my finger shook, sorry.”

“It’s fine, sorry for yelling.” Patting my shoulder, my hoodie was taken in between her fingers beginning to straighten it out.

We left the bathroom after neither really saying anything. It’s not like I had anything to really say anyway. Being dragged out the door, again, this time everyone had come along – this doesn’t feel right. As a group, we made our way to the skate park, the lighting a little blinding for this time of night, but who am I to complain, right?

“Here.” Bobby came out of nowhere with Jinhwan and Hanbin’s parents on his side handing me a bike?

“What am I to do with this? I thought we were going somewhere nice, somewhere I could _relax_.” Stretching out the word, Woo rolled his eyes before motioning for me to get on the bike. “Fine, I’ll get on.”

Sitting down on the seat, the bike felt familiar but with the color it couldn’t possibly be Hanbin’s bike. He told me his dad got rid of it since it was just taking up space in his home. Well, his room that they let guest sleep in now. Maybe I’m overthinking this, it’s probably something stupid that’ll surely get me mad. I just want to sleep.

“Ride around the track twice and then go for a third time but slowly and read the gate!” I was pushed off not able to question it.

Deciding to treat this as exercise, I raced around the track the first time looking disinterest, but once I started on the second round, I couldn’t help the smile that came onto my face. The cool night air felt amazing as it showed that we’d soon be entering Fall in a little over three weeks. It just felt extremely nice. Coming off of my second round, I slowed down a lot, riding at a leisurely pace that would allow me to read at a normal pace.

‘Will…You…Marry…Me?’ The words were so far apart that I was almost to my starting part again.

My brain took a minute to figure out what the words meant and once it had hit me, I took notice of the officer standing in wait for me in the middle of the track, an open box in his hands. Out of instinct to stop, my hands grip the bars tightly, ultimately holding onto the brakes, causing the bike to jerk to a stop. I flew over the handle bars falling to the ground, a serious sounding groan leaving my lips. My body aches badly.

“Yunhyeong?!” The feeling of the ground shaking accompanied the sound of hurried feet before I was being surrounded.

“Are you okay?” Blinking a few times, my eyes finally refocused immediately making eye-contact with the face over mine. “I should have thought this through better, huh? Do you need help, Yun?”

“I-Isn’t there something you should be saying right now?” Pushing myself up onto my elbows, he leaned back. “Hmm?”

“Oh – OH! Sorry,” Straightening himself out, he kneeled holding the box in his palms as if it was an offering. “Song Yunhyeong, will you marry me and allow me to protect you for the rest of our lives?”

I stayed silent wondering if I should tease him, but the aches and pains my body were experiencing told me to save it for later.

“Yes.” A pregnant pause followed, the box slipping from his hands, the ring clamped inside of it.

“Huh? Yes?” It seems as though his ears are malfunctioning right now. “Yes?! YES!”

I was engulfed in a hug that had us both rolling around on the ground, small cheers in between laughter filling the air around us. I have no idea why he would think I’d say no? We spent basically 5 years and four months together, even though we weren’t together for a year. The feelings were still strong, and we were both being idiots waiting for the other to make the first move. Now, we don’t have to worry about that anymore.

Kissing his forehead, he pulled me up with him so that I was straddling his thighs, his hands becoming frantic to search for the small box. Ugh, he’s a clumsy idiot but he’s my clumsy idiot. Once he found it, behind him, he took out the ring, hands shaking as it slides the ring onto my finger. Wrapping my arms around him for another hug, we held onto each other tightly not wanting this brief moment to pass us too quickly.

“Can you two stop being gross? It’s almost 10 o’clock and I have classes in the morning.” Woo’s voice snapped us out of her happiness to roll our eyes at him.

“What cologne is this? It’s strong.” Coughing, I glanced over to my mom before giving him a tight smile. “Doesn’t matter, let’s go eat dinner over at my parents. I asked them to cook us something special.”

“I’m sure you did.” Standing, we dusted each other off, hands soon intertwined with each other as we went towards everyone thanking them for helping this idiot with this.

It seems that everything is finally falling into place, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make it long and dramatic, but I decided to keep it simple seeing as how Hanbin is rather simple, not to mention Yun doesn't really care for extravagant things - in the story that is, I guess. Anyway, I thought what better way to go about it than taking it back to where it all started. I'll see you guys for the next chapter ;).


	43. Only You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Though I can't promise you great things. Let's be together forever." - iKON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little pre-wedding photo-shoot with some cheese.

We spent at least an hour or more in the salon right after waking up, and although I wanted to complain, I couldn’t find it in me to do so. Yun looked so happy that I had swallowed all my complaints in favor of following him around as he packed a few change of clothes. We’re already changed into our suits for the more formal set of photos as that’ll be the one passed around to family and hung largely on the middle of the living room wall. The rest will likely be in small photo frames littered around the house, or in a photo album.

“Hanbin, come on.” The assistant had pulled on my arm bringing me towards the windows that showed off the early morning sun.

My eyes immediately landed on the other as he sat on this small couch with his legs crossed looking elegant. I could feel my heart stop and breath hitch the moment he looked over, our eyes making contact, and smiles forming on our faces. The told me to sit on the arm of the couch and doing just that I held my hand out for the other to take. I can’t believe how nervous I am; I mean, this is my first, and only, marriage, but I thought the jitters would come on the exact day.

“Bin?” Squeezing his hand, I glanced down on him only to see that he was staring at me in fondness. “You look really handsome. Have I told you that?”

“Yes, almost every day for the last 5 and a half years, excluding that one year.” He was the only one who gassed me up on the daily, and I really appreciated that.

“Well, I’m going to keep saying it until we’re old and, on our deathbeds, okay?” Leaning down, I placed a small but lingering kiss on his cheek not being able to hide my smile.

“I hope you’re ready for the same.” The fact that we’re just smiling at each other had me feeling even warmer. “Are you ready for this?”

“I think we already started.” We both turned to see that the photographer was silently snapping photos of us talking. “This is a good start isn’t it?”

Scoffing in disbelief, I had to nod as it was better than if we were both two stiff boards. We’re relaxed unlike the first time we had to take similar photos, so of course, these’ll be better, right? Honestly, I have no idea. My brain is now in overload as I keep stopping myself from looking at him longer than needed. He looked amazing in his suit that matched my own besides the white button-up he wore under his, while I wore a black button up. I just couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

We stood side-by-side holding hands tightly for the last set of suit photos, and in his other hand was a single rose that had a ribbon tied around it in a bow. Smiling wide, he leaned his head on my shoulder making my smile even wider as he was being really cute. Taking my free hand, I reached over lightly patting his face not wanting to ruin his makeup causing him to glance up at me. I wanted to lean down and kiss him, again, but I think everyone has seen more than enough of me stealing kisses from him.

I’ve practically been at it all day.

“Get changed and we’ll set up for the second set of photos.” We both nodded, skipping out of the backdrop range to go into the dressing room.

Letting go of each other’s hands, we each went to our own areas stripping and changing into a semi-formal look. Smoothing my hair back, I turned to see that he had this cute plastic crown on, and as they worked to situate it properly, I couldn’t help myself. Finding an opening, which happened to be the nape of his neck, I pressed two quick kisses before running away. I could hear him whining the further away I had gotten from him making me smile. I really can’t believe how happy I am right now.

“Okay, this is what we’re going to do, Hanbin you will sit on the floor and Yunhyeong will sit on the other side of the screen. We’ll add the graphics in photoshop. It’ll come out great, so don’t worry.” All I could do was nod seeing as how I had no choice but to believe his words.

Taking my seat on the floor, I sat crisscross applesauce in wait for the other who came out with a small blush dusting his cheeks. Making eye-contact, it grew, and I couldn’t help but feel proud as I’m the reason that he’s blushing. As he took his seat, we were both told to face forward and act a little shy which had us both smiling. I don’t think anything could stop us from smiling today, and that’s just what it’ll be. I’m not even mad at it.

By the end of the shoot, we were practically on top of one another, laughter ringing from us as he placed his crown on my head only for it to fall off.

“Bin?” Humming, we just stared at each other trying to keep down our smiles. “We should get up and go change for the last photos.”

“Ugh, but I don’t feel like it.” Pouting, he took ahold of my cheek jiggling it around before pushing himself up.

“Come on, big baby. We have things to do after this.” Holding his hands out, I took them in my own allowing him to pull me up with little to no help from my own body.

“Big baby? When have I ever?” Gasping in fake disbelief, he shook his head rolling his eyes causing me to throw my arm over his shoulder pulling him into my side. “I can be your baby if you want me to be, though.”

“Stop being disgusting.” Elbowing me, I let go which caused him to walk ahead leaving me to hold my side in pain.

I’m starting to think that he’s out to get me nowadays. All this violence that I thought disappeared has now come back full force, and I missed it, a little.

Our last outfits were matching shirts with hearts on them made out of two hands, and for bottoms we just wore the ones we wore here. I had rips in mine, but no one seemed to really care, so that was even better. Taking the couch once more, I sat on it basically taking up the whole length of it while I leaned against the arm that I once sat on. Yun sat in front of me fingers twisting around themselves as if he had something he wanted to say.

“Are you okay, Yun? Is something wrong?” Sitting up a little bit more, I took his arm lightly pulling him towards me only for him to shake his head.

“No, I’m just extremely happy. I’m not going to cry or anything because I don’t want to ruin anything.” Snorting, I couldn’t believe that I even thought anything was wrong in the first place – he’s the same old Yunhyeong and he forever will be.

“Are you using different body products?” The smell was stronger than it normally was making me lean in a little to take it in more.

“Oh, I washed my hands and I didn’t want them to become ashy, so I used whatever lotion they had, well, I used a lot, so I ran it up my arms. Does it smell bad?” His brows furrowed in worry as he lifted his arms to his nose breathing in deeply.

“Nope,” Winking at him, he lightly hit my chest making me intertwine our fingers before he could pull away. “I don’t think anything will ever smell bad on you.”

“Stop trying to butter me up like corn, Bin.” Okay, these types of jokes are getting out of hand, I will definitely be putting a stop to them immediately.

“Don’t ever say that again, it’s lame and not really all that funny, at all.” The director came over interrupting us, ultimately stopping our usual bickering about jokes that are and aren’t funny.

“Let’s have fun, happy couple, okay?” We both nodded as we’ve been having fun this whole time.

The first few pictures, Yun and I were just holding hands smiling at each other and talking about something else other than his lame jokes. He soon ended up kneeled between my legs laughing loudly as my hands rested on his waist not wanting him to fall or anything. He’s pretty jumpy when he laughs, and I love it. Leaning down, he touched our foreheads together forcing me to look up into his crinkled eyes.

“I love you.” It was whispered making his minty breath to fan coolly over my face.

“I love you, too, Mr. Kim.” Grabbing my face, he connected our lips at my use of the name that I’ll surely be calling him from now on.

Pulling him down, I turned us a little so that we were both laying on the couch smiling like the teenagers at heart that we are. I played with the ring on his finger as the thought of wearing our actual ones had me feeling jittery once more. And with that the shoot had ended.

Packing everything up, I threw them into the trunk before making my way back inside to see that Yun and the director were talking as they went over the pictures. Not having much of an opinion about this stuff, I just wrapped my arms around the other placing my chin on his shoulder watching them. It took way longer than I thought it would, but he was satisfied with the end results and that’s all that matters. Thanking everyone for their hard work, we left, getting into the car trying to figure out what our next plan of action.

“Do you still want to go grocery shopping? I have tomorrow off, so we can always do it then.” A long sigh had left his lips and I just knew we weren’t going to the store today. “Pizza?”

“Pizza.” Turning up the radio, I drove us home enjoying the view that the city had to offer us.

Making it home, we both got out leaving everything in the trunk not really in the mood to be bothered with it at the moment. Close to the end of the drive, he had placed the delivery order, so all we really have to do is wait. Slipping off our shoes and flopping down on the couch, I messed with the TV looking for a movie or drama to put on while we eat.

“This drama is really good! I watched the first episode and I was so ready to watch the second, but I held off.” Well, it seems that we’ll be watching this then.

The door bell going off had him springing up, tripping over himself as he went to answer the door with a smile. It didn’t take long before he came back with the box clutched tightly in his hands. Sitting down, he pulled the coffee table closer to the end of the couch we’re on and throwing open the box, he laid down on top of me. Well, it isn’t uncomfortable or anything like that, so I don’t really care.

“Let’s start from the beginning.” Nodding, he opened the box handing me a slice while he stuffed the other in his mouth. “You are so not cute anymore.”

“I’m a grown man that’s getting married to another grown man in a few months. I don’t have to be cute anymore, seeing as how I already trapped you and, now, you’re being locked in forever.” He gave me this half-assed evil laugh that had him choking a little on the food in his mouth.

“Well, that is true. It’s going to only be for you for forever and ever and ever.”

“Exactly! And if you even think of utter the words divorce, I’ll kill you wherever you stand or lay.” Like the weird people we are, we languidly shook it for no real reason besides to just do it.

Falling into the drama and the comfort zone we had entered, he had quickly fell asleep holding onto me tightly. Lightly dusting the crumbs from his lips, I turned everything off felling that I was going to fall asleep as well. Staring down on him, he looked so peaceful and content that I couldn’t help but fall for him even more. I’m already deep, but it seems that this hole just keeps getting deeper.

I love everything about him and I can’t wait until we legally belong to one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters left!


	44. I'll Be There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why do you still - Why don't you have a little faith in me? Baby I'll always be by your side, always in the same place forever. Love you more than you ever will. Why don't you know? You know it's true. More than yesterday, with every second, I keep loving you more." - G.Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yunbin wedding...finally! Also, one more chapter then it's over ;).

The doors flung open, my name being called by the host as everyone held their breathes. The white suit I wore a second time fit perfectly like a glow making a small smile come onto my face. I’m more nervous than I’ve ever been in my whole life and walking down this white strip named the aisle, I had to stop myself from tripping over myself. The music entered my ears the moment I lifted my head taking in the one who I’ll be promising my life of forever to. His nose and eyes crinkled, hand held out in wait for me to reach him, the smile on his face never flattering.

When I made it, I took his hand tightly causing him to pull me closer as we walked the rest of the way towards the officiant. Music seizing and only the sounds of our breathing being heard. Glancing at him, he looked extremely handsome – the shy smile he adorned taking me back in time. It took my back to a time where I only did what I wanted, the first choice always being the right one. I’m glad that I chose him at that time, because I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t.  

The officiant ran through the ceremony while I was distracted with my thoughts of the other which had him laughing. Zoning back in, it was silent making me realized that there were things that I needed to say.

“I will.” Hearing Hanbin repeat after me, I squeezed his hand as the jitters were slowly slipping away.

He spoke some more about the meaning of marriage leaving us to just nod along.

“May I have the rings, please?” Chanwoo came up from the side, tears in his usually mean eyes as he handed over the small pillow holding the rings. “Hanbin, please repeat after me: I, Kim Hanbin, -,”

“I, Kim Hanbin,” He took the ring meant for me off the pillow holding my hand lightly in his own, “give you, Song Yunhyeong, this ring as my lawfully wedded Husband. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise My love to you for as long as we both shall live.”

Sliding the ring onto my finger, I had to take a deep breath to stop the sob that was rising out of me. I’m too weak for all of this – not the wedding, but the vows.

“Yunhyeong, please repeat after me: I, Song Yunhyeong, -,” My fingers became a little clammy as I took the ring preparing myself.

“I, Song Yunhyeong, give you, Kim Hanbin, this ring as my lawfully wedded Husband. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise My love to you for as long as we both shall live.” Repeating exactly what he had done to me, I slid the ring on taking a deep breath to force my smile away.

Holding hands, we stared at one another letting the officiants words run over us as he spoke about what it’ll take for a marriage to work and other things that I’ll surely remember later on.

“By the power invest in me, I now pronounce you Husband and Husband,” Squeezing the hands in my own, we both took small steps forward already knowing the words. “You may kiss your Husband!”

The moment our lips connected, I couldn’t stop the tears that fell because the only thing I wished so hard for had finally come true. I’ll now be spending the rest of my life bothering this childish police officer until the day he dies. I’ll be sure to enjoy every last moment of it. Pulling apart, the cheers entered our ears as he announced the happy couple calling us the Kim’s.

Turning towards our family and friends, we bowed in thanks for them coming to support us, the smiles on our faces wide and matching.

“Now, the people who have been there from the beginning of this relationship till now want to sing for the happy couple.” Looking at the six of the stand, making their way over to the side next to us, we turned trying not to laugh.

We decided that it would be a great idea to have our friends sing since they have good voices, but as they began to argue in whispers, I was slowly regretting our decision. The instrumental of the song they picked out behind our back started causing me to turn my head slightly as I don’t think that I’ll be able to watch this. They are so embarrassing.

“PARTY PEOPLE!” Bobby started it off causing Junhoe to follow throwing himself forward. “We about to get stupid now, let’s get dumb, then get dumber!”

As they acted out the lyrics, I could see the dumbfounded look on our parents faces as they watched our friends make a fool of themselves. They even had a little dance to go along with it. By the end of the song, they were dance around us forcing us to join in with their dancing, our laughter carrying itself around the hall. Well, they’re embarrassing, but we can’t let them go out by themselves. Junhoe ended it with this high pitch screech pulling the mic away until it rested by his side, the sound of the mic bouncing off the walls.

With them finally calm, they fixed themselves before heading back towards their seats as if they hadn’t just thrown a whole party. Thanking everyone with another bow, we made our way down the aisle, my face down and hand over my forehead not wanting to look at our parents just yet. Heading out into the hallway, we took deep breaths leaning onto one another as that went better than we thought it would.

“Our parents are surely going to give us an earful once this is all over.” Laughing, I agreed with his words taking his hand once more as everyone should have made their way outside to the reception.

It was a pretty cute concept with the dance floor in the middle and the tables around it. They were all caged in with this open canopy – it was basically just poles – that held lights wrapped along the top edge down to the ground that it was stuck in. The tables were decorated with the same flowers that were inside courtesy to the other groom who didn’t want to overdo anything. He’s simple – he’ll always be simple, and I like that part of him.

“Don’t step all over my feet when we dance. I still have bandages holding them together.” Tapping my head, hard, he pulled me so that we could go outside, have our first dance, then thank everyone for coming.

We should thank them before, but we decided that it could wait until the end – they aren’t really going anywhere. Stepping out into the cool autumn air, we smiled at everyone as they cheered for us once more. Making our way onto the dance floor, we stood in the middle of it listening in wait for the song that Hanbin said he wanted to pick. Now, that I’m thinking on it, he picked the flowers and the first dance music, and that’s all. I’ve been duped.

“Mr. Kim, can I have this dance?” Nodding, I placed my arms around his neck as his hands found their place on my waist.

We started this slow two-step having to dumb the original dance down from the many mishaps that we had while learning. My toes were a cruel casualty while his shins were another. We’re a mess, but at least, we’re a mess together.

Running my hands up his neck, I hummed along to the song listening as he sung the words that I didn’t know lowly being sure that I was the only one to hear. Giggling at the feeling of his breath in my ear, he held onto me tighter swaying us in a circle, the words continuously pouring from his lips.

“Thank you,” Turning my head to look at him, the moment our eyes met I noticed how watery his had become, “for saving marriage for me. When you were with Wonshik, I begged that you wouldn’t marry him as you started to meet his family. I wanted to be your one and only forever, so I’m thankful that you allowed me to be so.”

“I forgot how much of a baby you are.” Placing our foreheads together, I bit my lip happy to hear that he wanted to marry me as much as I wanted to marry him. “But don’t worry, you’re the only one for me, okay?”

“Mhm, okay.” Removing one hand from his neck, I used it to grab a hand around my waist, intertwining our fingers together, our rings nestled next to each other. “The song’s coming to an end, so let’s do something amazing.”

“Huh?” The moment it left my mouth, I was being dipped back, my mouth falling open to scream only to be pulled right back up.

Ready to scold him, he placed his lips against mine in another kiss to calm me down. Well, I guess it wasn’t all that bad. The music finally stopped causing us to part looking as if we had gotten caught doing something we weren’t supposed to be doing. The dance floor opened after, the music switching to some more upbeat. Leaving the floor, we went towards our parents greeting and thanking them for coming and supporting our relationship, even during our hiccup. They just nodded pulling us into a big hug.

“So, does this mean that we’ll be getting our 3 grandchildren, now?” Choking, I hit my chest wishing to find my breath again.

“Um, we’ll surely decide when the time is right.” It wasn’t a definite, but it definitely wasn’t a negative. “We need to go talk to others, so we’ll come back before you leave, okay?”

Shooing us off, we continued to go around thanking others for their time and support. By the end of the night, we had found ourselves back on the dance floor in between are friends as they continued to act wild – the alcohol in their systems now fueling them on even further.

“What’s the honeymoon plan?” Donghyuk spoke from behind his phone making me wink at him knowing that he was snapping pictures.

“The idiot tricked me into going on a hiking trip, so that’s the plan for our honeymoon.” The group bursts into laughter upon hearing my words.

“Hiking?! You can’t even relax properly doing that!” June’s wheezing had me clearing my throat as the other gripped my waist tightly.

“You sure as hell can! It’s great for clearing your mind and bringing you inner peace.” He just keeps making this worse for himself.

“Inner peace?! Oh – Hyung you’re really funny.” Woo finally joined in, bent over at the waist and slightly leaning on Jaewon for support in his laughter.  

“We should get some cake. Let’s get some cake!” Dragging the other off, I knew he would continue exploding until they had finally shut up, which wouldn’t be any time soon.

Making our way over to the cake table, I listened to him grumble under his breath the whole time about how they were materialistic idiots among many other names that he called our friends on a daily basis. Sighing, I grabbed a slice and a fork turning around in his hold telling him to open his mouth. He did as he was told causing me to shovel some of the cake into it, his mouth closing around the fork making sure to get the icing on it. Pulling it out, I got myself some doing the same as I picked out an amazing flavor. As we continued to share our slice of cake, he calmed down leaned into me saying that I smelled good.

“Can you at least wait till we get home?” Pushing his too close face away, I finished off the rest of the piece placing the dish on top of the other dirty ones. “Come on, Bin!”

“Fine, but I don’t want to hear anything tomorrow.” Flicking his forehead, I took notice of two familiar faces making me skip over to them.

“So, you did come?” Wonshik looked away from Hakyeon’s face with a huge smile as I waited for his excuse. “I literally went all over this place and I haven’t caught sight of you once, so where did you come from?”

“You must not have been really looking because I distinctly remember you dancing at the alter with your friends, a wild blush on your face.” Swatting at his arm, I really didn’t need him to bring that up again.

“I must not have been – anyway, thanks for coming, it means a lot to me.” Lightly shaking our hands, I pulled away turning towards Hakyeon. “It’s nice to see you, again. Are you keeping him busy?”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Smirking at Shik, he covered his face this time embarrassed by our conversation. “Where’s the other groom?”

Turning, I looked around starting from the table I had just left him at over to our friends who were chatting in a circle. I soon caught sight of him at the table filled with the drinks. Pointing at him, they both laughed as he threw back a glass of what I’m guessing to be wine from the color. He better not become a mess like how he was at Dongbob’s wedding.

“Want to go say hi?” Asking, they both shook their heads with satisfied smiles. “Aww, why not?”

“I think Hanbin and I have said enough greetings to last us a few more months.” Scoffing, all I could do was nod before thanking them for coming once more.

Heading over to the other, he raised his head winking at me once he noticed that I was approaching him. Slipping the glass from his fingers, I put it to my lips sipping on it to confirm that it was in fact wine, the kind Hyung had bullied us into getting. He said he wouldn’t come otherwise. Sitting it on the table, I rested my head on his shoulder taking notice of how fatigue was starting to kick in from me being stressed all day.

“We did it, finally.” Yeah, we did. “Now, let’s head home and do it.”

Slapping his chest, he groan quickly apologizing for being the pervert that he is.

“Do you think our parents can handle the clean up?” We had an understanding between us at my words causing us to sprint towards our parents.

We told them that we were tired and ready to head home which had them giving us pointed looks that we ignored in favor of staring at the sky. They agreed to clear the party out and clean up, but we had to say our goodbyes before we could leave. Agreeing to their trade-off, we went around quickly bidding everyone a goodnight and thanking them for the nth time that night. Once we had ran through the whole party, they told us they’d bring everything over in the morning, which meant we had the night to ourselves.

Leaving the venue, we raced to the car laughing at one another as we got in pulling our ties loose. Unbuttoning the first few buttons, I finally felt as if I could breathe again, and when I took off my suit jacket that really allowed me to relax. The officer speed through the roads cursing every so often wanting others to move out of our way.

“Calm down, it’s not that deep.” Doing a sharp turn, I held onto the seat suddenly fearing for my life.

“Not that deep? You must not see how you look right now.” Glancing down at myself, I honestly felt nothing appealing about my current state, then again, he’s different form me.

The tires burned as he pulled into our complex, parking crooked in his spot saying he’d fix it in the morning. Pulling me out of the car, I tripped over my feet trying to stay with his pace only to find myself pulled into our apartment the door slamming closed behind us. His voice screaming that he’d consummate this marriage until it couldn’t be consummated anymore was the last thing I laughed at for the rest of the night.


	45. In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh you make my life complete - oh yes you do." - Bobby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a approx. three year time skip from the wedding date. Includes cute stuff and Hanbin being thrown aside by his family - as per usual. I hope you enjoy it.

The sound of high pitch squealing and the weight of a body on me had me groaning in slight irritation. It shouldn’t be time to get up yet, not right now. I literally worked overtime practically last night, and I didn’t make it home until around two in the morning. It’s the holidays meaning that I should be allowed to sleep in, even if it’s only for an hour more.

“Daddy! Help me!” Groaning, again, I wrapped my arms around the child on top of me coming in contact with bare skin that stopped around his waist. “Appa wants me to wear the purple _jeogri_ , but I don’t want to wear it anymore.”

“Mhm, is that why you’re only in your underwear?” I didn’t want to talk much as I mentally prepared myself to sleep more, but it seems that the universe has other plans for me.

“YAH! Kim Hanbin and Kim Yunho!” I only want an hour – just one. “Hanbin, you need to get up and start getting dressed, and Yunho, you need to do the same.”

Finally, opening my eyes, I turned my head to see three other people making their way deeper into the room. They were already dressed and ready to go making me look down at the child staring up at me with the brightest smile. I won’t be getting anymore sleep, sadly. Sitting up, Yunho slide down my chest until he was sitting in my lap, tongue stuck out at his younger brother, Taeho, who was trying his hardest to get on the bed. Well, a three year old can only do so much.

“I know, you didn’t sleep much, but we promised we’d go. You know how our parents are about the kids. They need to suck some of their youth out of them to feel content.” Yun came closer smoothing my bed hair down making the baby attached to his chest laugh at me.

“Yeah, I know, I know. Give me a minute.” Kissing my forehead, he turned to the child in my lap staring at him in wait.

“Fine, I’ll wear it.” Tossing my arms away, he climbed off the bed walking out of the room and towards wherever they had just come from.

It’s more than likely their bedroom.

Yun followed taking ahold of Taeho’s hand so that he didn’t hurt himself as he was so prone to do. The fact that we aren’t related at all, but are so similar is always amazing to me, because I used to almost kill myself when I was a toddler.

“I need to drive, get up. It’s Chunseok, you have to get dressed for the holidays.” Repeating the lines over and over again to myself, I stood from the bed tottering my way into the main bedroom’s bathroom.

We had to move to accommodate the new additions, and even though it more spacious and family friendly, I miss the home we had first gotten together. I shouldn’t dwell – I really shouldn’t – but there are a lot of memories there. Well, we’ll be making a lot here, so it’s fine with me either way. Grabbing my toothbrush, I ran it under some water before squeezing the toothpaste on top of the bristles and under the water once more. Tossing it into my mouth, I brushed lazily staring at my reflection in the mirror as I look punch-drunk.

“Daddy!” Peeking my head into the doorway, Taeho looked exactly how I did a few minutes ago as he came closer and closer. “Need help?”

“Can you get me a towel?” He took off with a scream calling for Yun to ask where the towels are. “Cute.”

Yun and I only had a year of quietness before we started to think about the whole family aspect of our lives. We had first decided on only one child thinking that the whole idea of three would be too much at the moment. But as you can see, we got three, and it’s all Donghyuk and Jinhwan’s fault. Dong and Bobby had adopted a little girl who had ended up being their little dream as she’s such a skater girl – aka tomboy to the max. Yun had thought it was so cute, and then came Jinhwan adopting a little boy who’s as much as a mess as Yunho is. That has seemed to fuel the baby fever in the other.

We had gone to agency and the other who had been thinking of many different children, stopped the moment we got out of the car, pointing towards a 4-year-old saying that he wanted him. The kid looked at him as if he had lost his mind causing me to grab the other dragging him inside where the headmaster was waiting. In the end, that 4-year-old had ended up coming home with us snaking loudly on the many snacks that Yun had kept stuffing in his lap.

Six months later, Yun had run up to me saying that Yunho is lonely, so we should get one more only to get a brother sister combo. They were so cute and precious according to Yun meaning that we just had to have them, so here we are now. Almost two years into this, and they were very cute and precious for a 5-year-old, 3-year-old and 10-month-old – when they’re not terrorizing the house that is. I love them all the same, though.

“Here, daddy! Towel!” Bending down, I took the towel that was swallowing the younger making me laugh. “What’s funny, daddy?”

“You’re just too cute for me, Tae.” Puckering his lips, he rushed at me placing a nice wet kiss to my cheek.

“Fighting!” Nodding, he ran out of the bathroom leaving me to stay there looking like a lovesick idiot.

“HANBIN! GET READY NOW!” Flinching, I began to wash my face not wanting to anger the other even more.

Getting dressed in the outfit he had picked out for me yesterday, I came out of the bedroom flicking my wrist as I strapped on my watch. It was the same one his dad had given me all those years ago; it’s in great condition, so I’m going to wear it until the gears are falling out. Heaving a small sigh, I saw Yunho helping Taeho put on his shoes while Yun was running around between the living room and kitchen making sure that the bags had everything in them. Hyelin must be having fun with how fast he’s going.

“Finally! I thought I was going to have to drag you out of there.” Smiling at him, he rolled his eyes tossing my coat at me.

“When did you change your outfit?” Looking him over, he wasn’t wearing the pink button down that he had laid out yesterday, instead having thrown on a black turtleneck. “Guess we’re matching this year.”

“Yeah, someone thought it would be funny to fling a spoon full of baby food at me while eating her breakfast.” The child in question made this gurgling noise as if she wasn’t at fault. “Don’t give me that, missy. You were practically clapping at what you had done.”

“You still got it, Appa, so it’s fine.” Patting his shoulder, he puckered his lips the same way that Taeho had – this must be where he gets it from.

Pressing a quick kiss to his lips, Yunho screamed out ‘Eww’ which had me turning around scooping him into my arms, peppering his face with kisses. Children are affections worst enemy, I now know that like a second heartbeat.

“Come on, we need to go. Traffic is already hectic and with our parents waiting it’ll be a car ride full of phone calls.” Our mothers have literally become worry monsters since we got the children.

“I still can’t believe they had both called us at five in the morning to remind us that we’re gathering at your parent’s home this year.” Shouldering bag after bag, I kept shaking my head as we looked like we’re moving. “Do we really need all of this?”

“Of course! I know you’re going to get duped into drinking with the elders, which mean we won’t be going home tonight. I need to make sure that I can handle them over there.” He had a point – they always end up getting me to drink more than I normal do.

Hooking the car keys onto my pinky, it was the only available finger left, we made our way out of our apartment and towards the elevator. The moment we stepped on the pit of hell opened as Taeho and Yunho that it would be a great idea to play a small game of tag knowing that there isn’t all that much room. They were in between my legs and around them making me stand with my legs spread apart so that they wouldn’t bump into me. When the doors had opened for the parking structure, they took off towards our parking spots, the game having gone from tag to racing.

“Are you sitting in the back again?” Coming up to the mini-van, that we were forced into getting by our parents, I stuck my foot under it causing the trunk to open.

“Who’s going to keep them calm? Because if you want to then we can switch?” Falling silent in hopes that he’d forget what he just said, I continued to pack the trunk with the bags. “Aww, come on, Dad. Let me drive, please!”

“Do you remember what happened the last time I let you drive on such a busy holiday?” Closing the trunk, I walked around to see him buckling Yunho into his car seat.

“That was only because you weren’t helping me. I missed the exit and freaked out, fine I’ll admit to that, but you didn’t have to yell at me to pull over like that.” Okay, I was agitated with how the family gathering had gone, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on him, but I just blew up.

“Sorry, I made it up to you when we got home and put everyone to sleep didn’t I?”

“Stop being a pervert!” Swatting me away, he continued to buckle the kids in making his way to the last row with Hyelin.

“Daddy a pervert? What perrrrr-vert?” The gasp that came out of Yun shook the whole car – I mean, he’s the one who said it.

Starting the car, I was glad when my phone had immediately connected to the Bluetooth allowing me to put on the children’s’ songs playlist. It had ultimately taken away the elder ones attention as they started screaming the lyrics to their favorite song. Yun had mouthed a ‘thank you’ to me through the rearview mirror causing me to wink at him.

Pulling out of the parking structure and onto the busy street, I leaned back into my seat with a sigh. This’ll be a longer drive than normal. Once we made it to the freeway, it was overly congested with the later starters, so moving my way into the inner right lane I stayed there wanting to make exiting easier. We ended up being stuck in between two exits for way longer than needed, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise when the song cut off and the car started to ring. Answering, I was met with the overly concerned voice of my mother who seemed to be one breath away from having a heart attack.

“Is everything okay? Is anyone hurt? You guys are taking longer than usual? Should I send your dad to come pick you guys up from where you’re at? Yah, Kim Hanbin! Don’t injure my babies!” I was in such a state of shock that I almost slammed on the breaks.

Her babies?! What about me? She gave birth to me and raised me for 18-years! Is this what parenthood entails?

“GRANDMA!” At the voices of her “babies”, all worry had left her as she started cooing over the phone.

“My babies sound good. What’s taking you guys so long?” Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because everyone and their mother is out on the road today.

“We’re stuck in traffic, mom. We should be there in an hour or less, so sit tight, okay?” Threatening me, she hung up causing the song to start blaring through the speakers once more. “Rude.”

By the time we made it, they had come out to meet us, immediately going for the children that they unclipped from their car seats. Well, besides, Hyelin as Yun had taken to carrying her. Opening the trunk once more, I started to grab bag after bag getting the bare minimum help from my dad as he only took Hyelin’s diaper bag. Muttering a ‘thanks, I guess’, he slapped my back laughing out a ‘no problem’. I’m tired of the disrespect that has been bestowed upon me.

“Hyung, do you need help?” Glancing over, I finally took notice of Jaewon who was trying hard not to laugh at my pain.

“Here.” Handing him half of the load, I groaned in relief before slamming the trunk closed and making my way into the house. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Going into Yun’s bedroom, I dropped everything onto the floor causing the other to do the same. “So, you and Yunhyeong Hyung decided to match, huh?”

“Unintentionally.” Slinging my arm over his shoulder I moved us back towards the festivities. “That’s what happens when you have children and not a lot of time.”

Entering the living room, everyone seemed to be having a photoshoot as the kids sat in the middle of the room playing and laughing with one another. I hope they get out of this soon. Moving to the side, Chanwoo came over to us showing us the photos he took of his baby cousins. Jaewon is going to really get it whenever they decide to get married and adopt kids of their own.

After their little photo session, they had brought out the long table sitting it in the living room. As the table started to be filled with food, I took off my coat in order to help Yun’s dad who seemed to be losing his mind with all the chaos. It wasn’t as bad as last year, but it was still chaos none the less.

With the table now set and filled with food, we all gathered around preparing ourselves for the feast before we continued on with the other activities. I had Taeho in my lap, Yunho sat in between Yun and I, while Yun continued to hold onto Hyelin. I’m starting to think that he doesn’t want to part with her. Yun at faster than he normally did trying to stuff as much food in his mouth as possible before turning to Yunho and motioning to the food.

“You eat, okay? I’ll worry about Yunho and Taeho.” Sighing, he thanked me going straight back to his food. “Anything you want?”

“Meat, daddy.” Nodding, I reached forward taking a hold of one of the plates and scooping some of the meat into his bowl he tapped me saying it was enough. “Thank you.”

“AWW! He said thank you!” Almost having a heart attack, I turned to glare at my mom who was squealing in my ear. “Sorry, it’s just too cute.”

“I know, mom, but what about my hearing? I’m going to go deaf at this rate.”

“Good, then you can appreciate these moments more.” WOOOOW. “Close your mouth, Bin. You don’t want to catch flies, do you?”

“Daddy can eat flies? Eww.” Ruffling Taeho’s head, I continued to stuff his mouth in hopes that he’d not indulge with his grandmother’s games.

Dinner continued with everyone speaking over each other and commenting rude things that they think are helpful. My feelings are literally in shambles. Once the kids were full, I scooped the two little men into my arms taking them into the bathroom to wash their hands and faces. Next, we went into the bedroom changing them out of their hanbok so that they could play more comfortably. They ran out of the room first leaving me to trot behind them with this huge bag of their favorite Legos and other toys that I’ve stepped on plenty of times.

Dumping said bag over in the corner they scrambled over their causing Chanwoo to follow saying that he was full. Which was a great thing on my part because I’m literally on my last leg of energy – I really need a nap, but I know I won’t be getting it with all this noise. Going back to Yun, I took Hyelin from him as she was already taking part in her nap. Changing her, I laid her in the middle of the bed tossing her favorite stuffed animal next to her just in case she woke up.

“Bin, help your dad clean up.” I wanted to cry, although I didn’t, but I was close to doing so.

Leaving the room, I dragged myself over to where my dad was with my arms outstretched as he started to pile dishes into my hands. Shuffling into the kitchen, I stacked them next to the sink before going back for the rest of them.

“Yun go help your husband with the dishes.” He huffed out a ‘yes, mom’ and as his figure came into the kitchen with dirty cups, I couldn’t help the smile that had come onto my face.

“So, I’m guessing that they want us to wash them?” His nod had the smile sliding off my face. “Wha- I guess.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll help.” Of course! What does he think this is? A single person job? “Here.”

Coming up behind me, he held his arms out underneath my own, his chin resting heavily on my shoulder to see what was going on in front of him. This is not the help I was looking for, but why not? Turning on the faucet, I squeezed some soap onto the scrub sticking it in his hand while I lightly rinsed the dish handing it to him to scrub. He actually did a decent job in this position and as we started to get faster, he started to complain about his arms hurting. He was the one who chose this position to begin with.

Sighing, I moved from in front of him coming behind him instead as I kneed him to continue scrubbing so that I can rinse and put them in the drying rack. Leaning into him some, I forced my eyes to stay open, the fatigue from me only sleeping for a few hours was starting to eat me alive.

“Want to go lay down?” Shaking my head, I yawned contradicting my denial. “The dishes are done, so go lay down, okay?”

“Hyelin is…bed.” Is my brain not working or are my words becoming lost during the journey to my mouth?

“Hyelin is a bed? Ha! Come on, I’ll lay out the _yo_ for you.” Giving in, I wrapped my arms around his neck allowing him to drag me back to the room.

Laying it out, he pulled the blanket back allowing me to just scoot on in. Once I was situated and comfortable, he tried to go back to the party, but I was having none of that as we haven’t had any alone time in a while. We’re either always working or taking care of the kids, so we should use these few minutes to get in touch with one another, again. Pulling him down, I wrapped my arms around him, tossing the blanket over him so that he can be comfortable as well.

“What are you doing, Mr. Kim?” Humming, I ran my fingers through his hair – we haven’t done this in a while.

“Laying with my baby, Mr. Kim.” The small burst of laughter he let out, warmed my heart more than he’d ever know.

“Everyone is going to wonder where we ran off to, you know.” Shrugging as it wasn’t like we left the house, he decided to return my hug. “I never got to ask how work was.”

“Decent besides having to work overtime. We got the perp, so yeah, that was the only good thing about it. Oh, I also didn’t have to process him, so that’s good to. How’s the ER?”

“Hectic as usual. Not to mention that I had gotten a call from Yunho’s Kindergarten saying that he was causing trouble for another student. I couldn’t do anything until I had gotten off of work, but when I went to your parents to gather everyone, he came to me apologizing.” At least he knows what he’s done wrong. “He’s a good kid, just a little crazy, like you.”

“Me? Crazy? I’m not.” He harshly tapped my lower back making me jump. “Yah! I am not crazy.”

“Says the guy who went to go pick Yunho up with half of your team. You even made a kid cry for playfully punching his arm.” I was in the right! That child was in the wrong!

“Shouldn’t have hit him, then he wouldn’t have cried; plus, I was in the middle of work and they wanted to see him. What am I supposed to say? No? They even brought us a meal.”

“Yeah, a meal for a child’s tears. Great exchange, isn’t it, Satan?” Pinching his side, he scrunched up causing him to come closer into my arms. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Let go.”

“Kiss?” Tilting my head down, he craned his head up giving me more than one quick kiss. “Now, let’s sleep.”

“I am not going to sleep with you. I’m not even tired.”

“Yes, you are.” The moment the words left my mouth, a loud wailing had us both sitting up to see that Hyelin had woken up. “You’re not.”

“I’ll take her out, so sleep, okay?” Nodding, he rolled off of the _yo,_ crawling towards the bed and scooping the little girl into his arms.

Carrying her out of the room, it was somewhat quiet, so the second I closed my eyes I was out like a light. I don’t know how long I slept, but the feeling of my phone ringing in my pocket had me sighing heavily. I can’t catch a break. Not one! Opening my eyes, I felt the weight on my body and my left arm making me looked down to see that Taeho and Yunho were taking their naps on me. At least they like me enough to do so. Digging in my pocket, I slapped my phone to my ear ready to curse whoever this is out.

“Rookie? Are you busy?” Can he stop calling me that? We’ve already had two new members in the span of these two almost three years.

“Yes, I am.” He scoffed, the sound of his fingers typing harshly had me sighing again. “What do you need Seunghoon?”

“What happened to that file you were viewing yesterday?” File? What – oh, that file.

“I stuck it back in it’s place. It should be on E cart in between the court documents.” Slowly removing the phone from my ear to hang up, I thought that would be all, but I was clearly mistaken.

“I already looked there, and I couldn’t find it.” Huh? “Yeah, it said that you had checked it out after returning it. Do you even remember taking it back yesterday?”

“I didn’t – I did. It’s directly in the middle of the folders on my desk. It should be between the red and blue folder.” Thanking me, he hung up making me toss my phone to the side as I went back to sleep.

“HANBIN!” What the fuck do you people want from me?! “Han- oh, continue to sleep, honey.”

I might as well – I should just get up.

Rolling Taeho off of me, I laid him next to Yunho pulling the blanket further over them. Leaving the room, I closed the door softly behind me, my eyes taking forever to adjust to the bright lights of the hallway. Stepping into the living room, I saw Yun sitting on the floor and glancing over I saw that Hyelin was with his mom, so taking the opportunity I laid my head in his lap. I don’t care about the noise or anything else. I should be comfortable as I’m now wide awake.

“I heard you on the phone, who was it?” Grumbling at the thought of the phone call I just ended, he started to thread his fingers through my hair.

“Seunghoon. He’s stuck working today with only Minwoo – they’re both idiots – and he needed to know where this file is. I had checked it out.”

“Did you tell him?” Nodding, I rolled over so that I could stare up at the ceiling. “He must have been grateful?”

“Seunghoon…grateful? Do you hear yourself, Yun? You know how he is. I’m sure Seungyoon tells you more than enough.” The two had become close liking to spend their time talking about how stupid their husbands are whenever they meet up.

“Yeah, but it’s not really a convenient time to be calling you with work related things.”

“He did say thanks, now that I think about it, but that’s probably as far as it’ll get.” Agreeing with a small hum, I took his free hand intertwining our fingers together. “Thanks for trying to get me to sleep.”

“You know I’d do anything for you; plus, I can’t have you fainting on me, I’m sure I’d faint right along with you.” I really do love that his sense of humor has improved over the years.

“I love you.” The smile that stretched across my face had one stretching across his own.

“Love you, too.” The sound of shuffling in my ear had me turning my head to see Hyelin crawling towards us.

Placing her small hand on my cheek, she laughed before opening her mouth wider, “‘ove”.

“Huh? Love?” She nodded repeating it again, this time perfectly.

“HYELIN SAID HER FIRST WORD!” Yun tossed my head aside making me grab ahead of the back of my head.

I’m starting to feel like a side piece in this family and I don’t appreciate it! At all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is it! I started working on this August 24th of last year and after less than 5 months, I finished it. I want to thank everyone who has been along for the ride and enjoyed the story. I also hope you guys tune in for other stories - I hope you check out the songs I used as well, if you haven't heard any of them before. Thanks again for all the comments and kudos on this story that I didn't know how far I wanted to take. See you next story *kisses*.

**Author's Note:**

> Majority of the songs will be iKON songs, and it's kind of in order from songs from debut up until now. Also, some of the chapters will be based off of certain scenes in the MVs.


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